Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

how much does bunching shape the members of your bunch?

We're currently in the process of deciding whether or not to send the younger of our Bunch to Kindergarten in the fall or wait until next year, since he is a late July birthday and will have just turned 5 when school starts.  Academically, he's probably more prepared for K than our oldest was (February birthday), but we're weighing his social readiness.  He's a (constant) finger sucker, still has some separation anxiety issues on occasion, lacks confidence in unfamiliar settings, is hyper-competitive, refuses to participate in new/unfamiliar environments, and is slow to warm up in groups where he doesn't know anyone. 

Sound like your average 4 1/2 year old, much? On the one side, we feel like he still has a lot of time to grow up before school starts in the fall.  On the same side, we wonder if some of that is just HIM - that he'll always be a more competitive, less outgoing, and little more sensitive than his older brother. 

On the flip side, we wonder if by holding him back and letting him be the oldest in his class instead of the baby might provide a much-needed confidence boost.  Plus, it might not hurt to have a year in school in between him and his (very different) older brother.  Not only do I foresee the potential for more complicated social dynamics with shared friends, etc. when they get older, it would be really nice for the younger one not to immediately follow in the older one's footsteps with every teacher, coach, etc.

I've had numerous discussions debating the pros and cons of starting Kindergarten with several of my friends who, ironically, are in the very same boat (Baby Bunchers with the baby of the Bunch having a summer birthday).  Upon comparison, it's interesting to note (and it may just be coincidence) that all of our eldests are outgoing and confident, while all of our youngers are sensitive and a little more reserved.  We all know the impact birth order has on personality - is it possible that spacing makes a difference, too? 

I often wonder about how having my boys so close together may have impacted them.  My oldest had to grow up pretty quickly and be more independent when his brother came along, even though he was still just a baby himself!  As a Baby Buncher, I shushed and pampered the second child because, frankly, it was just easier and faster to do it myself than go at his pace and wait for him to do it. And bless his heart, just about the time things calmed down a little and we could move at his pace, his baby brother came along, landing him solidly in the middle of a pack of three boys less than 4 1/2 years apart.

Going back to the Kindergarten issue, we've pretty much decided to hold him back.  If he experiences some incredible emotional growth spurt over the summer, we can always decide to go ahead and send him to K at the last minute, but otherwise he'll be enjoying another year in preschool along with a lot of other Baby Bunched friends with summer birthdays.  Maybe the chance to be on the top of the heap at school will counteract the fact that he never really had a chance to be King of the Hill at home.

we only have two hands, thank them

Last week, I stood staring at a bottle of nail polish at Target. Since having babies (especially back to back), nail polish has become obsolete in our house. The last time my nails were done was the week before my first child was born. That was when I did the ceremonial "new mom" mani/pedi. And while my toes have been fortunate enough to receive some TLC since then, my hands haven't been so lucky. It's been 6 years.

I looked down at my crusty neglected cuticles, hangnails dried from the cold and chipped tips and thought perhaps it was time to reevaluate my nail polish needs.

My hands look so different than 6 years ago. The veins pop a little more. I have a few new moles. They certainly don't look young anymore. And my nails are definitely very unkempt. Don't they say unkempt nails are a sign of your life being disorderly? Yes, yes it is I'm a Baby Buncher!

My hands have experienced so much in 6 years and a manicure is not one of them. They've been pooped and peed on. They've cleaned up vomit. They've wiped off boogies and mushed up carrots.  They've ground up veggies (hoping someone will eat them) and then sopped up the food spit back out. They've begged kids to sit down at the table, and they've forced kids to sit on the potty. They've held the hands of kids as they learned to walk. They've held on as kids have learned to ride two-wheel bikes.

They've held down a baby in the ER while someone unlovingly inserted an IV. They've prayed for good results. They've helped a doctor cast an arm.

They've pushed strollers up steep hills and carried a carseat which left welts since second baby was too heavy for the seat.They've bandaged boo boos. They've cradled, swaddled, bathed and tickled.

They've colored, outlined letters, made paper chains and wrote notes to teachers asking for help. They've frozen in the cold while someone else wore my gloves. They've warmed up faces and blown kisses.  

They've turned about 51,6000 pages of stories.

