Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

car organization: what every buncher needs in the car

As I sat through the OfficeMax Blogcast today with Peter Walsh, I realized a few things about organization--a key point, which is to have everything you need within reach AND organize everything first then buy containers to fit them. And while he was mainly talking about organizing paperwork, I think you can apply some the lessons learned to organizing your car.

Unless you live in a major city, you probably spend a good deal of time in your car everyday. Just like you keep your home and office organized and equipped and somewhat streamlined, you also need to be smart about what's in your car beyond just car seats and toys.

What You Should Store in Your Car:

1) Every mom needs a "just in case" bag of some kind. It doesn't have to be an actual bag, but the contents need to be there. What's in it will change as your kids grow so make sure from time-to-time that you update it with the correct size diapers and clothes. In your car, you need an extra outfit (for each kid and preferably even you) and extra diapers/underwear. This will save you from having to carry it around in your diaper bag since you just have to make it back to the car to change.

2) Wipes. Even now with my kids at 4 and 5 we have wipes in the glove compartment for all kinds of fun things. Sometimes I even use them as entertainment and let them "wash" my windows to keep them quiet.

3) A towel. I ALWAYS have a towel in my car. I have used this for so many things including wiping the slides at the playground after the rain, cleaning up spills, changing pad, etc.

4) A few toys/books/crayons. Even if you don't want your car looking like a toy store, keep a few items (and rotate them out) to throw back at the kids for entertainment purposes. I like to keep these up front so they appear new now and then. Plus, they are great to have on hand for restaurant trips.

5) Music. We're big fans of kid music (most of the time). Rotate out the music so it's fresh for everyone.

6) Snacks. Even some raisin packs, juice boxes, crackers, etc. are great to have on hand in case people are STARVING at some point. (Isn't that all the time.) My husband fusses at me for this one, but I don't care.

7) Bags. Plastic bags are great for nasty diapers, wet clothes, or using as a liner for a potty. Just keep a big ball of them in the bag. They're great to have on hand. AND you can always use them at the grocery store for....groceries.

8) Potty. When my kids were potty training, we kept an extra potty in the back of the car for playground trips--sometimes Although as soon as you think your kid is potty trained you'll wish you had left the potty in the car. (Tip: Just leave it in the car.)

9) Jacket or sweater. I can't tell you how many times we get somewhere at some odd time of the year and someone is cold. Just keep one in your car. I promise you will be glad you have it. Nothing sucks more than having to go home because people are cold. (You might keep an umbrella in there for you, but kids don't care about getting wet.)

10) Mini first aid kit + more. Keep a few band aids and Neosporin around for incidentals. Vaseline has been a good on to have on hand for many things (diaper rash, chapped lips, boo boos, etc.) And in the summer sunscreen of some kind and bug spray.

11) Dixie cups and plastic spoons/fork. I know this sounds strange, but this is another one that doesn't take much. Just keep a few in there for sharing with friends or dividing out a bag of goldfish so kids don't have to share. Snack traps are great, but in a pinch bathroom dixie cups will get the job done for older kids. And a giant bag of plastic spoons/forks has been a lifesaver so many times. I don't know why, but it has.

12) Hand sanitizer. Really, need I say more?

13) Reading material for mom. There have been many times that I'm stuck in carpool line, kids are napping or we're waiting for the library to open. Throw a few catalogs or magazines for your own reading enjoyment just in case people are quiet in the back seat and give you a minute to relax.

Now that you have everything you need, how do you store it? There are all kinds of fun "car organizers" for these things. But really, you just need a few boxes of some kind. Ones you can hose down tend to be better. Keep the wipes, hand sanitizer, magazines, music, toys, snacks all within your reach. I keep the cups/spoons in my glove compartment. The rest can be thrown in the trunk. Keep the things in up front one container so you can move it when you need to and the rest in some kind of trunk container. I never leave stuff between my kids because they just hurl books at each other. But if your kids are better at that game, then keep the toys back with them.

I'm sure I'm missing something so please share with us what you keep in your car to help keep you organized. 

car seat: could'a, would'a, shoulda's

Like in most other aspects of Baby Bunching, hindsight is 20/20 when it comes to car seat purchases.  If we had a nickel for every time we thought "If I'd only known then what I know now", we'd have enough money for an entire warehouse of Britax Marathons and Bugaboo strollers.

In today's post we share our car seat lessons learned with you. Between the two of us, we have purchased 12 car seats over the years, a process that could've been significantly streamlined had we had the benefit of the wisdom we are about to share with you. 

