Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

baby bunching Q/A: rooms

We received this question from Pamela on our Facebook page. (This is normally our Wednesday post, but we were delayed so it's up this week on Monday!)

Q: Rooms! Where to put them with limited space, who sleeps best with whom?

A: This is always one of our most popular topics. We're going to give you a summary again because the question keeps coming up again and again.

We're not completely sure of your house configuration, but needless to say most houses are 3-4 bedrooms and once that third kid comes along it may complicate your arrangements if you need to keep a guest room or office. (Says the women who work from home and need office space!)

Baby Bunchers traditionally go about this in different ways depending on their child's personalities. For example, you might want to consider putting together your two best sleepers, even if it's the oldest and youngest. Or you might want to put the non-napping kids together so you preserve the naptime for the little ones. Or if the wee ones still nap, separating them might actually be better so that they can be sure to get a nap while an older one can play quietly somewhere else.

Any way you look at it, the first few nights may be a little difficult no matter how you configure it, but stick with it and it will shake out fine - after all, kids have shared rooms (or caves) since the beginning of time. We are sure you have a grandparent with stories of babies being in a drawer at one point.

Having said that, a few of our favorite tips to consider:

1) Realize that they kids will probably wake each other up at first while everyone gets used to their new surroundings. This is inevitable. But it's something that will adjust after some time. Your best bet might be to use a white noise machine to help drown out noise from the other child--whether it's just waking in the morning or waking in the middle of the night.

2) Stagger bedtimes and naptimes for those sharing the rooms. 

3)  Naptime, which often involves a fair amount of goofing off since it's light out, may need to be staggered altogether (horrors!) or occur in separate rooms for awhile (yet another use for the faithful PackNPlay) until everyone gets used to a joint sleeping arrangement. 

4) When you make the transition, if your toddler is still in his crib, just leave him there in the new configuration until everyone has weathered the transition.  Having one less child free to roam the halls during a time of transition is a luxury you will be grateful for.

Basically, what it comes down to is a configuration that works best for your family and your children's sleep needs. It will take some adjustment and you may even have to give it a trial run for a few months and readjust later if it's not working. But children for centuries have learned to sleep together in the same room (or even share a bed) so we are certain with a little discipline, creatively and humor, you will be able to do this, too!

the fairness battle continues

When my kids were younger, the fairness battle was easier to mitigate. Little Baby wanted toy, we asked Big Baby to offer her another. As they got older, there were timers involved...you can have the toy for 3 minutes she gets it next when the timer beeps. Little Baby rarely knew what time she had been missing while I spent time with Big Baby. My point is that it was a lot easier to fool people back then when they had little to no reference points and well, couldn't talk.  

Now people keep score. Yes, we had to make sure the Christmas gifts this year were even (in quantity) because my older one kept track. And now we've moved on to keeping track of who goes where with whom.

That's right my older son is keeping track of what kindergarten field trips and parties I went on/to with him and happily reports to my youngest (now in kindergarten a year behind him) what type of things I did with him presumably so she can compare. And draw her own conclusions. Gone are the days of me battling who has more snack in his bowl, now I have to manage the fairness of what I do with one I also must do with the other knowing that everyone's truly keeping track.

If one child does soccer, does the other child need something comparable? My gut initially says no way! Each kid is individual and what is right for one is not right for another. But when one kids wants to take violin and the other asks for piano, I'm thinking you have to make it fair again. How can you say yes to one and not the other? Especially with something like music.

I'll tell you what this fairness thing gets expensive and time consuming. We wonder how we all get sucked into the craziness in the first place. And the challenge of managing back-to-back kids continues into elementary school.

trip to the doctor with your bunch*

*alternate title: The Very Best Use For Party Favor Bags

By Rachel Ostlie

Today was a big big trip to the doctor for me and my Bunch (daughter, who just turned 3, and son, 19 months). They were each due for a check-up, plus they each needed a physical as we apply for new health insurance. What that translated to at the pediatrician's office was keeping two toddlers happy in a tiny exam room, a full-body exam for each, two shots and a TB test for Big Baby and three shots and a TB test for Little Baby.

Once they stopped crying, I told them we were going for a walk to see the fishies. Our pediatrician's office is attached to a medical center with a lab, and the lab waiting room has... a huge aquarium. So off we went, their tears forgotten and their hopes buoyed by the thought of fishies. Down one hall, turn a corner, wait to be registered, squirm in chairs as the lady behind the desk took forever to register us, then down another two halls and turn three more corners all to find... the fishies were gone. For some inexplicable reason, they got rid of the aquarium. Now the only consolation was a TV high up near the ceiling, which was only of interest to Big Baby girl.