In 6 years, my hands have experienced so much, and I think it's time to celebrate. I think I'll paint my nails this weekend. 

toddlers are people too

I LOVE babies, but I have never been a fan of the toddler.  Scarred by my two previous face offs with toddlers, I've always just pretty much assumed that the very act of being between the ages of 9 and 36 months renders a person completely and totally irrational and impossible.

Enter The Caboose.  He recently turned 17 months old, which is exactly the same age his oldest brother was when the middle brother was born.  Have I lost you yet?  

This time I'm seeing this age through a whole new lens, as if for the first time.

When my first baby was 17 months old, I had just delivered another baby.  The oldest didn't walk or talk well, although he certainly had a mind of his own.  The newcomer, a fussy and demanding baby, commanded most of my attention.  Suddenly, I lost patience for Big Baby's insistence on doing things his way, his lack of ability to effectively communicate and his exhausting sense of adventure.  Two babies, each difficult in their own way, meant I was in survival mode.

When my second baby was 17 months old, I was coming off of four-and-a-half straight years of pregnancy, nursing, diapers, and lack of sleep.  I was so exhausted I couldn't see straight.  Thankfully the second baby, while difficult as a newborn, was a fairly mellow toddler.  He was very early verbal and lacked his brother's drive to go searching for trouble. Still, it was an exhausting job to manage TWO toddlers.  The only way to keep myself sane was to keep us all busy, so I orchestrated an endless stream of play dates and baby classes designed to run the wee ones so ragged that they would sleep soundly at nap and bedtime.  At play dates with my mommy friends, who were my biggest support system, I longed for the boys to go away and play so that I could chat and drink my coffee.  Instead, they just had Constant Needs in a different location.  Desperate for time for myself, I happily shipped them both off to Parents Morning Out one day a week and lived for Wednesday mornings.

Fast forward three years to my third foray into toddler hood.  It's a totally different ballgame this time.  Yeah - some things suck (like squeezing in a toddler nap schedule) because my big boys are school-aged and constantly on the go.  But mostly I'm just enjoying the things I didn't even SEE the last two times.  Like actually watching and hearing the way my toddler IS communicating with me, even if his language isn't quite as developed as mine yet.  Or watching him explore his toys and figuring out how they work, whether he's on his own or trying to get in on his brother's games.  Or endlessly repeating his favorite game of running from the across the room to be scooped into my arms.  Or the precious way he starts humming "our" song the moment I sit down to rock him before bedtime.  The way he finds bath time splashing hilarious, the way he reacts to new foods, the way he stamps his foot when he doesn't like what I'm telling him, and the way he does actually listen and follow directions even though he can't say a lot yet. Instead of finding his strong-willed, high-energy ways challenging or annoying, I find him so precious I could literally eat him with a spoon.

I revel in these moments, but they also make me sad that I was so harried and frazzled that I missed this with my two oldest kids.  I would never, ever change my life as a Baby Buncher - siblings close in age are the greatest gift I've been able to give my boys.  But I'm sure glad there was an Act Three to this show.

Believe it or not, I've become such a fan of the toddler that I actually request that room (not the most popular one, if you can believe it) for my church nursery volunteer shift.  And with a new appreciation for these special little people, I see myself staying there long after The Caboose leaves it.

baby steps for baby bunchers in the new year

Typically, I am squarely with Linda in the anti-resolution camp, but this year my hand has been forced.  Between the addition of child #3, a husband who works insane hours and is barely home during the week, starting my own company a year ago, and the start of kindergarten last fall for child #1 (which somehow became an entire-family experience), I have pretty much been spinning out of control for the past year or so.  I have been beating up on my body quite a bit - too much caffeine, too much sugar, too much snacking/grazing instead of meals, too much wine, and not enough sleep and exercise.  No wonder I've been feeling like I'm running on empty! 

I'm sure there are many of you in this same boat because one of the occupational hazards of Baby Bunching is that it is a very physical job to mother very young children.  Make that multiple young children and you're constantly hopping in an effort to feed, water, clothe, bathe, entertain, and monitor little ones who can't do much for themselves. 