We do issue the disclaimer that since our Bunches have pretty much settled into boosters and Cara's 1-year old caboose is using his brother's hand-me-downs, we are not completely up to speed on all the latest and greatest models.  As with strollers, it seems that car seat gear is constantly evolving, only we don't have quite the love affair with car seats that we do with strollers.  So we are counting on you, dear readers, to chime in about the newest seats on the market.  But we'd like to make a few key points:

• Linda would like to say that she loves all things Britax. She loves her Roundabout so much that she's been unable to part with it, despite the fact that she no longer has a child riding in it (note: she now reports that there is now a Roundabout 50, which goes up to 50 lbs).  Linda loves the design, the quality, the ease of installation and cleaning, the comfort level, the safety rating, all of it - Britax is the total package.  She maintains that it just makes all other car seats feel inferior.  The biggest drawback:  the price tag, natch.  She couldn't justify the cost of the Britax booster seat when it came time to move up. Turns out this may have been a good thing, since Cara's good friend Jen posted just today about how she's had it up to here with her Frontier and traded it in for a Graco Nautilus (speaking of seats that get rave reviews).
• Cara's big advice is that she wishes she had skipped the convertible car seat with the 40 lb limit and gone straight to the mega convertible that goes all the way to belt positioning booster (in her case, the Cosco Alpha Omega Elite).  The Elite goes to 100 lbs and would've rendered both her Evenflo Triumph (which she loves, by the way) and Graco High Back Turbo Booster obsolete.  If she had to do it all over again, she would've gone straight from the infant carrier to mega convertibles for everyone.
• Speaking of infant carriers, they are now recommending that babies stay rear facing a lot longer than they did when our Bunches were tiny.  Back in the day, just about everyone had a Graco Snug Ride (up to 22 lbs), but now Graco SnugRide 32 goes up to 32 lbs and the Chicco Key Fit 30 goes up to 30. Both allow you to keep your baby in rear facing infant seats longer and continue to realize the benefits of the super convenient SnapNGo type strollers - yay!
• Earlier this week, we posted about the dilemma of fitting 3 car seats across a single row.  We've researched it a little further and confirmed that word on the street is that the Sunshine Kids Radian is definitely the way to go.  This little underdog of car seats gets major props from Car & Caboodle for being not only narrow, but solid (built on a steel alloy frame), comfy, easy to install, foldable for travel, and usable from birth to 80 lbs in a 5 point harness (just not super plushly comfortable for tiny infants).

So there you have it, guys and gals.  Our down and dirty guide to what we wish we knew way back when - happy car seat shopping!

the car is my second home

(Note: Total stream of consciousness . . . beware)

The car makes me tired. Loading. Unloading. I swear the car is like my second home. I have a second of everything stashed away in there--wipes, clothes, underwear, bags, sunscreen, toys, books, even plastic spoons. I rarely clean out the car so it smells. My husband has tried to forbid me from feeding the kids in the car because it stinks so bad. Yes, that's right. On the floor you'll find smooshed up pretzels, crackers, raisins and maybe even an old apple. Yes, it's that gross. But feeding my kids in the car keeps them quiet.

Back in the day, my car was filled with toys for the kids and reading material for me--just in case someone was sleeping when we got somewhere. I would call friends and write blog posts in the car. If I had an iPhone it would be my mini office, except for the smell of the forgotten milk bottle.

When they were little, I couldn't wait to get kids into the car after a long, exhausting trip anywhere, fought kids into carseats as they wriggled around resisting the buckle, rolled my eyes as everyone screamed because we waited too long to leave a place, and then rejoiced when we finally got out of the car at home. Sometimes taking a few minutes to just stand outside the car and take a very deep breath.

I load people in and out all day driving them to camp, school, classes and playdates. Before they were in school, we drove to playdates and sometimes just the mall. Hell, sometimes I just drove so at least everyone was strapped in and couldn't get hurt. But now they are old enough that the just LEAN into each other and it makes it yet another chore. I guess before that they just hurled toys at each other. So really, it's the same.

I am pleased to announce that I finally reclaimed my radio after 4 years. Somewhere around the time my son was one, he started to prefer The Wiggles, Sara Hickman or Laurie Berkner. And for almost 5 years that's what I heard when the car was in drive. But I finally put my foot down and said, "NO!" Sometimes Mommy needs her own music.

The car (Ok this the third car in 5 years--blame it on moving) has seen many car seats and heard many fights. My kids have been fighting since the day they both could talk. Ok, even before that. The car seems too loud to me and I often wish I had a minivan so they were at least THAT much farther away from me (and my ears).

