Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

baby bunching Q/A: working out

We received this question from Amy.

Q: How do moms get their workout in? I have three under three and have to get super creative, but we've been successful for 8 weeks now.

A: Amy, first of all congratulations for being successful for 8 weeks. That is a great start and one that will keep you going. Because as you probably know, the more you workout, the more you feel the need to workout.

Fitting in a workout with two or three little kids can be a challenge. There are as many excuses to not workout as their are reasons to get there in the first place. As a lover of working up a good sweat, I can tell you it's hard to get back after a baby. Cut yourself some slack in the early days. I had one trainer tell me that 6 months is when most moms start returning to the gym. That's when they feel both physically and mentally ready to start working out again. If one of your kids is still an infant, walking (and pushing a heavy double stroller) may be your best option until you feel motivated. Because motivation is 99% of working out.

But here are a few tips to fitting in a workout.

1) Find a gym with childcare. There are many benefits beyond just a line of treadmill that you can get from a gym. Most gym child care centers give you two hours to work out. I know moms (including myself) who bring their laptop to the gym after a work out and follow up on emails, take care of some business or return phone calls. This is a perfect way to get a few minutes to yourself and maybe even have a cup of coffee. I've even seen moms nursing babes in the locker room for some uninterrupted feeding time. Don't be put off by gym costs. If you actually go, it's worth it for babysitting, for your health and a long life of good habits. It can be an investment in your well-being. (Note: you'd be suprised how much room there is for bargaining on fees.)

2) Get a friend to join. All you need is one other person at the gym with you. If you make regular "gym dates" with a girlfriend, you're less likely to find an excuse to bail. It's even better if she has kids close in age to yours because then your kids get a play date out of the deal as well.

3) Get a trainer for a few sessions. I did this last fall and it's amazing what it did for my workouts. I only paid for 4 sessions. My workouts had become stale and boring, and she was able to offer me advice (and a routine) for getting in a thorough workout in 45 minutes (weights and cardio!). It provided me new energy for working out and a reason to go because I could do it in less than an hour.  

4) If you're motivated to workout at home, get a few good workout DVDs and let your kids work out with you. (I have never been able to make this successful, but know many people can do this.) Heck invite a friend over for this, too, so you can do it together. It might keep you from stopping to unload the dryer.

5) Walk. You'd be surprised how much walking can do for you. it's a lot easier than loading kids in the car sometimes, load everyone into strollers, wagons, scooters or other appropriate means of transportation and walk more places. You'll save on gas too.

6) Bike. Get a bike trailer and take the kids for a very long bike ride. Even if they are arguing you won't hear it.

7) Sign up for a 5K. If you're a beginner, a 5K is a good motivation for working out. Decide you will run the 3+ miles and do it. Running just 15-20 minutes a few times a week is a good way to give you a realistic goal. Chances are by then you'll decide you love the benefits to working out.  

Don't set unrealistic goals. If there is no way you will work out at home, don't go buy a treadmill thinking you will. If you are not a morning person, don't expect to be out for a run at 6:30 a.m. No one expects you to train for a marathon with little kids. The best advice we can give is to have a friend do this with you if you're not internally motivated to sweat. It's more fun and it makes you accountable.

Get out there and get in shape girl!

power to the ϋber baby bunchers

We have many readers and contributors on this site who have been given the distinction of "advanced buncher status." Basically, if you've gone on to procreate after your first Bunch, and then subsequently Bunch again....we consider you advanced. Brave. Dedicated. Heroic.

And I'm not quite sure why I'm amazed by celebrities that achieve this status because they have the money and the resources to do things like: send someone else to the grocery store, have someone else make the dinner or hire a cleaning staff. (Is there a pattern here? Do we just need more people to make this thing work?) But Baby Bunching is on the rise and more and more celebrities are joining the ranks--advanced or not: Heidi Klum, Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Britney Spears and Denise Richards.

So congrats Stella McCartney on baby #4 (that's now four in 5 years). At least we know they will all be donning the cutest kid clothes around while she's managing her Bunch.  Feel free to jump in over there and comment with the blog trolls about the baby names because it is entertaining.

