Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

Baby Bunching Bye-Bye

So....we feel incredibly guilty that we left you hanging.  We still get tons of emails from y'all asking for tips, questions, when the book will be published, etc., and we're so grateful that you still love us.  Unfortunately, due to other priorities - mostly work and the fact that our bunches are no longer babies so they ran off and got their own lives and we're running in a million different directions trying to keep up with them.  All of which equals sorely neglected blog.  

We still have a dream that the book will be published, especially since it is like 60% (maybe more) complete and the blog has given us all the "case studies" we could ask for from fellow Bunchers!  We are one or two writing retreat weekends away from having it signed, sealed, and delivered via self-publishing.  We just haven't actually *scheduled* said retreats.  

But fear not - we're not ACTUALLY leaving you alone!  The good news is, the blog generated a couple of ways to get support from other Bunchers (which was really all we wanted all along):

1)  SEARCH the blog.  We brain-dumped just about everything we know about Bunching on the blog.  We promise to pay the hosting fees forever so that it will be here for posterity for you to search any time you want to.  If you scroll down a little, there's a search function in the middle of the right-hand side bar.  You can also click on search by topic at the bottom of the left-hand bar.  Most Baby Bunching questions revolve around sleeping, eating, strollers, and how to keep from going crazy (not necessarily in that order).  Almost everything you want to know has been asked before, so please read the archives - they remain as relevant today as they were the day we wrote them.

2) FACEBOOK page.  We started it, but y'all keep it going!  It's a great place to find and ask questions of other Baby Bunchers.  Please support Web 2.0 by making it a two-way street - ask your questions, but ANSWER those from others as well - it's a way to pay it forward and support other Baby Bunching moms behind you!

3) MEET-UP.  Start them in your local area to meet other Bunchers.  We encourage it.  Use the name Baby Bunchers if you want - although we'd love for you to give us a heads-up if you do, just so we can keep track of what all we're up to.  : )  In fact, if we know about you, we can link to you through the blog or Facebook to help spread the word, so shoot us an email if you get one off the ground.

Finally, do keep a heads-up for the book - we'll post updates here.  We promise it'll get written someday, and while you may not need it by then, we can almost guarantee you'll know someone for whom it would make the perfect baby shower gift.

Thanks for reading and enjoy the early years!  Because before you know it, your Bunches will be bigger and you'll be running even faster to try to keep up with them. Take it from us - cuddle and hug them while they'll still sit on your lap.  Happy Baby Bunching!

quitting thumb-sucking: it's not just hard on kids

When my kids were newborns, I clung fervently to the almighty pacifier as a soother  - even learning to tuck the bottom half right into their "baby burrito" swaddling at night to encourage it to stay in place.  As they grew from sleepy newborns into active infants and the paci kept slipping out and waking them up, I prayed that they would find their thumb/fingers and learn to self-soothe and GO BACK TO SLEEP.  As a recovering thumb-sucker myself, I knew even in that moment that it would be far easier to ditch the paci than the thumb as they got older, but I didn't care one whit.  All I knew was that life had become one constant stream of babies  and I needed a good night's sleep and if it meant I had to saw my first grader's hand off at the wrist someday to cure him of thumb-sucking, so be it.

Fast forward to first (ok, second) grade.  I've got two thumb suckers with loveys and a finger sucker without a lovey, and it's abundantly clear that amputation is not an option.  Time to pay the piper for my past parenting misdeeds.

With my two thumb suckers, the sucking is tied to the lovey and we've made some half-hearted attempts to hide/dispose of lovey during the day but can't bring ourselves to law down the law at night. My own thumb snuck into my mouth at night long after I'd been fitted with braces to correct damage done earlier by said intruder.  So I have every sympathy when my oldest sobs that he "just can't take it" if he can't suck his thumb while he goes to sleep.  

Our finger sucker isn't tied to anything - except his fingers.  All. day. long.  The best we've been able to come up with for him is the pretty much constant admonition to "take your fingers out of your mouth" and "keep your hands busy so they don't creep into your mouth!"  To the point where I'm sure he wants to keep his hands busy by beating us with sticks so that we'll shut up and leave him alone. 

