Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

Best Holiday Gifts for the Baby Bunching Mom

This gift guide, courtesy of super-awesome guest poster Rachel, is a little late coming (our fault, she sent it months ago) but if you're anything like us you haven't even STARTED your shopping yet, so we hope you find it useful!  Super suggestions on what to add to your wishlist (or get the other Baby Bunching moms in your life).  Happy shopping!

1)      Pretty and comfortable nursing bra. If you are breastfeeding, and Baby Bunching, chances are you will not be back in your old lingerie for a while. So a well-fitted nursing bra is a must, and it might as well make you feel beautiful as well. I’m a no-frills type of gal, so a Playtex Womens Nursing Wirefree Bra is my favorite. Nothing fancy, but can be worn with anything, and it makes the girls look really good. However, others might enjoy more sexy, or colorful, and options abound!

2)      Babywearing equipment. This could be a sling, a backpack, a soft carrier, etc. In my opinion, this a must-have when Little Baby is still a tiny, floppy infant, and Big Baby is still a needy, clingy toddler. My personal favorite is the Beco Baby Carrier since it is all-day comfortable for mom and safe and secure for baby, though I usually recommend a simple one-piece sling like Hostlings to new moms.

3)      Baggies galore. I’m talking about cosmetic bags, waterproof ziplock bag alternatives, and any baggie with a zipper. These kind of baggies can turn any purse into a diaper bag, and can be easily transferred from one tote to another. Use a pretty one for all your personal items, and have it double as a clutch for quick trips sans offspring. Use a clear one as a diaper wallet, and never fumble over which size of diaper to pull out.  Or use a zipper bag to store snacks, or a spare set of clothes for the baby, or toys to keep everyone entertained, or the rocks your toddler insists on bringing home.

4)      Smartphone – iPhone, Android, it really doesn’t matter. As long as one of the items you never leave home without doubles as an entertainment system for Big Baby in a pinch; a smartphone has quickly become a must-have for many Baby Bunching mommies.

5)      Nice scarf. What else can serve as a fashion statement/nursing cover/burp cloth/breast leak hider? In a pinch, I’ve even used mine as a mat for changing diapers. Ask for something comfortable (not scratchy wool) and everyday (not silk or velvet) in an oblong shape for maximum usability.  I’ve found a print that incorporates lots of colors is the best, as it works with many different outfits and can hide your toddler’s marker stains as well.

6)      Trendy shades. Sunglasses care for your eyes, can make any outfit look better, and can be worn year-round. If you’re like me, and are constantly losing your shades, or breaking them and blaming your baby for it, then a $10 drugstore pair is as good as any. Just make sure to ask for BIG glasses, Baby Bunching mommy, as those are the kind that hide your dark-circled no-makeup eyes when you make that early morning diaper run.

7) Gift cards for comforting splurges, such as coffee shops, mani/pedi, spa treatments, movie tickets, etc.  Of course, you'd need a sitter to use these, which brings us to....

8) An evening (morning/afternoon/night) off. Let’s face it. For many of us, the best gift we can imagine is a break. This can also be the least expensive option for your younger college-aged sibling, or the favorite option for grandparents. In a life with two babies, “me” time can be harder to find than a good night’s rest, so several hours spent doing an enjoyable  activity qualifies as a good gift for any Baby Bunching mom.

C'mon and help us round out a solid list of ten ideas - what else is on your list?  Happy holidays to everyone, and may you enjoy the best little gifts in your life, your Bunch!

Rachel is a Baby Bunching mom of two beautiful daughters (3.5 years and 2 months) and a handsome son in between (2.5 years). She loves giving and receiving gifts, but is guilt-ridden about spending money.

organizing school papers

The school year is in full swing now that's November. In fact, the first grading period is officially over for my kids. I feel like the older my kids get, the quicker the time flies.

This past weekend, I found myself among mountains of paperwork. Not my own, but my kids. I wish I could say it was just limited to art "projects," but there are journals, weekend updates, letters and science tests. Some I want to save and some I have no idea whether I should save or not. One of the side effects with Baby Bunching is all your kids' stuff comes in bunches as well.

We're into second grade with my oldest so I figure this is only the beginning, but since we're living in a small house, we need to find a way to get this in check sooner rather than later. There are probably lots of solutions out there--binders, crates, filing, bins, drawers--but I need one that involves very little effort on my part since I have very little extra time and very little space.  I found this fabulous idea through one of my mom's online groups from iHeart Organizing, and I'm proud to say I managed to get it all organized in one afternoon.

