Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

outdated baby myths, baby bunching style

We ran across this article yesterday about the 14 most outdated pieces of baby advice. Of course, being a parent of children well beyond 'babies,' we had to check in to see what we had or hadn't done in this list. Funny the difference 16 months can make!

We're going to give you the Baby Bunching version of this this list.

Myth: Infants need to be bathed every day.
The Baby Bunching truth: Ha! The more kids you have close in age the less you want to bathe them. Everyday. We have one friend with 4 bunched kids and #4 was lucky to get a bath once a week. Wipe them down with a cloth and their good. It's the older ones that need the bath.

Myth: Babies sleep best in a room that's silent and dark.
The Baby Bunching truth: Good luck with that. It wasn't until baby #2 that we invested in the sound machine just to drown the noise out from Big Baby.  

Myth: When infants are running a high temperature, rub them down with alcohol to lower their fever.
The Baby Bunching truth:We are unfamilar with this one. We say stick with Tyenol when appropriate.

Myth: Letting your little one stand or bounce in your lap can cause bowlegs later on.
The Baby Bunching truth:Also never heard of this, but we bet you'll let baby #2 in the Jumperoo/Megasaucer WAY earlier than you let the first one!

Myth: Listening to classical music will raise your baby's IQ.
The Baby Bunching truth:We bet this actually soothes everyone so while it may not raise anyone's IQ it will make feeding your Bunch a much more enjoyable experience. Really!

Myth: Let your baby cry it out; if you pick her up whenever she's wailing, you'll spoil her.
The Baby Bunching truth: It won't spoil him/her but it will be the new norm. Everyone must learn to wait.

Myth: Babies should be woken up in the night to have a wet diaper changed.
The Baby Bunching truth: No!!!! Let sleeping babies sleep.

Myth: It's dangerous to immunize your infant if he has a cold or a low-grade fever.
The Baby Bunching truth: Go with the doctor's rec on this. If you have gotten everyone to a check up that includes a shot and you can get it with a cold, just get it so you don't have to drag everyone back.

Myth: Never apply sunscreen to an infant under 6 months of age.
The Baby Bunching truth: Unless you have kids that are 2 and older we're guessing the pool will be a major chore so it won't matter much on this. one. If you do have older kids, then you already know they will be along for the ride no matter what. Sit under the umbrella.

Myth: During the first month of a baby's life, it's critical that all baby bottles and nipples be sterilized.
The Baby Bunching truth: Nah, just wash them with soap and water.

Myth: The safest way to put an infant to sleep is on her stomach.
The Baby Bunching truth: As a mother to one tummy sleeper, we say try your best to get your babe on his back and then after that.....you're on your own.

Myth: Putting rice cereal in your infant's bottle will help him sleep.
The Baby Bunching truth: This just sounds gross, but we know that infants shouldn't have solid food until 4-6 months. Then we all pray your babes are sleeping better.

Myth: It's critical to keep your baby on a strict feeding schedule.
The Baby Bunching truth:If you're OCD like we are, perhaps you did this the first time around. The second time's a charm and realized feeding has no schedule so if they are crying and cranky, pop 'em on a boob.

Myth: Infants need hard-soled shoes to protect their delicate toes and keep their feet properly aligned.
The Baby Bunching truth: Nope, barefoot is best. Who has time to find shoes!

what will your bunch remember?

One of the most frequent questions we are asked (besides questions regarding sleep, eating, strollers and gear) is about how to get Big Baby ready for Little Baby. There are a million and one books and tips out there for getting a child who is less than 2 ready for the next sibling. But really we must admit a two quick things on that matter 1) nothing will really prepare anyone in the household for what is about to ensue 2) your Big Baby will never remember life without Little Baby in it.

So where am I going with this post, you might ask. Well, as I flipped through my Wall Street Journal this morning an article about our earliest memories as kids caught my eye.  According to this, most people can't recall anything that happened before the age of 3 or 4. (It probably makes sense as I can't, but still makes me a bit sad.) Not only will your Big Baby never remember life without Little Baby, but apparently all the other activities that send us spinning in so many directions and the memories we try to create for our kids, could go MIA as well.

