Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

just the right jogging stroller a must for baby bunchers on the run

In seven years of parenting, I am loathe to admit that although I've used the heck out of my assorted jogging strollers, I've only actually used them to jog once or twice.  This is due to a host of excuses reasons (I'm tall so the stroller interferes with my stride, I cheaped out and went with BabyTrend joggers which are great for walking but not so great for running, the stroller always veers slightly to the left  - probably because I cheaped out, and most importantly - I could barely ever propel my running self forward more less two additional smaller selves).  

Having hit my "life" stride in recent months, I've also gotten back into my workout groove and have a nice running routine in place.  Not coincidentally, the biggest two of my Bunch are onto scooter phase (less babies=more personal time, are you serious - who knew?!?!).  Now that I'm downsized back into the single jogger AND in better shape, I decided to strap the Caboose into the jogger this morning and venture out to my favorite running spot. He proceeded to cling to the sides of the stroller in fear howling, "It's rolling too fast!  It's rolling too fast!"  It was amateur hour on the running trail this morning, let me tell you.

This morning's exercise left me wondering - if I'd known then what I know now when I bought my very first BabyTrend jogger (because it was the most affordable one available), would I have invested a little more in a higher quality stroller to assist with ease of workouts?  I see lots and lots of moms on the trail with double joggers (mostly of the BOB variety, although I know Linda adored her Mountain Buggy), so I know that there are some of you out there that can both stick to a workout routine with two babies AND integrate them into said routine.  My hat is off to you in a MAJOR way.  

Y'all know one of our favorite topics here at Baby Bunching is strollers, so do tell - what's your favorite jogging/workout stroller and why?  And is it worth the splurge to get a stroller that works WITH you instead of against you in your workout?

baby bunching Q/A: working out

We received this question from Amy.

Q: How do moms get their workout in? I have three under three and have to get super creative, but we've been successful for 8 weeks now.

A: Amy, first of all congratulations for being successful for 8 weeks. That is a great start and one that will keep you going. Because as you probably know, the more you workout, the more you feel the need to workout.

Fitting in a workout with two or three little kids can be a challenge. There are as many excuses to not workout as their are reasons to get there in the first place. As a lover of working up a good sweat, I can tell you it's hard to get back after a baby. Cut yourself some slack in the early days. I had one trainer tell me that 6 months is when most moms start returning to the gym. That's when they feel both physically and mentally ready to start working out again. If one of your kids is still an infant, walking (and pushing a heavy double stroller) may be your best option until you feel motivated. Because motivation is 99% of working out.

But here are a few tips to fitting in a workout.

1) Find a gym with childcare. There are many benefits beyond just a line of treadmill that you can get from a gym. Most gym child care centers give you two hours to work out. I know moms (including myself) who bring their laptop to the gym after a work out and follow up on emails, take care of some business or return phone calls. This is a perfect way to get a few minutes to yourself and maybe even have a cup of coffee. I've even seen moms nursing babes in the locker room for some uninterrupted feeding time. Don't be put off by gym costs. If you actually go, it's worth it for babysitting, for your health and a long life of good habits. It can be an investment in your well-being. (Note: you'd be suprised how much room there is for bargaining on fees.)

2) Get a friend to join. All you need is one other person at the gym with you. If you make regular "gym dates" with a girlfriend, you're less likely to find an excuse to bail. It's even better if she has kids close in age to yours because then your kids get a play date out of the deal as well.

3) Get a trainer for a few sessions. I did this last fall and it's amazing what it did for my workouts. I only paid for 4 sessions. My workouts had become stale and boring, and she was able to offer me advice (and a routine) for getting in a thorough workout in 45 minutes (weights and cardio!). It provided me new energy for working out and a reason to go because I could do it in less than an hour.  

4) If you're motivated to workout at home, get a few good workout DVDs and let your kids work out with you. (I have never been able to make this successful, but know many people can do this.) Heck invite a friend over for this, too, so you can do it together. It might keep you from stopping to unload the dryer.

5) Walk. You'd be surprised how much walking can do for you. it's a lot easier than loading kids in the car sometimes, load everyone into strollers, wagons, scooters or other appropriate means of transportation and walk more places. You'll save on gas too.

