Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

baby steps for baby bunchers in the new year

Typically, I am squarely with Linda in the anti-resolution camp, but this year my hand has been forced.  Between the addition of child #3, a husband who works insane hours and is barely home during the week, starting my own company a year ago, and the start of kindergarten last fall for child #1 (which somehow became an entire-family experience), I have pretty much been spinning out of control for the past year or so.  I have been beating up on my body quite a bit - too much caffeine, too much sugar, too much snacking/grazing instead of meals, too much wine, and not enough sleep and exercise.  No wonder I've been feeling like I'm running on empty! 

I'm sure there are many of you in this same boat because one of the occupational hazards of Baby Bunching is that it is a very physical job to mother very young children.  Make that multiple young children and you're constantly hopping in an effort to feed, water, clothe, bathe, entertain, and monitor little ones who can't do much for themselves. 

While I'm staunchly opposed to setting myself up for failure by making resolutions I know I can't keep, something has got to change when it comes to taking care of myself.  And honestly, I have so much to work on that if I'm actually gonna change it and keep it that way, I've got to do it with baby steps.  So I made a few small goals for myself.  Somehow I'm under the impression that if I write them down for the whole world to see, I might actually STICK to a few of them, so here goes:

• Eat breakfast every day.
• Scale back on the caffeine by drinking 1-2 cups of regular out of the pot hubby makes and then refilling my cup with decaf.
• Go back to 1 Diet Coke a day, a habit I successfully adhered to for 15 years and only recently broke for some reason.
• Sit down and eat lunch and dinner.  It only takes 10 minutes.  Let people cry if I have to.  I deserve to eat, for God's sake.
• Would like to go back to my rule of 1 treat per day, which I have never successfully adhered to.  But I CAN adhere to 2 treats per day.
• PLAY with the kids (without multi-tasking, checking my BlackBerry or doing anything else) for an hour after school.
• Exercise a little each day.  My previous, physically-fit self always believed that it wasn't a workout unless you could commit at least an hour to fit in cardio and strength training and be drenched in sweat at the conclusion.  My new, maternal self has finally realized that something is better than nothing.  20 minutes a day of either is a start. 
• Wine only on weekends.
• Bed no later than midnight during the week.

None of these are earth-shattering, but they're all a (baby) step in the right direction.  Do you have just one or two little changes you'd like to make this year?

to travel or not to travel

We narrowly escaped having to go anywhere this holiday season. No car trips, no plane rides. No public transportation so to speak of. It rocked! This was the first year we made everyone come to us. Selfish? Perhaps. But boy did it just seem so much less hectic--except for all the cooking, baking and cleaning.

My reason for this, you may ask. (aka Why was I a giant Scrooge about this?) We're in a new house this year with a bit more room to celebrate. Our kids are prime Santa age and well, I just said 'Bah Humbug' this year to getting out and about. I hate dealing with sleep issues and airline delays. Actually last year we toyed with taking everyone on a Christmas cruise in some warm climate. But decided that wouldn't work for us right now either.

Being at home comes with its own set of consequences....cabin fever. We were snowed in for several days leading up to Christmas which prevented kids from going to school (so I could do last minute errands) and making us lose that loving feeling earlier than I had anticipated. Today we're resetting the house as Christmas Part 2 begins when the in laws arrive for a week. So the cooking, baking and cleaning go on . . .

Cara on the other hand has become a travel guru in the past few weeks and I bow down to her ability to cope (Ok, yes, she did have cocktails on the 5-hour plane ride but still). She has become the resident expert in travel.

Tell us about your holiday travels (or not traveling) and what you learned for next year.

three days left: what are you doing today?

This holiday season is kicking my Baby Bunching butt! Can't you tell by the lack of posts. I'm not quite sure why this year seems to be more complicated than last, but it has. So now that our Christmas party is over, school is out (canceled because of all the snow) and gifts are bought, I'm moving on to my last minute errands. I was certain I wouldn't have this issue, but since Christmas dinner is at my house with four relatives staying here...that means I have exactly two days to get my ass in high gear and get moving!

Today is the dreaded last-minute errand day of food shopping, a few last minute gifts and whatever else crops up along the way. All this with one child who has a nasty cold. What I really need is the gym, but I dare not set him loose in child care with his nasty runny nose. I told everyone it was errand day and they were to have a smile on their face, a spring in their step and a song in their heart.

