Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

quitting thumb-sucking: it's not just hard on kids

When my kids were newborns, I clung fervently to the almighty pacifier as a soother  - even learning to tuck the bottom half right into their "baby burrito" swaddling at night to encourage it to stay in place.  As they grew from sleepy newborns into active infants and the paci kept slipping out and waking them up, I prayed that they would find their thumb/fingers and learn to self-soothe and GO BACK TO SLEEP.  As a recovering thumb-sucker myself, I knew even in that moment that it would be far easier to ditch the paci than the thumb as they got older, but I didn't care one whit.  All I knew was that life had become one constant stream of babies  and I needed a good night's sleep and if it meant I had to saw my first grader's hand off at the wrist someday to cure him of thumb-sucking, so be it.

Fast forward to first (ok, second) grade.  I've got two thumb suckers with loveys and a finger sucker without a lovey, and it's abundantly clear that amputation is not an option.  Time to pay the piper for my past parenting misdeeds.

With my two thumb suckers, the sucking is tied to the lovey and we've made some half-hearted attempts to hide/dispose of lovey during the day but can't bring ourselves to law down the law at night. My own thumb snuck into my mouth at night long after I'd been fitted with braces to correct damage done earlier by said intruder.  So I have every sympathy when my oldest sobs that he "just can't take it" if he can't suck his thumb while he goes to sleep.  

Our finger sucker isn't tied to anything - except his fingers.  All. day. long.  The best we've been able to come up with for him is the pretty much constant admonition to "take your fingers out of your mouth" and "keep your hands busy so they don't creep into your mouth!"  To the point where I'm sure he wants to keep his hands busy by beating us with sticks so that we'll shut up and leave him alone. 

To make matters worse, our pediatric dentists seem fairly unconcerned about either the thumb or finger sucking, although they both said that if we felt like worrying about it, finger sucking is actually worse in terms of tooth displacement.  The fact that my dentists aren't concerned gives me false permission to carry on about my ways, believing that they will eventually "grow out of it". Which I know for a fact is total BS, based on my personal experiences that a well-sucked thumb is tough as leather and even a mouth full of metal is no match for a thumb determined to find it's way home.

Part of me knows I need to lay down the law, and the other part of me, quite honestly, doesn't want my babies to grow up.  I can remember when their threadbare loveys were pristine new baby gifts and I was able to snuggle both lovey and baby right up to my chest.  Now, the sheer stench of my oldest son's feet keeps me from wanting to snuggle him, even if he could still fit on my lap.  And The Caboose has officially reached the age where I try to pull him into my lap and he squirms to break free instead of snuggling in. With the exception of the Pull-Ups on The Caboose, the thumb/finger sucking is the last vestige of "baby" in this house.  

Since we've obviously missed the window on the whole "they'll lose interest as they get older and quit on their own" time-line for my two bigger boys, we're gonna go the orthodontic route.  Biggest boy will be heading in for a spacer, which, the dentist says, will make it so difficult to suck his thumb that he'll probably quit.  My guess is that in another year, Middle will be sent for one as well.  Meanwhile, I'm hoping I can salvage The (just turned three year old) Caboose and cure him using natural methods.  Does anyone out there have tips for quitting thumb-sucking that worked for you? Because I suck at this.

 

the connection between (lack of) sleep and "baby brain"

A recently released study confirms what we moms have long known - that the "baby brain" attributed to sleep deprivation is a very, very real thing.  Although the study was conducted with frequently-woken mice, sleep researchers say that it's not too big of a leap to extend the findings to humans, who experience a mental fog that undermines our ability to think clearly when we have not gotten enough sleep.

When my oldest was born, I remember being shocked at how little sleep I required to function. Those first few weeks of wakings every 1-3 hours were brutal, but I was lucky that each of my little ones fell into decent 4-hour stretches by about one month.  For the most part, I found that if was able to get 5 consecutive hours of sleep and a gallon of caffeine a day, I was good to go.  Sure, I'd get tired, but when the occasional bout of infant illness or teething tossed me back into 2-hour sleep cycles, I was once again grateful for the pathetic 5-hour stretch.

