Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

baby steps for baby bunchers in the new year

Typically, I am squarely with Linda in the anti-resolution camp, but this year my hand has been forced.  Between the addition of child #3, a husband who works insane hours and is barely home during the week, starting my own company a year ago, and the start of kindergarten last fall for child #1 (which somehow became an entire-family experience), I have pretty much been spinning out of control for the past year or so.  I have been beating up on my body quite a bit - too much caffeine, too much sugar, too much snacking/grazing instead of meals, too much wine, and not enough sleep and exercise.  No wonder I've been feeling like I'm running on empty! 

I'm sure there are many of you in this same boat because one of the occupational hazards of Baby Bunching is that it is a very physical job to mother very young children.  Make that multiple young children and you're constantly hopping in an effort to feed, water, clothe, bathe, entertain, and monitor little ones who can't do much for themselves. 

While I'm staunchly opposed to setting myself up for failure by making resolutions I know I can't keep, something has got to change when it comes to taking care of myself.  And honestly, I have so much to work on that if I'm actually gonna change it and keep it that way, I've got to do it with baby steps.  So I made a few small goals for myself.  Somehow I'm under the impression that if I write them down for the whole world to see, I might actually STICK to a few of them, so here goes:

• Eat breakfast every day.
• Scale back on the caffeine by drinking 1-2 cups of regular out of the pot hubby makes and then refilling my cup with decaf.
• Go back to 1 Diet Coke a day, a habit I successfully adhered to for 15 years and only recently broke for some reason.
• Sit down and eat lunch and dinner.  It only takes 10 minutes.  Let people cry if I have to.  I deserve to eat, for God's sake.
• Would like to go back to my rule of 1 treat per day, which I have never successfully adhered to.  But I CAN adhere to 2 treats per day.
• PLAY with the kids (without multi-tasking, checking my BlackBerry or doing anything else) for an hour after school.
• Exercise a little each day.  My previous, physically-fit self always believed that it wasn't a workout unless you could commit at least an hour to fit in cardio and strength training and be drenched in sweat at the conclusion.  My new, maternal self has finally realized that something is better than nothing.  20 minutes a day of either is a start. 
• Wine only on weekends.
• Bed no later than midnight during the week.

None of these are earth-shattering, but they're all a (baby) step in the right direction.  Do you have just one or two little changes you'd like to make this year?

finding 'me time' in a baby bunching world

"Me Time" can be a bit ambiguous. To everyone it means something different and to everyone the amount of time needed is directly proportional to the amount to time your youngest probably naps. Am I right?

Me Time can be anything: A shower, a hot bath, TV, Facebook time, talking on the phone, working out, taking a walk, reading a book, skimming a book, staring at the wall or meeting a friend for coffee.

We all have our guilty pleasures--things that get us up in the morning and keep us going from day to day.

In a world where you're doing baby and toddler, toddler and toddler, toddler and preschooler with two or more kids, Me Time isn't just a "nice to have" it's a necessity!

 Me time leads to Mommy Confidence, according to Kimberley Clayton Baine, the GoToMom.

But finding time in the day for this, can take some work. No longer does it mean big chunks of time carved out for you to laze about the pool with a book, you have to find a way to survive everyday on little bits of this time. Even if it means getting out of the car and taking 10 big deep breaths and enjoying the quiet BEFORE you get everyone out and into the house. (No, don't walk too far from the car, but we are saying it's OK to take a moment before you unleash the beasts.) Although I do have to give major props to Baby Buncher Tara who gets her quiet time walking to the mail box--from her car--with all four of her bunch safely strapped in. She reads the mail on the way back to the car in peace.

The best way to carve out this time is during naptime. Eventually you will get naps to overlap. And when you do, the first thing to consider is "what can I not do when the kids are awake?" For me this meant working. I worked part time from home since my second was born--and even at only a few hours each week, it provided me the time to do what I love--write. So the minute kids are down for a nap, I enjoy lunch on my own and hit the computer.

