Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

Baby Bunching Bye-Bye

So....we feel incredibly guilty that we left you hanging.  We still get tons of emails from y'all asking for tips, questions, when the book will be published, etc., and we're so grateful that you still love us.  Unfortunately, due to other priorities - mostly work and the fact that our bunches are no longer babies so they ran off and got their own lives and we're running in a million different directions trying to keep up with them.  All of which equals sorely neglected blog.  

We still have a dream that the book will be published, especially since it is like 60% (maybe more) complete and the blog has given us all the "case studies" we could ask for from fellow Bunchers!  We are one or two writing retreat weekends away from having it signed, sealed, and delivered via self-publishing.  We just haven't actually *scheduled* said retreats.  

But fear not - we're not ACTUALLY leaving you alone!  The good news is, the blog generated a couple of ways to get support from other Bunchers (which was really all we wanted all along):

1)  SEARCH the blog.  We brain-dumped just about everything we know about Bunching on the blog.  We promise to pay the hosting fees forever so that it will be here for posterity for you to search any time you want to.  If you scroll down a little, there's a search function in the middle of the right-hand side bar.  You can also click on search by topic at the bottom of the left-hand bar.  Most Baby Bunching questions revolve around sleeping, eating, strollers, and how to keep from going crazy (not necessarily in that order).  Almost everything you want to know has been asked before, so please read the archives - they remain as relevant today as they were the day we wrote them.

2) FACEBOOK page.  We started it, but y'all keep it going!  It's a great place to find and ask questions of other Baby Bunchers.  Please support Web 2.0 by making it a two-way street - ask your questions, but ANSWER those from others as well - it's a way to pay it forward and support other Baby Bunching moms behind you!

3) MEET-UP.  Start them in your local area to meet other Bunchers.  We encourage it.  Use the name Baby Bunchers if you want - although we'd love for you to give us a heads-up if you do, just so we can keep track of what all we're up to.  : )  In fact, if we know about you, we can link to you through the blog or Facebook to help spread the word, so shoot us an email if you get one off the ground.

Finally, do keep a heads-up for the book - we'll post updates here.  We promise it'll get written someday, and while you may not need it by then, we can almost guarantee you'll know someone for whom it would make the perfect baby shower gift.

Thanks for reading and enjoy the early years!  Because before you know it, your Bunches will be bigger and you'll be running even faster to try to keep up with them. Take it from us - cuddle and hug them while they'll still sit on your lap.  Happy Baby Bunching!

quitting thumb-sucking: it's not just hard on kids

When my kids were newborns, I clung fervently to the almighty pacifier as a soother  - even learning to tuck the bottom half right into their "baby burrito" swaddling at night to encourage it to stay in place.  As they grew from sleepy newborns into active infants and the paci kept slipping out and waking them up, I prayed that they would find their thumb/fingers and learn to self-soothe and GO BACK TO SLEEP.  As a recovering thumb-sucker myself, I knew even in that moment that it would be far easier to ditch the paci than the thumb as they got older, but I didn't care one whit.  All I knew was that life had become one constant stream of babies  and I needed a good night's sleep and if it meant I had to saw my first grader's hand off at the wrist someday to cure him of thumb-sucking, so be it.

Fast forward to first (ok, second) grade.  I've got two thumb suckers with loveys and a finger sucker without a lovey, and it's abundantly clear that amputation is not an option.  Time to pay the piper for my past parenting misdeeds.

With my two thumb suckers, the sucking is tied to the lovey and we've made some half-hearted attempts to hide/dispose of lovey during the day but can't bring ourselves to law down the law at night. My own thumb snuck into my mouth at night long after I'd been fitted with braces to correct damage done earlier by said intruder.  So I have every sympathy when my oldest sobs that he "just can't take it" if he can't suck his thumb while he goes to sleep.  