As it turned out, becoming a mom has changed my sleep cycle permanently.  Never a "night owl", I found that I was able to stay up later post-baby and now my most productive hours are between 8 pm (once the kids are down) and 1 am.  As a hyper Type-A personality, I've frequently felt that sleeping, along with eating, are two of life's biggest time wasters, so I was thrilled to discover that the (lack of) sleep training I received from having 3 babies in 5 years has translated to increased productivity. I can now function on 5 hours of sleep a night instead of 8, a time savings that translates into an extra 21 hours a week!  I can do this for exactly 3 consecutive weeks - and then I crash.  

Instead of cluing in to how BAD this is for my body, I'm content to function in 3-week cycles for the sake of squeezing more work, volunteering, blogging (sometimes), and chores into my days.  Never mind the fact that my memory for details is shot, half the time I call my kids by each other's names, and I can frequently be found driving down my street with a forgotten travel coffee mug on the roof of my van.  To each their own, I say.

How has becoming a mom changed your sleep needs, for better or for worse?

just the right jogging stroller a must for baby bunchers on the run

In seven years of parenting, I am loathe to admit that although I've used the heck out of my assorted jogging strollers, I've only actually used them to jog once or twice.  This is due to a host of excuses reasons (I'm tall so the stroller interferes with my stride, I cheaped out and went with BabyTrend joggers which are great for walking but not so great for running, the stroller always veers slightly to the left  - probably because I cheaped out, and most importantly - I could barely ever propel my running self forward more less two additional smaller selves).  

Having hit my "life" stride in recent months, I've also gotten back into my workout groove and have a nice running routine in place.  Not coincidentally, the biggest two of my Bunch are onto scooter phase (less babies=more personal time, are you serious - who knew?!?!).  Now that I'm downsized back into the single jogger AND in better shape, I decided to strap the Caboose into the jogger this morning and venture out to my favorite running spot. He proceeded to cling to the sides of the stroller in fear howling, "It's rolling too fast!  It's rolling too fast!"  It was amateur hour on the running trail this morning, let me tell you.

This morning's exercise left me wondering - if I'd known then what I know now when I bought my very first BabyTrend jogger (because it was the most affordable one available), would I have invested a little more in a higher quality stroller to assist with ease of workouts?  I see lots and lots of moms on the trail with double joggers (mostly of the BOB variety, although I know Linda adored her Mountain Buggy), so I know that there are some of you out there that can both stick to a workout routine with two babies AND integrate them into said routine.  My hat is off to you in a MAJOR way.  

Y'all know one of our favorite topics here at Baby Bunching is strollers, so do tell - what's your favorite jogging/workout stroller and why?  And is it worth the splurge to get a stroller that works WITH you instead of against you in your workout?

reflections on reflux

Disclaimer: Please remember that we at Baby Bunching do not have medical degrees and we would never, ever suggest that you take our medical advice (especially that involving medication for your child) without the knowledge and support of your pediatrician.  So read the following advice...and then consult your doctor.

Recently, I had a park play date with a Baby Bunching friend whose youngest child (at 5 months old and CUTE as a button!) broke my heart because I think he may be struggling with reflux (gastroesophogal reflux disease, or GERD, in the medical world).  

I say *may* because I feel as though reflux is the mystery ailment of the baby world.  Linda is convinced that EVERY baby has reflux. This is a theory I would support, but for the fact that my eldest child was literally the happiest baby on the block.  After three children (and half a dozen pediatricians along the way), I'm convinced that even pediatricians don't know definitively.  If it looks like reflux and smells like reflux, they'll encourage you to give the reflux meds a try and see if it IS reflux.

My third baby was "diagnosed" with reflux after a particularly high-stress trip to urgent care over Labor Day weekend when he was a little over a month old.  My husband, who had had just about enough of the constant crying, laid down the law and insisted that there MUST be something wrong with the kid and it was inhumane to "wait and see" until regular doctor's hours on Monday morning.  With little reflux diagnostic technology on hand in urgent care on a Saturday night, the pediatrician on call suggested that we give the medicine a try.  I resisted the idea of medication at first, being the type of person that will walk around for 4 days with a  headache before taking an Advil, and I certainly didn't like the idea of a daily dose of anything for my newborn.  But the doctor insisted that the medication was so safe that it was used on preemies and that we should just give it a try and see if it worked.  

It worked.  Just a few hours later, we had an entirely different baby on our hands, and silence that was music to our ears - for the first time in a month.  