Thoughts on advanced celebrity Baby Bunchers? Are they the same as the rest of us?

name your favorite baby carrier

One of the challenges to Baby Bunching is always transportation--by car, stroller or foot. Usually we talk strollers here, but we've had several requests to put together a Baby Carrier Guide similar to our Double Stroller Guide.

But this time we need a little help from our friends. Back when we had our first two, our options for toting our babes were A) sling B) Baby Bjorn and C) cheap knock off of Baby Bjorn. Fortunately, for those Bunchers today, the selection for carriers is nearing that of double strollers. So we wanted to lend a hand on things to consider when choosing your carrier.

We're been taking a mini poll over on our Facebook page. (Please feel free to join in.) But you can leave a comment here or email us directly with your favs. We'll do the research on all the products available and report back on pros/cons and pricing. So what will it be? Ergo, Moby, Baby Hawk, Beco? Let us know.

7 myths i believed before my bunch

By Sharon M.

Myth  #1: “I’ll never let my kids watch too much TV”

The reality: There are some days when they watch more TV than they should because I find that I can actually get things done around the house when they are preoccupied.

Myth #2: “I’ll supervise my kids every minute of the day so they don’t end up like the kids on America’s Funniest Videos with pads stuck all over their body or food covering every inch of their skin from raiding the pantry”

The reality: I can’t possibly keep my eyes on a mobile child every minute of the day while I am feeding the baby!  Thus, I have been subjected to crayon-writing on the furniture and pantry-raiding by my 2-year-old.

Myth #3: “I’ll be a cool mom with trendy hair, make-up and clothes.”

The reality: At this point, I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair every morning, let alone put on make-up!  My morning sometimes starts with a treasure hunt to even FIND my hairbrush!!  I buy a new shirt maybe once or twice a year…as a gift for myself for Mother’s Day and Christmas.

Myth #4: “My kids won’t have dirty clothes or faces when I take them out for trips.”

The reality: I have no idea where they even find some of the stuff that makes their clothes and faces messy!  All I know is that I put them in their car seat clean and somehow they come out dirty.  I always find myself looking at them in the grocery store and thinking, "Where are the wipes when you need them???"  Spit and an old tissue don't clean quite as nicely as you'd expect.

Myth #5: “I will teach my kids to be well-behaved so they will never throw a temper-tantrum in public.”

The reality: There is no reasoning with a 2-year-old.  They behave badly when you least expect it!

Myth #6: “I will never drive a mini-van.”

The reality: A standard vehicle does not fit 3 car seats comfortably.  Plus the kids have a tendency to hit each other when they are too close together.  You essentially need 2 backseat rows to ride comfortably with 3 or more children

Myth #7: “I can’t possibly give enough love and individual attention to each child when there are two under the age of 2.”

The reality: There is plenty of love and time for every child.  You make it work no matter what because you love them like the precious gifts they are!

Sharon M. (mother of a bunch of 4) www.TheHeartDiseaseGuide.com

crafting with kids: rising to the challenge

By Elise, Inspiration Surrounds, Creativity Abounds

For me the most difficult thing about crafting with a three-year old, a one-year old and often a newborn strapped to the front of me, is . . . depending on the day a number of things could be inserted here, but for now I am going with . . . coming up with ideas to keep our one-year old, Blake, engaged for more than three minutes. So far, I have hit upon a few old faithfuls that do keep Blakie happy and busy - a winning combination in my book.

While Blake does enjoy painting and making his own collages, he often loses interest a lot sooner than Savvy (which is to be expected given his age), so these are some of the things I have on hand and usually buy us more time. Also, I find that when Blake has a little "break" from painting he will often come back to it and ask for some more paint.

When we are painting I have a container full of different materials (often household items) that can be used to paint with, items such as string, sponge pieces, bubble wrap etc. I find that this variety keeps him engaged a little longer.

Our dot stampers are very popular at the moment. Once Blake has finished stamping with them he likes trying to take the lids off and on. We also go through lots of dot stickers around here! He can peel them off the paper himself and apply them. I try to mix it up when it comes to using the dot stampers and applying the stickers. Sometimes he may use the stickers on plastic lids and containers, other times he may use the stampers and stickers on a paper towel tube or cupcake wrappers. On other occasions, I will wrap up a box in foil and he will put stickers on that. Often we can use these bits and pieces in a future craft project

What works best is coming up with ways to differentiate an activity. For example, if Savvy is making a collage (she likes to use lots of glue) I often give Blakie a sheet of contact paper and he will happily select different textured materials to stick onto his contact paper.