While I'm staunchly opposed to setting myself up for failure by making resolutions I know I can't keep, something has got to change when it comes to taking care of myself.  And honestly, I have so much to work on that if I'm actually gonna change it and keep it that way, I've got to do it with baby steps.  So I made a few small goals for myself.  Somehow I'm under the impression that if I write them down for the whole world to see, I might actually STICK to a few of them, so here goes:

• Eat breakfast every day.
• Scale back on the caffeine by drinking 1-2 cups of regular out of the pot hubby makes and then refilling my cup with decaf.
• Go back to 1 Diet Coke a day, a habit I successfully adhered to for 15 years and only recently broke for some reason.
• Sit down and eat lunch and dinner.  It only takes 10 minutes.  Let people cry if I have to.  I deserve to eat, for God's sake.
• Would like to go back to my rule of 1 treat per day, which I have never successfully adhered to.  But I CAN adhere to 2 treats per day.
• PLAY with the kids (without multi-tasking, checking my BlackBerry or doing anything else) for an hour after school.
• Exercise a little each day.  My previous, physically-fit self always believed that it wasn't a workout unless you could commit at least an hour to fit in cardio and strength training and be drenched in sweat at the conclusion.  My new, maternal self has finally realized that something is better than nothing.  20 minutes a day of either is a start. 
• Wine only on weekends.
• Bed no later than midnight during the week.

None of these are earth-shattering, but they're all a (baby) step in the right direction.  Do you have just one or two little changes you'd like to make this year?

woes of a traveling baby buncher

Typically here on Baby Bunching we aim to offer two things: 1) tips and tricks for survival and 2) support.  However, I feel compelled to forewarn you that today's post is strictly a vent.  Rest assured that we will offer plenty of tips and tricks for making the most of the holiday season with your Bunch, but today's post is just a bitch-fest from Cara about how much it sucks to be a traveling Baby Buncher.  If you are one of those blessed enough to live near family and avoid traveling for the holidays and cannot in any way identify with this post, consider this a small gift from God to make your life as a Baby Buncher infinitely easier.

We have just returned from a perfectly lovely long holiday weekend, where a number of our very dearest family members worked so hard to put on a picture-perfect Thanksgiving, followed by the absolutely delightful holiday weekend wedding of my sister. They were really, really lovely events and by all accounts were enjoyed by all in attendance.  Except for me and my husband.

You see, we dragged our Bunch and their little brother, The Caboose, over 600 miles by car to attend said events.  We briefly contemplated traveling by air, but decided that this had the capacity to be a disaster of even greater proportions.  Traveling with my kids sucks because:

1) Packing in and of itself is a multi-day affair.  No matter how organized I am, we just have a lot of stuff.  It takes awhile to pack the pack-n-play, the sleep aids (oscillating fan, white noise machine, etc.), the portable booster, the stroller, the diaper bag, the toy bag, the food bag, the overnight bag (so we don't have to drag everything into the hotel on the way up) and the freaking suitcases full of clothes.  And the youngest is even old enough that we have dropped the pump/formula/baby food bag.  I am absolutely mortified to say that my MINIVAN is actually not a large enough vehicle to transport my crew and their gear.  Traveling by plane would be even worse, as at $25 a checked bag, it would be cheaper to charter a plane to transport all this shit than fly commercial.

2) One of my children (typically the baby and sometimes myself, too) gets sick every time we travel.  Can I just say how great it is to spend the beginning of every trip not sleeping for 3 days and checking out every Urgent Care and pharmacy in the flipping country!??!

3) Once we get there, we are in vacation mode but we still have children.  We have so many awesome, well-intended relatives that offer to help out once we get there, but the bottom line is that the kids are still our responsibility...in an unfamiliar, unstructured, un-baby-proofed environment.  The scenario is always the same:  lovely event that has all the makings of a good time.  Long-lost relative/friend that i haven't seen in forever sidles up and says, "It's so good to see you!  How've you been?"  I begin to answer the question and then notice that one of the children has crawled/toddled/sprinted (depending on age) out of my line of vision.  Excuse myself to chase after said child, calling, "Great!  How have you been!  Would love to hear!"  In a decade, maybe, when I can have a freaking uninterrupted conversation.

4)  Despite the abundance of free babysitters, there is no break.  This is because all of the stolen moments that hubby and I count on to get us through the day (nap time, computer time while boys are at school and baby plays quietly in baby-proofed area, early bedtime for kids, hot bath and wine after kids go to bed) never happen because there is a flurry of fun activities that keep us from sticking to our schedule.  And what kind of a Grinchy parent sends their kids to bed at 7 pm when there's a flock of relatives that only get to see them twice a year lining up to play with them?