Our finger sucker isn't tied to anything - except his fingers.  All. day. long.  The best we've been able to come up with for him is the pretty much constant admonition to "take your fingers out of your mouth" and "keep your hands busy so they don't creep into your mouth!"  To the point where I'm sure he wants to keep his hands busy by beating us with sticks so that we'll shut up and leave him alone. 

To make matters worse, our pediatric dentists seem fairly unconcerned about either the thumb or finger sucking, although they both said that if we felt like worrying about it, finger sucking is actually worse in terms of tooth displacement.  The fact that my dentists aren't concerned gives me false permission to carry on about my ways, believing that they will eventually "grow out of it". Which I know for a fact is total BS, based on my personal experiences that a well-sucked thumb is tough as leather and even a mouth full of metal is no match for a thumb determined to find it's way home.

Part of me knows I need to lay down the law, and the other part of me, quite honestly, doesn't want my babies to grow up.  I can remember when their threadbare loveys were pristine new baby gifts and I was able to snuggle both lovey and baby right up to my chest.  Now, the sheer stench of my oldest son's feet keeps me from wanting to snuggle him, even if he could still fit on my lap.  And The Caboose has officially reached the age where I try to pull him into my lap and he squirms to break free instead of snuggling in. With the exception of the Pull-Ups on The Caboose, the thumb/finger sucking is the last vestige of "baby" in this house.  

Since we've obviously missed the window on the whole "they'll lose interest as they get older and quit on their own" time-line for my two bigger boys, we're gonna go the orthodontic route.  Biggest boy will be heading in for a spacer, which, the dentist says, will make it so difficult to suck his thumb that he'll probably quit.  My guess is that in another year, Middle will be sent for one as well.  Meanwhile, I'm hoping I can salvage The (just turned three year old) Caboose and cure him using natural methods.  Does anyone out there have tips for quitting thumb-sucking that worked for you? Because I suck at this.

 

moving big to the big boy/girl bed

Here at Baby Bunching, one of our most frequent reader questions is always about whether to move Big to the Big Boy/Girl bed before Baby's arrival or invest in that second crib.  As a general rule, we pretty much always vote for the second crib, but every kid is different, so you can read a few tips on factors to help you decide here.  Some toddlers are ready to move out of the crib at less than two years old and happily snuggle into a toddler bed, box-springless mattress on the floor, or regular bed with crib rail.  Others prefer the safety of the crib bordering into the preschool years, and you will finally have to boot them out for fear that they willl be there so long that it will be problematic to fit their spouse in there with them some day.

But eventually, Big will need to move on up and the transition to a big kid bed can be just as scary for parent as for child (think: errant toddlers wandering in the night and naptime battles thanks to newfound freedom).   A few tips to make the transition easier:

• Determine your child's readiness - If they're repeatedly trying to escape, it's a safety issue and time to ditch the crib.  Yes, there are crib tents, which are great for very little acrobats (under age 2).  But if your child is a little older, why invest in those when the move to a bigger bed is inevitable?  And beware that what's right for one kid may not be right for the next.  Sometimes, little ones with older sibilings are ready even earlier.  We traveled a lot one summer and my Middle ditched the pack-n-play to sleep with big brother so frequently that by the time we returned home, he was DONE with the crib - he'd been sleeping in various big boy set-ups all summer!
• Get the bed right - Toddler beds are great if you have a crib that converts, but we don't neccessarily recommend running out and buying a toddler bed.  It's another baby item that has a short lifespan, when a regular bed (or mattress without box springs) will do just as well.  Shove the bed up against one corner, get a bed rail for the other side, surround the bed with pillows on the ground for the first few nights, and you're good to go.
• Get the room setup right -  First order of business is thoroughly baby-proofing the room, even if you have an older toddler.  We plugged all outlets, wrapped up all window cords, bolted all large furniture to the wall with furniture straps (yes, there IS such a product) and actually removed most toys.  We put a baby gate across the doorway to prevent midnight wandering.  Then we padded the walls (just kidding on that count, but we weren't far from it).  With all boys, we knew that freedom to get out of bed at will could only mean they would go looking for trouble.  So we tried to head it off in advance as best we could.  
• Talk it up, but not too much - Talk about the move, tie it to a reward if you want, and let your child be involved in room setup and decor, if they're interested.  Make it a big deal, but not TOO big of a deal.  Don't let them pick up on your anxiety.  If there's one thing I've learned in 6 1/2 years of parenting, it's that kids are a lot more resilient that we expect them or give them credit to be.  Chances are, your kid's gonna roll with the change - you're the one that will struggle.
• Be firm - Speaking of you, parents play just as much of a key role in the success of the transition as the child.  Your child will get out of bed.  You must send them back. Repeatedly - until they get it that just becuase they are ABLE to leave the bed, doesn't mean they CAN.  Think of transition to big bed as Sleep Training, Phase II.  You taught your infant how to sleep (hopefully) and now you have to provide gentle but firm reminders on how to sleep in a different locaiton.

