what is baby bunching?

  • Baby Bunching™ is two years of pregnancy and back-to-back infants and toddlers with nary a break for you. Baby Bunching means chaos for you, and your little twiblings. No worries, they become good friends as a result of your bunching strategy. You will become strong, creative, organized, calm and at peace with your new lifestyle without even realizing it.

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« traveling with your bunch: the epic journey | Main | baby bunching Q/A: getting out of the house with baby + toddler »

Apr 05, 2011


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Oh, Cara, as your best friend I say tread lightly on this topic. :-) [Remember folks, before you start offering her advice that I'm only the .5 in this story!]

I think family size is such a personal decision. We always thought we'd have 3, but have stayed with 2. I would love more children. I think kids are amazing blessings, but I realized that my resources (this includes in-town family) are limited and my ability to zen gets less with each child. I think some people are great with kids and having 6 or 7 just makes their hearts grow bigger and they are able to make the change. Me, however, I am pretty sure that while a 3rd child might be manageable any more would push me over my ability to function. Would I manage? I would, but not well and things in my life--my husband namely--would suffer the most. Next would be my own well-being.

Here is my 7-point checklist:
--Ability to put aside work and not volunteer to spend time hanging with the family more than 2 days a week--Nope.
--In-town family that can help out when needed for trips, breaks, etc.--Kind of, but not super reliable.
--House to accomodate more kids--Nope.
--Ability to upgrade to a bigger house--Nope.
--Wishing there was one more kid--Sometimes.
--Knowledge that going this route again would be easier--Yes.
--Desire to go back to where things used to be--naps, diapers, strollers and start over again--Uhhhh.....not really.


I believe you will never regret adding another person to your family. Once it's done, he or she will be so obviously meant to be in your little circle of love. You will wonder how any of you could have been happy without this fourth child. However, it's essential to be in agreement with your husband about this. None of your other concerns will matter one hoot.


My husband and I were discussing having a 3rd child and I ended up pregnant while the discussion was not settled, and though the pregnancy was my hardest, I now have a 6month old girl that I love to pieces! But while I was pregnant, I even second guessed it, not that I could do anything about it at that point but my almost 3 year old and my almost 18 month old were just getting to a point that was manageable.. My 3rd child was born on my oldests 3rd birthday, and my 2nd child is right inbetween them.

At 6 months post pardum, I am just getting back into the swing of things and attempting a routine. I think it is doable, but it will take an adjustment time. With your others being older, they will also not be in your way all day as they are in school and they may also be more helpful.

Good luck to you!!


Check out Tina Fey's recent article in the New Yorker (search for the full article on Google) called "Confessions of a Juggler." She writes about this exact topic.


I don't think there's a ever going to be a really good checklist to see whether or not you should have another child. In fact, I think really the whole decision to have a kid is kind of illogical if you'd look at it in terms of pros and cons.I mean, kids cost lots of money, they take up lots of time, you lose sleep, you probably have to get used to having a messier house than you're used to.
But, the benefits to having a baby isn't really anything you can measure. I just think it's something you have to feel.
I have 3 kids, 4yrs, 2yrs and 9mo(18mo and 23mo apart) and I feel the urge already. My personal limit is 4(I think)
Anyway, whatever you and your hubby decide is good and I really feel like things tend to work themselves out.

Baby Bunching

Amanda, Thanks! Here is a link that whole article. http://myinnermonoblog.tumblr.com/post/3169496092/confessions-of-a-juggler-by-tina-fey


The timing of this is perfect for me, thank you. And Linda's checklist? I agree totally with it, and yet? I'm still waffling.

This morning I took a pregnancy test. This afternoon I started. Two very very certain signs that there is no third on it's way now. So I'm left with two weeks to worry about trying or not trying and then another two weeks to worry about positive or negative.

That's no way to go about it. I'm a basket case over the whole decision. But biological clocks are a powerful thing. I just keep thinking - I would love another baby - I would love to give birth one more time - and if I don't do it now, I'm going to be too old.

I like our family dynamic now though, and while I want another baby, I'm not 100% sure that I want another child. If that makes any sense.

Obviously I have no answers for you. Just hijacking your comments to say "Me too."


Hubs and I knew we'd have 4 children when we started dating...and somehow, with all the chaos and craziness, we still wanted that 3 kids later. Now we are pregnant with #4 and some days I think (I know) that 5 would honestly be doable. 6 is out-of-the-question-crazy but 5 seems like a real possibility. How is that?

Hubs is not so convinced. He thinks 4 is our magic number...Baby #4 isn't here yet and I am already excited to meet him but not, definitely not, ready to get rid of the baby gear....

I do feel that I would rather live with a perpetual messy house, somewhat disheveled children and a never-ending to-do list than any regret...Now, only to convince husband of that...