As I filled out forms (No, they aren't both three years old. No, the boy isn't potty trained.) Little Baby ran wild. The lab technician attended to the next person in line, and I overheard her say “I have two babies I need to draw blood from. But I'll do you first. One of them looks very strong.” I'd like to think that “strong” was what she actually meant, instead of “a real pain in the neck.” So I waddled down the hall to a bathroom, encumbered by my bag, various medical forms, and three winter jackets, calling my ducklings to come with me. The next trial was getting my three-year-old to pee in a cup. It's hard enough for some adults to pee on command, but getting my daughter to do it, with a cup positioned under her little bottom, was a challenge. I ended up having to semi-submerge the cup in the toilet bowl, then lift it up as soon as she started. I didn't get pee on me, but I got who-knows-what from public toilet water. All this while keeping Little Baby from having his own playdate with the johns in the next two stalls.

Back to the lab that no longer had fishies. The lab technician decided she'd try to do Big Baby, who by then was calmly sitting on a couch playing with stickers. Though the blood drawing went painfully slow, we managed to get through it with her. Then it was Little Baby's turn, who is actually in truth VERY strong. Thankfully, by then a second lab technician had arrived, and while I held his body in a legs-plus-arms-bear-hug, the other lab tech held an arm, and the original tech drew the blood. My son's blood had more viscocity than his sister's, and the ordeal was over surprisingly fast. I pulled out the lollypops I had received from the pediatrician's office and saved for the occasion, and granted them all some more TV viewing in the waiting area before we did our long walk to the car, and then home again.

All this would have been a much more painful experience, had I not made a split-second decision before leaving that morning. One that I highly recommend to anyone in for a long trip to the doctor's office, since you don't even have to prep anything. I brought along a party favor bag for each kid. We had been at a birthday party on Saturday, and, as usual, I hid away (there are definite benefits to having kids so young) the ridiculous amounts of candy and useless trinkets that the kids received. Frequently, the candy just sits around and rots. But this time, it had a noble calling. It saved the sanity of a Baby Bunching mommy and two poked and prodded toddlers, with each sticker, trinket, mini-book, and candy piece it contained.

Rachel is a Baby Bunching mom of a daughter (3) and son (1.5). No persons were truly hurt in the writing of this post.

baby bunching Q/A: crafting with your bunch

Q: My youngest is still too young for some toys and crafts that my oldest loves to do (crayons, paints, scissors, playdoh). How do you make sure that your oldest gets the enrichment from age-appropriate crafts when your youngest screams and cries over not being able to use those kinds of things? (My girls are 14 mos apart and my youngest is 23 months old. She just isn't ready for the things I listed above.)

A: Let me start this response (as a person who once loved crafting) by saying that crafting with my kids requires a whole different level of patience that I never expected.

The main suggestion we recommend is to be well-stocked with things that are age-appropriate for your youngest one. Take cues from what they are doing at school: dot/shape stickers, dot stampers, painting with plain water, etc. Your youngest is close to being able to do PlayDoh if you give her a small amount and something like Model Magic or Floam that comes up easily. Color Wonder paints and markers are great because they are also easy to clean up if things get out of hand.

I do not claim to be an expert in the crafting with kids arena (coloring and drawing is about my limit) so I called in an expert to give provide a few suggestions. Amy of TeachMama (who I know in real life) is a fellow Baby Buncher with kids 7,5 and 3. Also, she's pretty awesome, too.

The first thing she recommends is to forget about the mess. Once you surrender to the mess and accept there will be clean up, the kids can be creative and you can have fun, too. She says with all crafting projects she tries to give each child a focus.

Here are a few examples:

• Happy Heart Decorating: The older two followed the lines and cut out the hearts, the little one just cut the tissue paper into chunks.
• Painting Flower Pots: The 3-year old's job was just to cover the flower pots in white. The older kids got to decorate.  
• Pet Rocks: Amy claims this one is hard to mess up for any kid. Everyone washed the rocks and all painted. 

We hope this gives you some ideas and suggestions for ways to craft with your Bunch. With all this cold weather lately, our own homes have been filled with tissue paper, stickers and glue. Happy crafting!

For more inspiration, check out a previous post on this same topic: Crafting with kids

are they twins?