Did we miss anything?  If there are any transition tips you've learned, do share!

developmental milestones: staying on target

Recently, a fellow Baby Buncher posted her concern on Facebook about her child's "slow" language development, wondering how concerned she really should be about a vocabulary that's on the small side, according to toddler milestone standards.

I can totally sympathize, because I've grappled with this issue with two out of my three boys (Big and Baby- Middle started talking when he was 16 months old and hasn't shut up since then).  One of the challenges about Baby Bunching, especially if you're Bunching your first two babies, is that A) you're a first (and really quickly, second) time mom and you're not really sure what "normal" development looks like and B) you're likely drowning in a sea of diapers and bottles and can barely keep your head above water enough to put out fires that arise on a daily basis, more less go looking for the forest among the flaming trees.

My oldest was a "late bloomer", speech-wise and once he turned 3, I grappled for months with whether to have him evaluated.  At the time, my husband was back in school getting his MBA and we had minimal health care coverage, so it was going to cost me $600 out of pocket for a full speech and hearing evaluation.  I have a genetic hearing loss, so I'm overly cautious about hearing tests (he had passed the one at his two-year checkup with flying colors) but the speech thing was still bugging me.  I was able to scout out a Free Speech and Hearing SCREENING day at a local preschool, but the "wait 6 months and see" inconclusive results from that made me nervous.  So I ponied up the $600, figuring that if there was a problem, I would never forgive myself if I let it go a year or two during his most critical stages of development, all over $600.  In the end, it turned out that he was absolutely fine - just a man of few words.  And he still is.

Fast forward and now Baby (the third of my Bunch, who's not technically Bunched, at 3 years younger than Middle) is almost two. He babbles nonstop and follows multi-step instructions, but doesn't speak clearly or use words to convey what he wants and only says a handful of recognizable words.  And by handful, I mean like 3.  Because of my prior experience with Big, and because I figured he's the youngest and his brothers do a lot of talking for him, I really wasn't too worried.  Enter a visit with Grandma, who works at a school for children with communication and learning differences.  Immediately, she insisted suggested that we take Baby on over to the school and try to squeeze in an appointment with the Speech and Language Pathologist (SLP), breezily insisting that she didn't think anything was WRONG with him, but that on the off-chance there was, early intervention could make all the difference in the world.  

Ten minutes into the appointment, I realized that he was not on target.  Not at all.  Not even a little.  Not only could he not say the words, he refused to participate in the test and became outraged when the SLP (gently and lovingly) insisted that he would.  But he was only half of the problem - the other half was me.  She was asking him questions about colors and shapes and it occurred to me that although I drilled his brothers on these things in the first two years of life, things have been so crazy that I've never really focused on WORKING with him on these things.  He sits through story time every night, but he listens to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Nate the Great, not Big Bird's Guessing Game About Shapes, like his brothers did.  I falsely assumed that he would just assimilate basic things like colors, shapes and words.  He's the baby of the family, so while I expect self-sufficiency from his older brothers, I coddle him - never once forcing him to use his words (even in baby talk) to convey what he wants.  And the word, "no"??  Well, it's no wonder he can't say it - he's never heard it.