5) Fortunately, we have awesome family members who are always willing to babysit.  Unfortunately, we are bone-tired and passed out on the couch before our kids have even begun to wind down for the evening.

6) On the ride home there is no backup.  Only hundreds of miles of open road and three small children yammering for snacks, videos, potty breaks, and release from car seat harnesses.

7) And when we get home, it's immediately back to the old grind.  Which almost seems relaxing after a "vacation".

outnumbered

A few years ago long before my third son was born, I remember chatting one weekend with a very dear friend and her husband, who also had two children, when the subject of family size came up.  I always knew I would have 3 kids and honestly pictured myself with 4.  I was also apparently picturing myself with a different husband since I now know there is NO WAY my husband will consent to reproducing again. 

Likewise, my friend's DH was (and still is) adamantly opposed to having more than two children and I asked him why.  I remember him telling me that he wanted to have "enough" to parent all of the children adequately - and in his mind, even more important than enough money was enough TIME.  I scoffed at the notion, truly feeling like the heart and the hours in the day expand to accommodate however many children are in need of your attention.

Enter Baby #3, who is kicking my scoffing ass on a daily basis.  It' s not so much HIM as it is the addition of another child.  In my head, I thought that as my Bunch got older they would get easier - and they have in some ways.  But the fact remains that there are 3 of them and 1 of me.  And while my husband is very hands-on when he IS home, he works very long hours and during the week, he is not home much.  Which means that I am way, way outnumbered.

When my Bunch was tiny, they were demanding because someone always needed to be fed, changed, napped, bathed, rocked, and on and on.  There were pressing physical needs that kept me hopping all day long.  Now that they are older (5 and 4), they have pressing needs of a different kind. 

The oldest has started kindergarten and while he's gone all day, he returns home with homework and a desire to continue participating in structured activities (practicing his writing, doing science experiments, making art projects, etc.).  I'm not complaining and I LOVE his thirst for learning, but it is hard for me to facilitate impromptu homeschooling with his brothers hanging off the side.  And seriously, I tip my hat to those who homeschool for real - you go, girls.  I do the best I can to provide fun and educational activities for him, but I regret that I don't have more time to spend focused, one-on-one time really digging into these activities with him.

My middle son is happy to play cars or color most of the day after preschool, but has classic Middle Child Syndrome, which means that he is constantly seeking attention in some form or fashion and wants to be applauded for every small achievement.  In case you're wondering, these do not yet include getting dressed by himself, putting his own shoes on, washing his hands after using the restroom without being told, buckling himself into his booster seat in the car, and so on.  I'll admit that I've babied him a little because, frankly, it was always easier and faster to do it myself than wait for him.  Lazy parenting on my part and now I'm paying the piper.  He'll turn out just fine, I know, but I regret that my divided attention has made him feel like he always has to be clambering for it.

And of course, we have the baby.  Always needing to be fed, changed, napped, bathed, rocked, AND kept from being pummeled by his brothers.  Safety is a far greater concern with him than it was with my Bunch at this age because there are now tons of his brother's tiny age-inappropriate toys all over my house.  Also, he is always trying to keep up with them which means if he sees them walking down the stairs, he will try to walk too, regardless of his actual abilities.  He does just great with his brothers as playmates, but I regret that I don't have more time to slow my pace with him and shower him with attention in the form of long walks in the stroller or Gymboree classes, like I did with his oldest brother.

Family size, like most things parenting-related, is such a personal issue.  What rolls right off the backs of some moms may make others crazy.  What is considered high-maintenance child behavior in one home may be the norm in another.  And what is considered plenty of quality time to spend with each child in one home may be woefully inadequate in another.  I do believe that God's hand guides us and we all end up with the family we were meant to have.  But for my part, I'm thinking this is "enough".

a love letter to baby bunchers

Ok, girls - SOOOO excited because I have just returned from Blogalicious 2009 in Atlanta, held this weekend and organized by the fabulous Mamas over at Mama Law.  These girls deserve MAJOR props for putting together such a first-class event in its inaugural year.

I had the privilege of meeting some old Baby Bunching friends in the blogosphere - Kim Modolfsky, Devra Renner from Parentopia, Justice Fergie (conference organizer extraordinaire and fellow Baby Buncher), and Tech Saavy Mama - as well as hearing from some new ones that we will be stalking following (My Brown Baby, She Geeks, Always a Bridesmaid, Mommy Niri, Cutie Booty Cakes, and so many more!).  What an amazing weekend of learning and networking.  Thanks, Mamas!