Here's what the WSJ article said:  

Researchers asked 140 children, aged between 4 and 13, to describe their three earliest memories, and repeated the exercise two years later with the same children. On average, the 50 youngest children, aged 4 to 6 during the first interview, recalled events from when they were barely 2 years old, as verified by their parents. When they were interviewed two years later, only five of those 50 children mentioned the same earliest memory. By contrast, 22 of the 61 children who were 10 to 13 at the first interview were able to mention the same earliest memory when they were interviewed again two years later.

The article isn't all gloom and doom, but it did provide prospective and definitely made me want to drive home some of the big event s and take more photos to help create the memory later in life.

I know there is more to daily parenting than just trying to make them remember kindergarten field day when they are 18. Obviously, we are rearing children and everything along the way is cumulative and they grow from the experiences, as do we. They may not remember that field day, but they will remember for a few years what happened and that I was there. And that creates of sense of self and a sense of who we as parents. But I must admit the article did just make me slump down a bit in my seat to think that from this amazing weekend we had just had filled with festivals, parties and the pool, each of my child might possibly remember one iota of the weekend (if that at all because I took no photos.)

We'd love to hear your reaction on this article and what you do to help create memories for your kids.

common everyday illnesses: some tips to help you look before you leap

(Please remember once again, we are not doctors or at all related to the medical profession or even play one on TV. We just have lots of experience dealing with illness and doctors. Always consult your physician.)

Our family recently recovered from the illness of the month. This time it was strep. But it always seems to be something--stomach issues, fevers, congestion, sore throats.

While the remedies for all that ails us ranges from prescription meds to "wait it out," one thing is for certain--it sucks to see your kids sick and in pain.

Because of this, I think as parents we sometimes tend to leap before we look. And it never fails to surprise me that year after year, the more experienced (one would think) I get with illness, I still leap too soon.

In reflection on this past bout of sickness, I'd like to share some wisdom I've gained over the past few years to save some of you the hassle of leaping before you look, observe and consult. And my hope is that many of you will chime in as well, since this is collective knowledge.

1) Not all fevers are bad. Thanks to a very helpful nurse very early on, I was reassured that fevers are a sign of fighting infection. A high fever (even up to 104 in toddlers) while a sign of sickness doesn't usually warrant the response I usually have. Which is something like "Oh my God. My kid's brain is going to bake." Apparently, that's not true. My latest doctor told me it bakes around 108. Always good knowledge to have.

2) Tylenol and Motrin is a 'fever reducer' not a 'fever go-awayer.' I believed for many years that once you gave a kid meds the fever would disappear. Again if you have a 103 degree fever, chances are medicine isn't going to make it go away, but it will make it go down so your child can feel better. Whew!

3) Not all ear infections need prescription meds. This once shocked me as well. An ENT in Sweden informed me when my daughter had her second ear infection. The first she was four months old and had a ruptured ear drum and he thought that definitely called for antibiotics. However, four months later when she was struck with pain again, he assured me we had too many antibiotics in our community and that most were viral anyway and to wait it out. Floored by this response, I was surprised that four days later she was better. Now come to find out, doctors here in the states are following suit with a similar recommendation.

4) Strep throat is only the cause of  approximately 30% of sore throats.* I learned this little fact from the nice nurse at the CVS Minute Clinic. (By the way, if you don't know these, check them out!)  For any of you who have taken your preschooler to get one of these strep tests, you know that it sucks for them and you. So look before you leap on this one.

An added note on this: After you've had strep in your house a few times, you'll recognize the pungent smell that comes from it. Stick your child in a room for 5 minutes and come back, if it reeks of some awful bad breath smell, chances are it's strep.