By Rachel Ostlie

It began when my son was 5 months old and my daughter was 21 months. The very first time that a stranger casually asked, “Are they twins?” At first my reaction was one of shock. Twins? I know that they were in a double stroller so you couldn't see the height difference (as if Little Baby could even stand at this point) but twins? Seriously?

Then again, it's no surprise that we Baby Bunchers are assailed with this question... after all, the number of twin births has risen by 50 percent in the past three decades*. On the other hand, Bunching your children saw a sharp downturn with the advent of oral hormonal birth control in 1960. So two adorable babies are generally assumed to belong to the multiples category. Right?

Honestly, I don't know what I answered on that day. Probably some variation of what I have answered the other hundred thousand times I've fielded that question at a school, library, church, or any other public area: “No.” If they were lucky, I might have said something spectacular after that, like “Umm...This one is older, that one is younger.”

Which brings me to an honest plea, sent out to the whole Baby Bunching community. Perhaps it stems from the fact that my petite firstborn daughter will surely be shorter than her linebacker large brother by the time they are four and three, respectively. But more likely, it comes from my desire to look clever. To have something better to say that just, “Um... no.” I would like to have a pre-formulated answer to give to all the casual strangers wanting to know if my kids cutesy twins or not. Ideally, it should be a sentence long, roll off the tongue easily, and be somewhat witty. Please, will anybody out there help me?

Rachel is the happy mother of two adorable children who are not twins, ages 3 and 1.5. She also really wants to be clever.

*National Vital Statistics Reports - Volume 48, Number 3 - from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

baby bunching bests

Just a few things from the week.....

Rookie Moms has yet another Challenge this week that you will NOT want to miss. This is MUST DO for all Baby Bunchers. Yes, do this now. This weekend if you can.

Lil Bee has some ideas on an interim wardrobe. She is a true fashionista so you won't want to miss these tips.

A interesting article that has certainly stirred up all kinds of debate. What do you think?

And Babble's Best Double Strollers from 2010.

baby bunching Q/A: working out

We received this question from Amy.

Q: How do moms get their workout in? I have three under three and have to get super creative, but we've been successful for 8 weeks now.

A: Amy, first of all congratulations for being successful for 8 weeks. That is a great start and one that will keep you going. Because as you probably know, the more you workout, the more you feel the need to workout.

Fitting in a workout with two or three little kids can be a challenge. There are as many excuses to not workout as their are reasons to get there in the first place. As a lover of working up a good sweat, I can tell you it's hard to get back after a baby. Cut yourself some slack in the early days. I had one trainer tell me that 6 months is when most moms start returning to the gym. That's when they feel both physically and mentally ready to start working out again. If one of your kids is still an infant, walking (and pushing a heavy double stroller) may be your best option until you feel motivated. Because motivation is 99% of working out.

But here are a few tips to fitting in a workout.

1) Find a gym with childcare. There are many benefits beyond just a line of treadmill that you can get from a gym. Most gym child care centers give you two hours to work out. I know moms (including myself) who bring their laptop to the gym after a work out and follow up on emails, take care of some business or return phone calls. This is a perfect way to get a few minutes to yourself and maybe even have a cup of coffee. I've even seen moms nursing babes in the locker room for some uninterrupted feeding time. Don't be put off by gym costs. If you actually go, it's worth it for babysitting, for your health and a long life of good habits. It can be an investment in your well-being. (Note: you'd be suprised how much room there is for bargaining on fees.)

2) Get a friend to join. All you need is one other person at the gym with you. If you make regular "gym dates" with a girlfriend, you're less likely to find an excuse to bail. It's even better if she has kids close in age to yours because then your kids get a play date out of the deal as well.

3) Get a trainer for a few sessions. I did this last fall and it's amazing what it did for my workouts. I only paid for 4 sessions. My workouts had become stale and boring, and she was able to offer me advice (and a routine) for getting in a thorough workout in 45 minutes (weights and cardio!). It provided me new energy for working out and a reason to go because I could do it in less than an hour.  

4) If you're motivated to workout at home, get a few good workout DVDs and let your kids work out with you. (I have never been able to make this successful, but know many people can do this.) Heck invite a friend over for this, too, so you can do it together. It might keep you from stopping to unload the dryer.

5) Walk. You'd be surprised how much walking can do for you. it's a lot easier than loading kids in the car sometimes, load everyone into strollers, wagons, scooters or other appropriate means of transportation and walk more places. You'll save on gas too.

6) Bike. Get a bike trailer and take the kids for a very long bike ride. Even if they are arguing you won't hear it.