So today I'm following my own advice from last yearand setting off this morning by 9 a.m. to get last minute things done with both kids in tow. (I hope I can find a Chick Fil A today.)

Here are the ingredients to surviving holiday errands WITH kids, the day before a major national holiday:

--Starbucks Peppermint Mocha Latte. I don't care how expensive it is, it will immediately, without fail ,change your mood and make you smile.

--Christmas music in the car. It will lift your spirits and help you sing through Target to amuse your kids. People will think you're crazy for busting out into song, but look at you.....people already think you're nuts for having kids so close in age.

--Strollers and/or carts. Don't go in without one. If nothing else it will hold the kids' coats and give you an option to strap someone in.

--Chick Fil A. We never ever eat here, but I treated mine to chicken nuggets and the play room and we were good. (Note: if your youngest (or oldest) is between the ages of 12-24 months, do not attempt this without a second pair of hands. Kids stuck up in the playscape can be tricky to get down.)

--Snacks and bribes. Ok, so the whole morning was about food, but at least kids are quieter with food in their mouths.

Really, if you can. Do your errands minus one kid or all the kids. I think even doing them at 8 p.m would have been better than our chaos this morning. Happy Holidays!

--Starbucks Peppermint Mocha Latte. I don't care how expensive it is, it will immediately, without fail ,change your mood and make you smile.

--Christmas music in the car. It will lift your spirits and help you sing through Target to amuse your kids. People will think you're crazy for busting out into song, but look at you.....people already think you're nuts for having kids so close in age.

--Strollers and/or carts. Don't go in without one. If nothing else it will hold the kids' coats and give you an option to strap someone in.

--Chick Fil A. We never ever eat here, but I treated mine to chicken nuggets and the play room and we were good. (Note: if your youngest (or oldest) is between the ages of 12-24 months, do not attempt this without a second pair of hands. Kids stuck up in the playscape can be tricky to get down.)

--Snacks and bribes. Ok, so the whole morning was about food, but at least kids are quieter with food in their mouths.

Really, if you can. Do your errands minus one kid or all the kids. I think even doing them at 8 p.m would have been better than our chaos this morning. Happy Holidays!

gifting made easy

If you're like us, you're probably running around this week trying to finish up (or start) your holiday shopping. This year, I was much better about shopping online because really....I still can't figure out how to take my Bunch to places that requires actual browsing.

Our goal this year was to give gifts that 1) didn't clutter up people's lives/houses 2) were "green" in some respect. I love getting gifts. But I am not a fan of getting silly gifts that I will never use. But it's hard with those who are not your close friends and family to decide what they will like or not like.

I will not steal Rookie Mom's thunder since they are running Clutter-Free Gift Guides for Moms, Kids and Grandparents. But I will say I fully support some of these awesome ideas that require not getting in the car and mean a little more than another Brookstone gadget. (OK, I love these gadgets, but really do you need a wine cooler machine to get your wine to the right temp....isn't that what the freezer is for!)

I am finally learning to streamline things for friends and family.

--Grandparents (both sets) always get a fresh wreath from LLBean. It's easy to order, free shipping (most years) and this year I got $10 back with each one I ordered. Score!

--I love the idea of giving a class. For my father in law, we gave him a cooking class at a local cooking school. He got to choose the class, made some friends and was served wine with the meal. Bonus! And for a few years, he received a cheese-of-the-month.

--Last year for my mom, I attended a meal-assembly place to make meals for her and my dad. I have discovered if I'm organized enough to buy double the ingredients, I can do this at home and make her the meals I make my own family at half the cost. This is a great gifts for grandparents, too.

--iTunes gift cards or even movie tickets are perfect for tweens and teens who seem to need nothing and everything at the same time.

--But my most difficult gift each year is to my favorite Baby Bunch in the world....besides my own....Cara's kids. And this year, we'll see what she has to say about my gift to her kids. After Thanksgiving, I sent all three boys a giant box of Christmas crafts, complete with their own little trees to decorate. It makes me crazy when my kids want to decorate with my good decorations so this year, all her kids had their own to adorn their rooms/home/garage.