Do what you love during these few moments of quiet time. If doing laundry (in quiet) helps you reflect and become centered, then by all means go forth and fold! As you adjust to your new life as a Baby Buncher, you'll learn to grab those "Me Time" moments in smaller bits. Sometimes even coffee with the girls while toddlers destroy the living room can be counted if baby is sleeping in the other room and your friends don't mind mass destruction. Do make sure you're at least eating something unhealthy while this is going on if you're going to count moments like this.

Even with catching a moment here and there when you can, make sure you carve out real time during the week that is just for you. While at work, really TAKE your lunch break away from the office. Put the kids to bed one evening and head out for a shopping trip. Escape one afternoon to a bookstore to get coffee and actually read a book. 

what moms really do at the gym

The one thing that never ceases to amaze me is the number of moms at the gym on any given weekday morning--the classes are nearly full, every cardio machine is packed and every lane of the pool is taken.  Are these women really there to pump iron or just sweat out their frustrations from the morning? Maybe. Are these women training for a marathon or just losing baby weight? Perhaps I think the dirty little secret is a great gym membership includes free babysitting. And if you’re fortunate enough to have a nearby gym like a neighborhood YMCA (or some such equivalent), you get a pool, sauna and maybe even a coffee bar and spa with Wifi to boot.

I love working out. But I will attest that the gym is often my ticket to some peace in my own head or at least a mental break. Sometimes I will just walk on the treadmill and watch trash TV. Sometimes I will completely write a blog post in my head (then scribble it down on the aerobics schedule) on my way to pick up my kids. Sometimes I will daydream. Sometimes I will zone out. Sometimes I read a book on the stationary bike.

My kids are safe, playing, having a great time, and I can have a few minutes to get my blood flowing and find peace or at least some version of that.

So when I saw my friend there today, and we chatted on this topic, she relayed to me one of the funnier stories I’ve heard related to moms-going-to-great-lengths-for-a-break. Last week there was a young baby crying, and it took the staff 45 minutes to find the mom. Where was she? In the sauna, reading a book. Clearly the last place anyone would look. Silly mom for not writing down where she would be (not recommended), but good idea on a place to escape.

So during my Baby Bunching years, this is what I’ve seen and heard from moms looking for their own time out at the gym:

• A mom put her oldest child (still a toddler) in the childcare and sat on one of the comfy couches in the lobby to nurse her baby.  (Another mom admitted later she did this almost daily because it guaranteed her a good feeding without the interruption of her toddler.)
• A mom came to walk her newborn in the stroller--and sometimes it was a Baby Bjorn--around the track (which also sits above the childcare center) so she could get exercise, put the baby to sleep and keep her other kid happy.
• One mom had a long night of all three kids being up for various reasons—she took a shower at the gym after walking on the treadmill and zoned in the locker room for a good 15 minutes (almost falling asleep) until she felt better.
• Another mom--very pregnant--was still chugging along on the treadmill because it was still a rest from dealing with her other two kids.
• A mom needed to get some work done, used the Wifi in the lobby, grabbed a coffee and sat down to work for an hour.
• A mom was trying to finish a book club book and she plunked both kids in the nursery and set off to finish the book on the bike at a book-reading pace. The same mom also used the time to return phone calls on her cell phone so her two children wouldn't interrupt the calls.
• A mom (me) finally realized I needed a break after a week of husband out of town. I worked out, showered and sat to read a magazine with a cup of coffee…until my daughter caught me during a potty break.
So don't judge your neighbor who's always at the gym and not losing all the weight. She might be working out or simply "working it out."

This post was originally posted at DC Metro Moms.

finessing the feeding frenzy (for mom!)

We're guessing that you spend a LOT of time dealing with food for your Bunch - nursing, planning, preparing, feeding, cleaning up, etc. etc. As moms of very young children with tiny tummies, feeding is probably our single most time-consuming activity (after changing diapers?)  But how much time do you spend feeding yourself?

