Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

gymboree dropout: accept it and move on

Like we mentioned yesterday, the motive behind baby/toddler classes isn't solely for baby and tot's development. They also are for moms to socialize and commiserate. We wish establishments would understand that and hone in on making their classes more Baby Bunching friendly.

Once you are ready to leave the house (and believe us, you will be), in the early days of Bunching your activities will likely center around your older child’s interests and possibly the younger one’s schedule.  Your oldest may still be registered for Gymboree, KinderMusic, Little Gym or some other seemingly simplistic baby classes. And like we all did, you'll make at least one attempt to continue on as business as usual.

We’ll be honest with you, most of these classes are more fun with one baby than two and you might find yourself reassessing and begging off from Gymboree for a while. There’s nothing like sprinting through Little Gym to catch your toddler as he tumbles off the side of the slide, only to jostle the baby awake from her nap in the Baby Bjorn. And nothing says a fun music class like an infant screaming her head off in the middle of the morning “Hello” song.  Do you see where we think someone might jump on this for a business endeavor?  Even the ones that do have sibling options usually don’t start until the youngest sibling is a little older, and we found the same super-sweet teacher who just loved teaching your Big’s class at six months old does not appreciate having a six-month old in the two-year old class.  Not to mention that most places charge for double duty registration.

Welcome to the wonderful world of “Baby Bunching is Not Cheap.”  All of the sudden $400 a semester for two people who aren’t verbal to take singing classes starts to feel a little silly.

Take our advice, even though we know brochures are compelling and may lure you into enrolling both kids, take a mini hiatus from structured activities that require payment and a complex refund process. Believe us when we say saving that money now will be SO worth it later when you can enroll both kids in the 4 to 6 year-old tumbling class at one time and sit in the park having a coffee while both kids are supervised and entertained. Ahhhhh.....those are good days to look forward to so hang in there.

We'd love to hear your stories about managing baby and tot during some of these structured classes. We've heard some pretty amusing ones so I'm sure you all have some fun ones to add.

how's your social life?

This week on Baby Bunching, we'll be devoting the week to your social life. Yep, that's right ladies, your social life. If you're new to Baby Bunching, you may wonder when you'll get your social life back in between finding time to pee. If you're an experienced Buncher, you'll recognize that your social life is really centered around your kids and their interests. And I'm here to tell you that at 7 and 6, my social life is still 99% wrapped around school, soccer, music lessons and swim.

We are the first to admit the #1 reason we dragged our kids to the playground or some silly library story time when they were young was because WE needed the socializing. And we're pretty sure anyone who sees two Baby Bunching moms trying to cram 2 toddlers and 2 babies into a booth at Panera with all the usual whining, crying, fussing and overpowering gear, must certainly not be a parent. Because any Buncher will tell you we're not trying to go to lunch for our kids to eat expensive mac and cheese--it's for us to be around other moms.

This week we're going to talk about socializing, as well as organized activities, unstructured outings, mom's night outs and finding ways to just get out with your brood even if it's just to Starbucks. We know that once Baby #2 arrives whatever fabulous things you're doing with #1 will be more difficult to do with two. Now that you have two nap schedules to work around and various feeding needs, you'll most certainly have to readjust your activities and expectations.

babiators giveaway

Hello!  Yes, we’re still alive!  Our paid jobs ramped up for both of us right about the time that school let out for the summer, and Cara had an unexpected move thrown in, so all of that has made for a pretty crazy past few months.  We’ve totally been neglecting Baby Bunching this summer and we’ll feel pretty bad about it, so to make it up to you we’re doing a giveaway!  In the meantime, bear with us and we should be back to speed in the fall once our Bunches are back in school.

Y’all know we’re suckers for accessories (for kiddos AND moms) and our latest discovery is Babiators.  We’re willing to bet that most of you are pretty diligent about sunscreen and hats in the summer heat wave, but how many of us think about how the UV rays are affecting our little one’s eyes?  Or maybe we’ve thought about it, but blown through so many broken pairs of cheap children’s sunglasses that we’ve given up.  Enter Babiators – safe, durable, awesome eyewear for little ones ages 9 months and up.  Babiators are made of pliable rubber and designed to withstand the wear and tear of playground horseplay and twibling squabbles.  Plus, they’re BPA, phthalates, and lead-free, so no need to freak out if they creep into the curious mouths of babes.  The good folks at Babiators are so confident these shades will hold up that they even offer a one-year Wear and Tear guarantee for all Babiators.   They come in two sizes (small and large) and four colors (Black Ops, Blue Angels, Rockstar Red, and Princess Pink).  At $19.99 a pair, they’re a little pricier than we would normally spend on shades for kids, but how many broken pairs of $5 sunglasses have you had to replace?

