Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

baby bunching Q/A: tummy time + running toddler

This question made us laugh our loud so we decided to include this for the week.

Q: How the heck do you do tummy/floor time for a baby with a toddler running around with toys all over the floor trying to "help" the baby roll.

A: A very good question, and this seemingly simple task often ends up as par for the course in Baby Bunching. We remember our toddlers running over baby with a push toy or just literally running over baby if we looked away for half a second. For some (like Linda), it was hard because her second was actually happy to "hang" on the floor unlike her first. So her toddler made this enjoyable activity a constant battle.

No, you probably can't put baby on his tummy and get dinner on the table unless your toddler is strapped into the high chair. And that's exactly what you could do! Baby Bunching is part ingenuity and part sweat. You make it through the process better with a smile and some creativity. Or like many of us, Baby #2 might just forgo tummy time and start crawling before you realize it.

So here are a few ideas:

--Put toddler in the high chair for snack and put baby on the floor for tummy time. Bring in a few foam mats to the kitchen if you need to. In fact, bring everything into your kitchen (if it's big enough) because you're living there anyway!

--Try tummy time in the crib. Go into baby's room and put baby on tummy awake in the crib while you and toddler keep busy nearby doing whatever chores/play that give baby some time to pull up his head and chest.

--Provide tummy time for baby while toddler is otherwise engaged--bathtime (yes, bring some foam interlocking mats into the bathroom or a boppy on a bath mat), reading time or while toddler is napping.

--Realize this is only the first of many times Baby #2 will have to get used to toys and an older sibling making things a bit challenging. And Baby #1 will have to learn that walking on the baby and throwing toys is not OK with a younger sibling.

delish make-ahead meals for your bunch

Finding great make-ahead recipes (beyond lasagna) that you can freeze, are great treasure finds. They are perfect as welcome gifts for new moms or novice Baby Bunchers. They are nice for afternoons when the activities are so crazy you just don't have time to prep a meal. It's a great meal strategy for working moms who may have the time on the weekend, but not during the week. They are even great packaged for sick grandmas or neighbors who need a little extra TLC. And many times on cool rainy days, like today, I use the time inside to do a little meal prep for a busier day.

About two years ago, a Baby Bunching friend of mine--who also happens to be a caterer--passed along her collection of make-ahead recipes. I was looking for something beyond the normal 'cassaroley' type things that I could take to a new mom in town or to my own mom (who is ill) and doesn't have the desire to cook. Since then, many of these awesome recipes have been incorporated into my weekly menu. These recipes have been tested and tweaked by my friend's cooking group--and me--so I promise they are delish! Some of these are so yum, like the Fish Veracruz, you could make them to serve later on for company. My family's personal favorites from this line up include: Chicken Pot Pie, Turkey Meatloaf with Cranberry Relish (perfect for fall), Beef Strognaoff, Mexican Manicotti and Crab Quiche. They all come with directions on how to store in the freezer.

Check out the complete collection of what I like to call Leslie's Make Ahead Recipes. If you have a few of other favorites that you enjoy, let us know. We love to recipe swap. Leslie, if you're reading, let us know if you have any new favs to add to this list.  

(Note: These recipes are posted with permission from my Baby Bunching friend who generously put them together for people to use to help with meal preparation. Please do not take this collection and pretend it is yours. That would be mean.)

finding 'me' in the middle of a bunch

When my second baby was born, I was immediately pulled into a hurricane of activity--two kids less than 16 months apart, diapers everywhere, bottles of different sizes, crying, sleep issues and an international move on top of that. My days were spent in the kitchen, moving one or both kids from point A to point B, feeding/changing someone every hour and trying to catch a break for myself to pee. Survival.

My life had been turned upside down and sideways with babies, and of course, it left little time for me to focus on "me." I couldn't help but lose some of myself in this chaos.

At church on Sunday, the these was about finding your identity. Finding the "me" you want to be. Who am I? I can say without a doubt the me I was before kids is completely different than the me now. And I'm not talking about the me that said my kids would never eat McDonalds or watch TV. The me that sees things on the street sees them differently now. The me that interacts with other parents, judges less. The me that struggles to make it through a day sometimes can't manage the last bit of tasks before bed.

Basically, the day my second baby was born my life took on new meaning. My role in the world did, too. And for the next three years (until my oldest was about four) what little "me" time I had was spent working part-time, running errands childless or sneaking off for a quicky pedicure. There certainly hasn't been time to sit and ponder my identity.