To make matters worse, our pediatric dentists seem fairly unconcerned about either the thumb or finger sucking, although they both said that if we felt like worrying about it, finger sucking is actually worse in terms of tooth displacement.  The fact that my dentists aren't concerned gives me false permission to carry on about my ways, believing that they will eventually "grow out of it". Which I know for a fact is total BS, based on my personal experiences that a well-sucked thumb is tough as leather and even a mouth full of metal is no match for a thumb determined to find it's way home.

Part of me knows I need to lay down the law, and the other part of me, quite honestly, doesn't want my babies to grow up.  I can remember when their threadbare loveys were pristine new baby gifts and I was able to snuggle both lovey and baby right up to my chest.  Now, the sheer stench of my oldest son's feet keeps me from wanting to snuggle him, even if he could still fit on my lap.  And The Caboose has officially reached the age where I try to pull him into my lap and he squirms to break free instead of snuggling in. With the exception of the Pull-Ups on The Caboose, the thumb/finger sucking is the last vestige of "baby" in this house.  

Since we've obviously missed the window on the whole "they'll lose interest as they get older and quit on their own" time-line for my two bigger boys, we're gonna go the orthodontic route.  Biggest boy will be heading in for a spacer, which, the dentist says, will make it so difficult to suck his thumb that he'll probably quit.  My guess is that in another year, Middle will be sent for one as well.  Meanwhile, I'm hoping I can salvage The (just turned three year old) Caboose and cure him using natural methods.  Does anyone out there have tips for quitting thumb-sucking that worked for you? Because I suck at this.

 

baby bunching bites: honey-basted porch chops, asiago quinoa, and kale chips

I'm actually not sure what's harder - feeding small kids who don't have teeth yet, or feeding big kids who use their mouths to complain about what you cook.  I LOVE to cook, and I'm a big believer in providing a variety of fresh, healthy options at the family dinner table each night so that I can A) expose my kids to a variety of fresh, home-cooked, healthy foods and B) gather the entire family together at least once a day, even if it is just for the 10.5 uber-chaotic seconds that a meal in my household lasts.  

As such, I am on an endless quest for recipes that everyone in my family likes.  I don't really believe in "dumbing down" cooking to suit tiny palates (with hot spice being the one exception) or cooking 15 meals a night to cater to everyone's liking.  I make what I make - for kids and adults- and they can eat it or not. Lest you think I'm a monster, I do make an effort every night to include at least one item I'm pretty sure everyone will eat, plus I always have backup fresh fruit/vegetable staples on hand for those who feel that dinner is absolutely inedible, so they can bulk up on other healthy options.

Tonight's yummo dinner was a success on all fronts!  Not only was it SUPER easy and quick to prepare, surveys showed that all respondents actually LIKED 2 of the 3 items on their plates!  We are officially rotating this one into our list of favorites.  Just thought I'd share it with you, as it was definitely both toddler and adult friendly!

 

Honey Basted Pork Chops (full disclosure: this recipe came from a meal planning service I'm testing out - Nourish Network)

1/2 cup honey

1 tsp fresh rosemary, chopped

1 T fresh ginger, thinly sliced (I cheated and used powdered and it worked out just fine)

1/4 cup soy sauce

4 boneless pork chops

Combine all ingredients in a giant ziploc bag and let marinate for 4 to 8 hours.  Toss it on the grill until browned on each side/cooked through.  Voila!

 

Asiago Quinoa

2 cups of chicken or vegetable broth

3/4 cup quinoa

small handful of asiago cheese 

goat cheese or feta for top

Combine the quinoa and broth and bring to a boil.  Lower heat, simmer covered for about 10 minutes or until liquid mostly cooks off.  Toss in a little asiago cheese.  Serve topped with either feta or goat cheese (would also be yummy with a few scallions on top of the asiago is enough cheese for you).