It was a true parenting wake-up call.  The SLP sent us away with a homework assignment to focus on learning 5 new words in 6 weeks and a packet of instructional materials to teach us how to help him.  The whole family is in on the act now, with even the Bigs insisting that he use his words.  We're actively working on age-appropriate tasks like colors/numbers/words and Baby has his own story hour, with board books instead of chapter books.  In almost 2 weeks, he's made great progress, adding about ten words - not clear as a bell, but he's trying, at least.  Our next step is to have his hearing evaluated at his 2 year appointment and then follow up with the pediatrician and SLP about next steps.

Baby Bunching, although overwhelming, is still not an excuse for lazy parenting, and I feel I'm guilty (albeit unintentionally) of that with Baby. In this case, early intervention WAS key - even if not necessarily for the baby.  If you're still with me after wading through this long post, my points are this: A) it's never wrong to listen to your gut - if you feel something is "off" - follow your instincts and B) don't let Baby Bunching beat you down to the point that you're blowing off potential problems in the hopes that your Bunch will "grow out of them" or they'll go away.  For a Baby Buncher, the first five years of your kids' life are difficult for you, but that doesn't make them any less critical.  Yes, every child grows at his/her own pace, but be sure you're focused on knowing the milestones (www.healthychildren.org is a great American Academy of Pediatrics site that lists these) and where your Bunch is at in achieving them.  

We often say here on Baby Bunching that the first two years of Bunching is about survival, but sometimes, just surviving isn't enough.

baby bunching bff

"Help! Help! My best friend's dying!", my oldest son sobbed hysterically as he came running (naked and sopping wet) into the room.  Flying back into the bathroom and wondering how my almost-five-year-old could've managed to arrive at death's door since in the 2.5 seconds since I had left the room, I found him sitting up in the bathtub right where I left him.  Just fine and dandy, and surprised as all get out to see his older brother freaking out all over the place.

It turned out that in the few seconds that it took me to lift the Baby out of the tub where all 3 were playing, wrap him in a towel, and carry him from the master bath to the master bedroom, Middle had decided to lick the bar of soap.  And no amount of reassurance could convince Big that his brother was not going to die from it.

Once I had assessed the situation and my heart stopped beating four million miles a minute, I was touched to realize that Big had referred to his brother as "my best friend".  For his part, Middle seemed more upset by the fact that he had scared his brother so badly than by the fact that he was potentially facing death from soap poisoning.  Despite the arguing, head butting, punching, kicking, slamming, stealing, hitting and yelling, at the tender ages of 5 and 6, my boys are truly each other's best friends.

Did it suck for two years of my life to have them so close together?  Yeah.

But was it worth it?  Most definitely.

Today, at least.

the triumphant return to 'popping in'

While the first two years of Baby Bunching are the most difficult and it DOES get easier, my husband and I have found that in some ways we are emotionally scarred forever by the experience.  For me, one of those scars is my reluctance to run "quick" errands with my children.

Some of my standout memories from my early Bunching days is what a pain in the ass it was to go anywhere.  Big was just 17 months old and while he was walking, he was walking neither well, fast, nor in the direction I wanted him to.  This meant that every time I went somewhere, I would make a minimum of 5 trips to the car - one to carry him, one to carry his brother in the infant seat, one to haul our wheels/stroller of choice for that day to the trunk, and one to dump our diaper bag with the bare necessities (still roughly the size of a pack one would carry to climb Mt. Everest).  Then I would make a final trip with the luxuries such as my purse and coffee, taking a deep breath and 60 seconds to compose myself before walking out of my silent home and entering the chaos that was the car.