We’ve got a pair of Blue Angels to give away and they could be yours!  Since we could use some inspiration this summer, drop us an email at [email protected] with a burning question or post topic you’d like to see in the next few weeks, and we’ll enter you in a random drawing to win theBabiators.  If you send us an ACTUAL post on a Baby Bunching topic, we’ll enter your name in the drawing ten times as thanks AND put your post up as a guest poster.  Send in your question by Friday, August 5 to be entered in the drawing!

adding some structure to your summer fun

 
Summer has been in full swing at Cara's house for a few weeks now, and Linda's starts this week!  If your kids are in preschool or school, the start of summer marks a (usually welcome) change in the routine.  But even if they aren't, somehow summer implies permission to take things a little slower - put your feet up with a cool drink, blow off cooking dinner in favor of sandwiches and salads, hit the pool, or just watch the kiddos run through the sprinkler.  

Having said that, y'all know that Bunches of all ages do better when they have A) structure and routine and B) things to do!  A little bit of freedom is good, but a too much of a good thing will be your undoing, we promise!

To that end, at the Fox household we kicked summer off with a two-pronged approach to structure.  One is a daily/weekly schedule that lays out things like who's at camp, when we have swim team practice, playdates, etc.  Although we're flexible on scheduling, we try to stick to a routine that involves swim practice/swimming the am when it's cooler, lunch, quiet time while the baby naps, and then playdates/indoor arts and craft, library, children's museum, or a little tv/computer in the blazing hot afternoon hours.  Bedtime is a little later than normal, but generally speaking we are *trying* to stick to some sort of regular routine and keep structure in our day.

The other (much more fun) thing we did was come up with our Fox Family 2011 Summer Fun list.  These are all the things we want to do this summer!  On weekdays or weekends when we've got a gap in the schedule, we consult the list and pick something to do!  I wish I could take credit for this brilliant idea, but I totally stole it from a Baby Bunching friend and it works like a charm - AND works with kids/families of all ages.  So get out your calendar and list-making materials and schedule yourself some FUN over the next few months.  Happy summer!

surviving the pool: 101

During my most recent trip to Austin, my very dear Baby Bunching friend Karla expressed some concerns about how to make it to the pool with her 6-month old and 2-year old. I brought along my very capable (and somewhat swimming) 7- and 5-year olds for a trial run to help her out.

Here are a few bits of advice we came up for what to expect for the pool trip:

Go when the time is right. If one of your kids still takes a morning nap, then head to the pool the minute Little Baby wakes from morning nap. Have lunch. Exhaust them both. Keep them awake for the ride home and toss them both in for a nap in the afternoon. The only trick is to know when to leave so you don't have overtired kids. Otherwise, opt for after the afternoon nap. Bring dinner and even PJs. Shower people at the pool if you want, have them fed and toss them into bed at home. Otherwise, skip the bath and call it a night.

Don't be afraid of the carrier. That's right the baby carriers. If you have a babe who's still little and a toddler who's still in the baby pool or shallow end don't worry about the swim diapers for the wee one. Put him in the Bjorn/Ergo and enter the pool. Surprise! These can actually get wet and how much swimming are you doing with a 2-year old anyway? Baby can be diapered and all (depending on your pool) and you can just wade in knee to waist deep and enjoy the cool water while toddler splashes about.

Bring a friend. We know you can't always coordinate with other Bunchers, but if you can have at least one other mom to spot you during your excursion, we promise your life will be so much easier.

Don't be afraid to pack up. During my trip to the pool with my friend of 1 hour, I saw at least 3 moms with kids come and then go. You may think you have to stay to make the trip worth it, but you don't. It's OK to bail 30 minutes in and go home if kids aren't happy. We promise.