When the youngest of my Bunch was about 6 months old, I actually weighed almost 10 pounds LESS than I had when I got pregnant with my first baby.  I would have been really happy if I could claim this was due to healthy eating and exercise.  But no - instead it was due to sheer lack of time to eat.  Babies have a tendency to keep us hopping with their Constant Needs, and TWO babies meant that I barely had time for a sip of water, more less a full meal. 

I'm almost always hungry because I make food but can't seem to finish eating it before I'm interrupted, or I think about making food for myself but I'm too tired to actually DO it, or (worse!) I've had a chance to consume food but I had to do it so quickly that my body doesn't even realize it has eaten!  Frankly, it's easier just to stick to a liquid diet of Carnation Instant Breakfast, coffee, and Diet Coke, than try to figure out what, when, and how I'm going to eat.  I am so sick of worrying about food for others that I literally cannot even deal with it for myself.

It's all fine and good to talk about how we moms should take better care of ourselves (and we should!), but the reality is that we probably won't until our Bunches are a little older because there is NEVER.. ENOUGH. TIME.  So instead, let's share our favorite tips for feeding ourselves as best we can, given the circumstances.  Here are a few of my favorites:

• Carnation Instant Breakfast, as mentioned before.  Mornings are the worst at my house and there is no way I'm gonna get to eat.  Instant Breakfast can be made with skim or whole milk and easily paired with the uber-portable (and healthy!) banana.  This has been my Breakfast of Champions for five and a half years now.  I also went on a bottled smoothie kick for awhile, but I just like the chocolate better. 
• Fruit and veggie trays.  I take time to cut up fruit for my kids but never eat it myself.  If I buy a pre-made fruit/veggie tray, I will eat it.  There is no method to this madness.  Just telling you what I do. Linda just buys baby carrots and calls it good with those and some hummus.
• Water. I fill up a huge bottle every morning and then drink the whole thing, refill it, and drink the whole thing again - between the hours of 5 and 10 pm.  At least I'm getting my daily allotment of water - so what if I'm drowning myself because it's all at once.
• Popcorn.  It's a snack!  It's a meal!  Low-cal and super filling, it's always a good choice.  Just be careful you don't leave a trail of un-popped kernels - choking hazards for the wee ones.
• Hummus.  Goes with carrot sticks from the veggie tray or whole grain crackers from the box in the pantry.  Plus the kids love it too.  Yum.
• Cereal.  I treat myself to a junk food box (Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms, etc.) every once in awhile and eat it as "dessert" before I go to bed.  Cereal is good for you, even if it's coated in sugar, right?
• PB&J.  The world's most perfect food for people of all ages. In a pinch, I will slap one together on yummy whole wheat bread while I'm making one for the kids and scarf it down with a glass of milk to give me energy to keep going all afternoon.
• Meat. Linda always makes a little extra chicken, steak, shrimp, etc. to munch on for some extra protein. It also helps when you have to throw it in the little bit of leftover Mac & Cheese that the kids didn't finish. That + protein makes a meal.
• Hard boiled eggs. Every weekend--even now--Linda boils a dozen hardboiled eggs. Again, in a pinch the eggs help round out an all-carb meal with a bit of protein.
• Tortillas. Linda is a big fan of this Tex-Mex treat. She stocks up for the week with several packages of flour tortillas and uses them as wraps for all-things-leftovers. She says anything in a "wrap" tastes great. Throw in a few veggies and you have a meal.

Help me add some more easy, (semi-)nutritious foods to my repertoire.  What's your favorite fuel?

Note:  Before you get too excited about Baby Bunching as a potential weight loss strategy, please note that by the time my Bunch was 3 and 4, I found the muffin top creeping on.  With my lifting, carrying, and chasing responsibilities significantly reduced, my job as mom had become more sedentary, but I continued to graze absentmindedly like I had for the past 3 years.  Now that I have a one-year old again who is constantly on the move, my weight is back down.  Starting to see a pattern?

power to shower

There are many things we, as Baby Bunching moms, sacrifice. No longer could I wear black clothes (shirts/pants) because they were a target for smelly baby spit up. And forget about the white clothes (shirts/pants/skirts) which were a target for toddler's colored foods or chalked-up hands. I gave up trying to pee in peace because sometimes I never even got around to peeing. I gave up sitting down to eat since eating on the run or even in the car seemed easier at times.