For me there was really only one factor... Precious precious sleep! My 2 kids took for-EVER to learn to sleep through the night and I also do not sleep well while pregnant. Between being pregnant with #1, and then being 5 mo. pregnant when he slept through the night, and only now my little one is almost 2 and just started pretty much sleeping through the night.

Therefore I haven't had a decent night's sleep since about the beginning of 2007. (I wish I was kidding) :-) No matter how much I really want another one there is just no way I could do this again!! (and stay sane)

Large families are so beautiful though! I don't think you would ever regret having another child but at the same time, you would be happy the rest of your life with the wonderful kids you already have.


I would love to have #4 but hubs said no. And he said it more than once because you can be certain that I brought it up more than 100 times to see if he changed his mind! I knew that I could persuade him to my way of thinking but decided that talking him into a child wasn't a good fit for our family. It was such a difficult decision and I actually went through a grieving process. Already I miss the newborn days (never thought I'd say that!) and know that I will never get to see another first smile, step or hear that first word again. But I am content with our family of 5. And I now look forward to the future of not having diapers to change or naps to worry about. We aren't there yet but one day soon. I believe that sometimes you know when your family is complete and sometimes you decide. I had to decide and it sounds like you may, unfortunately, have to do the same. I sincerely hope your decision is easier than mine!


How timely! I'm in the exact same spot. I always pictured 4, and decided to stop at 3. My youngest is almost two, and I love the dynamic of our family. In fact, I was so sure, we got rid of all our baby gear a few months ago. Then suddenly I was late. Turns out I'm not pregnant, but those few moments when I thought I might be reignited that desire for 4. I'm not going for a 4th (right now anyway), but primarily for financial reasons. Best of luck w/your decision!


I have 3 little ones, 15 months apart and 14 months apart (my oldest just turned 3 in March). We are trying to conceive #4, so I would say go for it :) The way I look at it for us is, I still feel like someone is missing from our family...when we sit down to eat, I feel like someone is missing from the dinner table. We always said we wanted 4, and now I know we definately do (in fact, I actually want 5, but that would take some major convincing from my husband since we live in NJ!). I do agree with the not wanting to wait part, as you mentioned your youngest will be 3...everyone says having kids close together is hard, but I think having a larger spacing is hard. It's easy to stay in baby routine if you never get out!! Good luck in your decision :)

Cara Fox

Thanks for all the supportive comments, girls - and good to know I'm not alone in this decision! Marty, your sentiments summed it up exactly for me - I love our family dynamic, I want another baby, but I'm not sure I want another child.

Seeing it in writing like that makes me think that maybe I am more "done" than "not done".

BLAH! Sometimes I wish I was a boy. They never struggle with this crap, LOL.


How timely, I am going through the same thing as well. Little is 15 months and Big turned 3 last week. By the time Big was this age I was visibly pregnant and well on our way to being a family of 4. I wish we were on our way to being a family of 5 now, but the Hubs doesn't agree.

When we married he said two kids and I said 4. I figured we'd have 2 and I'd win him over. I still want 4 and he's still stuck on 2.

I love our family as it is, but I feel like there are people missing. My boys are amazing wonderful little people and I love how they are playing together now and the fun we are going to be able to have soon as they get older, but I'm not ready to be done having babies.

My clock is ticking and it seems to be going faster since I just celebrated birthday 32, if I want 2 more by 35 I better hurry it up, right?

As someone else said, "convincing" my husband to have another baby I don't feel is right for our family, so in that sense I feel we're done, but I do hope he'll change his mind on his own (and soon!)

Cara Fox

Check it out, ladies - Tina Fey has news! Check it out, ladies - Tina Fey has news. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20479888,00.html?xid=email-peopledaily-20110407-20479888 A sign, maybe?


Great discussion. I was in your position just a few months ago. We decided to go ahead and try for a third. We set a deadline in which if it had not happened by this month then it was not meant to be. Well God had special plans for us, the last month before our deadline we got pregnant and found out last week we are having twins. At the time of our due date my oldest will have just turned 3 and my youngest will be 22 months. We will have a bunch of 4 - 3 and under! Even though I know this is going to be a rough road I feel very blessed and don't regret our decision at all.

jean grow

just an FYI for Lesli... the best purchase you can make right now is Dr. Barbara Luke's book on prenancy with multiples. It has EVERYTHING you will need to consider in the next year or so and is positive... most resources about being pregnant with multiples are depressing, but this one is uplifting!


As the mom of 23 month old twins (#3 should show up in abt 6 weeks) I second Jean's rec of Dr Luke's book. It is critical for expectant multiple moms.

As for the current discussion - I agree with the earlier poster who said that coming to agreement with your husband is the critical piece of this puzzle.

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