 

Kale Chips

Shred the kale leaves off the stem, into about 1 inch pieces.  Cover a cookie sheet with parchment paper.  Drizzle kale with olive oil and season with sea salt on the cookie sheet.  Pop in the over at 350 for about 10 minutes until crisp (watch carefully, because once they are done they brown quickly).  About half a bunch of kale took up a full cookie sheet and served my entire family or would make a tasty midnight snack for me. : )

 

baby bunches bunking up - how to handle sharing rooms

When my Bunch was very young, we had the luxury of separate bedrooms for each baby and this was a LIFESAVER in the early days.  But once their younger brother came along, they were forced to bunk together due to a shortage of bedrooms.  We've moved three times in the three years since The Caboose was born (long story) and each time, the bedroom configurations have necessitated room sharing, but the roommate configurations have actually shifted due to a variety of factors (ages, sleep schedules, child's propensity to goof off and rile his roommate, etc.).

We're now in what we hope will be our "forever" (or at least long-time) house and while we have the space for each boy to have his own room, we opted to reclaim our study/office and our Bunch is back to bunking together.  My guess is in a few months, The Caboose will realize he's being cheated out of bedtime shenanigans with brothers and the eldest will be sick of his little brothers in his stuff, and we'll play musical beds once again.  But 2 of the 3 will always be roommates.  

Now, room sharing with bigger kids is one thing, but room sharing with babies and toddlers and all of their various special sleep needs is a whole 'nother ball of wax.  I will admit that the only time we shared rooms in the early years was when we were forced to while traveling (and even then, we would literally stick a pack-and-play in the bathroom to ensure that each baby had their own separate 4 walls).  But lots of moms do it and make it work.  Here are a few tips we've picked up over the years for roommates of all ages.

• Always put your two best sleepers together OR the ones that are on the closest sleep schedules (dictated by nap or school schedules, usually), to minimize the accidental wake-up calls.
• If you've got babies/toddlers rooming together, get a white noise machine so one doesn't wake the other with crying.  Many little ones tend to sleep like logs - once they're down.  It's getting them down that's the tricky part...
• Speaking of that, stagger bedtimes and get the easiest or youngest child settled first (depending on the temperments of your kiddos).  Get one out like a light, crank up the white noise, and slide the other in.
• Daytime is a little harder because it tends to be light out, which encourages goofing off.  Darken as much as you can with darkening shades and stagger nap times like bedtime.  If all else fails, consider letting the oldest child nap somewhere else - either in mom and dad's bed or a pack-and-play or in a baby-proofed room with a baby gate across the door.  Too-few bedrooms mandates flexibility on everyone's part, including mom.
• If you've got more than two kids, be flexible on configurations.  Depending on ages and genders, while your first instinct may be to put all older kids in one room or all girls in one room, that may not actually be what makes the most sense.  And as kids get older and sleep habits/needs change, consider revisiting roommate arrangements - they're not set in stone forever.
• Finally, be patient.  Even if you have superstar sleepers, introducing a change in any routine is going to involve patience.  But keep in mind that kids have shared rooms since the beginning of time, and many of them are closer for it!  They'll survive and you will, too!

the connection between (lack of) sleep and "baby brain"

A recently released study confirms what we moms have long known - that the "baby brain" attributed to sleep deprivation is a very, very real thing.  Although the study was conducted with frequently-woken mice, sleep researchers say that it's not too big of a leap to extend the findings to humans, who experience a mental fog that undermines our ability to think clearly when we have not gotten enough sleep.

When my oldest was born, I remember being shocked at how little sleep I required to function. Those first few weeks of wakings every 1-3 hours were brutal, but I was lucky that each of my little ones fell into decent 4-hour stretches by about one month.  For the most part, I found that if was able to get 5 consecutive hours of sleep and a gallon of caffeine a day, I was good to go.  Sure, I'd get tired, but when the occasional bout of infant illness or teething tossed me back into 2-hour sleep cycles, I was once again grateful for the pathetic 5-hour stretch.

As it turned out, becoming a mom has changed my sleep cycle permanently.  Never a "night owl", I found that I was able to stay up later post-baby and now my most productive hours are between 8 pm (once the kids are down) and 1 am.  As a hyper Type-A personality, I've frequently felt that sleeping, along with eating, are two of life's biggest time wasters, so I was thrilled to discover that the (lack of) sleep training I received from having 3 babies in 5 years has translated to increased productivity. I can now function on 5 hours of sleep a night instead of 8, a time savings that translates into an extra 21 hours a week!  I can do this for exactly 3 consecutive weeks - and then I crash.  