Elise is a Baby Buncher of three beautiful babies in Australia. As a former secondary school teacher and now SAHM, she writes a blog called Inspiration Surrounds, Creativity Abounds, where she writes about what inspires her with play, arts and crafts. For more on this topic, check out her site.

** This post has been reprinted with her permission.

yes, i have 4 kids under 5; no, i'm not crazy

By  Sharon M.

“Oh my!  You certainly have your hands full!”  a nice, elderly lady exclaims as I walk through the grocery store with my kids in tow.  My 4-year old daughter and 3-year old son are walking alongside the grocery cart touching everything on the shelf that catches their eye.  My 2 -year old whines from the baby seat of the cart, frustrated that he is not allowed to run around free like his siblings.  My newest addition is only 2 weeks old and is sleeping peacefully against my chest in the Snugli.

Everywhere I go with my 4 children, people tend to make comments about our “large” family.  At the very least, people always give us a second glance even when they do manage to hold back their comments of shock and amazement.  Apparently it is an uncommon sight in this modern world of dual-income families with 1.86 children.

Honestly, I have become accustomed to the stares and comments that inevitably follow my family wherever we go.  At times though I am puzzled by the very personal questions that accompany people's reactions.  The most common embarrassing question all around goes something like this, “You do know how babies are made right?”  The question is asked with a nervous laugh as though they are unsure if my response might actually lead to a discussion of how conception occurs.  Another common question is, “Are you planning to have more?!!”  This understandably makes me hesitate because a discussion of having more kids should be between a husband and wife...not a group of strangers! 

You might think that the majority of comments and questions would be directed towards me as the mother since my husband avoids going out with the children at all costs. And yet my husband is harassed quite a bit at work when he is asked about his family.  My poor spouse has gotten the most intrusive question of, “When are you going to get snipped?!!” on multiple occasions from people he barely knows.  

I understand that most of these inquisitive bystanders are completely unaware of the problems with their comments and questions.  They are truly just surprised to see a large family and they cannot help their knee-jerk reaction of saying exactly what is on their mind!  I have fallen victim to this speak-before-you-think reaction many times myself.  Even just recently I was surprised to find out that the principal of my daughter's school has 9 children.  I remember exclaiming, “Wow!” and later wishing I had given a less dumbfounded response.

Once strangers get over their initial surprise to our big family, they do tend to ask more in depth questions.  They want to know why we have chosen to reproduce beyond the standard 2 children.  I have a few different responses to this depending on my mood and the setting in which the question is asked.  If I feel comfortable enough to share my personal story with the person, I might tell them about how my first pregnancy was a miscarriage and that event led me to feel blessed for every pregnancy thereafter.  Or I might tell them about how baby number 3 was a complete surprise since I was breastfeeding my second baby and never even had a period before I was pregnant again.  If I am feeling uncomfortable, I might just give a quick, comical reply suggesting that I don't really know where these kids keep coming from!

In addition to the innocent, sometimes thoughtless remarks from bystanders, I have also been subjected to some very strong and purposeful criticism.  Much of this criticism has come from my own family.  My father has “recommended” that I get my tubes tied the next time I have a baby.  My father's cousin also challenged my decision to have a fourth child by saying, “Don't you feel like that is unfair to the children?  Don't you already have a hard time giving each of them the individual attention they need?”  Even my gynecologist (who has 4 children of his own!) gave me a lecture about limiting my family size.  He finished off my annual pap smear with, “Well, just keep breastfeeding so you hopefully will keep from getting pregnant again anytime soon.”  

Most of my older family members truly believe that I will go insane any day now.  They shake their heads at me and say over and over, “I don't know how you do it!  It's too much for one person.”  I will be the first to admit that it is not an easy task raising 4 kids under the age of 5.  There are challenges to maintaining my sanity every single day!  When the pizza has fallen on the floor, the kids are crying because “he hit me!” and there is a mysterious brown substance on the floor that everyone has stepped in...I feel like I should throw in the towel.  Dinner is usually the worst time of the day.  The kids are tired, cranky and unwilling to eat anything that resembles a healthy meal. 

