Q: I recently found out I will be having twin boys before my oldest son's 3rd birthday. My youngest son will be 19 months when the twins are born. I was wondering if you had any advice? I was ready for my current Bunch. I love having the kids so close in age since my first two are great friends already, but this feels like a super bunch at this point and I would love to hear any advice you have to offer.
A: You are one of our blessed "advanced Baby Bunchers" who will be mom to 4 under 3. Congrats to your growing family of men! We wish we could bestow some super powers onto you for this fabulous adventure, but know that we are sending you prayers and emotional strength your way. We have many friends and readers with three under three who all admit that things were crazy during the early days, as I'm sure they already are.
Not being experts in the land of multiples, we'll offer up a few suggestions and then strongly lean on our fabulous readers for some of their tips. The good news is you've already done this Baby Bunching one time, so while it's not exactly the same, realize that practice makes....well, better. You have a few more months to get ready for the twins so here are some thoughts:
-- Get organized now. You remember what it was like to have baby and toddler so get people on schedules and start shopping around for gear to keep everyone contained.
--Your three-year will become your invaluable helper. He may not want to, but hey, that's the joy of siblings. Your older boys will probably become great friends as a result and you might possibly groom your middle child into a great helper early on.
--Enlist help now. Pay it forward now with friends and neighbors if you can and cash in on assistance after the twins are born to help you out.
--Remember to let it go and be flexible. You will cry and have hard days. Babies are not all the same. What worked for one may not work for the other. Survival is key and do whatever it takes to make it through the day.
If you're a mom to 4 under 3, multiples or 3 under 3, please help out our newest advanced Baby Buncher with a few suggestions and tips.
I'm not too far off from where you are, and my last four years have been hard enough that my first suggestion is to get a few phone numbers to call when it is time to cry... I think the main thing the Mothers of Twins Clubs give women is emotional support! (The second contribution of the club is cheap gear.) Much like parenting, bunching or any given career, you are heading into an experience nobody who hasn't done it can actually understand. We started with twin boys, just before my vet school graduation, and we've bunched two more kids since then. For the twin-experience, nothing helped me more than Dr. Barbara Luke's book on multiples. It covers EVERYTHING and includes recipes, most of which we never used, but which are sound nutritional advice, and inspired my husband to make the right types of foods. We aren't exactly rich, but I've still bought a copy for every woman I've met who is pregnant with twins. I would not want to go through the experience without the solid advice and counseling Dr. Luke offers. (Remember, I'm a vet, I know a lot about pregnancy and medicine... there was still a ton of information I needed to have healthy twins.) We also learned about some newer research that helps you make it through those last few weeks of being huge... getting your twins to 37 weeks gestation is the mile-marker for not having educational delays later on in school... when you are pregnant with twins, everyone talks like making it to 35 (and staying out of the NICU) is the entire goal. Dr. Luke does a lovely job of helping a fast-growing woman pat herself on the back for every week or milestone. After you get those twins as close to 37 as you can... the best advice I can give is to visit this blog all the time. The support has been a huge relief for me, and the other relief only comes with time... I've got to say, having the twins move from 3 to 4 years old and able to stand on their own has been like coming home from a war and discovering that nobody shot me. You will soon be the queen of healthy priorities!
Posted by: jean grow | Jun 02, 2011 at 06:17 PM
I had to take a double take when I read this to make sure it wasn't from me. I have twins due in Oct., my oldest will be 3 in Sept. and my youngest will be 22months in Oct. Your post gave me a strange relief to know that I am not the only one in the world going through this. Because with the comments I've been getting and looks of pity I feel very alone. Good luck and God Bless to you and your family.
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