Instead of cluing in to how BAD this is for my body, I'm content to function in 3-week cycles for the sake of squeezing more work, volunteering, blogging (sometimes), and chores into my days.  Never mind the fact that my memory for details is shot, half the time I call my kids by each other's names, and I can frequently be found driving down my street with a forgotten travel coffee mug on the roof of my van.  To each their own, I say.

How has becoming a mom changed your sleep needs, for better or for worse?

babiators giveaway

Hello!  Yes, we’re still alive!  Our paid jobs ramped up for both of us right about the time that school let out for the summer, and Cara had an unexpected move thrown in, so all of that has made for a pretty crazy past few months.  We’ve totally been neglecting Baby Bunching this summer and we’ll feel pretty bad about it, so to make it up to you we’re doing a giveaway!  In the meantime, bear with us and we should be back to speed in the fall once our Bunches are back in school.

Y’all know we’re suckers for accessories (for kiddos AND moms) and our latest discovery is Babiators.  We’re willing to bet that most of you are pretty diligent about sunscreen and hats in the summer heat wave, but how many of us think about how the UV rays are affecting our little one’s eyes?  Or maybe we’ve thought about it, but blown through so many broken pairs of cheap children’s sunglasses that we’ve given up.  Enter Babiators – safe, durable, awesome eyewear for little ones ages 9 months and up.  Babiators are made of pliable rubber and designed to withstand the wear and tear of playground horseplay and twibling squabbles.  Plus, they’re BPA, phthalates, and lead-free, so no need to freak out if they creep into the curious mouths of babes.  The good folks at Babiators are so confident these shades will hold up that they even offer a one-year Wear and Tear guarantee for all Babiators.   They come in two sizes (small and large) and four colors (Black Ops, Blue Angels, Rockstar Red, and Princess Pink).  At $19.99 a pair, they’re a little pricier than we would normally spend on shades for kids, but how many broken pairs of $5 sunglasses have you had to replace?

We’ve got a pair of Blue Angels to give away and they could be yours!  Since we could use some inspiration this summer, drop us an email at [email protected] with a burning question or post topic you’d like to see in the next few weeks, and we’ll enter you in a random drawing to win theBabiators.  If you send us an ACTUAL post on a Baby Bunching topic, we’ll enter your name in the drawing ten times as thanks AND put your post up as a guest poster.  Send in your question by Friday, August 5 to be entered in the drawing!

adding some structure to your summer fun

 
Summer has been in full swing at Cara's house for a few weeks now, and Linda's starts this week!  If your kids are in preschool or school, the start of summer marks a (usually welcome) change in the routine.  But even if they aren't, somehow summer implies permission to take things a little slower - put your feet up with a cool drink, blow off cooking dinner in favor of sandwiches and salads, hit the pool, or just watch the kiddos run through the sprinkler.  

Having said that, y'all know that Bunches of all ages do better when they have A) structure and routine and B) things to do!  A little bit of freedom is good, but a too much of a good thing will be your undoing, we promise!

To that end, at the Fox household we kicked summer off with a two-pronged approach to structure.  One is a daily/weekly schedule that lays out things like who's at camp, when we have swim team practice, playdates, etc.  Although we're flexible on scheduling, we try to stick to a routine that involves swim practice/swimming the am when it's cooler, lunch, quiet time while the baby naps, and then playdates/indoor arts and craft, library, children's museum, or a little tv/computer in the blazing hot afternoon hours.  Bedtime is a little later than normal, but generally speaking we are *trying* to stick to some sort of regular routine and keep structure in our day.

The other (much more fun) thing we did was come up with our Fox Family 2011 Summer Fun list.  These are all the things we want to do this summer!  On weekdays or weekends when we've got a gap in the schedule, we consult the list and pick something to do!  I wish I could take credit for this brilliant idea, but I totally stole it from a Baby Bunching friend and it works like a charm - AND works with kids/families of all ages.  So get out your calendar and list-making materials and schedule yourself some FUN over the next few months.  Happy summer!