After a few days of simmering on this topic, I think I realized the answer may be simpler than I thought. Motherhood changes you forever. It forces patience and acceptance. It makes you understand that things are not always as they should be or as you expect. Organization is important, but you have to willing readjust and redirect on a dime. You have to be willing and able to laugh at your mistakes and move on quickly. You have to know when to throw your hands up and just cry "uncle!"

My own "handicraft" is a big part of being me. I am blessed that it translates from place to place and I can find different ways to practice it as I change.

I think when it comes down to it, everyone has some kind "craft"--whether is storytelling, music, mediation, persuading, organizing, constructing, etc.  But I believe that it's important for all of us to find some time during the week to perfect our craft and build on it. Because that designated "me" time makes you who you are. And as your kids grow up, it's the "you" your kids want to know.  

a baby buncher's grocery dream: scan it, pay, go

As Baby Bunchers, we're always searching for ways to make our lives easier, especially regarding chores. I would bet grocery store shopping is probably one of the most challenging for many of us. Unless you go alone without kids, you're always finding the best way to get everyone into and out of carts, through the store and back home again without losing your mind (or a child).

In the past we've offered up suggestions on the perfect cart, the best configuration in the cart and how to get your menu planned before you go to the store. Today, I finally got up the nerve to try the hand-held scanners at my local Giant. I think we may have a winner!

The first time I had seen this system was in Sweden, of all places. I was intrigued by the idea of me scanning all my own groceries along the way, and at the end, just paying and leaving. But with kids ages 8 months and 2 years old, I wasn't brave enough (read: didn't want to take the time) to figure out the system. The scanners reappeared in my Giant last fall, but it's taken me a full year to get up the nerve to try them out.

And after passing by the wall of scanners tons of times and glaring at the scary-looking machines, I finally decided to give it a go when I heard my friend mention that this was the ONLY reason she took her Bunch of three to that grocery store. I went in with my list of 20 items to test it out. I let my youngest (now 5) scan each item. I placed it in my canvas bags and pranced around the grocery store feeling very proud of myself for mastering this technology. (Warning: Make sure your child is not wandering around scanning things you aren't aware of or you may go home with a bigger grocery bill than expected.)

Hands down the best part of this process is the checkout. Scanned my Giant card, scanned the finish bar code, it downloaded my purchases and I paid! Everything is already bagged, and I walked out before anyone else.

Combine this little toy with the double-seated or car cats, and you might have yourself a fun, productive little outing for everyone.

reflections of motherhood

If this doesn't make you both weep and laugh at the same time, then watch it again when your kids are napping. Some amazing advice for any mom....even us Bunchers. Then let us know what your favorite piece of advice from this was. MIne: Forgive yourself, Prepare to fall in love, Be brave.

remember your 'bigs' are still little

I was at a dear friend's house today helping her out with her four kids (four under 6 to be exact) while she was babysitting two more for a week. Insane? Yes, I think so, but that is another story.

Her youngest is 5 months old. Truth be told, what she needed from me this week more than anything was just another set of hands, so I tried to step in and do what I could. I took the baby in my arms and moved about helping other kids and getting her dishwasher unloaded--all with baby in tow. (Hey, I still got it!) The baby showed signs of getting tired--looking away, whining, rubbing eyes--and I offered to put baby in bed. Funny, how things don't change. A little swaddling, a few figure 8 swings on the side and baby was out like a light. As I watched him suck away on the paci, I realized my son was one month older than this baby when we found out OUR Baby #2 was on the way. This baby who still needed 2-3 naps day. This baby who barely ate solid food. This baby who still wasn't crawling.

There is one thing consistent with all older siblings of a Bunch: they are forced given the opportunity to be big brothers/sister faster than the rest. Many older siblings are weaned earlier knowing another little one is on the way. Perhaps they are moved out of a crib quicker since Baby #2 will need it. They might even say goodbye to a bottle or paci before we they may be ready.

When you're going through Baby Bunching for the first time, the reference point for age-appropriateness may be blurred, and what the books say may or may not apply since you're essentially working with two babies.  The word "toddler" seems to imply the next stage--moving from baby to child. But like the word "tween," I think we need to realize there often is no defining beginning or end.

Now looking at this phase from the other side, a toddler (as all our kids were when Baby #2 entered the world) is still little. As "big" as we force them to be because they have to be for us to survive, we must remember they are still babies, too. When it comes to comfort items such as pacis, loveies, bottles past the recommended time, we say let them be little. They are forced to grow up faster than their non-Bunched peers and a little bit of baby love might be just what they (and you) need.