However, the definite highlight of the weekend was meeting one of our own Baby Bunchers, A Shorter Mama, who enthusiastically dashed up to me after I asked a question in one of the sessions to let me know that she reads all our posts and is a huge fan!  My friend IRL who attended the conference with me, Jen, told me that the moment left her feeling a little like Gayle to my Oprah - LOL.  I LOVE hearing from Baby Bunchers that they love our site and find the information useful, but somehow meeting this new friend live and in person really made me realize what an amazing community we have here.  We are so lucky to have such great followers!

I could go on and on about the conference and what I learned (and you'll probably hear more from me in coming weeks, or check out the conference twitter feed at #blogalicious09) but my single biggest takeaway from the conference was that I need to do a better job of loving you like you love us.  Don't get me wrong - any Baby Buncher, by virtue of the parenting challenges she has endured, is my soul sister as far as I'm concerned.  But between my job, my kids, my blogging, and whatever else is going on in my life at the moment, I can never find time to respond to all your amazing comments or read all of your fabulous blogs.  Let me just say right now that it is NOT because I don't love you.  It's just because I need about 24 more hours in the day, which I know you could use as well.  But Blogalicious really taught me about the significance of Web 2.0 being an INTERACTIVE community.  Which means that in order for it to work and grow and thrive, we have to have constant two-way conversation.  So my new personal goal is to do a better job of reading and recognizing and encouraging YOU to join in on our Baby Bunching conversation.  You can do it by leaving comments, by joining our Facebook fan page, or by following Linda (@babybuncher) and me (@babybuncher2) on Twitter.  In return, we will comment, friend, and follow you. Also, if you are interested in guest blogging for us or having you guest blog for you,  or if you have an idea for a post topic or a question you'd like us to pose to the community, please let us know - you can email us at [email protected]

When we started this blog, it was honestly because we had a great idea for a book and publishers were telling us that we had no "platform," meaning a following.  We wanted to get the information in the book out there so that Baby Bunchers could learn from it and know that they weren't alone.  We started the blog to build the platform and somehow along the line, the blog became enough and the book fell by the wayside.  We ARE getting the information out there and we ARE making moms feel supported, and we have all of you to thank for making that possible.  Thank you for inviting us into your homes and your hearts and for spending what precious little free time you have with us.  We heart you, Baby Bunchers!

life lessons: what baby bunching has taught me

I am 34 years old. If you had told me 10 years ago I was only half as smart as I'd be today, I would have laughed in your face. At 24 I was sure I knew so much--about my profession, people, responsibility and life. In the past 10 years, life has taught me many lessons, but Baby Bunching my kids may have taught me the most important ones. When I found out I was expecting my second baby in 16 months, it was like I had been hit by a ton of bricks.

Here is what conceiving unexpectedly after 1 ectopic pregnancy, 2 years of trying to conceive and being given a 30% chance of getting pregnant naturally will teach you:

1) Nothing is predictable.
2) I can't plan life. "Life is what happens when you're busy planning it."
3) The things that seem the hardest to get through often fade from memory or helped me grow in ways I never even imagined.
4) Doctors don't know as much as I thought they did....about many things.
5) Flexibility is critical in life.
6) The parenting books great for trial and error but really the only way to parent is through trial and error.
7) Every child is different.
8) Instincts are more important than I thought.
9) I know my child better than anyone else. When in doubt, remember that.
10) The hours go by so slow but the weeks just fly by.
11) I should never compare myself to other moms. Everyone is different. Kids are different. Family situations are different.
12) I welcome friendships with people I probably wouldn't normally befriend. Different parenting styles and perspectives help us better align our own styles.
13) Mom friends really are important.
14) Bribery works. 
15) It is acceptable to say 'no' to commitments and even my kids.
16) I can't do it all!
17) If only labor & delivery were the hardest parts about being a parent.
18) There will always be people who parent better and worse than I do.

Yes, these are the lessons I have learned in the past four years. Perhaps all parents find their list of life lessons after kids come around. Perhaps it's not related to Baby Bunching. But I continue to be amazed at how much I learn everyday from my kids and my experiences with them.