6) Bike. Get a bike trailer and take the kids for a very long bike ride. Even if they are arguing you won't hear it.

7) Sign up for a 5K. If you're a beginner, a 5K is a good motivation for working out. Decide you will run the 3+ miles and do it. Running just 15-20 minutes a few times a week is a good way to give you a realistic goal. Chances are by then you'll decide you love the benefits to working out.  

Don't set unrealistic goals. If there is no way you will work out at home, don't go buy a treadmill thinking you will. If you are not a morning person, don't expect to be out for a run at 6:30 a.m. No one expects you to train for a marathon with little kids. The best advice we can give is to have a friend do this with you if you're not internally motivated to sweat. It's more fun and it makes you accountable.

Get out there and get in shape girl!

baby bunching Q/A: babysitters

Q: What are some creative babysitting solutions for my Bunch (ie, babysitting co-op with your friends)?

A: Ah yes, babysitting. Remember the days when you babysat for kids and charged some ungodly low rate to sit and watch TV Those days seem to be long gone. When you've got a Bunch, we bet there are not a ton of sitters lining up at your door to babysit your two under two. We're not going to sugar coat it, finding good, reliable, affordable sitters can be a challenge when you're kids are wee ones.

You probably have different needs for childcare: dinner out with hubby, doctor's appointments, errands, break from kids. Even if you don't have a regular sitter, there definitely are some creative options to getting what you need.

A babysitting co-op is probably the most guilt free way to get free, reliable babysitting. Many mom's groups have these already established so ask around. The basic principle is you sign up with a group of other moms. You earn points for babysitting and use points by having someone else babysit your kids. The best part is there are sites like Babysitter Exchange that manage all of this for you. This model is nice because daytime sitting means your kids probably get a play date out of the gig.

Along the same idea of a co-op is a type of babysitting playgroups. This is a group of moms and  their kids of similar ages. Two moms together watch a group of kids while the other two-three moms go run errands or schedule appointments. It's hectic but if everyone chips in then you only have to "work it" every few weeks.

If you don't have a large group of mom friends for this, consider swapping babysitting favors with a friend or neighbor. Especially when it's evening sitting, moms are usually OK with curling up on a book at someone else's house while mom and dad go out. If your neighbors all have grown kids, befriend a grandmotherly type. You'd be surprised how an almost empty nester might be willing to watch your kids for a few hours one afternoon as a treat rather than a chore.

Another untapped resource is the au pair market. Many of the au pairs come to work for families with school-aged kids. Hiring one to pick up extra work between 9 to 3 means you get a good quality, legal, trained, kid-friendly sitter for a decent price. Others have stayed on to complete school or pick up an extra degree and have better hours available for sitting. They are better suited for taking care of multiple kids.

If you have a school-aged child in your neighborhood (12-16), a mother's helper is another option. We tend to not recommend you go too far with these younger gals, but most are great at helping you when you're in the home and just needing some time to get things done. Or if you have a doctor's appointment, bring them along to help you out. Sometimes all you need is another set of hands. They tend to charge around $5 an hour so it's an option you may want to explore.

Don't forget your gym! Most gym child care centers give you two hours to work out. I know moms (including myself) who bring their laptop to the gym after a work out and follow up on emails, take care of some business or return phone calls. This is a perfect way to get a few minutes to yourself and maybe even have a cup of coffee. The cost is usually built in to your membership, and if not, isn't $1 an hour worth it?

Any other great ideas we missed, let us know.

what moms really do at the gym

The one thing that never ceases to amaze me is the number of moms at the gym on any given weekday morning--the classes are nearly full, every cardio machine is packed and every lane of the pool is taken.  Are these women really there to pump iron or just sweat out their frustrations from the morning? Maybe. Are these women training for a marathon or just losing baby weight? Perhaps I think the dirty little secret is a great gym membership includes free babysitting. And if you’re fortunate enough to have a nearby gym like a neighborhood YMCA (or some such equivalent), you get a pool, sauna and maybe even a coffee bar and spa with Wifi to boot.