5) Croup sounds scarier than it is. We are veterans of croup. But I am happy to say that after four years of annual croup visits, it has been a long time since that cough has resurfaced in our house. I promise you will panic the first time you hear this cough, and you might even make it to the doctor or ER for this one. But keeping your child calm and comfortable seems to be about the best medicine. There are the cases where you should take them if they can't breathe, obviously. We did have one of our trips to the ER that was semi-warranted, but they assured us that we probably could have gotten him calmed down enough to breathe regularly. 'Probably' wasn't good enough so we went. But that was our last trip to the ER for croup even though we had many more visits from the cough.

6) You'll only make one high-fever ER run. Again, like croup, a fever of 104 in the middle of the night will scare the bejeebers out of you. You'll pack up and fly out the door to the hospital only to be welcomed with a slew of blood work and tests that will make everyone upset and exhausted the following day. Yep, we did it and you will too. We guarantee you'll only do it once. Chalk it up as a learning experience and one to pass along to other moms.

And while cold and flu season is over now, we're positive, something will show up in your house in the future. Remember to stay calm and observe before you leap or sprint to the ER. After all, you probably have another child or two to drag along with you.

*This number was quoted from the nurse.

knowing when to say when (how many babies are enough?)

Family size and spacing can be delicate topics here at Baby Bunching.  Some of us have ended up with larger families than we planned, sooner than we planned.  Others have embraced the blessing of expanding to include twiblings (and beyond), but experienced strong judgements on family planning from family and friends.  In any case, if you've been a parent, at some point you've likely grappled with the question, "How many children is enough?"  

I personally always pictured myself with four of them.  In earlier years, my husband shared that vision, but the addition of our third boy in less than 5 years brought family expansion discussions to a grinding halt.  Too much of a good thing, too soon?  Maybe, although we both agree that our current family dynamics (for all of their challenges) suit us very well and we're quite happy with our brood.  So happy, in fact, that my husband would willingly head in for the snip-snip any day to ensure that things stay this way.

I, on the other hand, have struggled.  I pretty much lost the privilege of EVER sitting down with the delivery of my third child and that took some getting used to (have you noticed that two children can be settled together for short periods of time, but three children are almost never settled at once?).  For the first two years of #3's life, my answer to the prospect of a fourth child would've been an affirmative negative.  In recent weeks, I've been having a lot of internal (and external) dialogue about how great it is that my baby is starting to grow and run fast enough to keep up with the big boys.  And in recent days, I've found myself solidly wanting...just one more baby.

Admittedly, I hit my Advanced Maternal Age birthday a few weeks ago, which has ratcheted up the volume on my ticking biological clock.  And part of the reason I chose to have my children so close together is that the thought of getting the youngest off to kindergarten and starting all over in baby mode does not appeal to me.  With the youngest approaching the 3-year mark this summer, the voice in my head is screaming, "NOW OR NEVER!"  Talk about pressure.

Add that to the fact that I can pretty much guarantee that there are exactly 2.5 people in this world that would actually wholeheartedly celebrate and embrace the news of another baby for me (and none of them are my husband), and I am in a real quandary.

I love my job and it's going great.  I'm steadily adding more hours as my kids get older, so the extra money is also nice.  As the kids get older, it's easier to carve out time to exercise more, spend a little more time with my husband, and (on occasion) farm children out to friends and relatives who are able to manage a few kids (but not a few babies) so that I can spend time with husband, spend quality one-on-one time with kids, work out, organize the house, etc.  

On the flip side, my career will always be there, but I only have a short window in which to birth and raise children.  The first 7 years of that window have flown by in a way that frightens me - so I know some part of me would be grateful for the excuse to make the window a little wider by adding another child.  When the kids are gone, hubs and I will have so much time together we will be sick of looking at each other.  Exercising can be overrated (I always eat more when I work out so it's an exercise in futility, anyway), travel will be there when I retire, and I can hire someone else to clean my house if it means that much to me.  

Of course, a 4th baby would mean I'd probably have to temporarily throw in the towel on work, which would mean less money, which would mean more stress (and no cleaning lady)....you can see the vicious cycle of this thought process.