Supplies:

1 crate/large document box per kid

13 (or more if you want to include preschool) hanging folders + same number of file folders

Jen from iHeart Organizing's cute downloads for labels and cover sheets

Photo of your child for each year

And happily, that is is all you need. I hit the Container Store and picked up two clear crates as I find if I can see what's inside I do better and colorful file folders (green for my son and turquoise for my daughter). The kids had a great time looking through all their old papers, report cards and letters from the past few years. Best of all, I am relieved to have a place for everything now.

How do you organize all your kids' school work?

back to school: the wee ones

Last week I happily sent my Bunch off to school (first and second grade) with not a tear. While I did miss them both around lunch--when I was able to sit and peacefully eat my lunch for the first time in 3 months--I knew they were enjoying themselves in their new environments.

This week I had fun reading all the Facebook updates from friends around the country who were dropping off their preschool kids for their first days of school. Now that can be both an exciting and anxious day for all.

Beginning preschool is a big deal. We're guessing it's a bigger deal for you than for your child. Preschool is so many things for both you and your child. It may mean extra time for you to run around like crazy getting errands done kid free. (Hey, don't blow this off it's worth every penny of preschool tuition to grocery shopin peace.) It may be time for you to spend doing things you love--working out, working, crafting, cooking, etc. It could mean an opportunity for Big Baby to get a little time to socialize without you around. It's amazing the things they do when mom isn't hovering. It may mean time for you to be just with Little Baby and finally take that baby Gymboree class.

Preschool is also launches the next 18 + school years of your child's life. Your whole year will now operate on a school schedule. You will slowly be sucked into all the school politics. And you will soon learn that it really is all about the teacher....more than the school. You will even learn that as smart as you thought your kid was, there are probably four others just as smart.

In preparation for this new year, we'd like to offer up a little bit of advice for all you preschool novices--especially those who may be sending two kids this year.

Orientation/First Day of School. Now we know it's not practical to think that you can do this solo with your kid every year, but if you have ANY chance at getting 1:1 time with your preschooler at orientation/first day.....please, please take it. What are we saying here? TRY not to take younger siblings with you to orientation or the first day of school. We have both done these events with younger siblings because there's often no way around it, but even if you could get a friend to take your younger child right outside the door of the school while you get the older one settled it will really make a difference.

Potty training, anyone? Most schools require kids to be potty trained for the three-year old programs. Ok, here is the secret. They are ready to deal with accidents so if your kid isn't quite there, don't be afraid to send him anyway. I had one friend who sent her halfway potty-trained daughter to school on the first day and lied about how "trained" she was. She had accidents for two of the days and by the third the other half was done. Peer pressure is a powerful tool! Nothing sucks worse than a few days of peeing on yourself in front of other potential friends. If your child is almost there, send A LOTof extra undies and keep your fingers crossed.

Car line. Many part-time preschools have car/carpool lines. I'm pretty sure this invention was designed by a Baby Buncher. Car pool line is fabulous. Drive up. Kiss kid goodbye. Teacher helps him into building. Perfect. The downside to this is you may never get to see the inside of the classroom, get face time with the teacher or see your kid in action. Try to find a way (about once a month) to actually walk him/her into school. This excites your kid, gives you a better feel for the class and lets the teacher know you're interested.

Make your own preschool friends. Preschool is not just a chance for your kids to make friends, but for you as well. Cara and I have both made some wonderful friends through preschool. Cara even ended up joining the church that houses her preschool. Why is this important? Well, when the teacher asks for volunteers and you feel obliged to help with the Halloween party, you might need another mom to watch Little Baby while you parade around the hallways with your 3-year old.

However, don't feel pressured to get involved. You have many, many, many years left of school to get involved. Baby Bunchers already juggle way too much, literally, in the early days. I cannot stress this enough...don't let schools push you into volunteering. It always takes more time than they say and with kids close in age, it's often hard to be a room parent, make a ton of phone calls, organize a food drive or plan a yard sale. Let someone else do it. Yes, it's OK to be the slacker.

Get the class roster and calendar. Ask your preschooler about his day, and he'll tell you they had snack. If you're lucky, maybe you'll find out they went outside. They tend to not be a chatty bunch beyond recess and snack. Get a class roster from the teacher and start asking about the names on there. Same with the calendar. The more you know about about what they are supposed to be doing and who's in the class the more you can cajole them that the highlight really wasn't apple juice and goldfish.