7) Sign up for a 5K. If you're a beginner, a 5K is a good motivation for working out. Decide you will run the 3+ miles and do it. Running just 15-20 minutes a few times a week is a good way to give you a realistic goal. Chances are by then you'll decide you love the benefits to working out.  

Don't set unrealistic goals. If there is no way you will work out at home, don't go buy a treadmill thinking you will. If you are not a morning person, don't expect to be out for a run at 6:30 a.m. No one expects you to train for a marathon with little kids. The best advice we can give is to have a friend do this with you if you're not internally motivated to sweat. It's more fun and it makes you accountable.

Get out there and get in shape girl!

indoor fun for snow days

By Tara Wright

You wake up to see the white stuff coming down hard and the news advises you to stay off the roads. It's snowing too hard to play outside, so what do you do to keep the kids from tearing up your house or spending the day in front of the television? 

The following list of fun activities for all ages was cobbled together from a variety of websites, recommendations from other moms and other “in-the-know” sources.

Keep this list of ideas handy, or write each idea, plus any others of your own, on slips of paper and put them in a bowl. The next time the kids are bored, let them draw a slip of paper to decide which activity to do first.

Have a Picnic or Tea Party – Lay out a picnic blanket or an outdoor tablecloth on the living room floor and enjoy lunch together down there.  Or brew up some warm tea or cider and have a little tea time with crackers or sweet bread for an afternoon treat. Bring out the stuffed animals for extra company.

Do a Puzzle – Take out that 1000 piece puzzle, spread it out on the kitchen table or living room floor and dig in!

Resurrect Family Game Night – Dust off Candyland, Monopoly, Scrabble, a deck of cards or whatever other board games you’ve forgotten in the closet. 

Look Through Old Photo Albums – Pull out the old photo albums, sit around the table and show the kids what you looked like at your high school prom. They’ll love the old photos of Grandma, Grandpa and the rest of the family too. 

Scrap Book Together - Pull out that box of old photos that you have sitting in the closet that you’ve been meaning to do something with and let the kids make a scrap book of a family vacation or of themselves when they were young.

Build a Fort – There are always enough pillows, chairs and blankets around to build a fort or tent to go camping in the living room. 

Create Your Own Snowstorm – No two snowflakes are alike. Grab some white computer paper and scissors and make it snow indoors. Hang the snowflakes around the house for a winter wonderland.  If you have it, pull out glue and blue, white and/or silver glitter to help make your indoor snowstorm glitter like the outdoor snow.

Go on a Scavenger Hunt – Stash clues around the house (adjust difficulty based on the ages of your kids; use picture cues for little ones, tricky puns for older children), directing kids to hunt for hidden prizes.

Sit Around a “Camp Fire” – Turn down the lights, grab a few flashlights or candles, and gather around and sing songs or tell stories, scary or fantastic, as if you’re sitting around a camp fire under the stars.  If you have a fondue pot, melt some chocolate and grab the marshmallows and graham crackers to make smores to really get that camp fire vibe.

Bake – What a great time to bake a cake, brownies or cookies together! Then, you can pour some hot chocolate or hot cider and enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Write a Story –Even if your kids aren’t writing fluently yet, they can still create stories on their own.  Create a collection of blank books from construction paper and ribbon or string, and let your kids illustrate a story of their own creation.  Later, you can write the words for them as they dictate them to you, or they can sound out the words phonetically and write the story on their own.  Make sure the authors sign and date their books. They make great keepsakes.

Have Story Time – Grab some picture books and read out loud together.  Or have older children read stories to the younger ones.  If your children have written their own stories, have this be the first “public reading” and make it a special event, with refreshments and a captive audience.

Be a Pen Pal – Old-fashioned letter writing is a dying art.  Help your child write a letter or make their own card to send to Grandma, cousins, a friend, or even an elderly neighbor and make someone’s day when they open their mailbox a few days later.

Make Puppets – All it takes are some paper lunch bags and crayons or markers. Or go through the sock drawers for a handful of orphan socks. Get some yarn, buttons and big fat needles. Have fun creating wacky puppets and then have the kids put on an equally wacky puppet show.

It’s Show Time – Challenge a group of kids to stage a play or talent show. If they need a little jump start, give them a theme or some wacky opening lines to get them started.