Once we arrived at our destination, I would repeat the routine in reverse. Between the rigmarole of getting everyone in and out and the craziness that typically transpired once we were actually in the store, I was conditioned to avoid quick errands with my children at any costs.  As they got older, it got easier in some ways (some people could walk) but harder in others (their walking path of choice frequently led directly to the street/parking lot).  Having two kids in car seats gave me a new appreciation for how convenient the easily tote-able infant bucket seat was.  It was such a hassle to get everyone settled that if we were gonna go in somewhere, we were staying awhile.

I still have an aversion to quick errands.  Even though the Bigs (and even the Caboose) now walk, I still envision tangled car seat straps and tears, dawdling on the way to the door of the store, and the occasional mild heart attack generated by a parking lot sprinter.  It's not even worth it to me to make that quick run in to the store to get that bottle of wine and pint of ice cream I so desperately need.

Earlier today, my hand was forced. Responsible for co-hosting a baby shower and needing to pick up the dessert without a spare moment without kids before the shower, I dragged the two Littles to the bakery to "run in" and pick it up.  To my surprise, it wasn't that bad.  The Bigs are both in boosters and can buckle themselves, which is HUGE.  They can open and close the sliding door themselves and are even willing to help me carry stuff sometimes.  For the most part, they stick close to me instead of running like heathens through the parking lot.  The Caboose is much more compliant that they were at his age, so he is mostly content just to walk holding my hand and be buckled back into the seat when we're done.  It did help that I was short one kid, but still - I realized that the past several quick errands haven't been that bad either.

Could it be that after 6 years, I've made my triumphant return to being able to dash into the store for a gallon of milk to go with my wine?

baby bunching benefit: if you wait long enough, they will teach themselves

I've posted before that I often wonder if I've done my kids a disservice by having a flock of them right in a row (3 in 4 1/2 years). It just seems that there is NEVER enough of me to go around. The weird thing is that yes, while it was hard Bunching the first two, I felt capable of meeting needs even if I was a little frazzled at times.  But as I added a third child and the needs of the other two have grown more complex as they age (it's not just about eat/sleep/poop anymore!), I feel like I'm shortchanging one of the three of them every time I turn around.

A great example is Middle, who has been begging to have the training wheels taken off his bike for weeks.  When his older brother was 4 1/2, we spent several afternoons on the driveway, coaching and cheering him on with the entire family.  Now that Middle is 4 1/2, his older brother Big (a future X gamer) is hell on wheels and zips up and down the driveway cutting off cyclists, scooterists, and innocent pedestrians alike.  It is a miracle he hasn't knocked a tooth out, broken an arm, or split a head open - his own or someone else's.  Younger brother the Caboose is in the nightmare toddler stage where he wants to sprint for either the street or the nearest high cliff at any chance he gets with no regard for safety. As you can imagine, we have a hard time getting motivated for the prospect of 19 false starts up and down the driveway and the resulting tears that would surely follow from two-wheeling lessons for Middle.

Fortunately for him, he's nothing if not persistent and he finally wore down persuaded his Dad, who removed the training wheels on Sunday. Bracing ourselves for lots of falls and tears, we let him rip.  And then stood there with our jaws open as he tore down the driveway on two wheels on the first try! Damned if the kid wasn't ready to do it on his own!

And this isn't the only time this has happened.  Big and I had endless potty training fights until Middle came along and I dropped it because I was too busy.  One day when he was about 3 1/2, he walked into the bathroom and peed in the toilet and never had an accident in his pants.  Similarly, I was so busy corralling 3 kids at the dinner table that it never occurred to me to hand the Caboose a spoon to feed himself.  Until he grabbed a fork off my plate one day right around his first birthday and started eating with it like he'd been using it his whole life.

Now that I've written this, I plan to bookmark it so that I can revisit it anytime I feel guilt creeping in that I'm not constantly coaching one of my kids in some area of skill development. Sometimes, a little self-sufficiency and genuine readiness can carry a kid a lot further than helicopter parenting can.

how much does bunching shape the members of your bunch?