Q/A: baby gear essentials: avoiding big gear in a small house

Today's Q/A comes from Beth on our Facebook page.

Q:  My husband and I are adopting three boys, a 3-year old and two 18-month old twins.  We are currently childless so this is a HUGE new adventure for us.  Any suggestions on what you've done that works well?  I would also appreciate knowing what doesn't work.  I would also be interested in knowing what type of baby gear works best in a small house with lots of kids.

A:  First of all, WOW and congrats!  Nothing we can tell you is going to prepare you for how much your world will be rocked - and how much you will absolutely love it!  The blog and the Facebook pages are chock-full of do's and don'ts from seasoned Bunchers, so it's worth taking the time to scroll back through the years and load up on information.

To skip ahead to part 3 of your question, you're actually in luck.  Seven years and multiple children into parenting in *very* small houses (Cara holds the record currently, with three children and 1,400 square feet), we can both say that we know quite a bit about parenting in limited space.  The good news is that with your youngest boys being 18-months old, you can bypass some of the stuff we are tempted to get with newborns and infants (swings, Jumperoos, high chairs, etc.).  

In lieu of highchairs, get booster seats strapped onto regular old dining room chairs.  There are any number of hard plastic boosters with trays and straps that are portable and travel to restaurants, Grandma's, etc. easily (your wee ones are probably old enough to even do away with the the tray and pull right up to the table).  For bigger kids, we love soft boosters.   This will allow your oldest to climb up and down independently without you having to strap in/out while your hands are full with the little ones.  

For a bunch of kids this size, a "nice to have" if you have a little corner is a children's table and chairs - both for eating as well as for arts and crafts.  My all-time FAVORITE is Ikea's Mammut line.  Hideously colorful? Yes.  But oh, so convenient.  Lightweight and easy to move/pack/store away when grown ups come for dinner.  Waterproof so you can hose it down in the backyard.  Compact so you can throw it in the back of your van and take it to a friend's house when extra seating for children is needed.   These must be the reasons that everyone we know has this set.

As a fellow mom of all boys, I can tell you that our train table gets major mileage.  But for other families it might be a workbench or a play kitchen.  Depending on your space/configuration, consider limiting them to one "big" toy (or if they MUST have several, buy them secondhand so you don't care if they get weatherized and toss them in the backyard so the kids can play there).

The most important piece of big equipment you need, HANDS DOWN, is a stroller.  With this many small boys running in different directions, you need a way to keep them tethered down on occasion, for their own safety.  We're thinking your best bet is the Joovy Big Caboose (a Sit-and-Stand with double seats and a standing board).  We *think* that this may be superior to the Double Graco Sit-N-Stand, which we're not sure can accommodate two kids sitting AND one standing.  Readers, please chime in if you know.  Biggest cons to these strollers are they're bulky (need a good-sized trunk) and can be heavy/unwieldy at times, but it is SO WORTH IT to know that you can have everyone strapped down at once, should the occasion/need arise.  

And, of course, the cribs.  You are right on the borderline of being able to bypass cribs if you don't have them already.  A fully baby-proofed room with regular beds and a gate across the door that keeps them from wandering the house could possibly do the trick.  However, if they are used to sleeping in cribs, you may want to keep them in cribs since they are already making a big transition to a new home - I would feel that out with the current caregiver.  Skip the changing table altogether (18 months is right around the age where you have to start wrestling them to the ground to change diapers, anyway).

What have we missed, readers?  

just the right jogging stroller a must for baby bunchers on the run

In seven years of parenting, I am loathe to admit that although I've used the heck out of my assorted jogging strollers, I've only actually used them to jog once or twice.  This is due to a host of excuses reasons (I'm tall so the stroller interferes with my stride, I cheaped out and went with BabyTrend joggers which are great for walking but not so great for running, the stroller always veers slightly to the left  - probably because I cheaped out, and most importantly - I could barely ever propel my running self forward more less two additional smaller selves).  