This post is simply a bit of ramblings from me realizing that I may have forced my Big to be big a little sooner than I would have like.

solution for morning clothing battles

We are in back to school mode here, even though we don't go back for almost three weeks. But my anticipation (read purchasing back to school items) for new year is keeping my spirits up.

If you are one of our regular readers, you know one of my favorite morning activities is the treadmill/elliptical machine + Today Show. Especially of late since the summer lovin' has ended in our house and the gym means childcare! This morning I caught a great tip from one of the guests and wanted to share it.

For those of you with little kids, you may think I'm insane for thinking this is the perfect solution to our morning wardrobe fights (from one child). But every morning we have "negotiations" with my younger child about clothes. She has a beautiful assortment of clothing from many wonderful retailers. Yet, every morning is crap shoot on what she will end up donning to school. Even when I present her with a few choices, you can count on tears, lots o drama and pleading to wear something from the opposite season.

This idea may be one I'm willing to adopt:

--Decide, with said child, the entire week's "what to wear to school" wardrobe on Sunday night. Put each outfit in a ziploc back, complete with undies and socks, and mark "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc."

Now this may not work with some kids. In fact, it may not work with my five-year old, but the arguments are painful enough to excite me in trying something new. Heck, I might try it with both kids in the hopes it will make mornings a little more efficient and easier to get everyone out the door.

10 things we loved about blogher

Baby Bunching just returned from BlogHer 2010 in the Big Apple, and to say that we had a blast would be an understatement.  The conference itself was a wealth of information and contacts, but given that we are BFF’s, our favorite part was that we got to spend an entire weekend together without interruptions from any children at all.  This was especially important to Cara, who still carries guilt that her eldest child’s meltdown of nuclear proportions totally wrecked our last attempted reunion with all the kids earlier this year. 

We met so many new faces we can’t keep track of them, but we also saw some old friends.  Cara realized a longtime dream of meeting the hilarious Stimey, a favorite blogger and fellow Baby Buncher and mom of three boys. We had the good fortune to end up sharing a breakfast table with uber-Buncher Sierra Rix, who has guest-posted on this blog before.  We got to say hi to the Justices, organizers of the super-fab Blogalicious conference.  Linda even got to run past Bruce Jenner in Central Park, while Cara was tickled by a chance encounter with Mrs. Potato Head at the lunch buffet.  Linda enjoyed a great ride up and back on the Hershey's S'more Road Trip to BlogHer, where she met BabytobeTV and found out that she, too, is a Baby Buncher. Yes, a good time was had by all. 

Top Ten Things We Loved About BlogHer/Baby Bunching Reunion 2010:

1.  It was in New York. This was especially a bonus for Cara, who had only visited once before - with a strap-on four-month old in the Bjorn. To enjoy the city kid-free was decadent, to say the least.
2. Soaking up the contents of the Metropolitan Museum of Art over a leisurely two-day period - without kids. 
3. Standing in line at the Gershwin Theater in the hopes of winning the $25 Wicked ticket lottery.  No, we didn’t win - but we had a damn good time standing in line - something we never would’ve been able to do with our kids.
4. Killing time waiting for Wicked tickets drinking Wickedtinis at Azalea (right next door).  Admittedly, we did think of how much the kids would get a kick out of this oddly eerie illuminating green glowing beverage.  But it was still nice to be able to sip them at a leisurely pace in a real, live grown-up bar.
5. Cocktail-hour reunion (courtesy of Facebook) with one of Cara’s dear friends from grade school on the roof of the Dream Hotel.  Drinks, 20 years worth of catch-up chatter, and a serene rooftop location.  No need to further explain why the kids wouldn’t have been welcome here.
6. Cocktails and dinner with Linda’s brother, replete with leisurely people-watching over coffee from the cafe. 
7. A run/walk (Linda and Cara, respectively) through Central Park.  Could’ve done this with kids, but there would’ve been a lot more whining about the lack of available water fountains there.
8. A stroll through crowded, pulsing Times Square and brief stop in the M&M store there.  We were really glad the kids weren’t there for this one.
9. Scoring free conference swag toys for our kids.
10. Going home to our kids.

So yeah, there were a lot of cocktails now that we look at it.  But we also responsibly attended every conference session and even split up so that we could soak up as much information as possible.  We’re looking forward to synthesizing what we learned and strategizing to bring you a new-and-improved Baby Bunching community.

baby bunching Q/A: separation anxiety at school

A great question from Hillary via our Facebook page.