Parenthood is humbling.

baby bunching benefits: shared life stages

Baby Bunching has long been a defining personal characteristic for me - for about 18 months before Linda and I even coined the term.  I am a baby person and once I gave birth to one of my own, I was all back-to-back babies, all the time.  I realized how much babies had taken over my life when the youngest of my Bunch was about 2 1/2 and I was stunned to realize that while I was standing in the baby section of a children's clothing store, I no longer had a child that fit in those sizes.  Four straight years of baby will addle your brain that way.

I always knew I wanted a third child, but quickly realized that neither my sanity nor my marriage would survive Bunching a second time.  Our carefully timed third child arrived almost exactly three years after the second.  He has been a joy for me, especially for every age after 9 months because I feel like I never really fully got to experience those stages the first two times.  When my oldest was nine months old, I was sick as a dog and exhausted all the time, as I was pregnant with my second.  When my second was nine months old, I was in sheer survival mode and it was all a blur.  So there was no doubt that my spacing for #3 was right for me.  But of late, since my oldest has started kindergarten, I've started to wish that the spacing was a little less.  Just a tad.  Why?

Baby Bunching is a double-edged sword.  Yes, everyone is a baby at once.  But on the flip side, everyone is a baby at the same time. Which means that they are preschoolers at the same time, and grade schoolers at the same time.  If your're in the throes of Baby Bunching now, I bet you can't even GET to five years from now, so I'll just spell it out for you.

It sucks to drag a baby to soccer practice.  It sucks to wake a baby up from his nap because you have to pick one of his brothers up from school.  It sucks that they are playing cars and he's too young to play without wrecking the game.  It sucks that if you try to do arts and crafts with older kids, the baby will invariably find and eat the googly eyes, buttons, or any other small parts involved.  It sucks that babies can't sit through movies or baseball games or story hours or magic shows - all favorite past times of older kids.

Now don't get me wrong, I am loving every minute of this baby - my last (there, I wrote it for all to see!) - and am actually very grateful that he is a tether to the part of my identity I know (mom of baby) as I feel out the part I don't know (mom of school-aged kids).  But I am also really glad that I didn't wait any longer to have him.  My Bunch is moving on to a new chapter of their lives - one that isn't very baby friendly - and they're dragging me with them.  No way am I wishing away their brother's babyhood, but I'm looking forward to the day when soccer practice is fun for the whole family.  Or even better - when I can realize the Baby Bunching benefit of putting them on the same team!

day in the life of a baby buncher

One reader wrote in asking about a typical Baby Buncher day. The difficult thing is that no day is ever the same because babies/toddlers change so much. One minute all the trial and error has paid off and you get it all right. And the very next day, someone decides they are ready for solids, a big boy bed or hates the stroller and all bets are off again.

So here is one day, an early day, which I actually documented. (Alex was not yet two. Anna was six months old.)  Consider this a Baby Bunching Day in the Life Meme. Post one on your blog and come back and let us know here. We'll repost all the links at the end.

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6:30 a.m.My day started at sunrise. Both kids like to wake as soon as the sun peeks through their window. This has launched me into high gear to find some black out shades quickly before our all-day lightness hits. (We're in Sweden at this point.) So we all got up, changed diapers and began the breakfast routine.

7:00. Alex chows down on cereal. His first breakfast because as you know, he's part Hobbit and will need second breakfast at a most inconvenient time. Anna begins her slow eating. Most mornings I can feed Alex, myself, clean up the dishes all while doling out solids to my youngest at a snail's pace. By the time she's wrapping up her breakfast, Alex is back for more.  

8:30. Anna goes down for a morning nap. Today was Tuesday, which meant it was playgroup day. Whew....only a few hours to kill, and we would be off for at least two hours of easy fun where I just had to sit and drink coffee while Alex played. But I needed to bring a snack to share. I had nothing to bring, so I quickly made some banana muffins. This is highly unusual, but I had the ingredients and it only takes a little time so while Anna napped, I quickly made those. (Considered it an activity with my oldest.) Alex and I read, I got dressed, put on make up (hey, it's a morning out with girlfriends, might as well get dolled up).

10:05. I got Anna up, we got the car loaded up and the kids in their coats and I called my friend to tell her we were, as usual, running late. No answer. Hmmmmm, I thought. That's strange. But we kept getting ready.

