When I saw this list on CNN.com last week, I thought 'Bingo!' someone finally gets it, and I'm glad they are telling moms it's OK to not do everything by the book...whatever that means. We've taken these 20 things and updated it a bit for you Baby Bunchers. Just thought this would be a fun exercise.
1. Wanting to stay home with your baby. [But when baby #2 comes along wanting to find a way back to work to escape the chaos, but realizing it might just make you crazier that you would have to quit.]
2. Loving your job. [But being too tired and worn to love it for more than 2 hours.]
3. Hating your husband now and then. [But realizing that you have to love him so he'll help you out tomorrow morning when you're tired.]
4. Still not wanting sex -- way, way, way after your six-week checkup. [Well, apparently we all missed this one or else we wouldn't be in this situation. But after Baby #2 having sex with hubby will force you be much more careful.]
5. Not reading to your baby as much as all the experts say you should. [You're probably "reading" to your toddler so that counts as reading to your baby as long as they are all in the same room. If not, talking on the phone to your friend counts as language learning and your baby will eventually want to "read" a book like you read your People magazine. You're good.]
6. Introducing a bottle as soon as you get home from the hospital (even though you're not sure your milk supply is established yet) so you can get some sleep. [Just don't get the bottles mixed up.]
7. Supplementing with formula at any time. [Same as above.]
8. Lying to the other women in your mommy group about how long your baby sleeps at night (but you will get more sympathy if you tell the truth). [Tell them how easy the second baby is and encourage them to do it again soon so you will have some Baby Bunching friends. Yes. Lie.]
9. Not keeping up with all the milestones you're supposed to be recording in your baby book. [Wa ha ha ha!]
10. Never even starting the baby book. [Uh, if you didn't do this with the first, then we promise it will never happen with the second. Just let it go.]
11. Saying, "Great idea -- I'll try it!" to your mother-in-law's advice when you have absolutely no intention of giving it an iota of thought once she walks out the door. [Then leave her with both kids and run!]
12. Telling your partner you're going to the doctor for a checkup when you're actually going for a massage, pedicure, or to have your hair highlighted (it's not like he's going to notice anyway). [Um, as a Buncher you should have learned that once you're out the door, you should do all three at the same time and stop at the grocery on the way home or you may never have the chance again.]
13. Paying cash for your massage/pedicure/highlights so he won't discover the credit card charge. [No worries, he'll be happy that you're happy when you get home.]
14. Refusing another mom's invitation to a playdate because you can't stand it that she can leave crystal on her coffee table and toilet paper on the rollers and her baby doesn't bother any of it. [Oh, no, bring your kids. That will teach her to be so optimistic.]
15. Feeling a twinge of delight when the above mom's baby still isn't saying any words and yours has a vocabulary of six! [Yeah, that really always feels good.]
16. Putting on the Baby Einstein DVD for the third time before lunch so you can apply some makeup because that cute landscaping guy is due to come by and cut your grass sometime this afternoon (just because you don't want to have sex doesn't mean you're dead). [Baby Einstein DVD for the landscaping guy? No way, use that DVD to eat your lunch in peace, go to the bathroom or take a shower.]
17. Wanting to spend Mother's Day alone instead of with your family. [Amen!]
18. Going to visit your parents for the weekend because you know they will insist on doing everything for the baby and your mother will cook all your favorite foods for you. (Grandmothers can spoil their own children as well as their grandchildren.) [Agreed. Grandparents are suckers for that no matter how many kids you have. After all, eventually you will leave and they can sit around and talk around and talk about how glad they're not you.]
19. Napping when the baby naps even though he's nine months old. [Nap. Eat. Shower. Pee. Make phone calls. Check email. Never waste a minute of a sleeping child.]
20. Driving your baby home from the mall with poop in his diaper because the bathroom is all the way at the other end and you know he couldn't care less anyway. [Absolutely! Because while you're changing the baby, your toddler will surely be licking the walls of the bathroom. Safer for everyone to wait until home.]
The baby buncher add ons were so funny!
Posted by: Lori | Mar 08, 2011 at 03:25 PM
the baby book one makes me want to cry... with 4 under 4, I think it is time I come to terms with just having a babybin full of everything that can't be parted with. We can rummage through one day and laugh (or just cry some more!)
Posted by: jean grow | Mar 08, 2011 at 04:58 PM
This is so funny.I was feeling exhausted with all the chores and now you have made my day.
Thank you.
Posted by: Ruchi | Mar 09, 2011 at 10:46 AM
Love this. So true!
Posted by: Susan Dawson | Mar 09, 2011 at 12:16 PM
I don't know which addition I enjoyed more... "Leave her with both kids and run" or "Never waste a minute of a sleeping baby." :)
Posted by: Rachel O. | Mar 10, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I. LOVE. THIS. POST. Thank you. Thank you SO MUCH. I think I have felt guilty of 75% of this lately. HECK YAH. Thank you.
Posted by: Audrey | Mar 10, 2011 at 04:05 PM
Napping frees up time for mommies to do other things. Often, lactating mothers need sleep too.
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