Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

baby bunching Q/A: taking 4 under 4 to the store

We received our hardest question on our Facebook page this morning from Baby Buncher Jessica. We're asking our readers to help and hoping collectively as a community we can give her some ideas.

Q: It is so tough with three under three, how do I take a 4-,3- and 1-year old + newborn to the grocery store in a single shopping cart?

A: Our first reaction to this is don't take them all at the same time. But we know there are times when everyone will have to be corralled into the store and you will endure all kinds of funny looks and smart remarks from fellow shoppers.

Our recommendation is to realize you probably won't be able to do your big weekly shopping trips with all the kids in tow. Our friend Tanya whose kids are now 6, 4-year old twins and 2 provided some input on the question. She says that even now, trips with all four were quick ones with bagged snacks as bribes.

Since we're unfamiliar with where you live and the stores you have available, we think it would be worth quickly picking out the stores with the best carts for suited for your current needs. (Note: These needs will constantly change.) For example, Harris Teeter has carts with two 5-point harnesses (perfect for the older kids), but it also has a baby seat so three of your kids can be together. You'll have the wear the fourth one. It will probably be tricky getting everyone into the cart wearing the baby so this may take some practice. You could also have the younger three in the seats and give your four-year old some responsibility to help you shop. This might be the easier option. Target, Costco and a few others are known for their kid-friendly shopping carts. (Hopefully, readers will share some more.)

But many stores now have carts intended to seat two. Put two up front and put two in the cart. Pile food around them. Yes, be careful about who goes back there. That too may change. Tanya suggests that as the oldest one grows making him/her the "line leader" and give that child responsibility to even watch the next in line who could be instructed to hold on to the cart. A product like the tag*a*long may help you keep one kid at your side "attached" the cart. Always bring snacks or treats in case you need it.

Also consider forgoing the cart completely and bring a double stroller, have your four-year old walk and wear the baby. Whatever you fit in the stroller is what you buy.

And if all this makes you crazy....you might look into Peapod, grocery store pick up (Harris Teeter offers this) or buying your groceries online until someone starts kindergarten.

Along these lines...perhaps some of these posts will make you smile:

Raising Country Kids: Two Kids in a Grocery Cart

Blonde Mom Blog: Hell on Wheels

We can't wait to hear some other options!

(Check back next Wednesday for a question on buying a mini van . . . )

baby bunching Q/A: stroller for three under three

We received this question from Baby Buncher Aurora.

Q:  I have two boys 14 months apart and am due this June with baby #3. My oldest will be 2 1/2 years old and youngest will be 16 months. I'm trying to find information on a stroller for all three kids.

A: Actually there are a few options. The Joovy Big Caboose will actually "sit" two kids (including an infant car seat) while your oldest sits/stands on the back. I think it depends on what you're doing with the stroller, but this might be your least expensive option. Your 2 1/2 year-old probably will have about another six months where he/she will actually regularly sit in the stroller, but it's always nice to have an option to strap them in if you need to.

The Valco Runabout Twin has a toddler seat which attaches on the front of the double stroller to fit three children onto one. I know many people who used this stroller. It's a heavy one, but very maneuverable for the mall, trails, etc. The storage space isn't the best, but it could be a good stroller to fit all three kids until the older one decides he/she's done with the stroller. Then you just pop the toddler seat off.

I know we have lots of readers with three under three so please chime in with your stroller recommendations or configurations.

baby bunching Q/A: advanced buncher status

We received a question from Baby Buncher Jenny P. We're going to answer it the best we can, but we'd would like to call on any of you out there who might fit in this category to help us out.

Q: I've been wondering if any of your readers have achieved Advanced Buncher status (i.e. 3 under 3, or 4 under 4, etc.)?  My husband and I are actually contemplating number 3 [Note: she has a 3 month old and 17 month old], but I'm wondering if we're just totally insane.  Though, I must say that 2 under 2 (while a challenge) hasn't been that bad and often actually fun.

A (from Linda): Give it some time before you make the irreversible decision of adding to your family. While the first few months of 'two under two' are extremely difficult with two little 'twiblings' still in diapers and not sleeping well, the crucial thing to point out, which might make it seem easy, is that one child is still not going anywhere.I really felt the most difficult part was when the second one became mobile. Having one strapped into something at all times and they other one still somewhat agreeable to being strapped in was a whole different ballgame to two toddlers going in opposite directions.

My biggest guilt trip with my bunch has always been the time I didn't have alone with my oldest. Kids who are two and a half and three years apart have some nice quality time with mom before the second baby comes around. When kids are 16 months apart (like my kids are), there was never very much time just with mom when I was pregnant or dealing with a younger child. Now that my kids are older (4 1/2 and 3), I am able to recreate some 1:1 time with each of them, but I can never get back the baby/toddler years that I missed out on by simply trying to survive.

Back to your question about having three under three, I think a lot has to do with your own personality. I know many moms who go this route and while it's tough in the beginning, in the end they say it's the same payoff as having two under two.

A (from Cara):  As a pseudo-advanced Baby Buncher (3 under 5), I think it depends on your situation. Totally agree with Linda that there is a "honeymoon period" before your youngest gets mobile where you don't realize how tough things are gonna get.  I often tell people who are considering Baby Bunching that if they really want to do it, they should get pregnant before the baby is 8/9/10 months old or crawling.  Because I know that had I not already been pregnant when my oldest started crawling, I probably would have waited until he was about 3 to get pregnant again.  Now, having said that, if the reasons that you want to Bunch include advanced maternal age, a need to Bunch for career purposes (condensing the time you take off), or just really generally wanting your siblings close in age, and you think that Baby Bunching is a fit for your family (take into account your children's temperaments) and your personality then go for it.  A friend of mine who had 3 under 3 said that she wouldn't recommend it for every person or family, but it was right for her family.  She added that while yes, things were crazy in her life, she knew that it was a brief blip of time in the grand scheme of things and it wouldn't always be that way.  In terms of can you manage it?  I always say that you will be able to do whatever comes your way.  Because really, are you just gonna wake up one day and say, "Hmm.  Sorry.  I just can't parent my 3 under 3 today."  Just don't make the decision lightly, because it is one of the few decisions in life that you can't undo.