Despite the craziness of having a multitude of kids under one roof, I have no regrets.  My husband and I are not perfect parents by any means but we believe we are providing a good life for our children.  We are healthy, well-educated and blessed with economic stability.  I left a well-paying job to be a stay-at-home mom.  I have worked very hard to devote myself to my family and make certain they do not feel neglected.  On the other hand, I dread the idea of having a rowdy, undisciplined group of kids so I do not hesitate to discipline when necessary.  Overall though, my kids are well-behaved compared to some 2-children families! 

I spend 24/7 with my children so I can't honestly say that I feel they are not getting enough attention.  They actually prefer to play with each other rather than spend time with mom!  I try to give them every opportunity I can by taking them to school, church, ballet, gymnastics, swimming, tennis and field trips galore.  My husband feels like I spoil them too much by taking them everywhere.  Personally I see it as a way to give them a well-rounded upbringing.

Other mothers I have talked with usually wish they had had more children.  I commonly hear them say, “If I were a little bit younger I might have had one more.”  I have a hard time imagining a mother saying that she regrets having too many children.  As any mom knows, once each child is a part of our lives, we can never imagine life without that sweet, precious soul.  Life just would not be the same without our children!

There was a time when having 4 small children wouldn't have drawn a crowd in the grocery store.  It certainly is not the normal size family today but I feel strongly that it shouldn't be viewed in a negative way.  Baby Bunching is not something I would recommend for everyone but it has worked fairly well for me.  I only wish our modern-day population would have a little more acceptance of larger families.  Speaking for myself and my husband, we would be very grateful if inquisitive people would refrain from asking questions pertaining to our private body parts or our sex life.  Allow me to recommend some more appropriate responses such as, “What a wonderful group of kids!” or “What a lovely family!”  This would make for a much more comfortable interaction for everyone!   

Sharon is a mother of four in Georgia and the author of What To Do When You Have Heart Disease, www.TheHeartDiseaseGuide.com

homeschooling your bunch; it can be done

By Tricia Morgan, Reston Mom

Iʼm a homeschooling mom of 3 - soon to be 4. Hope is 6, Maddie is 4, Amelia is 1 and the new baby arrives in November. One inquiry I get pretty often is in regards to how I handle teaching Hope (who is completing 1st grade this year) with little ones under foot. Honestly, this is a difficult question to answer for other people. First, because so much of what happens in a homeschooling household is determined by the particular philosophy/method employed. Secondly, our particular routine has seasons. It seems to shift and change and adapt just as the children themselves are growing and changing. And also, a great deal is dependent upon the personalities and temperament of the children as well as the parents - obviously there can be huge and dynamic differences here from household to household. All I can do is share what works for our family and be honest and say that we are still figuring some things out as we go. 

Maybe the best way to begin is simply to take you through a day this spring.

6:30-7 a.m.- Weʼre up! Baby gets a diaper change, and we all head downstairs
7-8 a.m.- Hope and Maddie either watch a few cartoons or play while mom feeds herself and Ami. Then mom gets time to read to or play with Ami.
8 - 9 a.m.- Hope and Maddie eat breakfast while Ami either plays or joins us in her highchair. Mom will read books chosen by the girls during breakfast. Afterwards, Hope and Maddie get dressed while mom cleans up from
breakfast and dresses Ami. Then everyone heads out the door to enjoy the nice weather for a few minutes and give Ami the opportunity to toddle a good bit.
9 ish- Ami goes down for a nap. Hope, Maddie, and Mom begin with a morning devotional. Following which Maddie will play or look at books quietly while mom starts Hope on her math lesson/assignment. Once Hope is working, if mom hasnʼt showered yet, sheʼll do that now. Around 10 a.m. there will be a break for snacks. Hope and Maddie play for a few minutes. Hope returns to her other curriculum assignments ie: handwriting, individual reading, etc.... and mom will work with Maddie on reading or preschool activity eventually Ami will wake up and she will play until Maddie and Hope are ready to join her.
11 or 11:30 a.m. is lunchtime. Often mom feeds herself and Ami while Hope and Maddie play. Then she prepares lunch for the other girls and calls them in. During lunch, mom reads more books or everyone goes over memory work together.
12ish p.m. - This is usually when we do science. Maddie often joins in because she likes the experiments. Ami tags around or plays. If the lesson is more complicated, we might wait until Ami takes an afternoon nap.
1:30 p.m.- Naptime for Ami and Maddie. Hope finishes curriculum that requires momʼs help and then has quiet time to read and have a snack. Mom uses this time to pull stuff together around the house or relax or pull out stuff for dinner or whatever following naps, we have the rest of the afternoon to meet for play dates with friends, run errands, take special trips, do art/craft projects, bake, play outside with neighborhood kids or do whatever we like.
5:00 p.m. - Dad is home from work, the family eats dinner together.