Although my mother had previously suggested the possibility of reflux, I poo-pooed the suggestion because the symptoms didn't "match."  Although the baby was fussy, he wasn't projectile vomiting (and in fact, barely spit up), slept in decent stretches, and was appropriately gaining weight.  He nursed ok (although not great, and did better from a bottle once I introduced it around the 3-week mark).  He was just fussy and fidgety every waking hour. It turns out that reflux has a stealth mode - otherwise known as "Silent Reflux" - that doesn't involve any projectile vomiting, but hurts just as much.  And while most babies grow out of it around the 6 to 9-month mark, it makes for a VERY long 6 to 9 months if not diagnosed and treated.  In addition to medication, we were under strict instructions to feed the baby sitting up (as opposed to reclining), leave him sitting up for 30 minutes after each feeding, and put his mattress at an incline.  As you can imagine, these instructions make for some tricky nursing acrobatics, but we made it work (although now I can barely remember how, in all honesty).

In retrospect, I believe that my Baby #2 had undiagnosed reflux.  To this day, I'm overwhelmed with guilt at the notion that not only was he in pain for months, but I let it mess up nursing.  After going dairy-free myself, and then finally moving through soy and the full range of "sensitive tummy" formulas, we finalIy settled on the uber-expensive Alimentum because it was the only thing his little tummy could tolerate.  With him (and his 18-month old older brother in tow), I was in a Baby Bunching haze, quite honestly.  He could've projectile vomited in my face 10 times a day and it probably wouldn't have raised a red flag.   When I stumbled upon a solution that "worked," I didn't question it - I just went with it. For these reasons, I am on a one-woman mission to save all of my mommy friends and their precious darlings from the hell that is reflux. If your baby fusses all the time or never seems "settled,"  consider this friendly advice to ask your doctor (or an objective friend, or a grandma) about the possibility of reflux.  

You can absolutely try going dairy-free, eliminating other gassy foods from your diet and sampling a variety of formulas, but it can take weeks for dairy to work its way out of your system and in the meantime your baby is fussing his way through the "wait and see" approach.  I will admit that I am normally a big proponent of "wait and see" parenting, believing that kids progress differently at different developmental stages and in their own time, and also that some conditions clear up on their own if left alone.  However, this is one situation where if your pediatrician agrees that your baby may be a candidate for reflux medication, it's worth taking a shot at seeing if it works - for your own sanity and the baby's!

it takes a village to make it through

The phrase didn't have much meaning to me until this year and actually most recently, last week. In today's age when extended family might not be around to help us rear our children, we must be open to letting others help us at least make it through the day. And in turn, be willing to lend a helping hand in return.

When my kids were little, it was all I could do to function during the day. I rarely offered to babysit other's kids and even less asked others to watch my kids. When those around you are barely surviving between potty training, diaper changes, preschool runs or a constant string of sickness, the idea of the "village" stepping in to help you raise your kids seems foreign.

Last Monday afternoon I was sick. It was the kind of sick I knew was not going to go away by morning--aches, chills, fever, cough. Husband was away. Tuesday morning when I woke up I couldn't move. I couldn't even get out of bed until I took a few Advil and waited. After 20 minutes I was able to rise to get my kids cereal. (The upside to kids who are 5 and 6 is that they can entertain themselves for a bit and help themselves from the frig.) An hour later I wasn't any better. After a few phone calls, I had my whole network in place. Neighbor #1 offered to walk my kids to the bus. Neighbor #2 said she'd send her oldest over to walk my dog . Neighbor #3 (who is 9 months pg) offered to drop my daughter at gymnastics, pick up my son at school and then bring everyone home. Neighbor #1 brought dinner over. Neighbor #2 sent boys back over for another dog walk and then called to make sure I was alive.

This morning I woke up and felt like my "village" had saved me from my flu bug. An entire day in bed apparently was what I needed to be able to at least function in some capacity.