Also, check back on previous posts about what to expect, what to bring, and great safety tips for a few more suggestions on how to make the pool fun this summer.

just the right jogging stroller a must for baby bunchers on the run

In seven years of parenting, I am loathe to admit that although I've used the heck out of my assorted jogging strollers, I've only actually used them to jog once or twice.  This is due to a host of excuses reasons (I'm tall so the stroller interferes with my stride, I cheaped out and went with BabyTrend joggers which are great for walking but not so great for running, the stroller always veers slightly to the left  - probably because I cheaped out, and most importantly - I could barely ever propel my running self forward more less two additional smaller selves).  

Having hit my "life" stride in recent months, I've also gotten back into my workout groove and have a nice running routine in place.  Not coincidentally, the biggest two of my Bunch are onto scooter phase (less babies=more personal time, are you serious - who knew?!?!).  Now that I'm downsized back into the single jogger AND in better shape, I decided to strap the Caboose into the jogger this morning and venture out to my favorite running spot. He proceeded to cling to the sides of the stroller in fear howling, "It's rolling too fast!  It's rolling too fast!"  It was amateur hour on the running trail this morning, let me tell you.

This morning's exercise left me wondering - if I'd known then what I know now when I bought my very first BabyTrend jogger (because it was the most affordable one available), would I have invested a little more in a higher quality stroller to assist with ease of workouts?  I see lots and lots of moms on the trail with double joggers (mostly of the BOB variety, although I know Linda adored her Mountain Buggy), so I know that there are some of you out there that can both stick to a workout routine with two babies AND integrate them into said routine.  My hat is off to you in a MAJOR way.  

Y'all know one of our favorite topics here at Baby Bunching is strollers, so do tell - what's your favorite jogging/workout stroller and why?  And is it worth the splurge to get a stroller that works WITH you instead of against you in your workout?

baby bunching Q/A: exhausting your toddler

This question arrived just in time for our weekly Q&A.

Q: I have an 18 month old & 2 month old. My question is how do exercise your older child when you're alone with both? Before my daughter was born I'd take my son to the playground & he did a class at The Little Gym. Now he isn't getting the physical activity he once got & it seems to be affecting his ability to sleep. All feedback is greatly appreciated!

A: Oh, we never want anything to interfere with anyone's sleep so let's get on this question. First off, unless you're going to get a sitter, skip places like Little Gym with your toddler for a long while (until you can get both kids into the same class). I have a very vivid memory of a Little Gym class with my 18-month old son and my daughter who was about the same age as yours in the Baby Bjorn screaming her head off. I never went back.

You have a few options here of places to visit with toddler and baby to exhaust your older one:

1) Playgrounds. Remember that not all playgrounds are created equal so find a very toddler-friendly one and do what you can in the great outdoors with baby in the stroller, sling or carrier. They may be shorter trips than you're used to, but meet up with some friends so you have some helps spotting your toddler. He'll be tired when he's done.

2) The pool. It's summer now and while your wee one may not be ready for fun in the sun your toddler would probably love the play in the baby pool. Get some fun toys for the pool, have the baby again in a carrier or stroller and go until someone gets fussy.

3) Nature centers, farms or gardens. Bring the stroller along and let your toddler just go hog wild by running. You may have to run to keep up with him, but he'll be exhausted.

4) Backyard playdate. Even if you don't have a backyard, you probably have a friend who does. I always found yards, with friends of course, to be the best exercise for me. That meant baby could hang out, be changed and fed in privacy without too much sprinting and we might even be able to enjoy a cup of coffee while they played.

 If you can't get out to exercise, have him help you fill the laundry basket with several trips back and forth or have your own at-home dance party. Remember that this phase is short and your toddler will exhaust from normal everyday stimulation. Before you know it you'll be chasing after him down the street as he takes off on his scooter with little one right behind. Then you'll be getting the exercise.

 

hold-on handles can help get your bunch out to enjoy the spring

We scored a great Baby Bunching discount from Greater Than One Kids, the manufacturer of Hold-On Handles. They've offered a 20-percent discount to our readers (see code below) for their Hold-On Handles. If you aren't familiar with this stroller accessory, we recommend you check it out, especially those of you in transition between stroller riders and completely independent walkers. These simple and colorful handles are the first stroller accessory and walking rope for up to 3 children. We first previewed this last year for our Baby Bunching readers. Perhaps some of you remember when we asked for testers for their awesome product. Since then, they have taken your feedback and launched internationally. (Also, if you were one of the original testers, let us know what you thought!)