Happy New School Year!

adding some structure to your summer fun

 
Summer has been in full swing at Cara's house for a few weeks now, and Linda's starts this week!  If your kids are in preschool or school, the start of summer marks a (usually welcome) change in the routine.  But even if they aren't, somehow summer implies permission to take things a little slower - put your feet up with a cool drink, blow off cooking dinner in favor of sandwiches and salads, hit the pool, or just watch the kiddos run through the sprinkler.  

Having said that, y'all know that Bunches of all ages do better when they have A) structure and routine and B) things to do!  A little bit of freedom is good, but a too much of a good thing will be your undoing, we promise!

To that end, at the Fox household we kicked summer off with a two-pronged approach to structure.  One is a daily/weekly schedule that lays out things like who's at camp, when we have swim team practice, playdates, etc.  Although we're flexible on scheduling, we try to stick to a routine that involves swim practice/swimming the am when it's cooler, lunch, quiet time while the baby naps, and then playdates/indoor arts and craft, library, children's museum, or a little tv/computer in the blazing hot afternoon hours.  Bedtime is a little later than normal, but generally speaking we are *trying* to stick to some sort of regular routine and keep structure in our day.

The other (much more fun) thing we did was come up with our Fox Family 2011 Summer Fun list.  These are all the things we want to do this summer!  On weekdays or weekends when we've got a gap in the schedule, we consult the list and pick something to do!  I wish I could take credit for this brilliant idea, but I totally stole it from a Baby Bunching friend and it works like a charm - AND works with kids/families of all ages.  So get out your calendar and list-making materials and schedule yourself some FUN over the next few months.  Happy summer!

a monster birthday party

It's birthday season, and we're always asked how to plan a birthday party for your Bunch. If you kids share a birthday month, it means they are either 1 or 2 years apart, right? And it would seem when the kids are little, you could knock both parties out in one fell swoop.

I smiled this morning when I ran across the fantastic party idea on my favorite party site Hip Hip Hooray. But when I popped over to Nounces Design where the idea originated from, I giggled because the concept is genius for Baby Bunchers and even better, Jennifer's planned the whole party for you complete with all her own Printable Monster Party Collection, which barely require you to leave the house to find all the invitations and thanks yous. Even better!

Think of all the possibilities with this them.

(Photo courtesy of Nounces Design.)

Q/A: baby gear essentials: avoiding big gear in a small house

Today's Q/A comes from Beth on our Facebook page.

Q:  My husband and I are adopting three boys, a 3-year old and two 18-month old twins.  We are currently childless so this is a HUGE new adventure for us.  Any suggestions on what you've done that works well?  I would also appreciate knowing what doesn't work.  I would also be interested in knowing what type of baby gear works best in a small house with lots of kids.

A:  First of all, WOW and congrats!  Nothing we can tell you is going to prepare you for how much your world will be rocked - and how much you will absolutely love it!  The blog and the Facebook pages are chock-full of do's and don'ts from seasoned Bunchers, so it's worth taking the time to scroll back through the years and load up on information.

To skip ahead to part 3 of your question, you're actually in luck.  Seven years and multiple children into parenting in *very* small houses (Cara holds the record currently, with three children and 1,400 square feet), we can both say that we know quite a bit about parenting in limited space.  The good news is that with your youngest boys being 18-months old, you can bypass some of the stuff we are tempted to get with newborns and infants (swings, Jumperoos, high chairs, etc.).  

In lieu of highchairs, get booster seats strapped onto regular old dining room chairs.  There are any number of hard plastic boosters with trays and straps that are portable and travel to restaurants, Grandma's, etc. easily (your wee ones are probably old enough to even do away with the the tray and pull right up to the table).  For bigger kids, we love soft boosters.   This will allow your oldest to climb up and down independently without you having to strap in/out while your hands are full with the little ones.  

For a bunch of kids this size, a "nice to have" if you have a little corner is a children's table and chairs - both for eating as well as for arts and crafts.  My all-time FAVORITE is Ikea's Mammut line.  Hideously colorful? Yes.  But oh, so convenient.  Lightweight and easy to move/pack/store away when grown ups come for dinner.  Waterproof so you can hose it down in the backyard.  Compact so you can throw it in the back of your van and take it to a friend's house when extra seating for children is needed.   These must be the reasons that everyone we know has this set.