We're currently in the process of deciding whether or not to send the younger of our Bunch to Kindergarten in the fall or wait until next year, since he is a late July birthday and will have just turned 5 when school starts.  Academically, he's probably more prepared for K than our oldest was (February birthday), but we're weighing his social readiness.  He's a (constant) finger sucker, still has some separation anxiety issues on occasion, lacks confidence in unfamiliar settings, is hyper-competitive, refuses to participate in new/unfamiliar environments, and is slow to warm up in groups where he doesn't know anyone. 

Sound like your average 4 1/2 year old, much? On the one side, we feel like he still has a lot of time to grow up before school starts in the fall.  On the same side, we wonder if some of that is just HIM - that he'll always be a more competitive, less outgoing, and little more sensitive than his older brother. 

On the flip side, we wonder if by holding him back and letting him be the oldest in his class instead of the baby might provide a much-needed confidence boost.  Plus, it might not hurt to have a year in school in between him and his (very different) older brother.  Not only do I foresee the potential for more complicated social dynamics with shared friends, etc. when they get older, it would be really nice for the younger one not to immediately follow in the older one's footsteps with every teacher, coach, etc.

I've had numerous discussions debating the pros and cons of starting Kindergarten with several of my friends who, ironically, are in the very same boat (Baby Bunchers with the baby of the Bunch having a summer birthday).  Upon comparison, it's interesting to note (and it may just be coincidence) that all of our eldests are outgoing and confident, while all of our youngers are sensitive and a little more reserved.  We all know the impact birth order has on personality - is it possible that spacing makes a difference, too? 

I often wonder about how having my boys so close together may have impacted them.  My oldest had to grow up pretty quickly and be more independent when his brother came along, even though he was still just a baby himself!  As a Baby Buncher, I shushed and pampered the second child because, frankly, it was just easier and faster to do it myself than go at his pace and wait for him to do it. And bless his heart, just about the time things calmed down a little and we could move at his pace, his baby brother came along, landing him solidly in the middle of a pack of three boys less than 4 1/2 years apart.

Going back to the Kindergarten issue, we've pretty much decided to hold him back.  If he experiences some incredible emotional growth spurt over the summer, we can always decide to go ahead and send him to K at the last minute, but otherwise he'll be enjoying another year in preschool along with a lot of other Baby Bunched friends with summer birthdays.  Maybe the chance to be on the top of the heap at school will counteract the fact that he never really had a chance to be King of the Hill at home.

what kids really learn in preschool

As a follow-up to last week's post on the preschool admissions process for those of you weighing preschool options, I wanted to share a little gem I came across years ago.  Somewhere along the line with one of my three children, I got a wonderful handout on "What Kids Really Learn in Preschool" (from my preschool, natch).  Several commenters last week raised the issue of opting out of preschool, and the list below can easily be adapted for ideas for suggested skill-building activities to do at home or even at playgroups, which is why I've kept it on file for so long. 

I searched and was not able to find a source for this on line, but I've found it so valuable that I'll re-type the whole thing for you girls.  Happy play learning!

"What Kids Really Learn in Preschool" by Barbara Soloman

1)  How to be a student.  Although a preschool room can seem unstructured at times, there are many rules and routines designed to teach children how to conduct themselves in a classroom and be part of a group.  Children know where to put their finished projects, how to walk in line, and where to sit at story time.

2) How to make friends.  Preschool offers opportunities for children to forge friendships and settle differences without the help of a parent or caregiver.

3) How to be independent.  Parents tend to help their children with the small tasks of everyday life.  Preschool teachers, who have classrooms of 10 or more children, encourage students to take more responsibility.  Children learn how to put on their own jackets, wash their hands, and more.

4) How to tell a story.  Children in preschool have many opportunities to hear stories, as well as tell them and act them out with classmates. Children will begin to recognize the importance of the printed word.

5) How to ask for help.  Preschoolers develop confidence and inner strength to speak up for themselves.