So what are your thoughts on how to know when enough is enough?  Does anyone out there have a 10-point checklist I can use?  Because my husband totally responds better to analytical data in decision making.

reflections on reflux

Disclaimer: Please remember that we at Baby Bunching do not have medical degrees and we would never, ever suggest that you take our medical advice (especially that involving medication for your child) without the knowledge and support of your pediatrician.  So read the following advice...and then consult your doctor.

Recently, I had a park play date with a Baby Bunching friend whose youngest child (at 5 months old and CUTE as a button!) broke my heart because I think he may be struggling with reflux (gastroesophogal reflux disease, or GERD, in the medical world).  

I say *may* because I feel as though reflux is the mystery ailment of the baby world.  Linda is convinced that EVERY baby has reflux. This is a theory I would support, but for the fact that my eldest child was literally the happiest baby on the block.  After three children (and half a dozen pediatricians along the way), I'm convinced that even pediatricians don't know definitively.  If it looks like reflux and smells like reflux, they'll encourage you to give the reflux meds a try and see if it IS reflux.

My third baby was "diagnosed" with reflux after a particularly high-stress trip to urgent care over Labor Day weekend when he was a little over a month old.  My husband, who had had just about enough of the constant crying, laid down the law and insisted that there MUST be something wrong with the kid and it was inhumane to "wait and see" until regular doctor's hours on Monday morning.  With little reflux diagnostic technology on hand in urgent care on a Saturday night, the pediatrician on call suggested that we give the medicine a try.  I resisted the idea of medication at first, being the type of person that will walk around for 4 days with a  headache before taking an Advil, and I certainly didn't like the idea of a daily dose of anything for my newborn.  But the doctor insisted that the medication was so safe that it was used on preemies and that we should just give it a try and see if it worked.  

It worked.  Just a few hours later, we had an entirely different baby on our hands, and silence that was music to our ears - for the first time in a month.  

Although my mother had previously suggested the possibility of reflux, I poo-pooed the suggestion because the symptoms didn't "match."  Although the baby was fussy, he wasn't projectile vomiting (and in fact, barely spit up), slept in decent stretches, and was appropriately gaining weight.  He nursed ok (although not great, and did better from a bottle once I introduced it around the 3-week mark).  He was just fussy and fidgety every waking hour. It turns out that reflux has a stealth mode - otherwise known as "Silent Reflux" - that doesn't involve any projectile vomiting, but hurts just as much.  And while most babies grow out of it around the 6 to 9-month mark, it makes for a VERY long 6 to 9 months if not diagnosed and treated.  In addition to medication, we were under strict instructions to feed the baby sitting up (as opposed to reclining), leave him sitting up for 30 minutes after each feeding, and put his mattress at an incline.  As you can imagine, these instructions make for some tricky nursing acrobatics, but we made it work (although now I can barely remember how, in all honesty).

In retrospect, I believe that my Baby #2 had undiagnosed reflux.  To this day, I'm overwhelmed with guilt at the notion that not only was he in pain for months, but I let it mess up nursing.  After going dairy-free myself, and then finally moving through soy and the full range of "sensitive tummy" formulas, we finalIy settled on the uber-expensive Alimentum because it was the only thing his little tummy could tolerate.  With him (and his 18-month old older brother in tow), I was in a Baby Bunching haze, quite honestly.  He could've projectile vomited in my face 10 times a day and it probably wouldn't have raised a red flag.   When I stumbled upon a solution that "worked," I didn't question it - I just went with it. For these reasons, I am on a one-woman mission to save all of my mommy friends and their precious darlings from the hell that is reflux. If your baby fusses all the time or never seems "settled,"  consider this friendly advice to ask your doctor (or an objective friend, or a grandma) about the possibility of reflux.  