But at least I'm not driving a stick anymore. Nothing is worse with a Bunch than learning (yes, learning) to drive a stick with an 18-month old and a 2 month old. Phone ringing, bottles dropping, toy throwing...all while trying to change gears. Not a pretty sight. 

The car is difficult for me to understand. I use it now to get from point A to point B and sometimes we have great discussion and a good time. But really, now, I prefer to walk. It just seems so much easier.

Do you love your car trips, too?

baby bunching it in the car: 3 carseats across

Almost two years ago, I did something I swore I would never do:  buy a minivan.  It sucks because this over-sized, unwieldy, un-sexy vehicle is also undeniably convenient when you happen to have small children.  At the time, I drove a zippy little Honda CR-V that I absolutely adored,but it was becoming increasingly frustrating for me to fit our Bunch, their double stroller and assorted diaper bags, and my Costco runs into the vehicle, so we caved on the van front.  Although our minivan is incredibly spacious and convenient, it is neither zippy nor little.  To this day, I experience a twinge of sadness each morning when I watch my husband pull out of the driveway in the CR-V and I revel in doing my weekend errands where I get to "downsize" to the CR-V.  Yeah, my life is kinda pathetic like that.

ANYWAY, there are some intrepid souls that are determined to Baby Bunch without the assistance of a minivan and my hat is off to them.  We recently got a question from a friend who is looking to purchase "a good city car that will fit 3 car seats." Linda and I were at an absolute loss as to what such a car might be, so we thought we'd throw it out to you, gentle readers.  Anyone got any suggestions?

I will say that for a time, we were able to fit 3 car seats across our CR-V (which is built on a Civic chassis) while our youngest was in the infant seat.  Once he moved to a convertible, it became impossible for his older brother to access the seat belt for his booster. Linda can kind of sqeeze 3 seats across in her RAV-4, bu she has the same problem of getting everyone in unless two of the seats are boosters. I do know someone who was able to fit 3 across a sedan by changing to Sunshine Radian car seats, which are a little narrower.  A bit of research has told us that a Honda Accord and Toyota Camery do a good job of putting all three kids next to each other, but with the way cars changes, we're not 100% if that's still true. All that to say, sometimes "fitting" isn't just about the car, it's also about the seats (which, while not cheap, are cheaper than buying a new car!).

Speak up, city dwelling Baby Bunchers - got any suggestions for our urban mama?

doing the carseat shuffle

I finally managed to wrestle both kids into the car after their normal car nonsense (usually 5 minutes of hurling themselves in the back or turning on all the lights). As I was strapping my youngest in I realized she was starting to look a bit big for her car seat. Uh oh! I knew she was nearing the 40 pound limit for the seat, but now I noticed the straps were a bit too low and her ears were nearing the top of the seat. (Britax's benchmark for an outgrown car seat.)

In Baby Bunching there are three big purchases that are usually need to be made--and made strategically. We’ve touched a bit on cribs/big kid beds and talked a lot about double strollers. One area we haven’t talked much about is the car seat. I bring this up now because I’m about to make what I believe will be my final car seat purchase for a long time. (Note: I'm a little sad about this.)  

With kids farther apart in age, you may have a bit of wiggle room on your car seat purchases. But with kids close in age, the decision has to be made quicker and perhaps a bit more strategically. Car seats are expensive and can take up excess room if you live in small quarters or drive a smaller car like we do.

When my first child started to near the weight limit on his infant bucket seat, I immediately felt the need to bump him up to a more comfortable ride. Enter the convertible car seat. But my poor second child had limbs hanging over her infant seat before I was ready to give in and move her. Why? Because infant seat meant she was transferable from car to home, home to car, car to shopping cart, etc. Once she was out the seat, I would be left with two kids to contend with in parking lots or even in my own foyer.

My youngest was just about nine months old when I realized the infant seat was just WAY too small for her physique. Of course, she outgrew that bucket seat right about the time that Alex started a preschool where I had to walk him in (up a snowy hill) everyday. Super convenient. Moving her up to the convertible car seat meant I had to look into buying another one since my oldest was only two at the time. 

So what car seat would give us the most bang for our buck with two kids so close in age?