Why we love the concept of Hold-On Handles:

• Keeps one to three kids within arm's reach, but doesn't look like those embarrassing harnesses, which we have considered using many times.
• Easily snaps onto strollers (or better yet shopping carts!) or can be worn comfortably on mom’s wrist. Children can be safely active.
• Comfortable parent wrist strap that adjust. Everything for Baby Bunchers should always adjust.
• Kids love feeling independent and not strapped in.
• An added bonus, it's all safe and lead free and non toxic which means your baby can chew on it too. We can't promise that they're clean from your toddler's hands though.

To purchase Hold-On Handles and redeem your discount, visit www.greaterthanonekids.com and enter BUNCH20 at check out.  Valid thru May 15, 2011.  Maybe this will help you get out and about and enjoy some fabulous spring weather.

Hold-On Handles are also available at Independent Retailers Nationwide, Buy Buy Baby (all stores and website), Amazon.com, and Diapers.com

(Baby Bunching only reviews items that we deem appropriate and targeted for our readers. We were not compensated nor given free product by the company. We just think this product is a really awesome idea.)

teaching the three Rs: outings

When we first began writing the book (oh, we'll let you know how that's going at some point), we developed a quick and easy framework for planning (and getting through) just about anything. We call it the Baby Bunching Framework for Success or the Three Rs.

1) Review the situation at hand, whether it’s an eating, sleeping, or playtime need. Take a quick assessment of who has the most dire need, available gear and/or supplies, and possible escape plans.  Don’t forget to take into consideration your kids’ temperaments at that moment (who is exhausted and beyond reasoning, who could be pacified the quickest, who is generally more easygoing, etc.)  This is your research/information gathering step, and you will use it to develop your plan of attack.  We’ll cover issues to consider when conducting your assessment in each of these situations and more.

2) Routine. Establish one and refer to it.There is a reason preschools and daycares function on strict schedules (more on how you can use this to your advantage later) – kids of all ages thrive on routine and structure.  We’ll teach you tricks for identifying natural patterns and routines which emerge and also how to tweak them once they’re established. 

3) Reassess. Just when you have it down and life is going great, we promise something will change (growth spurts, potty training, illness, dropping naps, outgrowing the baby carrier, you get the idea).  What worked yesterday may not work tomorrow, so don’t get locked into thinking the way it is today is the way it has to stay.  We’ll teach you how to recognize these changes, respond and adapt accordingly.

Here's how you use it for a sample outing with your Bunch. We thought this would be a great one to start with since we talking about outings yesterday.  

SITUATION: You’re out of diapers and you need a gift for a birthday party tomorrow, and your husband is out of town.  You have no choice – you have got to take your Bunch on the errand. Target seems like the most logical place where you can get diapers, the gift and probably milk.  

Review:  Everyone has been fed, watered, and napped, but you still pack a snack for distraction purposes.  You always keep the double stroller and the sling in you’re trunk.  Load everyone up and you’re off!

Routine: When you go to Target, you usually put the baby in the sling and your toddler in the cart, but baby is getting too big for the sling.  He isn’t quite big enough for the two-seater cart.  On the way, you ended up having to stop for gas, and while you were there, thought you’d get the car washed since it is covered in so much dirt you can barely see out windows.  You’ve arrived at Target, but you’re now behind schedule and running dangerously close to the next scheduled nap.

Reasses:  Since baby is a bit too big for the sling and not big enough for the cart, you’re gonna have to bust out the double stroller for this trip, which sucks because you can’t fit a lot of stuff in the cargo bin.  Doesn’t really matter anyway, because you’re racing against the clock – you used precious “happy time” at the car wash and you’re on borrowed time now.  Load both kids in the double stroller and immediately head for diapers.  Toddler is already complaining as you head there, so slide him a few animal crackers.  Baby starts to fuss (you’re coming up on a feeding), so pick a QUICK toy for the birthday gift – no time to stress over the perfect gift.  Proceed immediately for the checkout and don’t forget a gift receipt in case your quick toy selection sucks.  When you get to the car, load everyone up, slide toddler a few more animal  crackers and nurse baby in the parking lot. No sense listening to baby scream all the way home, and if he is quiet, toddler may sack out in his seat and you can just carry him to his bed when you get home.  Sure, you’ve got “undone” items on your Target list, but you have the critical ones, along with a baby now with a full tummy and possibly a sleeping toddler. 