But showering? No way could I give that up.

Showering can be more than just water and some shampoo. A shower, no matter how short it is, can be a retreat and a way to start over. (Even with kids in the bathroom with me.) There is something so wonderful about steam and sweet smelling soaps. Perhaps it's because it washes off the stench of spit up and pee. But getting a shower with two little monkeys can definitely be difficult. It was rare I actually skipped a shower mainly because as a curly-haired girl it's damn near impossible to skip too many days without a washing or I I risked looking like some scary beast. But even a shower in the early days of Baby Bunching changed the tone of the day...and still does. For some reason I function more efficiently and parent better after a shower. Yes, the shower is very powerful!  

So how do you make it happen. Here are a few configurations that might help you get the relief you need.

1) Shower before your kids get up.
2) Shower while both kids are napping.
3) Bring bouncy seat into the bathroom for baby. Put toddler in crib to play with toys/books. Or put both kids in cribs to play.
4) Put toddler in front of DVD while baby is napping.
5) While toddler is napping, bring baby into bathroom with you.
6) Bring toddler into bathroom with you (and a few toys) and while baby is napping.
7) Bring Megasaucer into bathroom with you while both kids play.
8) Use playgroup time with other moms around to quickly shower. Seriously! No one who really loves you will mind.
9) Get a mother's helper and use that time to shower. Take a long one since you're paying someone.
10) Shower at night when kids go to bed.

Feel free to share some of your tips for getting in a shower with two under two.

the loneliness of baby bunching

I have been thinking about Jen’s post from last week regarding motherhood being lonely. It actually has stuck with me and had me thinking about how motherhood has been for me on the friend front. I into parenthood at a different angle with a different perspective.

I imagine for those who have lived in one location for a many years this is a big adjustment to make. You go to school, get a job, get married, have babies and all the while keep the friends who you know and love from all stages of your life. Nothing, absolutely nothing, changes you more than parenthood. And those friends who haven’t made their entry into this new world often don’t “get” motherhood. (You can argue with me if you like, but it's true. Until you do it, you don't get it.) And those of us who are now mothers can’t figure out what we used to do with all that free time. There is a very obvious divide once the kids come.

But for me, we moved to the other side of the world exactly two weeks before I found out I was pregnant. (Yes, do the math if you must.) For me, there was nothing so isolating as being in a new world with a whole new culture and nothing as wonderful as having an excuse to make new friends: babies!  Motherhood was my way to link up with others and form a new circle of friends. So while parenthood may make you stray from old friends, it actually opens up a forum for making new ones.

I won’t bore you with all the details of making my way in non-English speaking worlds to find friends. But I will say the common denominator was always kids, which made it much easier to always connect with people. As a result I made friends with many women whom I might not have normally been friends with. 

However, as I began bopping along with my new found mom friends and our babies in tow at the mall or playground, I suddenly found myself in the ever-changing world of Baby Bunching. This can also put a strain on friendships, even the newly formed ones. So many “mom” friendships, especially with first babies, are formed with other moms whose kids are the same age. You sit around and talk about diapers, feedings and teething. You’re comforted by knowing someone else is going through the same things you are. Then….BAM! Baby #2 arrives. Unless your friends are on board with the Baby Bunching, you might find yourself alone again. (Tip: Convince your friends to go this route with you. It’s much more fun!) But if they don’t, you will find yourself stuck at home in the “nap trap” or out managing way too many kids at one time. I often felt my friend with only one kid just didn’t get how hard this was—always juggling everything, never sleeping, hands in diapers all the time, in the kitchen all day long. I felt very disconnected and very alone.