6) How to cut and paste.  Art projects are definitely expressions of creativity for preschoolers, but working with scissors, glue sticks, and crayons also helps children develop fine motor skills that will help them with letter formation in kindergarten, and even note taking in high school.

7) How to build a block tower.  When children play with blocks or other manipulatives, they learn to sort and classify.  Building with blocks helps children with spatial skills and gives them an early foundation for understanding higher math concepts.

8) How to recognize symbols, concepts, and rhymes.  Preschoolers begin to identify numbers and letters, and develop a useful understanding of shapes and colors.  Rhymes and songs will also help children academically.  Children who know how to rhyme will learn to read more easily.

9) How to hop, skip, and jump.  Daily outside play helps preschoolers strengthen their muscles and develop coordination.

10) How to investigate and explore.  Preschoolers are natural scientists and they benefit from having plenty of hands-on, self-directed experimentation.

toddlers are people too

I LOVE babies, but I have never been a fan of the toddler.  Scarred by my two previous face offs with toddlers, I've always just pretty much assumed that the very act of being between the ages of 9 and 36 months renders a person completely and totally irrational and impossible.

Enter The Caboose.  He recently turned 17 months old, which is exactly the same age his oldest brother was when the middle brother was born.  Have I lost you yet?  

This time I'm seeing this age through a whole new lens, as if for the first time.

When my first baby was 17 months old, I had just delivered another baby.  The oldest didn't walk or talk well, although he certainly had a mind of his own.  The newcomer, a fussy and demanding baby, commanded most of my attention.  Suddenly, I lost patience for Big Baby's insistence on doing things his way, his lack of ability to effectively communicate and his exhausting sense of adventure.  Two babies, each difficult in their own way, meant I was in survival mode.

When my second baby was 17 months old, I was coming off of four-and-a-half straight years of pregnancy, nursing, diapers, and lack of sleep.  I was so exhausted I couldn't see straight.  Thankfully the second baby, while difficult as a newborn, was a fairly mellow toddler.  He was very early verbal and lacked his brother's drive to go searching for trouble. Still, it was an exhausting job to manage TWO toddlers.  The only way to keep myself sane was to keep us all busy, so I orchestrated an endless stream of play dates and baby classes designed to run the wee ones so ragged that they would sleep soundly at nap and bedtime.  At play dates with my mommy friends, who were my biggest support system, I longed for the boys to go away and play so that I could chat and drink my coffee.  Instead, they just had Constant Needs in a different location.  Desperate for time for myself, I happily shipped them both off to Parents Morning Out one day a week and lived for Wednesday mornings.

Fast forward three years to my third foray into toddler hood.  It's a totally different ballgame this time.  Yeah - some things suck (like squeezing in a toddler nap schedule) because my big boys are school-aged and constantly on the go.  But mostly I'm just enjoying the things I didn't even SEE the last two times.  Like actually watching and hearing the way my toddler IS communicating with me, even if his language isn't quite as developed as mine yet.  Or watching him explore his toys and figuring out how they work, whether he's on his own or trying to get in on his brother's games.  Or endlessly repeating his favorite game of running from the across the room to be scooped into my arms.  Or the precious way he starts humming "our" song the moment I sit down to rock him before bedtime.  The way he finds bath time splashing hilarious, the way he reacts to new foods, the way he stamps his foot when he doesn't like what I'm telling him, and the way he does actually listen and follow directions even though he can't say a lot yet. Instead of finding his strong-willed, high-energy ways challenging or annoying, I find him so precious I could literally eat him with a spoon.

I revel in these moments, but they also make me sad that I was so harried and frazzled that I missed this with my two oldest kids.  I would never, ever change my life as a Baby Buncher - siblings close in age are the greatest gift I've been able to give my boys.  But I'm sure glad there was an Act Three to this show.

Believe it or not, I've become such a fan of the toddler that I actually request that room (not the most popular one, if you can believe it) for my church nursery volunteer shift.  And with a new appreciation for these special little people, I see myself staying there long after The Caboose leaves it.