are they twins?

By Rachel Ostlie

It began when my son was 5 months old and my daughter was 21 months. The very first time that a stranger casually asked, “Are they twins?” At first my reaction was one of shock. Twins? I know that they were in a double stroller so you couldn't see the height difference (as if Little Baby could even stand at this point) but twins? Seriously?

Then again, it's no surprise that we Baby Bunchers are assailed with this question... after all, the number of twin births has risen by 50 percent in the past three decades*. On the other hand, Bunching your children saw a sharp downturn with the advent of oral hormonal birth control in 1960. So two adorable babies are generally assumed to belong to the multiples category. Right?

Honestly, I don't know what I answered on that day. Probably some variation of what I have answered the other hundred thousand times I've fielded that question at a school, library, church, or any other public area: “No.” If they were lucky, I might have said something spectacular after that, like “Umm...This one is older, that one is younger.”

Which brings me to an honest plea, sent out to the whole Baby Bunching community. Perhaps it stems from the fact that my petite firstborn daughter will surely be shorter than her linebacker large brother by the time they are four and three, respectively. But more likely, it comes from my desire to look clever. To have something better to say that just, “Um... no.” I would like to have a pre-formulated answer to give to all the casual strangers wanting to know if my kids cutesy twins or not. Ideally, it should be a sentence long, roll off the tongue easily, and be somewhat witty. Please, will anybody out there help me?

Rachel is the happy mother of two adorable children who are not twins, ages 3 and 1.5. She also really wants to be clever.

*National Vital Statistics Reports - Volume 48, Number 3 - from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Comments

[Shell]

OMG. I get this all the time! What's really funny is that they'll ask if my oldest and middle are twins. I'll say no...and then they'll ask if my middle and youngest are twins. (yes, all of my kids are bunched together)

One of these days I'm going to point to my oldest and youngest and say "But they are."

[Amanda]

I've been getting that same question too now that my 14 month old daughter is catching up with my 25 month old son. I just reply, "No..but sort of." That's the best I can think of because it's just too darn complicated to explain the whole story to a stranger lol!

[Deena]

My 3 year old daughter is adopted from Guatemala & her little brother is 2 (big American bio baby) & I get asked A LOT if they are twins. She has gorgeous skin & is obviously Latino & he is a whier than white blond hair German baby! People are so funny! I love to watch their expression when I casually say "no, they are 14 months apart"

[Jen R]

I would love to have a snappy comeback! I get that question often, with my 28 month old girl & 7 month old boy. Sure there are only 4 lbs between them...but seriously?

[Renee]

OMG I get this ALL.THE.TIME. It started for me when my middle was still in the infant carseat in the stroller and my oldest (22 months older) was walking alongside the stroller. I used to always say "well, clearly they aren't and point to my toddler then my happy little newborn swaddled in her car seat. I mean on second glance they can't seriously believe that they're twins. But it only got worse and worse the older they got. My oldest was a "micro preemie" (only 1 lb 2 oz at birth) so she has always been small. My oldest two are now 4 and almost 6 and the 6 yr old is smaller than the 4 yr old so these days I just indulge people. "yep, they are. they're 4" lol. Sometime after the middle started looking a little older I started saying "Sure they're twins. They were just born 2 years apart. It was a REALLY tough pregnancy" ;-)

[H]

I get this all the time, too, although it has decreased now that we use the double stroller less (we're at the 3/4 age now & we also have the linebacker little brother). It happened so much, my daughter actually said "Can we just say we ARE twins, mommy?" Unfortunately, I have no witty reply ~ my reply has always been, "No, they're just close in age."

[Buddha Mama]

I just say "almost" and pause dramatically, then walk away :)

[Stacysinc]

My son is 20 months and tiny, while my daughter is 6 months and gargantuan. I tell people that they ARE twins, but girls just take longer to get ready. I'm not sure if others find it amusing, but I do - I picture my daughter curling her hair and applying 14 months worth of mascara in my womb. Good times.

[Rachel O.]

I love the ideas, everybody! Thanks so much and keep them coming...

[jean grow]

We JUST got asked (for the first time today!) if my 20 month old daughter is twins with her almost 4 year old brother... the awesome moment was when my mom walked up behind us with his actual twin! Then she wasn't sure if we were lying to her... the twins are fraternal, so we figured this was coming:

Gabe is blond-haired, blue eyed and skinny (the eldest by 1/2 hour and taller)
Caleb is brunette with green eyes and muscles (shorter but heavier by far)
their little sister is a copy of Caleb...
and we just had #4, so everyone at Costco was eyeing our bunch as we shopped.

So far as witty comebacks go, my husband looks forward to confusing the issue by claiming that we were both single parents who met at soccer practice. If you like freaking people out, it might be fun to take that approach to some silly extreme. I suspect Forest will probably soon be making stuff up about how we bleach Gabe's hair just to make it easier to tell the boys apart... or he'll do something worse like claiming that the littlest girl has a hormone deficiency (and go all emotional as if they brought up a sore topic.) Someone told him about a leg-lengthening procedure from Asia that is used to add up to 4 or 5 inches in adult height... perhaps he'll claim we used that on Caleb and haven't saved up the money for his 'twin' sister yet. Horrifying the general public seems to amuse my husband... especially since the general public seems to think that commentating on family size is acceptable!

[Cecily]

I am a twin and my older sister is only 2 years older. We were all very blond and looked alot alike. We also were living in Greece at the time so we really stuck out. People used to ask my mom all the time if we were triplets and my mom would say we were, they just fed my older sister more.

[Mauritius Honeymoon]

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