Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

adding some structure to your summer fun

 
Summer has been in full swing at Cara's house for a few weeks now, and Linda's starts this week!  If your kids are in preschool or school, the start of summer marks a (usually welcome) change in the routine.  But even if they aren't, somehow summer implies permission to take things a little slower - put your feet up with a cool drink, blow off cooking dinner in favor of sandwiches and salads, hit the pool, or just watch the kiddos run through the sprinkler.  

Having said that, y'all know that Bunches of all ages do better when they have A) structure and routine and B) things to do!  A little bit of freedom is good, but a too much of a good thing will be your undoing, we promise!

To that end, at the Fox household we kicked summer off with a two-pronged approach to structure.  One is a daily/weekly schedule that lays out things like who's at camp, when we have swim team practice, playdates, etc.  Although we're flexible on scheduling, we try to stick to a routine that involves swim practice/swimming the am when it's cooler, lunch, quiet time while the baby naps, and then playdates/indoor arts and craft, library, children's museum, or a little tv/computer in the blazing hot afternoon hours.  Bedtime is a little later than normal, but generally speaking we are *trying* to stick to some sort of regular routine and keep structure in our day.

The other (much more fun) thing we did was come up with our Fox Family 2011 Summer Fun list.  These are all the things we want to do this summer!  On weekdays or weekends when we've got a gap in the schedule, we consult the list and pick something to do!  I wish I could take credit for this brilliant idea, but I totally stole it from a Baby Bunching friend and it works like a charm - AND works with kids/families of all ages.  So get out your calendar and list-making materials and schedule yourself some FUN over the next few months.  Happy summer!

an asset, an investment or a gift?

By Rachel Ostlie

I once read an article that talked about the radical changes in parenting and child-rearing expectations over the past century, and the author used the financial terms of asset and investment to make her point. She said that since the beginning of history children have been viewed as assets, resources of immediate value and benefit. However, in this current society, the thinking has shifted to where children are now investments, something that we sink time and money into in hopes that it might be profitable in the future. In the past the mentality was “you’re living under my roof and eating my food so you will work on my farm and then take care of me when I’m old.” Now we invest into the best schools and tutors, extracurricular activities and sports teams, piano lessons and college funds, to develop a well-rounded individual who may one day repay us by being an adjusted, successful, and happy adult.

Perhaps this is where much of the stress of Baby Bunching comes from. If your children are assets, as your grandmother or great-grandmother believed, then the more you have the richer you are.  But if your children are investments, then others (and even you yourself) begin to question how you will keep up with two under two or three under three. How can you possibly afford the time and money required to build up all these investments? How will you juggle three munchkins' soccer games in one day? How will you save up for rapidly escalating college costs?

Maybe both paradigms are slightly off, and maybe we’d all be happier Baby Bunchers if we viewed our children under a different financial term altogether: a gift. Something that we don’t deserve, something to enjoy. This idea was highlighted to me recently through two stories, one of my own, and one of a friend of a friend. The second is that of Eliot Mooney, a baby born with a genetic disorder who lived only 99 days. His story, seen on Oprah and other media outlets, gets its touching beauty from the attitudes of his parents, who viewed each day with him as a precious gift. My own story is that of my grandmother, who passed away last weekend. As I was looking through old, faded pictures of her and her children, I chuckled, thinking of how she would get the “you sure have your hands full” comment over and over if she had been a mother today. She was a Baby Buncher, then had twins, bumping it up to four under three. Three more children followed after, in fairly rapid succession. What was the key to her happy smiles, her joy with her brood? I know it was because she viewed each child not as an asset or an investment, but as a gift. There’s always room for one more, if we’re talking about gifts. And you don’t have to worry about devoting sufficient money and time into a gift, you just enjoy each day in perspective of the past and future.

Are concerns over your bunch’s future weighing heavy on you today? Do you wonder how they will ever measure up? Take the time to enjoy your little gifts, and know that the investment of making them feel significant, secure, and loved, is the best one you can make.

Rachel is a Baby Bunching mom of two little gifts, with one on the way. Pictured is her grandmother (center) with five of her seven children.

how i became a baby buncher

By Erin Brazofsky

When Matt and I decided we were ready to have children, I honestly didn’t give much thought to the “How many? How soon?” questions. I always figured I would have three children (I am one of three girls—my mom was a Baby Buncher back in the day), but I never really thought about how closely I would have them.