Eventually, I realized the solution was finding friends close in age to my own and finding moms with two close in age. Fortunately, I had Cara who’s kids were the same age as mine, but eventually over time, I found a few more who were at least in the same city.  I worked to keep the friends I had (because sooner or later most of them went for around round). Then we Baby Bunchers become the experts of managing two kids! Even if you’re not the playgroup-going mom or find it hard to make friends, I absolutely assure you 100% that the time investment you make in finding at least one other Baby Bunching mom friend is SO totally worth it.

Of course, we welcome all of you here as our instant Baby Bunching friends. We love to hear from you and hope to grow the community of wonderful, brave Baby Bunching moms.

baby bunching stages: baby on the move

New Baby is approaching the six-month mark and has started to fall into a predictable sleeping pattern.  No longer a wrinkly, red-faced, humorless, tyrannical newborn, he has likely grown into a chubby, bubbly, ball of fun that now provides the cooing and gurgling positive reinforcement that all parents crave.  Plus, now that you're getting a little sleep, the old brain cells have started working again and you're starting to feel like you've got a handle on things. 

Careful, old girl - isn't this about that stage where you found yourself pregnant again on the last go-round?

Yes, things have gotten easier, but don't get too comfortable because they are about to get harder than ever.  When we told you about the challenges of having two babies, we forgot to mention that one of the BENEFITS of having two babies in the beginning is that the youngest is, in some ways, much like a potted plant.  Largely content to stay in one place and await the next feeding and watering session, New Baby will always be right where you left him if you dare to leave the room for half a millisecond and come back. 

But now he has started to notice that there is a big, wide world out there and Big Baby seems to get to do a whole lot more exploring than he does.  He begins trying to keep up with Big Baby - creeping, crawling, pulling up, taking Big Baby's toys - even attempting to scale items such as coffee tables and stairways.  As if wanting to be on the go weren't enough, he now has an opinion.  Even the most laid-back, go-with-the-flow ("chill", in our house) babies start to realize around the six-month mark that if they want their opinion to be heard in the funny farm of a family in which they've landed, they'd better express it loudly and frequently. 

If this sounds familiar, it's because you likely already have one of these in your family, and his name is Big Baby.  Really, there is very little point in bothering to take down the baby gates or cribs, which will be permanent fixtures in your house until your kids graduate from college, it seems.  A little on what to expect at this stage:

• With New Baby falling into regular sleep patterns, you've likely found yourself stuck in the nap trap (we didn't coin it, but we love it!).  NOW is the time when you can start looking at sleep schedules and trying to tweak them to achieve the Holy Grail of Baby Bunching - overlapping naps.
• Since you likely spend a good part of your day in the kitchen feeding everyone, do yourself a favor and move the toys somewhere where you can see/hear the kids playing from the kitchen.  No, you won't host the next 20 Christmas dinners on a Leap Frog activity table instead of your grandmother's gorgeous dining set, but considering moving things around a little for a few years to accommodate your current daily reality.  We promise that you will be able to take back your living room in a few years and the convenience you gain in the meantime will be totally worth it.
• This stage is where we're a big fan of pre-packaged convenience foods  Generally speaking, we are opposed to these for both expense and environmental (wasteful packaging) reasons, but you need all the help you can get during this stage when you are busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.  Not that "convenience" means junky -- string cheese, applesauce cups, graham cracker sticks, pretzels, fruit leathers provide healthy options that you can grab-n-go quickly when you need to stash your diaper bag for an outing or even make lunch on the fly.
• Speaking of food, don't forget about mom.  This was the stage where Cara (never a waif-like girl) noticed that clothing from HIGH SCHOOL was hanging loosely on her (why she even still owned high school clothes is another post).  That's because you will find yourself so busy that it seems impossible to take time to feed and water yourself.  Cara started drinking Slim Fast or Carnation Instant Breakfast in the morning, otherwise it would be mid-afternoon and she'd realize she had fed her body not one thing besides 5 cups of coffee.  We're not saying liquid diet is ideal or a long-term solution, but it's a bridge one - supplement with a banana and a granola bar and take your vitamins every day and you could almost call it a meal.
• This stage will be your first glimpse into sibling rivalry. When your little one can finally get himself to the puzzles, Little People, blocks, etc., Big Baby gets a fast lesson into what's "mine is yours." This is when the real action starts. Be ready for it.
• The double stroller becomes critical here.  Some hard-core baby wearers tote their kids in slings successfully until they start kindergarten, but this was the stage where it became uncomfortable for us.  The sling that had been our link to sanity in the earlier months suddenly became too heavy to haul around as baby approached the 15-20 lb mark.  Now's the time to get a double stroller if you don't already have one - you gotta have a way to pin everyone down in public.
• Speaking of strollers, realize that your outing M.O. will change here. What once worked when New Baby was unable to crawl, cruise or walk, will change. Chances are baby just hanging out in the stroller while your toddler conquers the mall play area will not be OK. You will now have two to watch and keep out of trouble. This is where the fun really starts! Getting in and out of the car will change as well since your New Baby will likely be pushing his way out of the infant carseat. (Tip: Keep baby in there as long as you can.)
• You've already got your momtourage lined up, right?  If not, GET ON IT.  You need them now more than ever to help you keep your sanity.  Bonus points if they will come to you and help turn the nap trap into a series of play dates.  Double bonus points if they will bring wine when they come.
• Per our last post, give up on your house.  Really.  If you haven't already, LET IT GO.  Certainly, keep it clean enough that you're not appalled when your babies crawl on the floor, but do not think that just because you are stuck at home all day while babies are napping that you will get jack shit done.  If you are a stay-at-home mom, you might as well be working an 80-hour week outside the home, for all your house looks like. In fact, working moms probably have cleaner houses at this stage of the game.  All that to say, it doesn't matter.  Don't kill yourself trying to be freaking Donna Reed - it's not possible and you will make yourself (and your kids) crazy trying.  We both found it so frustrating to be surrounded by mess that we couldn't control, coupled with an irrepressible urge to try to control it and be productive, that we finally ended up leaving the house whenever our kids weren't sleeping.  Out of sight, out of mind, as they say.
• Just so the child welfare authorities don't come knocking on your door and you don't end up in the loony bin, we do recommend a "re-set" each night.  AFTER (this part is key) your kids go to bed, clean the kitchen, sweep all toys into a basket, tidy your "hot spots" (mail center/desk/dining room table) if you have the energy, and throw in a quick load of laundry.  It's amazing what starting the day with just a clean living room and kitchen can do for your sanity.  Please, do not be tempted to straighten or deep clean any other rooms in your house - it is an exercise in futility, take our word for it.
• Finally, shipping Big Baby off even one morning a week to a Parent's Morning Out is nice at this stage.  Ask your momtourage for recommendations and find a good program that you feel comfortable with if you haven't already.

If you're starting to notice some themes here (get a good support system, find a good Parent's Morning Out, cut yourself some slack on the house), it's because we know our stuff, and we learned it the hard way.  Trust us.

pregnant girls can rock a swimsuit, too

Our local YMCA pool is crawling with pregnant women, most of them Baby Bunchers.  This is probably because A) the pool is the only place a pregnant girl can find any relief in the summertime and B) the specially designed graduated walk-in pool and ample number of lifeguards make it a fairly safe place to bring your toddler when you can't move fast enough to keep up with him.  In any case, there is definitely something in the water at our pool, which is why I'm planning to stay out of it as much as possible this summer.

Last summer when I was hugely pregnant, the Y was my favorite place to go, not only for the reasons cited above but also because it was good for my self esteem.  Parading your post-baby body around in a swimsuit is bad enough when you're just post-baby.  It's even WORSE when you're post-baby AND pre-subsequent baby.  But bless their hearts, those girls at the Y.  If you eavesdrop on enough conversations, you learn that they always have a sympathetic ear and a kind word for any of the poor preggos lumbering around the pool area, and I was no exception.  Pretty much every time I waddled into the Y, I received an encouraging comment from some woman who had traveled this road before me about how great I looked in my maternity swimsuit. 

