A few weeks ago, I attended a mom's night with a group of ladies. I knew only a few of the ladies, but they were all linked by one common person. We did the traditional introductions of how do you know the hostess, where do your kids go to school and how many kids do you have.
This one lady surprised me with the most genuine response I have heard in a long time. She said she had two kids--some Baby Bunched ages--and she followed up with "and that's the right number of kids for me." I loved it! It was perfect. It didn't beg the question "Are you having more?" which seems to be the trend these days with parents. If you have any less than three kids, people really want to know if you're having more children. Why is that?
For people like myself who struggled with conceiving the first time, simply surviving my very active Bunch and having been on the fence for many years about more offspring, this seemed like the perfect statement for inquisitive people who were obviously wanting to ask. Although I don't know why it should matter. It's not anyone's business on whether I'm having more children or not, right? But people seem to feel the need to push. Perhaps it's for their own validation or pehaps it's just our tendency to need to know everything about everyone.
I have two children who are 7 and 6. I love them very much. They are amazing kids. We have tried a few times to have #3 and it didn't happen. So two is the right perfect number for me.
It seems to be gender driven, too..with two girls bunched, people ALWAYS ask if we will try for a boy. Ummm...sorry, I'm pretty happy with my two girls...yes, there is a third on the way, and we will be please with a healthy girl or boy!
Posted by: Krystyn | Sep 21, 2011 at 10:15 PM
I love this! I had 2 boys, bunched (2 and 3 1/2) and we are considering trying for a 3rd but on the fence about it (our boys require a lot of energy!) but also just found out this summer that it will probably be very hard, if not impossible, to conceive again. I had been getting a lot of those "are you going to have more" or "trying for a girl" questions lately and couldn't come up with a good answer until reading this post!
Posted by: Janna | Sep 22, 2011 at 06:52 AM
I have the opposite, with a boy and a girl bunched together (3 1/2 and 2)people always said..."now you can stop because you have a boy and a girl!" and I kept thinking well it is our decision whether we will have more than two, we have always wanted more kids than 2. I am pregnant with number 3 right now and when people ask if we are done I say, "We will take one kid at a time and see after that!"
Posted by: Chelsie | Sep 22, 2011 at 08:13 AM
I have four; 9,6,20 months, and 5 months. People assume m going to have more (N-O). they also assume that because the first three are boys that we kept trying for a girl. Nope we were happy with three boys and baby girl was a complete (shocking) surprise. To say so makes the conversation uncomfortable though so I just smile and nod and grind my teeth.
Posted by: Ashleu | Sep 22, 2011 at 08:42 AM
When friends and family ask if we are having more I don't mind as much. The random neighbors, people at the park, friends of friends (basically people I've only talked to a handful of times)really bother me.
I have two girls, ages 3 and 2. This summer we added a boy to our family and everyone kept saying "Oh, I bet you are so glad you finally had a boy." We are very happy with are girls and were not trying for a boy. I kept joking with my hubby that if baby number three came out a girl he would have my head chopped off.
Posted by: Alisha | Sep 22, 2011 at 10:04 AM
We are expecting our fourth: Our daughter is nearly 4, our first son 2.5 and our second son 7 months. We always hear two things: "How do you do it?" and " Oh! Wouldn't it be nice to have 2 of each?!" No one ever asks me if we're having more!! ;)
Posted by: Courtney | Sep 22, 2011 at 10:26 AM
Courtney, I'm with you - I have a 3 yr old daughter, 2 yr old son, and 1 yr old son and am 6 and 1/2 months pregnant with #4. People always ask me if it is a girl. When I say it is a boy, they say "Oh...well another boy...that's nice...now you'll always have just one princess". To which I respond, "yes we will, unless #5 is a girl". :)
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