10:20. I called again, now it was No answer. Strange, because playgroup started at 10. I ran upstairs to check the email. I read it wrong. Today was not playgroup. It was sledding at the park. Playgroup at her house was NEXT week. Damn! The muffins were made, the kids were ready, I was "make uped," Alex was talking about playing and I needed an activity. I called my friend on her mobile phone to get directions. No answer. ARGH. So I ran back upstairs and got the directions. I was all set to go and my friend called to tell me she was sick and not going and unsure of who was going. This park was a good 20 minutes away and Alex hates sledding so we abandoned the whole plan and I called another friend who was luckily just sitting at home. She asked me to give her 1/2 hour and we could come play.

11:00.. So the three of us went down to our town square and walked around since the sun was out.  Alex would not hold my hand while we crossed the street and threw a tantrum right there with everyone looking at me.

11:30. We went to our friend's house to play and have lunch. I brought muffins so I felt justified a bit in intruding. They played and played pretty nicely until Alex got tired. Alex started pushing and we decided to leave. But not without one last incident where he decided to head butt his friend's face and give her a bloody nose. Nice. After much apologizing and agonizing over the whole thing, we left.

1:00 p.m.Alex was bad the whole way home and I was so relieved to finally get them all down for a nap. Nap they did.

3:15. When everyone got up, I made them all play in bed for a bit because I was not ready for the long afternoon. I could hear Alex reading "Hungry Caterpillar" which I must say, he's able to almost recite. I kid you not! 

Ok, for the afternoon (keep in mind this is Sweden and the sun goes down in February at 4 p.m so we have to get out or lose our minds!), I had to go to the store to get some groceries and get more time added to my cell phone as it had run out. [Note: I realize now this is where I have lost my mind.]

4:00. I loaded the kids back into the car and off we went. We arrived at the cell phone store where we were third in the queue. Who knew it would take so damn long to add just a bit of time on. (I couldn't do it online since I didn't speak Swedish.) Alex was running around destroying the place, and Anna decided she was tired of the stroller and started screaming. So fun.

4:30 Got the time added and ran. We ran to the grocery which is in the mall. Grabbed a few items that I knew I needed, but lost my list. Everyone crying and fussing. Alex screaming to get up and Anna just screaming. I meant to stop and get white wine, which I really wanted right now, but no time.....we ran to the play area fo the mall. At least there he could play and she could drink her bottle. We get there. Alex is excited to play but immediately gets beat up by a 17 month old. He runs to tell me that the little boy pushed him. His mom and I talked for a bit and I explained that he had just spent three timeouts in the morning for the same thing so let her kid "bring it on!"

5:00. Alex finally decided enough was enough and was ready to go, but when I told him it was time he ran to hide from me. Anna was dressed in snowsuit and ready to go. Alex was hiding. We argued about leaving and he cried. She cried. I wanted to cry. I finally got him out of the playhouse and begged to walk to the door. I let him walk. About halfway to the door, he stopped and asked for my phone. I told him if he wanted my phone he would have to sit int eh stroller. No. He threw himself down in th middle of the mall and had a tantrum. As I bent down to pick him up, my period started right then and there....gushed!!!! I was like, shit we have to go right now. I picked him up SCREAMING and everyone looking at me. We walked outside, I strapped him in the stroller and ran to the car.

5:15. We drove home in frustration. And even more frustration when I realized I had to feed everyone. But at least we were home.

5:45. Manage to get some sort of meal on the table for the kids. Clean up and begin baths. In the middle of bathtime, my husband gets home to relieve me for a bit.

7:00. Anna is in bed. Alex follows not too long afterwards.

Do you see where the major issues are here? 1) Why would I make muffins? 2) After a crazy morning, I should have NEVER have gone back out. That was pure stupidity on my part! 3) If I did have to go out, I should not have stopped at the play area in the mall.

Consider this a Baby Bunching day in the life meme. You have been tagged! Post a "typical" or atypical day on your blog, come back and let us know here. We'll repost all the links here to offer some support to other Bunchers:

Baby Times Two: A Day in the Life

All You Need is Love: This was my day

A Bunch of Bensons: A Day in the Life

Home Alone with Kids: A Day in the Life

Family Oliver: A Morning in the Life

A Day in the Life of a New Mom

Lawerence Sandwich: Day in the Life

Michelle's Manical Musings on Mommyhood: We have survived 2 months of having 2 under 2!