I love working out. But I will attest that the gym is often my ticket to some peace in my own head or at least a mental break. Sometimes I will just walk on the treadmill and watch trash TV. Sometimes I will completely write a blog post in my head (then scribble it down on the aerobics schedule) on my way to pick up my kids. Sometimes I will daydream. Sometimes I will zone out. Sometimes I read a book on the stationary bike.

My kids are safe, playing, having a great time, and I can have a few minutes to get my blood flowing and find peace or at least some version of that.

So when I saw my friend there today, and we chatted on this topic, she relayed to me one of the funnier stories I’ve heard related to moms-going-to-great-lengths-for-a-break. Last week there was a young baby crying, and it took the staff 45 minutes to find the mom. Where was she? In the sauna, reading a book. Clearly the last place anyone would look. Silly mom for not writing down where she would be (not recommended), but good idea on a place to escape.

So during my Baby Bunching years, this is what I’ve seen and heard from moms looking for their own time out at the gym:

• A mom put her oldest child (still a toddler) in the childcare and sat on one of the comfy couches in the lobby to nurse her baby.  (Another mom admitted later she did this almost daily because it guaranteed her a good feeding without the interruption of her toddler.)
• A mom came to walk her newborn in the stroller--and sometimes it was a Baby Bjorn--around the track (which also sits above the childcare center) so she could get exercise, put the baby to sleep and keep her other kid happy.
• One mom had a long night of all three kids being up for various reasons—she took a shower at the gym after walking on the treadmill and zoned in the locker room for a good 15 minutes (almost falling asleep) until she felt better.
• Another mom--very pregnant--was still chugging along on the treadmill because it was still a rest from dealing with her other two kids.
• A mom needed to get some work done, used the Wifi in the lobby, grabbed a coffee and sat down to work for an hour.
• A mom was trying to finish a book club book and she plunked both kids in the nursery and set off to finish the book on the bike at a book-reading pace. The same mom also used the time to return phone calls on her cell phone so her two children wouldn't interrupt the calls.
• A mom (me) finally realized I needed a break after a week of husband out of town. I worked out, showered and sat to read a magazine with a cup of coffee…until my daughter caught me during a potty break.
So don't judge your neighbor who's always at the gym and not losing all the weight. She might be working out or simply "working it out."

This post was originally posted at DC Metro Moms.

cara's red-letter week

Since I share my fair share of parenting-related sorrows here, thought I'd share some follow-up stories on the successes as well.

First up is that Baby is FINALLY on decent sleeping schedule.  He has been on one (sort of) since about three months but it really sucked since he slept in short snatches during the daytime.  At five and a half months old, he is now taking a 1.5 hour nap in the morning, an afternoon nap ranging anywhere from 2 to 3.5 hours and he is in bed by 6:30 for the night.  With no interruptions.  I don't hear from him until 7 or 8 the next morning.  Are you jealous yet? 

We are on 5 straight days of this but I'll probably jinx myself by broadcasting it to the world.  Thanks to those of you who offered comments and support on my previous sleep schedule post.  I would like to publicly recognize Stimey, whose suggestion to hold the baby while he napped was dismissed outright, but in fact ended up being my primary methodology for coping with the past five months.  What was I thinking to dismiss the wisdom of a fellow Baby Buncher and mom of three boys - sorry, Stimey. 

I will now pass this wisdom on to you other Baby Bunchers so that you, too, can promptly ignore it.  After three babies, I have realized that their "adjustment to the world" period pretty much lasts SIX MONTHS, not the three months that most books and pediatricians tell you it does.  My kids all leveled out a little around three months, but they leveled out a LOT around six months.  So don't despair if they are still scheduless disasters at 4 months.  All hope is not lost - hang in there.

Next up is that my workout prayers have been answered.  Yesterday on the way home from preschool carpool, I noticed that a new gym called Snap has opened up just across from my house.  Snap has not paid me to make the following comments, although I wish they had.  Snap is awesome because it is A) close, B) cheap C) open 24 hours a day and  D) month-to-month with no contract required.   It does not have childcare, but the aforementioned benefits mean that I can use it as a bridge solution until the wee one is old enough for us to reactivate our YMCA membership and return there.  So for the next few months at least, I will be working out at any time of day that I can convince some poor soul to watch my children for at least 30 consecutive minutes.  I hit the elliptical for 30 minutes tonight (baby steps) and it felt great! 