As a fellow mom of all boys, I can tell you that our train table gets major mileage.  But for other families it might be a workbench or a play kitchen.  Depending on your space/configuration, consider limiting them to one "big" toy (or if they MUST have several, buy them secondhand so you don't care if they get weatherized and toss them in the backyard so the kids can play there).

The most important piece of big equipment you need, HANDS DOWN, is a stroller.  With this many small boys running in different directions, you need a way to keep them tethered down on occasion, for their own safety.  We're thinking your best bet is the Joovy Big Caboose (a Sit-and-Stand with double seats and a standing board).  We *think* that this may be superior to the Double Graco Sit-N-Stand, which we're not sure can accommodate two kids sitting AND one standing.  Readers, please chime in if you know.  Biggest cons to these strollers are they're bulky (need a good-sized trunk) and can be heavy/unwieldy at times, but it is SO WORTH IT to know that you can have everyone strapped down at once, should the occasion/need arise.  

And, of course, the cribs.  You are right on the borderline of being able to bypass cribs if you don't have them already.  A fully baby-proofed room with regular beds and a gate across the door that keeps them from wandering the house could possibly do the trick.  However, if they are used to sleeping in cribs, you may want to keep them in cribs since they are already making a big transition to a new home - I would feel that out with the current caregiver.  Skip the changing table altogether (18 months is right around the age where you have to start wrestling them to the ground to change diapers, anyway).

What have we missed, readers?  

teaching the three Rs: outings

When we first began writing the book (oh, we'll let you know how that's going at some point), we developed a quick and easy framework for planning (and getting through) just about anything. We call it the Baby Bunching Framework for Success or the Three Rs.

1) Review the situation at hand, whether it’s an eating, sleeping, or playtime need. Take a quick assessment of who has the most dire need, available gear and/or supplies, and possible escape plans.  Don’t forget to take into consideration your kids’ temperaments at that moment (who is exhausted and beyond reasoning, who could be pacified the quickest, who is generally more easygoing, etc.)  This is your research/information gathering step, and you will use it to develop your plan of attack.  We’ll cover issues to consider when conducting your assessment in each of these situations and more.

2) Routine. Establish one and refer to it.There is a reason preschools and daycares function on strict schedules (more on how you can use this to your advantage later) – kids of all ages thrive on routine and structure.  We’ll teach you tricks for identifying natural patterns and routines which emerge and also how to tweak them once they’re established. 

3) Reassess. Just when you have it down and life is going great, we promise something will change (growth spurts, potty training, illness, dropping naps, outgrowing the baby carrier, you get the idea).  What worked yesterday may not work tomorrow, so don’t get locked into thinking the way it is today is the way it has to stay.  We’ll teach you how to recognize these changes, respond and adapt accordingly.

Here's how you use it for a sample outing with your Bunch. We thought this would be a great one to start with since we talking about outings yesterday.  

SITUATION: You’re out of diapers and you need a gift for a birthday party tomorrow, and your husband is out of town.  You have no choice – you have got to take your Bunch on the errand. Target seems like the most logical place where you can get diapers, the gift and probably milk.  

Review:  Everyone has been fed, watered, and napped, but you still pack a snack for distraction purposes.  You always keep the double stroller and the sling in you’re trunk.  Load everyone up and you’re off!

Routine: When you go to Target, you usually put the baby in the sling and your toddler in the cart, but baby is getting too big for the sling.  He isn’t quite big enough for the two-seater cart.  On the way, you ended up having to stop for gas, and while you were there, thought you’d get the car washed since it is covered in so much dirt you can barely see out windows.  You’ve arrived at Target, but you’re now behind schedule and running dangerously close to the next scheduled nap.

Reasses:  Since baby is a bit too big for the sling and not big enough for the cart, you’re gonna have to bust out the double stroller for this trip, which sucks because you can’t fit a lot of stuff in the cargo bin.  Doesn’t really matter anyway, because you’re racing against the clock – you used precious “happy time” at the car wash and you’re on borrowed time now.  Load both kids in the double stroller and immediately head for diapers.  Toddler is already complaining as you head there, so slide him a few animal crackers.  Baby starts to fuss (you’re coming up on a feeding), so pick a QUICK toy for the birthday gift – no time to stress over the perfect gift.  Proceed immediately for the checkout and don’t forget a gift receipt in case your quick toy selection sucks.  When you get to the car, load everyone up, slide toddler a few more animal  crackers and nurse baby in the parking lot. No sense listening to baby scream all the way home, and if he is quiet, toddler may sack out in his seat and you can just carry him to his bed when you get home.  Sure, you’ve got “undone” items on your Target list, but you have the critical ones, along with a baby now with a full tummy and possibly a sleeping toddler. 