On a whim, yesterday, I stopped in at the Container Store without my kids to look at a few things I actually wanted to order online. I ended up purchasing quite a few gifts in the store. I realized how fun things from the Container Store are to have and how little of it I would ever purchase myself....even things like food storage containers, lunchboxes or stainless steel water bottles.

What great gift ideas do you have?

this here's baking day

We're having a party on Saturday. I'm attempting to get things done ahead of time since hubby is gone for the three days beforehand. How convenient for him....

I declared today my baking day. (Because I did not heed our own advice from last year.) I couldn't have been more wrong because what today turned into was a big giant baking mess. (You saw that coming, right?) There should be a disclaimer on recipes. "Do not attempt this recipe if you don't have full concentration and/or your children are either asleep, with a sitter or locked away."

I attempted one of my favorite holiday cookies: Florentines. This recipe was given to me by fellow Baby Buncher Andrea of Andrea's Recipes. I have made this recipe three times and the last time--the fourth--was when major disaster struck! (They really are the yummiest cookies when made right.)

First of all, I had almond meal instead of almonds. This required about 15-20 minutes online to find out the ratio of nuts to meal. I was interrupted about four times during that hunt so I'm pretty sure I printed out the wrong page. Then I realized my heavy cream had turned solid on the top. Realizing there was no way it could be bad after a few days, went ahead and used the non-solid part. Then surmised that the point of cream is the fatty part that turned solid. Hmmmmm.....this could affect the outcome. Planned to look that up, too, but kids were screaming for help in the other room. Forgot to look it up.

As I'm mixing it, I noticed it didn't look right--at least not like the past few times I had made this recipe. Went ahead since now I had all my kids in the kitchen happily sitting and playing PlayDoh. Put first batch in the oven only to be assured that I had indeed messed up so many steps of the recipe including leaving it in too long that I couldn't serve this to anyone other than my family. 

After three batches and a sad phone call to Cara to relay my disgust towards this endeavor, I decided to give up. All while my children were handing me their beautifully done PlayDoh cookies.

Note to self: Baking often requires precision, including keeping track of the right amount of ingredients. Baking and Baby Bunching may be hazardous to your kitchen and your spirit. Next year I'll try to take a bit of our own advice.

decorating the tree with your bunch

It's that time of year again when those of us with closely-spaced children attempt to "put on" Christmas and put up the tree. What was once a cherished and festive ritual may now cause some angst as you imagine adding twinkly lights, glass ornaments and extra chewy pine needles to your living room decor.

We're over at The Washington Times today with tips on decorating your Christmas tree with your Bunch.

lessons learned from my own rookie mistake

On Monday my kids and I attended our town's "Holiday Stroll" in the downtown area. One of the reasons I chose this event was it was seemingly a very perfect Baby Bunching activity--walkable (hate loading my kids in the car), early enough not to cut into bedtime, and free. Finding the perfect activity can be hard you know? And for 4 blocks on a very cool Christmasy-feeling evening, I would happily stroll along for a Santa sighting, Christmas tree lighting, caroling and hot chocolate. 

I bundled my kids up in their heavy jackets, rain boots (only just stopped raining) and grabbed the flashlights(see, I'm learning). And we headed out. Of course, hubby had promised to meet us there, but I know better by now that I'm lucky if he's home by 7:30 most evenings.

We arrive to find a mass of people in the blocked off section of the main street. One kid sees a mini petty zoo and the other spots his friend. Immediately both kids go in two directions in the dark. After discussing that they indeed could not take off since A) it was dark and I couldn't see them and B) I was going this alone without daddy, they agreed we'd all stay together (by way of the death grip....very cheery).

As the evening went on, the temperatures continued to drop and my kids began whining about cold hands. No, I did not bring their gloves. But we persisted. And in the next hour, we darted from activity to activity collecting random items. And despite my anxiety to keep track of everyone and hold everything, they seemed to be having a good time.

At one point, I was standing in the middle of the street holding 2 balloon animals (that we waited in line for 20 minutes for), hot chocolate, 2 marshmallows on 2 sticks, 2 flashlights and a hot potato. As we muddled through the next hour, I cursed myself for making a rookie mistake of not being prepared with basic supplies like a bag to hold gloves, wipes, tissues and even my keys that I temporarily thought I lost.

