baby bunches bunking up - how to handle sharing rooms

When my Bunch was very young, we had the luxury of separate bedrooms for each baby and this was a LIFESAVER in the early days.  But once their younger brother came along, they were forced to bunk together due to a shortage of bedrooms.  We've moved three times in the three years since The Caboose was born (long story) and each time, the bedroom configurations have necessitated room sharing, but the roommate configurations have actually shifted due to a variety of factors (ages, sleep schedules, child's propensity to goof off and rile his roommate, etc.).

We're now in what we hope will be our "forever" (or at least long-time) house and while we have the space for each boy to have his own room, we opted to reclaim our study/office and our Bunch is back to bunking together.  My guess is in a few months, The Caboose will realize he's being cheated out of bedtime shenanigans with brothers and the eldest will be sick of his little brothers in his stuff, and we'll play musical beds once again.  But 2 of the 3 will always be roommates.  

Now, room sharing with bigger kids is one thing, but room sharing with babies and toddlers and all of their various special sleep needs is a whole 'nother ball of wax.  I will admit that the only time we shared rooms in the early years was when we were forced to while traveling (and even then, we would literally stick a pack-and-play in the bathroom to ensure that each baby had their own separate 4 walls).  But lots of moms do it and make it work.  Here are a few tips we've picked up over the years for roommates of all ages.

• Always put your two best sleepers together OR the ones that are on the closest sleep schedules (dictated by nap or school schedules, usually), to minimize the accidental wake-up calls.
• If you've got babies/toddlers rooming together, get a white noise machine so one doesn't wake the other with crying.  Many little ones tend to sleep like logs - once they're down.  It's getting them down that's the tricky part...
• Speaking of that, stagger bedtimes and get the easiest or youngest child settled first (depending on the temperments of your kiddos).  Get one out like a light, crank up the white noise, and slide the other in.
• Daytime is a little harder because it tends to be light out, which encourages goofing off.  Darken as much as you can with darkening shades and stagger nap times like bedtime.  If all else fails, consider letting the oldest child nap somewhere else - either in mom and dad's bed or a pack-and-play or in a baby-proofed room with a baby gate across the door.  Too-few bedrooms mandates flexibility on everyone's part, including mom.
• If you've got more than two kids, be flexible on configurations.  Depending on ages and genders, while your first instinct may be to put all older kids in one room or all girls in one room, that may not actually be what makes the most sense.  And as kids get older and sleep habits/needs change, consider revisiting roommate arrangements - they're not set in stone forever.
• Finally, be patient.  Even if you have superstar sleepers, introducing a change in any routine is going to involve patience.  But keep in mind that kids have shared rooms since the beginning of time, and many of them are closer for it!  They'll survive and you will, too!

Comments

[Heather]

I would add, that in case you're expecting #3 after your bunch, and you know your "bigs" will be sharing a room... move them in together BEFORE the youngest is out of the crib. That way, one is still contained which can dramatically reduce bed-time shenanigans. Don't try to transition to "big kid bed" AND a shared room at the same time.

We are expecting #3 in two weeks, and my bunch (almost 3, almost 4) have been sharing a room for at least 6 months. It's been a hair-pulling, frustrating endeavor, but I think we've FINALLY hit our groove. They are able to go down at the same time at night now, but the biggest naps on our bed instead of sharing rooms at naptime.

There have been MANY times I spent naptime, frustrating, perusing the internet for a larger home nearby just to avoid the battles!

[Amy Talbott]

We have three kids oldest is 3, and we have one on the way due in December. We live in a three bedroom house, that is really plenty big enough for our growing bunch. When my second daughter was born we put her into the room with her sister. They are 13 months apart. It was a little challenging at first, but not really. Did little sis wake up big sis? Yes, but we have a family, and sometimes people wake up other people, I looked at it as a learning experience to teach Big sis how to go back to sleep and even how to help little sis go back to sleep. I heard on a radio broadcast once from a mother of 7 I think, she said we live with people, and our kids need to learn to function with other people. (Rough paraphrase) When I got married, I had been living alone for a LONG time, and in the 4.5 years since our marriage, our ever expanding family has forced me to accomodate the needs of those around me. Do I always give into the wants of my kids, NO, but I must learn to evaluate my desires and see are they selfish or valid. Or maybe a little bit of both. I am striving to teach my kids the same lesson only sooner than I have learned it. We live in a world where we need to learn to be with people. I think teaching kids to learn to adapt their sleeping, even at a young age, 13 months and younger, is perfectly acceptable. Is it challenging yes at times, but we are parents it is our job to teach our kids, and to grow ourselves in the process.

[Kelly]

My biggest piece of advice on room sharing is to be patient. They really WILL adapt to the situation; it just takes some time to figure out what will work best for your bunch. Our daughters are 21 months apart, and they have been sharing a room since they were 7 months and 28 months. It took several weeks for everyone to adapt, but they did learn to sleep through each other's noises. It has worked out great for our family; the girls now genuinely enjoy sharing a room together, and they easily adapt to various sleeping arrangements when we are traveling, which is a huge plus. A tip if you are trying to have your infant share a room with your toddler: put the baby in a pack-n-play in another room until he/she is consistently sleeping the same basic night-time hours as the toddler. If you try to put the baby in the same room while he/she is waking up multiple times for feedings, that can be really tricky. But once the baby is on the same sleep schedule, it is fairly easy to make the transition.

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