Is it coincidental that baby sleeping decently and my desire to return to working out, going back to work, and actually brushing my hair once in awhile have surfaced at the same time?  I think not.  Historically, this is the honeymoon time frame (after baby is sleeping through the night but before he starts crawling) in which I would get pregnant again.  Not this time, people.  I'm officially back to myself.  For good this time.  And it feels damn good.

get in shape, girl

New baby is 5 months old and my muffin top is officially starting to bug me.  Such has been the pattern with my other boys too, as well as other moms I've talked to.  Must be the fact that you finally get to sleep through the night sometimes at this age that makes you wake up and see your physical flaws.

Prior to having children, I was actually quite physically active.  I swam competitively in high school and frequently trained 3-4 hours A DAY.  In college and afterward, I naturally cut back on that but kept to a nice steady workout pattern of 4-5 times a week.  I'm always a little lucky in that most of my baby weight falls right off, but I'm left with some disproportionate version of myself that has bigger breasts (a welcome thing), but a longer torso and a doughy tummy. For the first 4-5 months post-partum, I can't even see straight enough to notice my plump, droopy figure.  Then, all of the sudden it hits me like a ton of bricks that I need to get back to the gym.  Unfortunately, 4 or 5 months is also still a young enough age that I am reluctant to dump my precious darling in the germy gym child care center, so how's a girl to squeeze in a workout?

With Baby #1, I bought a jogging stroller, hit the road, and walked my way back into shape.  Hubby had a less demanding job back then, so he watched baby in the evening while I supplemented with workouts at the local community center (which has no child care center).

With Baby #2, I got irritated at my figure 5 months post-partum, but frankly, wasn't in any condition to do anything about it until I was EIGHTEEN MONTHS post-partum.  Baby Bunching really did a number on me.  I bought a double jogger, but the kids couldn't stop arguing long enough for me to walk 5 consecutive minutes without stopping, so it was kinda hard to get a "real" workout.  When I finally got back to the gym, it felt so good to be back in the saddle that I literally had tears in my eyes at that first workout.  This time, I worked out at the crack of dawn at hubby's corporate gym (no child care - boohoo!) before hubby went to work at his job that was even less demanding than the one before it.

Now I have a YMCA membership, which should be awesome because not only can I work out there, my kids can swim and play there while I do it.  Except that I am too tired to even load everyone up in the car to get them there, more less work out once I get there.  And said child care center feels germy for a baby this young in cold and flu season.  Big boys have outgrown the double jogger and there is NO WAY I am going on a walk for exercise purposes (or any purposes, really) with all three children by myself.  Hubby has a way demanding job now and I am lucky if he shows up for dinner.  On the off-chance that he does, I hate to dump the bedtime (or even morning time) routine on him for all three kids.

Yet I have got to do something.  I'm thinking my only option is going to be home-based workouts, which other moms seem to like but I have always detested.  I really depend on the external motivation of top-notch exercise equipment and other people suffering with me to push myself to my physical limits.  But at this stage of the game, something is better than nothing, so off I go in search of a decent workout tape.  I date myself by saying this, but anyone remember "Get in Shape, Girl?" from the 80's?  The awesome theme song and those ribbon-thingies are stuck in my head - I wonder if you can still buy those?  Plus I am singing the song to my baby right now while he does Jumperoo and he really likes it...dare I dream that we could work out together?

Any other suggestions?  Or are there magical solutions for carving out more time or kid-friendly workouts that I haven't thought of?  My waistline begs for your help.

feeling the pain

One of the occupational hazards of Baby Bunching is physical pain. We're not talking about the kind that comes from childbirth and recovery.  We're talking about the kind that comes from carrying a toddler and a baby around at the same time, nursing 23 hours a day with your arms and shoulders held in unnatural positions, constantly darting to rescue toddlers teetering off playground equipment/dashing into the street/running away in the store, etc. - you get the point.  That doesn't even include the pain incurred by lifting all the gear - moving car seats from vehicle to vehicle, hoisting a double stroller in and out of your trunk with one hand while your other holds a kid, and assembling and disassembling the PackNPlay in every location known to man. 