It may have been the suit, which was courtesy of Liz Lange for Target and really WAS great (so great, in fact, that I kind of wish it came in non-maternity sizes).  Or it may have been my tan, which never fails to shave 10 pounds off my frame (skin cancer be damned, when you're pregnant you need to take advantage of every slimming illusion you can).  Or it may have been blatant lies on their part.  All I know is that it was a combination of the Y's cool water, free babysitting, and compliments that got me through the home stretch. 

This summer, I plan to pay it forward.  Any chance I get to let a pregnant girl know how great she looks without looking like some kind of maternity-obsessed stalker, I'm gonna do it.   

new mommy bliss & missing the milestones

During my major pruning session for our upcoming move (in less than 2 weeks), I ran across an old issue of Parenting magazine (Feb. 2008 to be exact). Since most of our reading material has been packed up, I decided to just flip through a bit while in the bathtub. Yes, I am amazed that I got a quiet bath—thank God for DVDs! This article by Jennifer Graham Kizer really struck me.

In case you missed it (it was over a year ago), which even if you did I’m sure you all don’t remember since I probably did read it and still don’t remember….I’ll refresh. The article is about a new mom of a one year old. One who is both amazed at every new thing her daughter does and fearful of all the things she might try. She realizes she’s a novice in the eyes of her friends—many who have more than one child.

All of baby’s firsts are wonderful precious gifts. And in all honesty it’s amazing (OK incredibly amazing) when your first child does all his first milestones. But when the next and the next does it—it’s amazing but more as a comparable thing. My son began crawling at seven months. When my daughter was seven months and showed no signs of crawling I began to wonder . .  . “what’s wrong with her?” And, honestly, while I was amazed at all she could do, I was always comparing her to what my son did at this age.

Add this on to the fact that I probably didn’t accurately remember what my son did because once I was hugging the porcelain God with morning sickness I probably wasn’t accurately recording all the details of when he walked, talked, etc.  I also know FOR SURE I wasn’t enjoying all the novice mom moments I should have been enjoying. I was trying to survive the pregnancy with a baby. Trying to endure the last few months of being 30-pounds overweight with a newly walking toddler. Trying to exist with two babies in diapers who had constant needs round the clock.

We’re all new moms at one time. There are things we all should enjoy about our new babies, but the fact of the matter is as a Baby Buncher there are a lot of moments missed and a lot of milestones which pass as a blur.  The truth is you won’t remember, especially if you are pregnant or have a new baby. But you want to and you do your best to remember.

Quick tips: Take a picture or a quick video. Jot a note down and stick it in a jar with a date. Keep a loose journal. I am grateful for the scrapbooks I did keep during those early years to help me remember. Blogging counts so do that. You’re a new mom and you’re entitled to all the wonderful new moms feeling—even if you’re pregnant or already have another baby in tow. Do what you can, when you can, to try and remember/document some of it. The new mommy bliss is wonderful and even us Baby Bunchers have to try to nab some of it when we can.

baby bunching occupational hazard: longer torso?

After my second child was born and I'd lost a good amount of the pregnancy weight, I remember trying on all my old pre-pregnancy clothes (from the two seconds I could fit into regular clothes between baby #1 and #2) and I realized my shirts were all too short! I was certain this was some freak thing of nature--either I shrunk ALL my clothes in the wash, I grew two inches or my torso was actually longer?

Since Cara's second child is 17 hours younger than mine, I called her distressed about none of my shirts fitting anymore even though I seemed to "look normal" again. She confirmed I was indeed not imagining things. Apparently she too was having trouble keeping her shirts from riding up her midriff. I suppose this is why places like Land's End advertise the "longer shirts."

After checking around with other moms, I found out about this dirty little secret of the second baby (since no one seems to have experienced this after the first): elongated torso without actually adding on actual body height. What is that?

I'm not sure how this is medically possible so I'm just going to chalk it up as one of the many great mommy mysteries.

How to clothe this new body shape? You got me. I found that the H&M L.O.G.G. T-shirts have worked best for my new body type. They are long enough to cover, stretchy enough for hide a bit and still flatter. I welcome other clothing suggestions for this problem.