If there is any one point to this post, it's this: take the time to build your momtourage, get to know your neighbors, pay it back and pay it forward. We can't forge this road ahead alone. Even if you feel you don't have the energy to watch someone's kid for an afternoon, remember even little things like a pick up/drop off, a meal or just watching someone else's kid on the playground while mom runs to the bathroom is all it takes.

trip to the doctor with your bunch*

*alternate title: The Very Best Use For Party Favor Bags

By Rachel Ostlie

Today was a big big trip to the doctor for me and my Bunch (daughter, who just turned 3, and son, 19 months). They were each due for a check-up, plus they each needed a physical as we apply for new health insurance. What that translated to at the pediatrician's office was keeping two toddlers happy in a tiny exam room, a full-body exam for each, two shots and a TB test for Big Baby and three shots and a TB test for Little Baby.

Once they stopped crying, I told them we were going for a walk to see the fishies. Our pediatrician's office is attached to a medical center with a lab, and the lab waiting room has... a huge aquarium. So off we went, their tears forgotten and their hopes buoyed by the thought of fishies. Down one hall, turn a corner, wait to be registered, squirm in chairs as the lady behind the desk took forever to register us, then down another two halls and turn three more corners all to find... the fishies were gone. For some inexplicable reason, they got rid of the aquarium. Now the only consolation was a TV high up near the ceiling, which was only of interest to Big Baby girl.

As I filled out forms (No, they aren't both three years old. No, the boy isn't potty trained.) Little Baby ran wild. The lab technician attended to the next person in line, and I overheard her say “I have two babies I need to draw blood from. But I'll do you first. One of them looks very strong.” I'd like to think that “strong” was what she actually meant, instead of “a real pain in the neck.” So I waddled down the hall to a bathroom, encumbered by my bag, various medical forms, and three winter jackets, calling my ducklings to come with me. The next trial was getting my three-year-old to pee in a cup. It's hard enough for some adults to pee on command, but getting my daughter to do it, with a cup positioned under her little bottom, was a challenge. I ended up having to semi-submerge the cup in the toilet bowl, then lift it up as soon as she started. I didn't get pee on me, but I got who-knows-what from public toilet water. All this while keeping Little Baby from having his own playdate with the johns in the next two stalls.

Back to the lab that no longer had fishies. The lab technician decided she'd try to do Big Baby, who by then was calmly sitting on a couch playing with stickers. Though the blood drawing went painfully slow, we managed to get through it with her. Then it was Little Baby's turn, who is actually in truth VERY strong. Thankfully, by then a second lab technician had arrived, and while I held his body in a legs-plus-arms-bear-hug, the other lab tech held an arm, and the original tech drew the blood. My son's blood had more viscocity than his sister's, and the ordeal was over surprisingly fast. I pulled out the lollypops I had received from the pediatrician's office and saved for the occasion, and granted them all some more TV viewing in the waiting area before we did our long walk to the car, and then home again.

All this would have been a much more painful experience, had I not made a split-second decision before leaving that morning. One that I highly recommend to anyone in for a long trip to the doctor's office, since you don't even have to prep anything. I brought along a party favor bag for each kid. We had been at a birthday party on Saturday, and, as usual, I hid away (there are definite benefits to having kids so young) the ridiculous amounts of candy and useless trinkets that the kids received. Frequently, the candy just sits around and rots. But this time, it had a noble calling. It saved the sanity of a Baby Bunching mommy and two poked and prodded toddlers, with each sticker, trinket, mini-book, and candy piece it contained.

Rachel is a Baby Bunching mom of a daughter (3) and son (1.5). No persons were truly hurt in the writing of this post.

baby bunching battles: diaper rash

My first two years of Baby Bunching were an endless stream of, among other things, diaper rashes.  Two babies meant that someone was always either teething, trying a new food for the first time, or ill with a stomach virus or cold that messed up the pipes.  Heaven forbid it was something contagious, in which case BOTH bums would be red as fire engines.  It was then that I discovered the value of a Costco membership for diapers and wipes (and later, formula), but could never quite find a diaper creme that could nip a diaper rash in the bud.

The funny thing about diaper cremes is that it's one of those weird things that people seem to have brand loyalty to.  Desitin was the ointment of my childhood,  my pediatrician recommended Aveeno, but my son's daycare director swore by A + D ointment (had to be original formula).  A friend recommended Boudreaux's Butt Paste, another used Bert's Bees and a third insisted on Balmex.  In my quest to conquer a two-year long diaper rash, I tried them ALL - never fully settling on one that worked without fail every time.  Until my friend Jen introduced me to her secret recipe, which worked EVERY TIME - frequently after just the first application, but always after 2 or 3.  A friend who is a NICU nurse recently confirmed that she was able to con the recipe for the NICU's "butt paste" out of the pharmacist and it similar, with one slight variation.  I share this with you today, my friends, in the hopes that I can save you from the expense and waste of a drawer filled with pseudo-effective butt products.  Happy pasting!