Iʼll do my best to answer some questions that might have crossed your mind:

So, you have a pretty consistent schedule from day to day?
Yes, and it really helps a lot. The kids know what to expect. Actually, Monday is my husbandʼs day off and so it is reserved for family day - no school. We are part of a supplementary program that meets on Wednesdays and that pretty much takes the place of our home schedule that day - so really, we are only teaching according to this kind of schedule 3 days a week - but those three days are consistent and for the most part, we do manage to do everything we need to.

Still, within our schedule there is a lot of organic movement - from mom between children; answering questions, giving hugs, helping with tasks...just being mom to everyone as well as the teacher.

What do you do to keep the younger ones entertained/busy while you work with the oldest?
Nothing. They are expected to be able to entertain themselves with the toys and books that are provided in our home and to be respectful of the other family members. You may be thinking “yeah, right. That would never work for us!” Which may or may not be true - but again a couple things factor in - one, the temperaments of the children. Two, training. Since it has always been thus in our home, the girls have never known differently. Iʼve never been the kind of person who could/would entertain my children or give them my undivided attention every second. Even Ami at 1 yr. is aware that sometimes she has to wait and is capable of playing nearby by herself. That said, I also have worked hard to ensure that each of my children feel loved and secure and do get time with mom.

Again, I must say that we go through seasons. I remember when Maddie was a little younger, I used to let her watch an educational video sometimes so I could get a shower in or work with Hope. Now it is a bit easier, because while I work with one child, the other can help play with the baby.

What about teaching with a newborn?
I had a few months of this last year and will go it again this fall. Itʼs really not bad since newborns tend to sleep a lot. I just give the kids a break when the baby needs to eat. I couldnʼt ever manage to get used to wearing a sling/baby carrier - so the baby usually just hangs out with us where ever we are in their portable swing/chair or gym or on a blanket on the floor. Honestly, itʼs not the schedule that makes this difficult, itʼs the being so tired.

Does it get easier as the kids get older since you can overlap curriculum?
In that sense it depends. Since we use a classical methodology instead of a thematic approach, for instance, there is a lot less overlapping. It does however become quite a bit easier as the kids get older. They are more able to focus their attention for longer periods of time. They are capable of working individually on assignments. They become more responsible for themselves overall - if you teach them to become so. I find that one of the biggest bonuses of the girls getting older has simply been that they help me out more - with each other, with little chores around the house. I donʼt have to micromanage or oversee every little detail anymore. They get dressed, brush teeth, clear plates, get snacks, help with the baby, and more. I canʼt tell you how much time this frees up when it is all added together and I donʼt have to be there hovering and helping.

Iʼve been candid here, but keep in mind that this is just what Iʼve learned from our particular personal experience. I think that each family that chooses to homeschool will just have to move through each season with what works best for them, like anything else. If your family isnʼt like mine, that doesnʼt mean it wonʼt work for you.

Tricia is a Baby Bunching mom to three (soon to be four children).

baby bunching Q/A: carseat logistics when traveling

In honor of kicking off summer vacation season this Memorial Day weekend, this question came from Buncher Jen as a follow-up to our post on traveling by air with your Bunch. 