You can absolutely try going dairy-free, eliminating other gassy foods from your diet and sampling a variety of formulas, but it can take weeks for dairy to work its way out of your system and in the meantime your baby is fussing his way through the "wait and see" approach.  I will admit that I am normally a big proponent of "wait and see" parenting, believing that kids progress differently at different developmental stages and in their own time, and also that some conditions clear up on their own if left alone.  However, this is one situation where if your pediatrician agrees that your baby may be a candidate for reflux medication, it's worth taking a shot at seeing if it works - for your own sanity and the baby's!

reflections: 9 months into baby bunching

By Shannon Block

Let me start by saying, there is a reason that there are a multitude of websites and chat rooms dedicated to the art of having "two under two" (read: two children under the age of two)!  When my husband and I decided to have our kids close in age, we thought something between 18 months apart and 2 years would be ideal because it would give us a chance to have a break before having babies #3 &  #4.  Yes, we were going to have four kids when we started all of this!  While that remains to be seen (we have since decided that we will take the expansion of this family one day at a time), we did manage to have kids #1 (Hadley, now two) & #2 (Jameson, now 9 months) a mere 15 months and 10 days apart.  Wow.  What can I say, we are blessed in this department.

From the moment I was showing with Jameson it opened the flood gates of commentary from strangers on the street and friends and family alike.  If I had a dollar for every time someone told me (unsolicited of course) that I was going to have my hands full - I'd be a wealthy woman.  Instead of pumping me up for the challenge ahead, all this did was completely terrify me.  The thing is, being an only child myself, I was really excited to have the kids close together.  But I was also beyond nervous.  Those websites & chat rooms I mentioned, they scared the crap out of me.  There was so much negative commentary out there about two under two.  So many bitter, cranky women complaining online about how hard their lives were.  I should have ignored all of them and focused on the ones (like the Baby Bunching ladies!) that had good things to say.  But I didn't.  I got totally bogged down by all this negative energy.  So much so, that the whole last 3 months of my pregnancy including the day he was delivered is a complete blur to me.  I barely even remember being there, which now just makes me sad because what a sweet, sweet day that was! 

What I wish I could've told myself back then, is to RELAX and to completely ignore the hype.  What I now know, is that with a 2-year old that is prone to public displays and running for the hills while mommy is behind strapped with a 20 pound baby yelling "come back here NOW!" that, YES, I do have my hands full.  And yes, there are times that this is hard.  Not every outing is a smashing success (success of course equaling a simple trip out of the house with no meltdowns and no running into the street).  And sometimes both kids are crying and I'm tired and I'm covered in all kinds of food, and I'm wishing I were on a beach with a cocktail.  But the words "hard work" and "hands full" no longer have a negative connotation like they did before I became a mom of kids 15 months apart.  Now, I wear those words like a badge of honor -- YES, it's hard!  But it's awesome.  I am so beyond blessed to watch my 2 year old and my 9 month old playing together, hugging each other, wishing the other was there on the rare occasion that they are separated.  This sibling bond that I am watching, helping cultivate, is simply beautiful.
 
Here I sit, 9 months into two under two and I have an overwhelming sense of "I can do this." I know there will be challenges ahead (#2 is about to go mobile and become a strong willed, active toddler himself).  But #1 is getting easier by the day.  Like all things, it's a balancing act, hard times ebb and flow, but you know what, so do the good times.  And those good times -- they are REALLY GOOD!
 
I am not super mom, and I am far from perfect.  And I'm not an expert, but I do have advice! 

The best advice I can give to moms about to embark on 2 under 2 is this: 

• keep your cool
• maintain your sense of humor
• be organized
• have a plan (but let that plan get blown to pieces if need be)
• try to savor every moment of the kids being so little, because while tough at times, it is precious and fleeting as well. 
• Oh, and for the love of God, get both kids on a good sleeping schedule as soon as humanly possible.  It saved my life!  (Both kids sleep 7pm - 7am without any wake ups.  And no, they did not come this way.)
   

*FYI - I have since sworn off all 2 under 2 chat rooms / advice columns, with the exception of Baby Bunching. And I am much happier for it.  And when the day comes that I am pregnant with #3 (maybe :), I am going to smile at every stranger that comments about my hands being full.  Yep, they are full.  Full of love.

having a plan is key

Even as a seasoned Buncher, once in awhile I am reminded of CRITICAL Baby Bunching lessons that no Baby Buncher should ever forget.  Today was one such day.