We did end it on a good note at the small chapel near the church where we finally sat ourselves down and warmed up. As I listened to my four-year old belt out "Go Tell it on the Mountain," I decided I needed to see the forest for the trees here. It was a good event and even with my lackadaisical planning, the kids still had a blast.

On the way home they raved about roasting marshmallows in the fire pit, hearing music and petting the animals. And then begged for me to take them there next year. I was reminded that kids' needs really are simple. We bust our butts to "do it up right" for them and they are happy with a simple, free small-town-feeling holiday affair complete with hot chocolate and Jingle Bells.

woes of a traveling baby buncher

Typically here on Baby Bunching we aim to offer two things: 1) tips and tricks for survival and 2) support.  However, I feel compelled to forewarn you that today's post is strictly a vent.  Rest assured that we will offer plenty of tips and tricks for making the most of the holiday season with your Bunch, but today's post is just a bitch-fest from Cara about how much it sucks to be a traveling Baby Buncher.  If you are one of those blessed enough to live near family and avoid traveling for the holidays and cannot in any way identify with this post, consider this a small gift from God to make your life as a Baby Buncher infinitely easier.

We have just returned from a perfectly lovely long holiday weekend, where a number of our very dearest family members worked so hard to put on a picture-perfect Thanksgiving, followed by the absolutely delightful holiday weekend wedding of my sister. They were really, really lovely events and by all accounts were enjoyed by all in attendance.  Except for me and my husband.

You see, we dragged our Bunch and their little brother, The Caboose, over 600 miles by car to attend said events.  We briefly contemplated traveling by air, but decided that this had the capacity to be a disaster of even greater proportions.  Traveling with my kids sucks because:

1) Packing in and of itself is a multi-day affair.  No matter how organized I am, we just have a lot of stuff.  It takes awhile to pack the pack-n-play, the sleep aids (oscillating fan, white noise machine, etc.), the portable booster, the stroller, the diaper bag, the toy bag, the food bag, the overnight bag (so we don't have to drag everything into the hotel on the way up) and the freaking suitcases full of clothes.  And the youngest is even old enough that we have dropped the pump/formula/baby food bag.  I am absolutely mortified to say that my MINIVAN is actually not a large enough vehicle to transport my crew and their gear.  Traveling by plane would be even worse, as at $25 a checked bag, it would be cheaper to charter a plane to transport all this shit than fly commercial.

2) One of my children (typically the baby and sometimes myself, too) gets sick every time we travel.  Can I just say how great it is to spend the beginning of every trip not sleeping for 3 days and checking out every Urgent Care and pharmacy in the flipping country!??!

3) Once we get there, we are in vacation mode but we still have children.  We have so many awesome, well-intended relatives that offer to help out once we get there, but the bottom line is that the kids are still our responsibility...in an unfamiliar, unstructured, un-baby-proofed environment.  The scenario is always the same:  lovely event that has all the makings of a good time.  Long-lost relative/friend that i haven't seen in forever sidles up and says, "It's so good to see you!  How've you been?"  I begin to answer the question and then notice that one of the children has crawled/toddled/sprinted (depending on age) out of my line of vision.  Excuse myself to chase after said child, calling, "Great!  How have you been!  Would love to hear!"  In a decade, maybe, when I can have a freaking uninterrupted conversation.

4)  Despite the abundance of free babysitters, there is no break.  This is because all of the stolen moments that hubby and I count on to get us through the day (nap time, computer time while boys are at school and baby plays quietly in baby-proofed area, early bedtime for kids, hot bath and wine after kids go to bed) never happen because there is a flurry of fun activities that keep us from sticking to our schedule.  And what kind of a Grinchy parent sends their kids to bed at 7 pm when there's a flock of relatives that only get to see them twice a year lining up to play with them?

5) Fortunately, we have awesome family members who are always willing to babysit.  Unfortunately, we are bone-tired and passed out on the couch before our kids have even begun to wind down for the evening.

6) On the ride home there is no backup.  Only hundreds of miles of open road and three small children yammering for snacks, videos, potty breaks, and release from car seat harnesses.