Successful outing - mission accomplished.

traveling with your bunch: the epic journey

By Rachel Ostlie

My family recently returned from what we deemed our “Tour de Latinoamerica,” a marathon vacation to four cities in three countries, involving a total of ten flights. Both my husband and I grew up in South America, and our parents still live there (though in different places than where spent our childhood) so we wanted to visit all the places and people dear to us. Plus, this was our first chance to show off our adorable blonde bunch!

Long car trips or flights are nothing new to us, but international travel with children was a whole new animal. One unforeseen hassle ended up being our 22-month-old lap “infant,” whom we have never paid a cent for in North America, was charged anywhere from 10-25% of the full fare on most international carriers. What really made it an issue (apart from forking out more money) was the fact that we purchased our tickets online, and when we found out about various airline's policies, it was impossible to purchase an infant “ticket” without purchasing an adult fare simultaneously. This meant my husband had to figure out the status of our youngest at each check-in, while I desperately threw fruit strips, stickers, and lollipops at the kids to keep them happy during the wait.

You can view the above as Baby Bunching Epic Travel Tip #1) Know the airline's rules about infant travel.Here is some more knowledge gleaned from our month of travel, and I'd love to hear any more that those with multi-stamped passports have to add!

2) Be flexible – Of course this tip is a given, but it is SO TRUE. Flexibility when you are not in your own home, let alone your own country, is a must. Prior to this trip, I was concerned what all our “schedule-is-out-the-window” and “take-life-as-it-comes” would do to our toddlers, but I was pleasantly surprised. They were willing to take it all in stride, and our type-A firstborn had only one meltdown related to lack of schedule the entire trip.

3) Bring stability along – Temper the need to be flexible with the opportunities your family has for stability while traveling. Make sure to bring the kids' favorite toys and books, or even a picture of a beloved playmate. Try to establish some routines, even if you can't keep your normal ones. We started a daily habit every night before they went to bed: reading a Bible story to the kids, letting them color a related coloring page, giving them a sticker and a gummy vitamin, and singing the same songs, then brushing their teeth. Maybe for your bunch having the same thing for breakfast every morning would be nice, or keeping a strict naptime. No matter what, small points of stability can be found anywhere you go.

4) Be educational – Though the kids might not be going to their mommy-and-me classes, or may be skipping school days altogether, there is no reason not be educational on the trip. Take advantage of the new places and things you'll see. Our kids learned about sea lions and seaweed, farm animals and produce, and most of all, about airplanes. I printed out a few coloring sheets for each country we visited with the map, flag, and national flower or bird; older children might enjoy fact lists or worksheets. Of course everyone enjoys a good book to help them connect what they are learning to what they already know. Growing up in a big city where about thirteen stars are visible each night (per the Chicago Planetarium), an evening of stargazing in a remote desert was a huge deal for our three-year-old. It helped that we had read How Big Is A Million? by Anna Milbourne the weeks before, so she was excited to see a million stars.

5) Mooch off friends and family – The independent American in us is usually quite averse to anything that resembles charity, but if you have friends or family available on your trip, feel free to mooch off of them. Staying in a home is infinitely cheaper than staying in a hotel, and you might even gain some cultural experience for yourself and the kids. Having a family member show you the local spots could teach you a lot more than the Lonely Planet guidebook. Of course, relationships can bring hassle, and it's up to you to decide what living circumstance would be best for your family. But we found that for our family, the benefits outweighed the trouble.

6) Do your homework – If you are a do-it-yourselfer, or a travel nerd, then you might want to disregard the suggestion in number five. The last big trip my husband and I took was our “babymoon” to Morocco and Spain. We had friends in Morocco, but in Spain we were on our own. We brought along Lonely Planet guidebooks for both countries, asked a lot of advice from those who had traveled there before, and meticulously planned our trip. At the end of our four weeks in South America, I realized that I had missed a little bit of that independence, and a lot of the learning experience and socio-historical background. Next trip I'll remember to do my homework ahead of time.