With the Columbus Day holiday, all three kids were home from school, although hubby had to go into the office.  Life has been pretty crazy lately (and by lately, I mean for the past 6 years), so I had it in my head that we might try to "pop down" to the Children's Museum for some fun and then maybe "lay low" at home for the afternoon.

Both crappy ideas.

Because as you know, there is no such thing as "popping" anywhere with a pack of kids in tow, nor is there any such thing as "laying low" when the adult:child ratio is 1:3.

Without a well-formulated plan, the entire day was, frankly, a giant cluster.  Although everyone was up and at 'em by 7:30 am, I dilly-dallied around until about 9:30 before investigating the children's museum website, only to discover that they are CLOSED on Mondays.  Reeling, I frantically (and unsuccessfully) tried to come up with another plan.  Every idea sucked.  We'd just been to Chick-Fil-A over the weekend, the neighborhoood playground is too hard to manage all three kids without another adult, the library was closed for the holiday, etc. etc.  We I finally decided to have a "quiet" day at home playing in the yard, doing art project, playing games, and maybe watching a show or two.  

HA.

Instead, my kids (including the toddler) spent the whole day alternately tormenting each other and/or me, and trashing my house.  It took 2 attempts to nap the toddler before he finally caved and fell asleep, which was the day's only saving grace because if he hadn't left the house OR napped, it would've been meltdown city by 4 pm - leaving 2 1/2 LONG hours before hubby showed up to rescue me. Without a plan, I was left floundering all day long, darting from one child to another, to meet Constant Needs of the nourishment, entertainment, and personal safety varieties.

Lesson learned here is to always have a plan. Have a plan for the day, for the outing, for the meals, for the vacation, for all of it.  Even if the plan doesn't involve leaving the house, it should include approximate times for meals, naps, playtime, downtime, etc.  I've learned one too many times that letting the day unfold rarely ends well for a Baby Buncher.  And I learned it again today - the hard way.

reflections of motherhood

If this doesn't make you both weep and laugh at the same time, then watch it again when your kids are napping. Some amazing advice for any mom....even us Bunchers. Then let us know what your favorite piece of advice from this was. MIne: Forgive yourself, Prepare to fall in love, Be brave.

daddies do it differently

Today at the park, it was one of those rare occasions when the number of dads monitoring kids on the playground far outnumbered the moms.  As I followed (ok, hovered) over my 2 year-old trying to keep him from breaking his neck on the "big boy" 5-and-up equipment, I noticed what looked to be about a 17-month old boy toddle right up to the top of the equipment with us.  Alarmed because there wasn't a parent in sight, but not really wanting to be an alarmist, I gently grasped his arm and said in a loud, chirpy voice, "Oh, hey, little buddy!  Are you supposed to be up here ALL BY YOURSELF?"  Enter Dad from around the corner, defensively commenting that he was "keeping an eye on things from afar".  Which would've been super useful as the kid was plummeting head-first off eight feet high equipment.

I got my little one down on safe ground just in time to watch Middle be grabbed in a headlock by a (dad supervised) big kid a few years older than him.  My son (rather guiltily) looked as if he wasn't sure whether he was authorized to fight back or if he should burst into tears, so I skipped reading the big kid the riot act and shouted across the playground for them to "cut it out".  The older boy immediately released my child, but his parent never looked up from the paper he was reading.

A few minutes later, I watched a boy age six or so ride onto the playground on a bike, tailed from a distance by his dad.  The kid (who was shoeless, shirtless, and helmetless, I might add) immediately trekked the bike up to the top of the slide and was preparing to ride the bike down the slide.  Again, straddling the fine line between interfering with someone else's parenting and keeping a kid safe, I rose to my feet, preparing to to intervene.  Dad finally sauntered over and, in a very relaxed tone, suggested to the kid that it might not be a good idea to do that.  He then proceeded to politely argue with him for another 5 minutes until the kid finally changed his mind and walked the bike back down to ground level.  

A few minutes later, as my kids were skipping stones into the giant retention pond disguised as a lake that was near the playground, another dad allowed his two small boys to wade down to the mouth of the tunnel leading to the pond so they could check things out.  When my kids asked why the couldn't go too, I politely gritted my teeth and muttered something under my breath about how the lake looked pretty, but was filled with poo and other nasty stuff.