Having hit my "life" stride in recent months, I've also gotten back into my workout groove and have a nice running routine in place.  Not coincidentally, the biggest two of my Bunch are onto scooter phase (less babies=more personal time, are you serious - who knew?!?!).  Now that I'm downsized back into the single jogger AND in better shape, I decided to strap the Caboose into the jogger this morning and venture out to my favorite running spot. He proceeded to cling to the sides of the stroller in fear howling, "It's rolling too fast!  It's rolling too fast!"  It was amateur hour on the running trail this morning, let me tell you.

This morning's exercise left me wondering - if I'd known then what I know now when I bought my very first BabyTrend jogger (because it was the most affordable one available), would I have invested a little more in a higher quality stroller to assist with ease of workouts?  I see lots and lots of moms on the trail with double joggers (mostly of the BOB variety, although I know Linda adored her Mountain Buggy), so I know that there are some of you out there that can both stick to a workout routine with two babies AND integrate them into said routine.  My hat is off to you in a MAJOR way.  

Y'all know one of our favorite topics here at Baby Bunching is strollers, so do tell - what's your favorite jogging/workout stroller and why?  And is it worth the splurge to get a stroller that works WITH you instead of against you in your workout?

knowing when to say when (how many babies are enough?)

Family size and spacing can be delicate topics here at Baby Bunching.  Some of us have ended up with larger families than we planned, sooner than we planned.  Others have embraced the blessing of expanding to include twiblings (and beyond), but experienced strong judgements on family planning from family and friends.  In any case, if you've been a parent, at some point you've likely grappled with the question, "How many children is enough?"  

I personally always pictured myself with four of them.  In earlier years, my husband shared that vision, but the addition of our third boy in less than 5 years brought family expansion discussions to a grinding halt.  Too much of a good thing, too soon?  Maybe, although we both agree that our current family dynamics (for all of their challenges) suit us very well and we're quite happy with our brood.  So happy, in fact, that my husband would willingly head in for the snip-snip any day to ensure that things stay this way.

I, on the other hand, have struggled.  I pretty much lost the privilege of EVER sitting down with the delivery of my third child and that took some getting used to (have you noticed that two children can be settled together for short periods of time, but three children are almost never settled at once?).  For the first two years of #3's life, my answer to the prospect of a fourth child would've been an affirmative negative.  In recent weeks, I've been having a lot of internal (and external) dialogue about how great it is that my baby is starting to grow and run fast enough to keep up with the big boys.  And in recent days, I've found myself solidly wanting...just one more baby.

Admittedly, I hit my Advanced Maternal Age birthday a few weeks ago, which has ratcheted up the volume on my ticking biological clock.  And part of the reason I chose to have my children so close together is that the thought of getting the youngest off to kindergarten and starting all over in baby mode does not appeal to me.  With the youngest approaching the 3-year mark this summer, the voice in my head is screaming, "NOW OR NEVER!"  Talk about pressure.

Add that to the fact that I can pretty much guarantee that there are exactly 2.5 people in this world that would actually wholeheartedly celebrate and embrace the news of another baby for me (and none of them are my husband), and I am in a real quandary.

I love my job and it's going great.  I'm steadily adding more hours as my kids get older, so the extra money is also nice.  As the kids get older, it's easier to carve out time to exercise more, spend a little more time with my husband, and (on occasion) farm children out to friends and relatives who are able to manage a few kids (but not a few babies) so that I can spend time with husband, spend quality one-on-one time with kids, work out, organize the house, etc.  

On the flip side, my career will always be there, but I only have a short window in which to birth and raise children.  The first 7 years of that window have flown by in a way that frightens me - so I know some part of me would be grateful for the excuse to make the window a little wider by adding another child.  When the kids are gone, hubs and I will have so much time together we will be sick of looking at each other.  Exercising can be overrated (I always eat more when I work out so it's an exercise in futility, anyway), travel will be there when I retire, and I can hire someone else to clean my house if it means that much to me.  

Of course, a 4th baby would mean I'd probably have to temporarily throw in the towel on work, which would mean less money, which would mean more stress (and no cleaning lady)....you can see the vicious cycle of this thought process.

So what are your thoughts on how to know when enough is enough?  Does anyone out there have a 10-point checklist I can use?  Because my husband totally responds better to analytical data in decision making.