7) And when we get home, it's immediately back to the old grind.  Which almost seems relaxing after a "vacation".

making memories this season

The holidays with little ones can be crazy. Just getting presents bought, wrapped and shipped, and Christmas cards out on time can be about all a new mom can handle. And for the past four Christmases our family has been doing the bare minimum to get festive. Only half the decorations come out, very little baking is done and gifts are bought online to save time.

Last year when my oldest was almost five, I decided it was time to start making some memories and teaching Christmas to my kids. It was clear they were understanding more and more about Santa. But I wanted them to get the whole holiday in more than just a commercial context. So that meant a little reflection on my part. What things are important for me to share about this season with preschoolers?

December can be filled with shopping and spending or it can be about savoring the lights, colors, songs, smells and tastes of this month. Because once January and February comes, it continues to be cold and it’s back to business as usual.

I had read in magazine article about a mom who did an activity a day with her kids during Advent in lieu of candy/gifts everyday. We’ve done the candy Advent calendars and still do because it’s just fun to have chocolate, but as we did last year, this year we'll take our wooden Advent calendar and fill it with fun things for us to do together as a family. Things that, for me, make the season what it is. So here were our 24 days of activities (we have altered a bit this year):

Make paper snowflakes and decorate the windows
Learn/sing some traditional Christmas carols
Decorate the house with decorations
Make a gingerbread house
Make Christmas cookies for a friend
Celebrate St. Nicholas Day (Dec. 6)
Decorate the Christmas tree
Read a Christmas classic
Do something nice for someone we don’t know
Look at Christmas lights
Bring food to someone who needs it
Attend a Christmas concert
Celebrate St. Lucia Day (Dec. 13)
Attend a Christmas event
Make a popcorn garland
Read the Christmas story
Do something nice for your brother/sister (share a toy, make a drawing, let him/her take a turn first)
Make hot chocolate
Watch a Christmas movie
Make a Christmas paper chain and hang it
Hang lights up in the house
Family game night
Buy a toy for a child who doesn’t have one
Unwrap/open one present each

By doing these, our family gets some dedicated time together. But we’ve turned Christmas “chores” into fun activities. I even had them wrapping presents and helping to stamp the Christmas cards.

 

the bunch is 'shackin up' for the holidays

Traveling to visit family shouldbe an easy affair since it is your family. [cue: crazy laughter!] Holiday traveling is about bonding with one another in more ways than one. Quirky habits are unveiled to the world when everyone is stuffed in a room, sleeping on the floor and maneuvering the day on little sleep. Linda's kids (now 4 and 5) have only recently adjusted to 1) sleeping in the same room/bed 2) sleeping in a new place. Previously, in any new location, they would go to sleep late and wake up extra early leaving everyone tired and irritated for the first 24-36 hours anywhere. Cara's kids were conditioned from the beginning to sleep anywhere on anything. Linda is jealous.

Baby Bunchers have unique considerations when it comes to lodging because they can't risk A) their kids waking each other up, B) their kids waking other people up, C) other people waking their kids up. As we all know, the Baby Bunching machine is a finely oiled one, and it typically doesn't allow for sleep cycles to stray off course.  Sleep deprivation + Baby Bunch = nuclear meltdown.

Keep a few things in mind:

• Lodging away from home, in the long run, is a growing experience for everyone. Kids need to learn how to adapt to new situations. If you anticipate it will be a horrible experience for all, stay a brief amount of time and head back. Sometimes being on the road is better than being crammed into a small space with multiple kids....at least until they're older.

• Think outside the box on sleep arrangements. Perhaps toddler could sleep with a favorite aunt or grandma. Baby isn't picky about surroundings, many times a closet or bathroom will keep toddler (or older kids) from waking up the baby. Maybe even you can be the one to take to the floor on an inflatable bed in the living room. Don't feel confined by the number of bedrooms of a house.

• Get your gear loaded up because you probably need extra equipment to lodge your Bunch for the night or two. 1) Bring the bed. We're big fans of the pack n' play. But we just saw this inflatable toddler bedfeatured at Cool Mom Picks.  Genius! It might help reduce the number of portable cribs you have to stuff in the car. 2) Noise machine. If you don't have one, get one. It makes away from home easier if you can drown out the noise.

• Bring your sense of humor because not everyone will have one. Getting baby and toddler to sleep in a new place can be challenging.