Q: I am the proud mother of a 23-month old boy and now a 7 week old boy. Our oldest has gone to daycare twice a week since January '10. He attended daycare full time prior to that, but changed to a new daycare and less days in January. He has a really hard time being left at daycare in the morning. He weeps... and clings to my husband, not wanting to be left. His daycare has tried to comfort him, to no avail, he stops crying on his own once we're gone. Now the daycare has decided that my husband just needs to leave quickly and that our son will stop on his own (so no comforting - making sure he's safe/ok, though).

What can we/should we do to help our little boy? Any thoughts? Tips? Experience with this? Should we take him out of daycare? He seems to really like it, once he's over his separation anxiety....

A: Congratulations on your little baby! First of all, let us say it was very savvy of you to get your big baby into his new routine PRIOR to little baby's arrival. This is one of the things we recommend to new Baby Bunching moms.

While it's hard to know exactly why he's doing this weepy-clingy thing, there are a few thoughts to consider. 

--Control. Since, if I'm reading this right, this has been happening before little baby arrived, I guess that this has less to do with little baby's appearance and more about control. He probably knows how upset you and your husband get when you drop him at school and it could be an attention game. Moving quickly out of there could move the power back into your hands. But without knowing the whole situation or your son, it's hard to guess.

--His age. With both my kids, I noticed different places along the way where they played this game. Many times I think there really is some fear and uneasiness. It's possible the change in daycare and that scary separation realization point just intersected at the same time. Perhaps something like a lovey that reassures him might help during the drop off.

--How the daycare handles goodbyes. We have been to what feels like a myriad of preschools--all with their own drop off and good bye routines. Perhaps have them try a few different techniques to help the farewell. One school we went to had a designated "wave window" where the kids waved goodbye. In the beginning, this made my son nutso to see me walking away, but soon he wanted to be like the other kids and blow kisses. All the while the teachers would comfort him about the goodbye. Another school immediately had kids engaged in an activity when they entered the room. They knew what each kid liked and were able to draw them in with that. You know your child best so you might talk to the workers to see what they work out.

--Go with what the teachers suggest. It's hard to realize, but sometimes really good preschool teachers can shed light on our kids' personalities because they've seen things like this before. It might be possible that a quick goodbye 99% of the time solves the problems. She might actually have seen this hundreds of times and is offering you some guidance based on what they see from your son later after you leave.

But these are only suggestions. We had this problem with my son in the very beginning of preschool, and there was the sobbing and weeping involved, too. It turned out the quick departure and immediate engagement with toys/people distracted him. My daughter didn't do this much until age 3 (after she'd already been going to the school for a year.) She just knew it would get her extra hugs and attention.

I'm sure our readers will have some great suggestions for you on this one.

thanks to the mommy mentors

This week I'm saying goodbye to one of my mommy mentors, leaving only one more left in town. Perhaps you have a mommy mentor. Perhaps you, unwittingly, are one. These amazing women can be an extension of our families in a time when we all need all the hands/help we can get.

For me, a mommy mentor is the mom who has a similar parenting style and does all the things with her kids that I aspire to do. I'm not talking about the mom who runs her kids from sports to swim and scouts to dance. That I already know how to do. I'm referring to the mom who in the midst of all the chaos and chauffeuring from place to place, projects some kind of calm and peace over not just her kids, but me and my own kids as well. The mom who stops in the middle of the sentence and says, "Yes, sweetheart. Let me finish talking to Ms Linda, and I will read you a book." And then she does it, even with the "special" voices.

Throughout my parenting career, I have met three amazing ladies who have inspired me to be a better mom. Because as we all know, this parenting gig doesn't come with any kind of an instruction manual. These women do not know each other well or at all. Some of them work and others stay at home. Two of them have two kids and the other has four. One of them isn't even from this country. Interestingly enough, there are some similarities between them despite their differences. They are all well-traveled, extremely patient, positive and loving. Most of all they all have a great sense of humor and spirit of adventure.

And while I may not see these moms very often, even an afternoon with them can revive my parenting spirit. They say it takes a village to raise a child and in a time when extended family isn't around to help do the heavy lifting, it's nice to know that special friends are here to give us the courage to do it ourselves.

Thanks to all the mommy mentors out there (do we call them "momtors?") and the ways that they help us grow and inspire as parents.

**We'll miss you Jenny. Thanks for inspiring me.