Be a Treasure Hunter – Everyone has boxes in their basement or attic that haven’t been opened in years, sometimes decades.  If your kids are a little older, pull out the boxes and go through them.  The kids will love finding and hearing the stories behind Dad’s old wrestling trophy or Mom’s science fair ribbons.  Make a rule that anyone who finds a treasure they like gets to keep it.  Who knows, you might even be able to clear out some of the junk you’ve been meaning to get rid of or you might find some treasures of your own that you forgot about.

Have Fun with Play Dough –Play-dough made from scratch is easy, there are recipes all over the web, and you can make an endless array of colors with basic food dye or powder drink mixes (think Kool Aid, fruity iced teas or lemonades).  Plus, you won’t have to worry about your younger ones putting their hands in their mouths while playing with it.  Spread the outdoor tablecloth on the floor, and give them dull knives, a rolling pin, and some cookie cutters.

Finish Their Homework – No kid wants to do it, but getting a head start on their school work will get it out of the way so that, when the weather does clear, they can be out building snow forts and throwing snow balls.

Do Nothing / Use Their Imagination – Occasional boredom is good for kids.  It’s rare that children are truly bored; they just haven’t learned to exercise the imagination part of their brain.  Make a rule that if your child say’s “I’m bored”, they’ll have to do chores.  Eventually, they’ll think of something to do.

[We'd love to hear some of your own ideas for indoor fun when the weather's bad.]

take the rookie moms weekly challenge

We are big fans of Rookie Moms. If you haven't been reading their insightful blog, you should. Heather is our fellow Baby Bunching mama over there and together with her coauthor Whitney, they provide an awesome assortment of tips and ideas for rookie moms or even not-so-rookie moms.

Starting this week, for 52 weeks (a whole freakin' year!), they will have a new weekly challenge for moms to do. And since you haven't missed a week yet, you can start with us. We love this week's challenge of pretending you're in Europe. Really, what could be better than that. OK, maybe actually going to Europe. Alone. Without kids.

But this activity still sounds pretty awesome. Here's how to modify for Baby Bunchers, since many Europeans are Baby Bunchers, too. 1) Don't distress if it's cold because this outing won't last long. 2) Take a buddy if you need to since you won't be reading or journaling. 3) Bring snacks for your kids to play/munch with while you stare into space. 4) Breastfeed your baby in public. It's très European! 4) Get a sitter and take just the baby or better yet, go alone. 

Enjoy! (And let us know how it went.)

thou shalt not covet

By Rachel Ostlie

Sixteen months. Barely a blink of an eye for an adult. Far too short, in most people's minds, to be a reasonable gap between two children. But it's incredible how much the baby gear world changes in that tiny time frame.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I did my research. A lot of research. I read all the parenting magazines, trolled through the baby websites. I asked advice from my mother and mother-in-law. I made a questionnaire and sent it out to all my mommy friends, asking them their opinion on cloth vs. disposable, infant carrier vs. baby wearing, umbrella stroller vs. pimped-out buggy.

Then came the second pregnancy, with further research. Another car seat. A double stroller. More diapers. I chose what I was certain were the best options, then scoured ebay and Craigslist to find the best deals.

Somehow, through all that, I became a guru to some. The person to go to when you want to know what detergent to use with cloth diapers, or what double stroller to buy, or the merit of various baby wearing options. Not wanting to rely on past research, I continued to research, read blogs, and keep up with the new options. And sixteen months after the birth of Little Baby, I found myself with a dilemma... EVERYTHING WAS BETTER. The world of baby gear had moved on without me, and I had been left in the dust. Though I once loved my Beco Butterfly baby carrier, and would crow its advantages to anyone who would listen, I now had a huge crush on the Beco Gemini (ergonomic, with outward and inward facing options for the baby. And a hip hold, along with the front and back standard options). And where I once drooled over my Phil & Ted's Sport, and could not imagine a more perfect stroller for my bunch, I now coveted the Baby Jogger City Select (with it's sleek lines and seemingly endless configurations).

Almost makes you want to have another baby, just so you can have an excuse to buy the newer, nicer things.

Thankfully, I'll be moving out of the country in the next eight months, and finances are tight, so all these new things I am coveting over aren't really an option. Though, I must admit... I still bid ridiculously low on ebay, in the vague hope that I might still get my latest baby gear crush.

Anybody else in the same boat? What is your baby gear crush? A $500 baby bag/purse? An amazing double stroller? Luxury baby bedding? A silver teething ring? If we can't give in, at least we can commiserate...

Rachel is a baby-bunching mom of a 3-year-old daughter and a 19-month-old son. She lives in the Chicago area, and would gladly appreciate a donation toward her dream Baby Jogger City Select.