No-Fail Butt Paste

Combine equal parts:

Lotrimin (or some other athlete's foot or anti-fungal cream - or Polysporin is another alternative)

Desitin (original formula)

Cornstarch mixed with a bit of water to make it pasty

Stir all three together until evenly blended and pasty.  I get a small plastic dish with a lid and make a small "batch" to have on hand for the duration of the rash spell.  But like I said - I've never had to use it more than 2 or 3 times on any given rash.

9 friends every baby buncher needs

One of my favorite activities is to hit the gym in the morning once the kids are off at school and workout to the Today Show. Yes, I know I'm super lame. But I only like the parts before Kathie Lee.

I loved this story. In fact, it came on as I was planning a post in my head about how much a good friend can be vital to a healthy life. Granted, I have no stats to back that up, but I feel a brief tribute to best friends is necessary. Do you have one? When you don't grow up with a sister or close siblings, a best friend can be the absolute best. My co-editor here, Cara, and I met in college. We were roommates, maids-of-honor and Godparents to each other's kids. We share it all. And when I say it all....I mean everything. She is a sister to me in every way. But, we're hundreds of miles apart and probably soon-to-be even farther apart. So when this "6 Friends Every Woman Needs" segment came up on the Today Show I felt as if the Gods were speaking to me.

Apparently, according to this story, having a network of friends can actually increase your life span. No, they're not talking having a million Facebook friends, but a good resource of people who can help complete your friend portrait.

1) Childhood friend: This person knows you. Really knows you. Who you were and who you are now...after the craziness of Baby Bunching. You may not see them often, but when you do it's like nothing has changed and you pick up right where you left off.

2) A new friend: We often get stuck in a rut in our day-to-day Baby Bunching lives. Every once in a while you need a new friend to pull you out. Whether it's someone from your kids' school or a new neighbor. New friends push you to new limits and help you grow and explore yourself beyond the monotony.

3) A workout friend: It is so hard to find time to workout with two little kids. Perhaps they won't stay in the childcare at the gym or you can't find the energy to make it before the kids wake up. Working out, even if it's just a walk around the neighborhood, is crucial for staying healthy, clearing your mind and setting a good example for your children. Even if you prefer to work out alone, finding someone to meet up with makes you accountable. If you bag on them, you disappoint. It makes the workout more enjoyable and something to look forward to rather than dreading.

4) A spiritual friend: Whatever your beliefs, finding someone who can serve as your spiritual peer can help you dig deeper into your soul. It may be hard to discuss religious philosphy over coffee with two kids, but make it a playdate and talk spiritual instead of maternal.

5) A younger friend: You know the newly pregnant mom who moved in down the street? Befriend her. A younger friend, even by a few years or even a few stages in her life, gives you someone to mentor and someone to provide you with new perspective to life.

6) A partner's friend: Your husband's friends can be good for your marriage. Being able to socialize with his long-time pals or work buddies makes for more exciting date nights or gatherings, when everyone enjoys each other's company.

We want to add a few in here as well for Baby Bunchers:

7) Someone who knows your parenting style: You need this one when you're struggling. If you don't let your kids watch TV or you homeschool, finding another parent who is aligned with you can be helpful in your plight. Ideally, it's great to have another Baby Bunching mom who really understands what you're going through and won't judge you for leaving a playdate early or letting the baby cry for a bit in his crib before you get him.  

8) A friend who gets the real you: This can be a hard one to find, but when you do it's amazing. This might even be your mom or your sister. But as you're going through the trials of Baby Bunching, and begin to lose your way, this friend probably can point you in the right direction because they actually know who you are (no rose-colored glasses here.)  