Q:  We have a bunch of 3 (with 33 months between them). The oldest is 4.5 (in a booster) and the youngest are 2.5 & 1.5 (in convertibles). We are flying nonstop from Austin to Seattle & bought tickets for the 4 & 2.5 year olds and the youngest is a lap child. Do I really need to take all 3 carseats? For the longest part of our trip, we will be with family who can loan us all but one carseat so my temptation is to take only one convertible. However, what do I do for the last leg of our trip when we will be in San Francisco for the weekend without the family? I'm not exactly comfortable putting all 3 kids in the back of a cab without carseats, but is that a better alternative than spending an hour doing public transportation when it is a 15 minute cab ride? Also, are there legal requirements for children in the back of a cab? Maybe they're required to be in a carseat (in which case we can only take minivan cabs)? I'm really conflicted about how to handle the carseat situation and would appreciate any advice you might have. I hate to think about traveling with 3 little ones, 3 carseats, 2 strollers, luggage, etc. 

A: This is a complicated situation, and yet we experienced an almost identical one when we traveled last Christmas. I'm going to answer it the way I tackled it and perhaps others can chime in with alternatives. First of all, given the age of your middle child, I would consider bringing a car seat for that child on the plane because 2 1/2 is a difficult age to control and keep still on a long flight.  I always found with my kids at that age that it was easier just to to tell them they had to be buckled in just like in the car - that way it kept them from going crazy and wanting to squirm around like fools on the plane.  

The booster for your oldest child is actually quite lightweight and not that big of a deal to bring (maybe you don't need it on the plane, but you might as well bring it on the trip). And if your child is big enough--height wise--you might just bring the seat-only part of the booster. When we traveled with two boosters this past Christmas, we were able to fit both of them in one car seat travel bag and check them - it was way less hassle to carry them than I thought it would be.  Most airlines are not SUPPOSED to charge you for checked carseats - however, we experienced much confusion on the part of both gate agents and curb check both going both there and back.  One of them was going to charge us $25, but for my husband's frequent flier status, which allowed us to squeak through.  So check the charges with your airline first and get to the aiport WAY early both ways so that you can mess with the confusion that a checked car seat inevitably causes.  If you brought all 3 seats, you just have to check the baby's and you can bring the other 2 on the plane (we always just strapped a seat to each of our backs or tied to stroller somehow).  

In answer to your cab question, yes - California requires car seats in cabs.  Conversely, BART (subway) and MUNI (bus) do not - but as you pointed out, public transportation and your Bunch is a whole 'nother ball of wax.  I have heard that some cab companies DO furnish car seats, if you call in advance and request.  But I've never tested that out myself - maybe another reader has and would be willing to share?  

What it boiled down to for us was bringing all 3 car seats.  Between our 2 cars and 3 children, we have approximately 17 car seats of every type, so we always just select the lightest, narrowest, easiest to install ones for when we travel.  I'm not sure what your San Francisco plans are (are you visiting places where you can just take the car seats out of the cab and leave them at the front of the Children's Museum while you tour or are planning on hiking Fisherman's Wharf with 3 car seats strapped to your back), but my guess is that with 3 kids these ages, you're not going to "do" San Francisco at the breakneck pace that you would if you were just with hubby. So car seat logistics are just gonna have to be part of the plan. Sucks.  On the bright side, we lived in San Francisco for a summer when my kids were just the ages of yours and it is an FABULOUS place with so much to see and do (even for kids).  I'm willing to bet that even factoring in a few car seat snafus, you will have an amazing trip.  Good luck and have fun!

this buncher is heading back to school

By Michelle Young, Trifecta

Last summer, as I fought my way through the never-ending neediness that accompanies a summer with toddlers, I decided I needed some intellectual stimulation. I’ve always known I wanted to go back to work, but with three boys four-years old and under I knew it would be a while before I had the time or the energy to pursue a second career. I decided returning to school would fulfill my need to exercise my mind while it would open doors for me in the future. That said there aren’t a lot of professions out there where “crafty mom” meets Master’s degree so I decided to interpret my creativity in a different way. I looked at all of the things I love about being crafty and all of the things I love about parenting and inevitably came up with a profession that encompassed both in one easy breezy package. I decided I would get my Master’s of Education in K through 8.