There are a plethora of car seats out there and even more since I had to make the decision. But I wanted this car seat purchase be the next to the last I would have to make. My current car seat was a Britax Roundabout. I cannot say enough good stuff about this car seat. Mostly the ease of getting it in and out of the car was a huge factor as was the fact that it was so easy to adjust and buckle. But buying another Roundabout would mean I would have to eventually buy two more car seats since seats only fit kids up to 40 pounds. I wasn’t interested (at the time) of purchasing the larger Britax Marathon although in retrospect, I wished I had. Instead I bought a Cosco convertible (which also converts to a booster later). Besides the fact that it is damn near impossible to get in the car without a lot of cursing from me as I do it, it’s been an OK car seat for us. 

So currently the configuration goes: big kid in Cosco seat, little kid in Britax Roundabout. But soon, my youngest will inherit the Cosco seat from her big brother as we move him up to a high-back booster.

So my tip to you Baby Bunchers making your next car seat purchase. Do some research into one that will take you through a few years. If your kids are close in age, it may be more difficult to just 'hand down' the older car seat. Some shuffling may be required. Buying one that will take you through the toddler and preschool years might be a good investment.

Check out Car-Seat.org which has its own blog dedicated only to car seats, along with tons of reviews from parents and experts and tips for what might work best for your kids, family and car.

Let us know how about your car seat selection for your Bunch.

by the time we put on our seatbelts...

Once upon a time, long time ago, before children, I used to laugh when Cara’s mom would say “if we’re going to get there by 5, then we have to be ready to go at 4. By the time we get out the door and put on our seatbelts and drive there . . . “ 

STOP! Put on our seatbelts? How freakin’ long does it take to put on seatbelts and why does it need its own line item?

This cracks me up now, only for different reasons. Seatbelts take a long, long time to get on in my house. And even longer if it’s cold outside. And sure enough when getting everyone to school in the morning, I have to factor in about 8 full minutes of getting everyone into the car and putting on seatbelts.

I wish I could say this was a new thing, but the first winter we spent in Sweden (Alex was about 20 months and Anna was 4) I spent months fighting with him about keeping his jacket while in the car seat. Why? It wasn’t that I really cared about him having it on in the car. It was the added step of taking it off before getting into the seat and putting it on after—all while balancing my baby and some other ad hoc items. I was soon known to just sprint from the mall/grocery store with him unjacketed (bad mom!) just to avoid the fight. Who knew that four years later I’d be having this same fight with both kids!

The car seat battle is a daily one…often more than once a day. Both kids get in at their pace. They don’t want you to put them in the car, they must climb in themselves. Sometimes there are limbs still sticking out of the car while they’re getting in. They’ll find a cool toy on the floor or hang from the handle. They especially like to do this when it’s raining,and I’m still standing outside getting wet and cold while trying to herd them in. Then they climb into the car. Sometimes they are hanging upside down from their car seats. Yes, they actually really do this. Sometimes they turn on all the interior lights. Sometimes they jump into the back part of the car. Super fun. 

Once they are in their seats, you’d think we’d be almost there. If they are wearing summer clothes, then we are. Both kids get in, buckle themselves in on their own, and we’re good. (Reminder: it did take us 8 minutes to get from the door to this point.) If it’s cold out, and they have sweaters, coats, rain jackets, etc., that somehow necessitates them shedding layers for our very brief journey. This is super fun when it’s raining like today because when we get to our destination, I have to stand there in the rain and negotiate which pieces of outwear need to be on. All of them!

I was sure this car loading and unloading would get easier with time. It hasn’t. I think actually prefer when everyone is just strapped in and can’t do and undo their own car seats.

in the backseat

Sometimes I really wish I could put up one of those plastic dividers that NYC cab drivers have in their cars. Zip . . . open it up when I want to hear the cute singing from the backseat. Zip . . . close it when the whining and fussing starts. I have a love/hate relationship with the back seat. On one hand my precious cargo reside in their seats with all their cute idiosyncracies. I love the songs and the discussions. I love to hear them working out a problem or bargaining for a later bedtime. But what I do NOT love is the fighting, the crying, the whining, the throwing of books/toys, the leaning over to pinch each other or crocs that come shooting at my face. Oh yes, I have seen it all.

But today after driving home from back-to-school shoe shopping (one of my other not-so-favorite activities), the noise from the backseat was beyond my decibal level. We were stuck in rush hour traffic--which of course didn't help anything--and my son had to pee. I could hear my daughter starting to spiral. "Mommy, I'm hungry. Why didn't I get any Legos. My tummy hurts. I have to pee. Where are my new ponytail holders. Where's my daddy. I need my daddy." Then my son starts in. "Mommy, I really have to pee. Why is there so much traffic? Are we ever going to get home? Anna, don't push me. Mom, Anna pushed me. Mom, I really have to pee right now." Then my daughter starts to get pissed. I hear her rip the velcro from her shoes. But I know that sound. That is the sound of mom-I'm-mad-and-I'm-going-to-throw-my-shoes. I stopped her. "Hey there. If you are taking off those shoes to throw at me, remember what I told you. What gets thrown up here, like the toy you just threw, will be taken away from you." Silence. Ah ha! I have detected the sound and beat her at her own game.