We trekked back to the playground, passing a dad with a beer in his hand and a spoon in his kid's ice cream dish, reassuring me that sometimes dads DO know what they're doing.  We arrived back at the playground just in time to see the (once again unattended) toddler toddle right into crazy stunt boy's bike and knock it over onto himself.  Both dads moved pretty fast that time.

After a few hours of monitoring not only my kids, but those of every other mother not represented on the playground, I was exhausted.  I'm really not sure why I felt it was my duty to keep tabs on them, except to say that my own friends have informed me that they have saved my children's lives on two separate occasions while my husband was ostensibly providing "supervision" in my absence.  Also, I know for a fact that he lets them goof off on our driveway either in their pajamas or even in their underwear one time, according to my neighbor.

My husband (and, it appears, most males) is: 1) far more laid-back than me; 2) completely unable to foresee the wide array of hazards that potentially exist in a given situation; and 3) consistently overestimates our children's physical abilities as well as the age-appropriateness of activities.  In my opinion, this is a deadly combination of qualities, particularly for a Baby Bunching parent who must be constantly on alert.  He allows my children to explore in ways that I never would, which I only learn about because they slip up and tell me once in awhile - he would never risk bearing my wrath by telling me himself.  God love the man who has to hear every time either A) he leaves the house with my kids or B) I leave him at the house with my kids that I will never, ever forgive him if something happens to them on his watch.  Never mind the fact that if we're actually keeping score, they've had far more injuries on my watch than his. 

I am admittedly stereotyping dads here, which I totally own.  There are exceptions to every rule and it could be that in your family daddy is the OSHA Inspector, while you're the good-time-gal.  I begrudgingly admit that both types of parents are needed - otherwise you wind up with a kid covered from head to toe in helmets and padding, but lacking any sort of physical agility, confidence, or the kind of resilience that comes only from trying and failing.  In that respect, today's playground excursion was illuminating for me.  But don't tell my husband.

remember your 'bigs' are still little

I was at a dear friend's house today helping her out with her four kids (four under 6 to be exact) while she was babysitting two more for a week. Insane? Yes, I think so, but that is another story.

Her youngest is 5 months old. Truth be told, what she needed from me this week more than anything was just another set of hands, so I tried to step in and do what I could. I took the baby in my arms and moved about helping other kids and getting her dishwasher unloaded--all with baby in tow. (Hey, I still got it!) The baby showed signs of getting tired--looking away, whining, rubbing eyes--and I offered to put baby in bed. Funny, how things don't change. A little swaddling, a few figure 8 swings on the side and baby was out like a light. As I watched him suck away on the paci, I realized my son was one month older than this baby when we found out OUR Baby #2 was on the way. This baby who still needed 2-3 naps day. This baby who barely ate solid food. This baby who still wasn't crawling.

There is one thing consistent with all older siblings of a Bunch: they are forced given the opportunity to be big brothers/sister faster than the rest. Many older siblings are weaned earlier knowing another little one is on the way. Perhaps they are moved out of a crib quicker since Baby #2 will need it. They might even say goodbye to a bottle or paci before we they may be ready.

When you're going through Baby Bunching for the first time, the reference point for age-appropriateness may be blurred, and what the books say may or may not apply since you're essentially working with two babies.  The word "toddler" seems to imply the next stage--moving from baby to child. But like the word "tween," I think we need to realize there often is no defining beginning or end.

Now looking at this phase from the other side, a toddler (as all our kids were when Baby #2 entered the world) is still little. As "big" as we force them to be because they have to be for us to survive, we must remember they are still babies, too. When it comes to comfort items such as pacis, loveies, bottles past the recommended time, we say let them be little. They are forced to grow up faster than their non-Bunched peers and a little bit of baby love might be just what they (and you) need.

This post is simply a bit of ramblings from me realizing that I may have forced my Big to be big a little sooner than I would have like.