Stay tuned for the next post, where we'll cover packing, bribes, and risks...
 
Rachel is a happily baby bunching mom of two, with another baby on the way. She has been either pregnant or breastfeeding for the entire past four years (minus one month).

reflections on reflux

Disclaimer: Please remember that we at Baby Bunching do not have medical degrees and we would never, ever suggest that you take our medical advice (especially that involving medication for your child) without the knowledge and support of your pediatrician.  So read the following advice...and then consult your doctor.

Recently, I had a park play date with a Baby Bunching friend whose youngest child (at 5 months old and CUTE as a button!) broke my heart because I think he may be struggling with reflux (gastroesophogal reflux disease, or GERD, in the medical world).  

I say *may* because I feel as though reflux is the mystery ailment of the baby world.  Linda is convinced that EVERY baby has reflux. This is a theory I would support, but for the fact that my eldest child was literally the happiest baby on the block.  After three children (and half a dozen pediatricians along the way), I'm convinced that even pediatricians don't know definitively.  If it looks like reflux and smells like reflux, they'll encourage you to give the reflux meds a try and see if it IS reflux.

My third baby was "diagnosed" with reflux after a particularly high-stress trip to urgent care over Labor Day weekend when he was a little over a month old.  My husband, who had had just about enough of the constant crying, laid down the law and insisted that there MUST be something wrong with the kid and it was inhumane to "wait and see" until regular doctor's hours on Monday morning.  With little reflux diagnostic technology on hand in urgent care on a Saturday night, the pediatrician on call suggested that we give the medicine a try.  I resisted the idea of medication at first, being the type of person that will walk around for 4 days with a  headache before taking an Advil, and I certainly didn't like the idea of a daily dose of anything for my newborn.  But the doctor insisted that the medication was so safe that it was used on preemies and that we should just give it a try and see if it worked.  

It worked.  Just a few hours later, we had an entirely different baby on our hands, and silence that was music to our ears - for the first time in a month.  

Although my mother had previously suggested the possibility of reflux, I poo-pooed the suggestion because the symptoms didn't "match."  Although the baby was fussy, he wasn't projectile vomiting (and in fact, barely spit up), slept in decent stretches, and was appropriately gaining weight.  He nursed ok (although not great, and did better from a bottle once I introduced it around the 3-week mark).  He was just fussy and fidgety every waking hour. It turns out that reflux has a stealth mode - otherwise known as "Silent Reflux" - that doesn't involve any projectile vomiting, but hurts just as much.  And while most babies grow out of it around the 6 to 9-month mark, it makes for a VERY long 6 to 9 months if not diagnosed and treated.  In addition to medication, we were under strict instructions to feed the baby sitting up (as opposed to reclining), leave him sitting up for 30 minutes after each feeding, and put his mattress at an incline.  As you can imagine, these instructions make for some tricky nursing acrobatics, but we made it work (although now I can barely remember how, in all honesty).

In retrospect, I believe that my Baby #2 had undiagnosed reflux.  To this day, I'm overwhelmed with guilt at the notion that not only was he in pain for months, but I let it mess up nursing.  After going dairy-free myself, and then finally moving through soy and the full range of "sensitive tummy" formulas, we finalIy settled on the uber-expensive Alimentum because it was the only thing his little tummy could tolerate.  With him (and his 18-month old older brother in tow), I was in a Baby Bunching haze, quite honestly.  He could've projectile vomited in my face 10 times a day and it probably wouldn't have raised a red flag.   When I stumbled upon a solution that "worked," I didn't question it - I just went with it. For these reasons, I am on a one-woman mission to save all of my mommy friends and their precious darlings from the hell that is reflux. If your baby fusses all the time or never seems "settled,"  consider this friendly advice to ask your doctor (or an objective friend, or a grandma) about the possibility of reflux.  

You can absolutely try going dairy-free, eliminating other gassy foods from your diet and sampling a variety of formulas, but it can take weeks for dairy to work its way out of your system and in the meantime your baby is fussing his way through the "wait and see" approach.  I will admit that I am normally a big proponent of "wait and see" parenting, believing that kids progress differently at different developmental stages and in their own time, and also that some conditions clear up on their own if left alone.  However, this is one situation where if your pediatrician agrees that your baby may be a candidate for reflux medication, it's worth taking a shot at seeing if it works - for your own sanity and the baby's!

baby bunching Q/A: getting back on track; staying on top of it all

Q:  As a Buncher of an 8-month old and a 21-month old, the level of control and organization needed in our household to survive each day is comparable to that of the military. But what do you do when you feel it all falling apart? I feel like I'm behind with everything in the house so don't know where to start, the youngest is teething and the oldest is showing signs of needing to potty train. How do you take stock of it all and get yourself back on track - any advice?