Once my husband and I made the decision it was all about locating the best school. There are tons of Master’s programs out there, but my requirements were specific. I had to find a school where I could do 90% of my course work online, I wanted the school to be competitive with other traditional Master’s programs, and the school had to be recognized by the Virginia board of Education. I also wanted the school I chose to be a brick and mortar school first, not second. After doing my research, contacting several schools, and talking directly with the recruitment office for Fairfax County public schools I discovered that Grand Canyon University was going to be my most efficient choice. The school had everything I needed. It is an actual school in Arizona that is over fifty years old, it required extensive practicum observation, it required student teaching, and it required FBI and state background clearance. Essentially, it follows Arizona regulations and applies those standards to all of its online programs.  All things considered, GCU was going to provide me with the best education under the best circumstances.

I was ecstatic about my decision to return to school. I loved to idea of getting my degree and then having a usable skill that would give me a professional career after my job as “Mommy toting tots” was less demanding. I knew I couldn’t justify leaving my youngest in full-day daycare at this point, but maybe in two years I would feel differently. Also, the idea of having a state retirement and pension was extremely appealing. Having summers off wasn’t too shabby either. Although I hadn’t thought teaching was my “calling” before, I now felt that it might just be what I was meant to do all this time. So, without delay I started my courses.

In July I began my first two courses at GCU. I was terrified to write my first paper. Sure, I had been blogging and reading a ton since I left the workforce, but I had not had the opportunity to be critiqued on my writing in years. My husband, who is a self proclaimed writer and admittedly better at mechanics than I am, assured me that my writing would suffice. Before I had a chance to really read through my first courses syllabus I found myself in a tailspin of discussion boards and classroom chats. As an online student, a portion of your grade is determined by your participation and active engagement in guided discussions. My brain was literally swimming from all of the posts, material, trackbacks, references, and questions being fired in my direction from my classmates and instructors. To add insult to intellectual injury I was tasked with taking guardianship of my grandfather, who was recently diagnosed with dementia. I really wanted to quite, to just put my education on hold, but I knew I couldn’t live with myself if I stopped. I decided to keep going, even though I was overworked and completely stressed out.

By September I had finished two classes, completed the guardianship process, and managed to keep all of my children alive through the summer. I was mentally and physically exhausted, but I didn’t want to give up. I desperately wanted to have something to show for all of my hard work. I tightened up the reigns and continued on, convinced that things would get easier once school started and I had more free time.

I suppose I was in a fantasy world because things didn’t get easier. The graduate program I selected is very academic and had a lot of hands on requirements. Each class included 15 to 25 hours of practicum observation from until you begin your student teaching. That meant I needed to find child care for the boys above and beyond preschool that was sporadic and temporary. Since I wasn’t “working” this proved to be difficult and expensive. Most of us don’t want to rely on our girlfriend’s to take our kids for ten hours a day, not to mention that watching someone else’s baby bunching  brood is not always “appealing." And there aren’t a lot of “babysitters” willing to take your kids on a whim during the day. On more than one occasion I had to ask multiple girlfriends to take one of the boys, which meant an additional hour drive drop off time tacked onto my overall time away from home. The practicum experience was part of the reason I chose this program, but it intensified the experience. I thought I had things under control until I started my practicum observations. All of the sudden, I found myself trying to figure out how to manage my workload again. It was frustrating and completely discouraging.

I decided to reevaluate my life. I had always been really involved with my girlfriends, I joined “moms clubs”, school boards, organized events, and served my community. I loved blogging, sewing, being creative, but with the addition of my graduate work, I just couldn’t continue to perform at super mommy speed. Something had to give! After assessing all of my commitments, I decided there were a few things I had been doing that were really unnecessary. I decided to only commit to doing things that fulfilled me and where I was appreciated. I backed off of my mom’s club commitments, I scaled back my social activities, and I reprioritized my “to do” list. Before I knew it my priorities had been defined and school seemed to fall effortlessly in place.

Before I knew it things were going swimmingly. I had sailed through my third semester and somehow managed to really enjoy the experience. I enjoyed my kids more, I felt relaxed, and I was sewing and blogging more than I had in a year! A few simple changes in my life seemed to make all the difference in the world.

With less than a year to go until I finish my Master’s degree, I’m thankful that I stuck with it. What I thought were sacrifices turned out to be positive lifestyle changes. I ended up not only being able to tackle my course load, but I also found a balance.