See, those sounds from the backseat of the early Baby Bunching days don't end when kids can talk. I remember hearing crying and screaming from both kids for a long time. One kid would set off the other and the whole car would be a rockin' good time of crying babies. Oh so fun. As they got older, my son would provoke Anna or I would enlist him to keep her awake until we got home, which usually meant screaming at the top of his lungs or throwing toys until she would scream bloody murder. Also so fun. We're a party household, can't you tell? At some point the evitable "line" appeared. "He touched my seat." "She touched my seat." And we'd go back and forth with that.

Seriously, can I get a divider installed in my car. Would they do that while they fix my broken CD player in my car?

ready for second car seat?

When it comes time to put the second car seat into the car, you may wonder where to start. The car seat might be in the middle--which is ideal for many reasons, one which includes not kicking your seat. This topic was discussed today in my mom's group so it had me thinking on why we decided the arrangement we did. As Baby Bunchers, you don't have the luxery of a child who will play with toys very long or even read a book. You do have to worry about toys being hurled at the baby as well. Yes, it's true. It will happen. When my daughter was born, I started by putting the baby behind the passenger seat. I thought it would be better to see her and be able to hand items to her. Well, a baby doesn't need much handed to her. So after spending much time diving down to pick up lost toys behind my seat, we decided to move my older child behind the passenger seat.

This set up worked well for us because as unsafe as it was--believe me you will do many crazy things--I could still pick up my toddlers' toys and wedge a bottle pacifier into my baby's mouth (all while driving a stick shift). As a side note:  a manual transmission does not mix with Baby Bunching. 

seatbelts, carseats, chaos . . . peace at last

Managing two kids in and out of carseats for the last two years has been one of those tough but necessary activities. Multiply that by the back and forth in the car several times a day and you have instant headaches.

But my day has finally come. I never thought I’d get to the point where my kids could open the car door themselves, climb in to the carseats, and strap themselves in. We did it today

Flashback on the past 2 years:
The early days . . . Anna was in her infant seat crying most of the time. Alex used to cry because Anna was crying. I would put Alex in the car, back it out of the garage, then run in the house to get Anna’s bucket seat (since the garage was too small for loading everyone in together.) Reverse on the way back in.

As Anna got older but still faced the back, she would cry since she couldn’t see me. Alex would get irritated that she was crying and then throw things at her. That would piss her off more. I would still always load Alex in first on the way in and last on the way out since she sat nice and neat (not quiet) in her infant seat.

The day that Anna moved up to the big girl carseat, I had a meltdown. I would load her in first to make sure she was secure while Alex spring boarded off of my nice leather Volvo seats. At this point she was about 9 months and he was 2 years old. Neither one had a concept of traffic so as long as we were going from stroller to car or car to stroller we were doing OK. Sometimes, poor Anna was halfway strapped in, hanging out of the car while I sprinted to get him as he wandered to the end of the driveway. This was when we stopped running errands together as a threesome.

When Anna’s car seat turned around and they both could read books, getting in was a lot easier. Alex, by then, could climb in himself and spent a good deal of time trying to get the buckle fastened. This gave me time to get her in without the fear that he might make a run for it. The trips themselves were bad as they fought over books and toys in the back of the car. Sometimes shoes would fly past by face into the windshield if I ignored their pleas for books on the floor.

About the time Alex turned 3, he was able to fully get into the car and fasten the belt himself so I only had Anna to contend with. She fought and pleaded, arched her back and did everything in her power to make sure she didn’t have to seat in the carseat. I fought back with a vengeance and made her sit! But, I only had the one now to deal with.

Most recently, the game had become musical car seats. Both kids would climb in and switch carseats, switch again and then switch again. Once we started backing out, they would cry that they wanted to be in the other seat. This game got old quickly and I finally just told them that Alex was too big to ride in Anna’s seat. That seemed to fix the problem.

>Yesterday was the milestone. Both my kids went to their side of the car, opened the door, climbed in, shut the door, got in their carseats and buckled themselves in before I even managed to get all my gear in the door.