A:  As we all know, Baby Bunching at its best is a finely oiled machine (even thought it may appear to the average outsider as sheer chaos).  This requires a Buncher to bring her A-game every day and there is ZERO margin for error.  In order for my household to run smoothly, each day must include children napping on schedule, at least one (sometimes two) loads of laundry, at least one dishwasher cycle, and a clean sweep of the kitchen and toys in the living room.  At a minimum!  And that's before I even factor in the job I get paid to do.

Heaven forbid you should deicide to spend one naptime hour simply watching General Hospital instead of folding the day's laundry while doing so - you will feel the tidal wave of housework begin to creep up on you.  If, by chance, a child gets sick, there is an out-of-town house guest that generates an extra load of sheets and towels or requires a home-cooked meal, or the family decides to go on vacation (usually defined for mom and dad as taking some time off work so that they can Baby Bunch in a different location), all bets are off and you will find yourself consumed by mess.  Or even worse case scenario - if you yourself get sick, forget it.  You may as well lay there and die because by the time you come back to reality your house will be unrecognizable.

The only thing you can plan on for sure is that one of these things WILL happen to you.  The good news is that you can also pretty much assure that eventually, you will get your footing back.  Here's a few suggestions for how to get started regaining control:

• Settle the kiddos.  If everything's gone to hell in a hand-basket, cut yourself some slack and give yourself permission to do whatever you need to do to get the kids settled long enough to think for a few minutes. Don't be afraid to pull out the big guns:  Elmo DVD's, fruit snacks, maybe even a juick box or a cookie, or even a new toy you've been saving for the next birthday.  Find something that will keep both kids occupied for a bit.
• Clear a spot.  The next thing you need to do is get control over ONE (don't get carried away and start doing multiple rooms) room or even area in your house.  Start with a clean kitchen/counter or a tidied dining room/table, or even a straightened living room/desk.  Find one area where you can clear the physical clutter enough to feel like you can clear your mind.
• Brain dump.  I am a huge pen-and-paper list maker.  For those of you techno junkies, there are also apps that you can use.  I like to make categories - mine are usually: House (chores, fix-it projects, yard stuff, etc.), Home To Do (things like bill paying, Goodwill drop-offs, make Dr. appointments, put away hand-me-downs, etc, and Work To Do (I work part-time in theory, and frequently from home, so my to-do lists are always getting intermingled).  The point here is to make a list of every item you can think of that is hanging over your head that needs to be done.  This way you have a master working to-do list.  Keep in mind that if it took you a week to get behind, it may take you a week to catch up - that's ok.
• Outsource.  Quickly (italicized because it is the operative word in this sentence) go through the list and see if there is anything you can get someone else to do - your husband, a friend, a babysitter/house cleaner, etc.  Zip the person an email right then, if possible, and ask them if they can do it.  Then it's (at least temporarily) on their to do list.
• Prioritize. Get a weekly calendar.  Pick the top FIVE (no more than five, b/c you know even that's ambitious) things that need to be tackled THAT DAY ONLY.  This way, you know in the morning what your daily goals are.  As soon as the kids go down to nap or bed, you can tackle those items instead of running around like a chicken with your head cut off feeling that there is so much to do you don't even know where to start.
• Call in reinforcements.  This is a biggie.  Have the hubs, a grandparent, a neighbor, a babysitter - anyone who will say yes - take the kids for just two hours so that you can run around and make as much progress on that to-do list as possible.  If it's your husband, we recommend that you push for four hours/a half day.  After all, the predicament you're in is half his fault.  You will be amazed at how much progress you can make without your little assistants in tow!
• Check off.  When you complete an item, don't forget to check it off.  We all derive satisfaction from that little positive reinforcement of progress.  It'll keep you motivated. 

I try to use this system on a weekly basis and try to make Sunday night as my "take stock" night to prioritize and get geared up for the week.  My mother-in-law even got me a nifty personalized notepad where I jot my daily priority items for the week, but a plain old calendar will do too.  No, it doesn't always happen every Sunday, but it always happens post-crisis and gets me back on track every time.