For those moms out there who think going back to school is too challenging I offer you a bit of mommy wisdom. It is challenging to juggle young children, a new intellectual endeavor, and all of your previous commitments, but if your goal is to do something truly for you then chances are going back to school or work is just one piece of the puzzle. If you stay determined and don’t give up you’ll probably find the balance in your life, too.

A few notes about going back to school with a Baby Bunching brood:

• Look for a degree program that is competitive and mimics full-time traditional setting programs.
• Make sure you’re school is accredited.
• If you chose to get your degree through an online program, try to find a school that has a physical campus. Employers are skewed towards brick and mortar schools.
• Contact Human Resources professionals in your desired line of work and make sure that they accept the credentials of the school you’re looking to attend.
• Most good schools will not let you “double up” on courses unless you get Dean’s approval. If the school you’re looking at takes flat rate tuition, but allows you to take as many courses as you like in a semester be wary. Even if the school is a good school, this is setting you the student up for failure.

Once you start your degree make sure you have a plan. Map out when you’ll post to discussion boards, when you will complete assignments, how you will fit in projects. This will help you to stay on top of the demands on your schedule.

I hope this article helps you find the balance among the chaos. Whether you’re going back to school or heading off to work, your personal goals are attainable if you stay steady and focused throughout the madness.

Michelle lives in Northern VIrginia with her three boys. She blogs at Trifecta.

when the bunch gets easier

By Shanna, 3 Cute Kids

For the first several years of my parenting life, my family situation seemed much harder than my friends.  My daughter was only 15 months when my twin sons were born.  We were thrown right into the baby bunching world, and our life became a blur of diapers, formula, milk, and sleepless night.  I would glance with envy at friends whose children would reach the ripe old age of 4 before welcoming a sibling.  Or perhaps had an eight year old to help feed the baby or push the stroller.  I spent many months wishing that just one of my children would sleep though the night on a consistent basis, or was gone to school for a few hours a day.

As a baby buncher, we weren’t able to take advantage of some of the ‘perks’ of having more than one child.  We had to have three cribs and three car seats.  Because of the twins, we couldn’t make do with one bouncy seat and one highchair.  The gender fairy ensured that we couldn’t take advantage of hand-me-down clothing.   So much about life and our family situation seemed very hard in those first few years.

Now I will tell you the secret of moving from a baby bunch to a child bunch.  It becomes easier!  I glance at my friends now, and I can’t help but think we have it easier than most.  Our bunch enjoys the same activities- I don’t have to try and manage family time with a teenager who wants to go to a movie and a preschooler who wants to go to the park.  Because mine are close in age, they all enjoy the same types of activities, and we can move through their developmental stages all together.

Think about school. Except for 2 transition years, they will all be at the same school for their entire school career. I can be active with the PTA, volunteer in the classrooms, and be done.  I won’t have to worry about younger siblings not being allowed in the schools.  They all have similar homework (especially the twins). Sure, I have had three at home for 4 years, but once school age hits, they are all gone for several hours each day!  I won’t deny being a little happy about that!

When we go to a playground, they can watch out for each other.  It is a fact that a child playing alone is not as safe as two children playing together.  When they are in the backyard and I am at the computer… er, I mean, I am making dinner, I know they are looking out for each other.  When one does something slightly dangerous, I have two little tattletales who are happy to run in and report.  The same is true for when one falls and scrapes a knee or gets stuck in the tree and can’t get down.  If there was just one out there, I would be much more nervous and have to keep a much closer watch.  Sure, sometimes they get in trouble together, but it only takes a few moments of silence to set off the warning bells in my head!

We have been through the years of baby bunch, and we have certain routines down pat.  For baby bunchers, getting older means getting easier! I now feel a little sorry for my friends who are trying to juggle the activities of their middle schooler while desperately trying to maintain a sleep schedule for the toddler.  I’m enjoying this phase of child bunching more than I ever imagined.  Watching them become best friends and listening to them giggle at the same jokes (mostly involving poop) makes all the craziness of the baby phase worth it.  We are having fun, and just trying not to think about all 3 going to college at the same time!

Shanna is the mother of 3, 2 boys and a girl 15 months apart in age.  She is a full-time mom, part-time nurse, and adoption advocate.  She blogs about family life at 3 Cute Kids.