Successful outing - mission accomplished.

baby bunching Q/A: getting out of the house with baby + toddler

Q: Any advice on how to get out of the house successfully with a 14 month old and newborn?

A: Planning. Planning. Planning. Getting out of the house with your kids is a learned skill. Some days you will get it totally right. Some days you will need to give up and go home. But most days will be a combo of the two. Planning your trip will be the best way to get you out and back in one piece without any tears. 

We are reposting some of our tips because we all need to be reminded, especially me on the food issue as I pushed my Bunch (7 and almost 6) too far last week on no food and had to pay the piper in the end with two crying kids. Always come prepared. 

Definition of a Successful Outing: An excursion outside the realm of one’s abode—whether a walk down the street or a trip across town on the subway—where no child is in tears, hurt, hungry, left behind or locked in car; where mom is not in tears, hurt or needing a drink; where at least one of the outing’s goals is “accomplished;” and at least two of members of the family come home smiling. 

This may seem like a tall order to fill. Or you may be thinking that you don’t know what the hell is wrong with our disorganized asses, but all of YOUR outings will be successful.  Either way, we promise that you need the advice we are about to provide.

The three most important skills for planning and executing successful outings are: 

1) Developing your plan. A few questions to consider:
•     Transportation.  Are you walking, driving, or taking public transportation?  This will determine what kind of stroller you should take. With kids this young, you need something to carry everyone in--sling, carrier, stroller. Always.
•     Ease of navigation.  Will it be crowded?  Will there be ramps for your stroller?  Will you have to walk a long distance across a busy parking lot?  Again, all factors that determine what kind of “wheels”, slings, or baby carriers you should bring.
•     Proximity to food.  Can you buy age-appropriate (bonus points for nutritious) food for all parties if someone starts to break down or do you need to bring your own?  And never, EVER assume that you will be able to complete an outing without food.  Always, always, always have a healthy, yummy snack for all children on hand – you never know when you will have to buy time with a handful of animal crackers (yeah, yeah – we all said we never do it – get over it.)  If your outing will encompass a meal time, be sure you have plenty of food on hand, plus one extra snack beyond what you think you will need.  Don’t forget sippy cups/bottles for all! Did we mention lots of snacks?
•     Quality of destination’s baby-proofedness.  Whether you are going over to a childless friend’s house for dinner or to the mall, think realistically about what you will need to keep your little ones not only entertained, but safe.  We recommend always having some way to either strap all parties into a chair/seat of some sort or wear them on your body, in case you get desperate.

2) Having a Backup Plan. Now that you’ve packed your 63-piece luggage set with everything you need to make a “quick” trip to the drugstore, be sure you have a backup plan.  What will you do if you get there and it’s too crowded and your kids wig out or you can’t keep track of them?  Or if somebody woke up too early that morning and are so tired by the middle of the outing that they are acting like hellacious beasts?  You gotta be prepared for all these scenarios because you will encounter one or more of them at some point.  You need to be flexible in case things don’t go according to plan (and they frequently don’t).  This may mean accepting a substitute – product, outing location, whatever.  Or it may mean scoping out the nearest exit.  Which brings us to….

3) Recognizing When to Cut Your Losses. Sometimes it’s just not worth it.  If your kid(s) is so tired/hungry/bored that he is a fussy nightmare and no one is having any fun or getting anything accomplished, do yourself a favor and go home.  Who cares if you drove across town to treat your kids to the children’s museum – if they’re not having any fun, it’s not worth it anyway.  If you’re at Target and you’re only three items into your list, get only the most critical things you need (i.e. the diapers and the laundry detergent) and come back for the rest another time.  Which reminds us – with any outing, always, always do the most important thing that you came for very first, so that if things go awry and you have to bail, you at least got the most important thing accomplished.

 Enjoy your outing as much as you can. Take pleasure knowing that each time you get it right and each time you get it wrong, you get wiser and more experienced. And try, please try, to do all necessary errands if possible on the weekend when you have extra hands or even get the chance to go alone. This way the weekday trips are just trips to venture out into the world with your Bunch, for fun, shall we say.