Both my husband and I noticed when we were in the thick of Baby Bunching that it seemed to have aged our bodies considerably.  We would literally fall into bed exhausted at the of every day with aching muscles that we didn't even know we had.  And it continued on that way for about 4 years.  Yes, Baby Bunching is definitely a marathon, not a sprint, so settle in for the long haul.  Fortunately, by the time my youngest reached 2 1/2, everyone was walking well, we were doing considerably less toting around of children, and we noticed that our ibuprofen consumption had dropped by half.

Enter another new baby.  I'm not sure if my husband is feeling the pain this time around, but I sure am.  This one has to be nursed sitting up due to his reflux, which requires a bizarre contortion of my breast and his head, all tacked together by clenching everything in my arms at odd angles.  After he eats, he has to be held upright, preferably on someone's (usually mine) shoulder.  This baby prefers to be held.  All the time.  So I wear him in the Moby wrap while I trek up and down the three floors of my house attending to the needs of the rest of my Bunch.  He can't walk yet so I don't have to chase him, but his big brothers are now high-energy 3 and 4 year olds who have discovered wheels - bikes, skates, scooters, etc.  So keeping up with them has taken on a whole new element.  All in all, Michael Phelp's daily workout has nothing on mine.

On the bright side, I have just about dropped all my baby weight.  Too bad I hung on to a freakishly elongated torso, a doughy tummy, and breasts that are luscious now but will return to their normal paper-thin, mosquito bite sized proportions once I quit nursing. Ugh. 

Speaking of weight loss, an interesting word to the wise for Baby Bunchers.  When I was nursing my second son, my OB warned me that I needed to really watch my weight when I quit nursing him.  She claims that many women lose all their baby weight while breastfeeding and then gain it back when they stop because they continue to eat like they are breastfeeding.  This is especially true for women who have babies back-to-back, since their bodies have less time to recover and they may get pregnant again before they stop nursing.  Which makes sense.  I actually weighed LESS when I got pregnant with my second than my first, because the first was only 7 months old and I was still nursing.  I did notice that some weight crept back on after #2.

body by baby

Before I had a baby, I wasn’t really in great shape, but I worked out pretty regularly. After my oldest was born, I was back at the gym, regularly, by the time Alex was four months. This was mainly as an escape from the baby every now and again. I never really got back to my pre-pregnancy weight after Alex since he was seven months old when I got pregnancy with baby #2. (I can hear the sighs now. Yes, I know that was crazy!)

After Anna was born, it took me six months to get myself to the gym. But upon my reemergence into the workout world, I discovered that I was already in shape. I could run a good 20-30 minutes on the treadmill without too much work and wow, I could lift weights like I could back when I was working out regularly. How, you ask, is this possible? Let me explain:

• Baby in Baby Bjorn, toddler carried on hip, diaper bag on back
• Baby in infant carrier, toddler on hip, diaper bag on shoulder
• Baby in stroller/Baby Bjorn, toddler riding on shoulders, diaper back balanced on knee
• Lifting toddler into/out of stroller with baby in Baby Bjorn
• Carrying both kids on hip, toddler carrying diaper bag\

Ok, so you get the point. I was a regular workout junkie without even knowing it. I could lift and squat with the best of them with at least 40 pounds of baby/toddler on me at a given time.

Alex and Anna are now 3 ½ and 2, respectively, and really babies no more. They either walk everywhere or catch a ride in the stroller that they can climb into themselves. But this week I was forced to resort to one of my old positions of baby in stroller and older baby on shoulders due to a hurt foot and paid for this later. After a few months of workouts limited to running and kickboxing, I realized I had neglected to do and weight training. Today, on a whim, I decided to go back to the old weight routine (the one I could do when Anna was six months old) and found out that I am, indeed, out of baby shape.

While taking care of two children less than two years apart is a lot of work, what once was physical work has now become mental and emotional work. Now it’s about negotiating, scheming, creativity and planning, instead of balancing, lifting, squatting or running. For the past four years, my body which has been defined by babies—nine months of pregnancy, recovery/breastfeeding, nine more months of pregnancy, recovery/breastfeeding, heavy lifting of two children—is now defined by me. Guess, I should start going to the gym more often. Thank God they have childcare there.