Then, Levi came along and my world was rocked. I didn’t fully comprehend, until that chubby little newborn staring at me with big eyes was born, just HOW MUCH I would love him. My new role presented 'oh so many challenges,' but it was also the most rewarding and gratifying job I have ever had. And I knew without a shadow of a doubt that there would be more babies.

When Levi was around six months old, part of me felt “ready” to have another baby and part of me was saying, “NO WAY.” So, when I found out I was pregnant when Levi was 8 months old, I wasn’t shocked, but was overjoyed with a teeny bit of, “Oh, boy, here we go.” thrown in. And when Seth was born, I felt as if it were the most natural thing in the world that he was here. Looking back, life seemed incomplete without his little face in it.

And the last 8 months that Seth has been with us have been challenging to a degree (What is it that everyone tells you about going from one to two kids? That it’s easy? Hee.), I have loved, loved, loved every minute of watching my two small sons interact with each other and I can’t wait till they are older and can be best of friends (Don’t burst my dream bubble, okay?).

Having enjoyed having our “2 under 2” so far, Matt and I were thinking about trying for a third this summer. Well, it seems number 3 decided to surprise us a bit early and we are happily expecting he/she in January! This is opening a WHOLE new page in the Baby Bunching world for us and in the coming months, I will so need a lot of help and advice. For instance, minivans. Just the thought gives me a migraine. And, how do you wrangle three small people when there are only two adults? What’s the best way to transition my 2 year-old to a big boy bed AND get my 8-month old to share a room with him so the baby has somewhere to sleep? You can be sure I will be passing along tips and rants as they happen.

But, for now, I am beaming over the new life we get to meet and the brood we will be. Three under two. Baby Buncher. Wow. And this is how I got here.

How about you? How did you arrive at the title of Baby Buncher?

**Erin will be accepting all donations of a free minivan and extra car seats.**

a monster birthday party

It's birthday season, and we're always asked how to plan a birthday party for your Bunch. If you kids share a birthday month, it means they are either 1 or 2 years apart, right? And it would seem when the kids are little, you could knock both parties out in one fell swoop.

I smiled this morning when I ran across the fantastic party idea on my favorite party site Hip Hip Hooray. But when I popped over to Nounces Design where the idea originated from, I giggled because the concept is genius for Baby Bunchers and even better, Jennifer's planned the whole party for you complete with all her own Printable Monster Party Collection, which barely require you to leave the house to find all the invitations and thanks yous. Even better!

Think of all the possibilities with this them.

(Photo courtesy of Nounces Design.)

baby bunching Q/A: a bunch and twins on the way

Q: I recently found out I will be having twin boys before my oldest son's 3rd birthday. My youngest son will be 19 months when the twins are born.  I was wondering if you had any advice?  I was ready for my current Bunch. I love having the kids so close in age since my first two are great friends already, but this feels like a super bunch at this point and I would love to hear any advice you have to offer.

A: You are one of our blessed "advanced Baby Bunchers" who will be mom to 4 under 3. Congrats to your growing family of men! We wish we could bestow some super powers onto you for this fabulous adventure, but know that we are sending you prayers and emotional strength your way. We have many friends and readers with three under three who all admit that things were crazy during the early days, as I'm sure they already are.

Not being experts in the land of multiples, we'll offer up a few suggestions and then strongly lean on our fabulous readers for some of their tips. The good news is you've already done this Baby Bunching one time, so while it's not exactly the same, realize that practice makes....well, better. You have a few more months to get ready for the twins so here are some thoughts:

-- Get organized now. You remember what it was like to have baby and toddler so get people on schedules and start shopping around for gear to keep everyone contained.

--Your three-year will become your invaluable helper. He may not want to, but hey, that's the joy of siblings. Your older boys will probably become great friends as a result and you might possibly groom your middle child into a great helper early on.

--Enlist help now. Pay it forward now with friends and neighbors if you can and cash in on assistance after the twins are born to help you out.

--Remember to let it go and be flexible. You will cry and have hard days. Babies are not all the same. What worked for one may not work for the other. Survival is key and do whatever it takes to make it through the day.

If you're a mom to 4 under 3, multiples or 3 under 3, please help out our newest advanced Baby Buncher with a few suggestions and tips.