9) A neighbor friend: This is an absolute must! This can mean anyone within walking distance. Especially with small kids close in age, you need to be able to call on someone in a pinch for things. Make sure you return the favors in some way.   

baby steps for baby bunchers in the new year

Typically, I am squarely with Linda in the anti-resolution camp, but this year my hand has been forced.  Between the addition of child #3, a husband who works insane hours and is barely home during the week, starting my own company a year ago, and the start of kindergarten last fall for child #1 (which somehow became an entire-family experience), I have pretty much been spinning out of control for the past year or so.  I have been beating up on my body quite a bit - too much caffeine, too much sugar, too much snacking/grazing instead of meals, too much wine, and not enough sleep and exercise.  No wonder I've been feeling like I'm running on empty! 

I'm sure there are many of you in this same boat because one of the occupational hazards of Baby Bunching is that it is a very physical job to mother very young children.  Make that multiple young children and you're constantly hopping in an effort to feed, water, clothe, bathe, entertain, and monitor little ones who can't do much for themselves. 

While I'm staunchly opposed to setting myself up for failure by making resolutions I know I can't keep, something has got to change when it comes to taking care of myself.  And honestly, I have so much to work on that if I'm actually gonna change it and keep it that way, I've got to do it with baby steps.  So I made a few small goals for myself.  Somehow I'm under the impression that if I write them down for the whole world to see, I might actually STICK to a few of them, so here goes:

• Eat breakfast every day.
• Scale back on the caffeine by drinking 1-2 cups of regular out of the pot hubby makes and then refilling my cup with decaf.
• Go back to 1 Diet Coke a day, a habit I successfully adhered to for 15 years and only recently broke for some reason.
• Sit down and eat lunch and dinner.  It only takes 10 minutes.  Let people cry if I have to.  I deserve to eat, for God's sake.
• Would like to go back to my rule of 1 treat per day, which I have never successfully adhered to.  But I CAN adhere to 2 treats per day.
• PLAY with the kids (without multi-tasking, checking my BlackBerry or doing anything else) for an hour after school.
• Exercise a little each day.  My previous, physically-fit self always believed that it wasn't a workout unless you could commit at least an hour to fit in cardio and strength training and be drenched in sweat at the conclusion.  My new, maternal self has finally realized that something is better than nothing.  20 minutes a day of either is a start. 
• Wine only on weekends.
• Bed no later than midnight during the week.

None of these are earth-shattering, but they're all a (baby) step in the right direction.  Do you have just one or two little changes you'd like to make this year?

product review: Thermos Intak water bottle (with bonus water recipe)

I recently stumbled upon a product I love so much that I just had to share it with you girls.  I am a huge water drinker, and I try to go the reusable bottle route if at all possible to avoid generating waste associated with plastic bottles.  Back in August I had surgery, and Linda was so sweet to send me a care package with goodies such as comfy jammies, trashy celebrity magazines, and this awesome water bottle. 

Seriously, I must have 10 different kinds of water bottles in my cupboard - all of which I used on a rotational basis, including the huge insulated thermos mugs with straws that I got from the hospital when I delivered each of my babies.  In fact, when I had my surgery, I was thrilled to come out of anesthesia to discover that you don't have to be in the maternity ward to get one of these babies - I was able to round out my hospital mug collection without even reproducing again! 

But little did I know that my new Thermos Intak from Lindy would be my new go-to water bottle.  What I love about it is that it has a screw top lid, but a sturdy little plastic straw the pops up so you can sip instead of gulp. Somewhere along the line when I was sick, a doctor recommended to me that I sip water through a straw instead of drinking it out of a glass, claiming that people tend to ingest more water this way (and I have found it to be true for me personally). The bottle comes in 16 and 24 ounce sizes, is dishwasher safe and BPA-free, and I have yet to have a leaking problem with it.  This is a great little bottle for Baby Bunchers because we all know how important adequate water intake is for nursing and staying healthy!

As a bonus, I wanted to share with you my new favorite water recipe. Yes, you read that right - water recipe. Cut up a few orange and lemon slices and toss them in a pitcher of water with some sprigs of mint and a few cranberries. I discovered this when I went to Blogalicious a few weeks ago and I have become addicted. This refreshing combination perks up regular old water and looks festive for entertaining, but is easy enough to make to spice up water drinking on a daily basis.  Cheers!

In light of the upcoming flu season, water intake is more important than ever, and this was one of my biggest challenges as a Baby Buncher (no time to eat, no time to drink, no time to pee, etc.). If you've got any time-tested secrets for making sure you get enough water, do share!