Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

early morning mall strategy

I rolled my eyes yesterday when I heard the local Macy's would be open round the clock for the three days leading up to Christmas. What crazy people go to the mall at 3 a.m. to shop, I thought. Who needs something so bad they have to shop in the middle of the night? This morning as I got ready for the day, I found myself completely out of my moisturizer. I know this is a silly thing to be concerned with, but three days before Christmas, family in town, photos to take, winter cold on my skin. This was a required run to the mall, which come to find out opened at 7 a.m.

I discovered this isn't such a bad thing. No one was there, but a few moms with strollers. I parked up close. No crowds. Some amazing deals. Festive music and an welcoming Starbucks.

Baby Bunchers, I may have found the solution to last-minute shopping craziness. Those moms there with their babies were using their heads this morning. My kids have always been early risers. We are up and dressed and ready to go before most people are even pondering the cold-morning floor. Back in the day when Baby #2 needed a nap by 9 a.m., I could have already taken a quick jaunt to the mall, finished some shopping and been back home in time for naps.

I dashed in this morning and quickly made my purchase. Stopped off at a few other places (including Hanna Andersson who was offering an additional 20% off everything in the store) and made it out in 30 minutes. No lines. No crowds. No fuss!

I'm sad for the retailers who have to succumb to being retail slaves (like my beloved sister in law), but I think taking advantage of the early morning mall opening could be a Baby Bunching solution for years to come.

last minute crunch with your bunch

We must be the only school district around with school that goes until Wednesday. But you won't hear me complaining since I can get the last minute chores done before the whole family descends upon my house. But if your kids are out from school and you're wondering how to get everything done with your Bunch, fear not as we have an annual tradition of providing you a few quick tips to survive the last few days before Christmas.

If you're needing to get out and about this week to get last-minute gifts, send packages or plan your holiday menu, going with your two toddlers could make it a bit tricky. So here are a few suggestions to get you through:  

1) Get a sitter (even if it's for one kid)! Beg a neighbor to trade off on babysitting favors for one morning and high tail it around town like a mad woman. Make sure you have a list and group your errands for the most efficiency. If you can't arrange a babysitting swap, bring a mother's helper along with you ($5 an hour or so). She can at least trail behind you with the kids and feed them snacks while you shimmy through Target at light speed. But try to unload at least one kid with someone else. We promise this will make life easier!

2) Splurge on a fun coffee drink. My choice is always a Starbucks Peppermint Mocha. For $3 or so, if that will put me in the right frame of mine to deal with the rush and my Bunch whining about this and that, I say it's worth it.

3) Fa la la la from place to place. Yes, add a little caroling to your car to help lighten the mood (both theirs and yours).

4) Bribe them with lunch. Chick fil A is our preferred Christmas rush treat. We never go there and they love the idea of something fun for them when we're done.

5) Or if all else fails, wait until evening and collect a few other Baby Bunching moms and make a girl's night out of Christmas chaos then get drinks afterwards.

Best of luck getting it all done this week!

playground pecking order: mommy edition

By Rachel Ostlie

Do you remember back in elementary school? Everybody knew where everyone else stood in the playground pecking order. There was the “smartest kid,” the “fastest kid,” the “class clown,” and the “best draw-er.” Toward the upper elementary school years, I think we started developing a fashion sense and then kids were sorted into “cool” and “not cool.”

I had a flashback to those days today at the library. I take my little baby there for a 0-24 mos 'Moms and Babies Book Time' class, and big baby tags along. Today, because it was fiercely cold outside, we stuck around the library so the kids could play for a while out of the house. At the kiddie computers with touch screens, my big baby made friends with a mom and two kids (boy-girl twins) at the next computer over. The mom was super friendly and included my daughter while I chased little baby around the book aisles.

At first blush, this seemed like the perfect mom friend. Her kids were well-dressed and well-behaved. She acted like an early childhood education major with her way of narrating everything and encouraging participation from the trio of toddlers crowded around the baby computer game. But as our kids swarmed from one activity to another (Puzzles! Ship with puppets! Reading Tree with beanbags!) the feelings started. Feelings of inferiority, with a dash of jealousy. Yes, her kids were well-dressed, but they were better dressed than mine. Yes, her kids were well-behaved; they sat quietly while she read them a story, while mine continued jumping around on the beanbags. The sorest spot? They were just barely two, but babbled away in full sentences, using words like “tunnel” and all their colors. My big baby daughter, who turns three this month and is growing up with both Spanish and English, is nowhere near their level. In fact, when the über-mom asked her name, big baby held up her hand, fingers upward, and said, “Two.”

Each minute that passed, the debate raged within me. To stay, or to go? To make friends, or to just take the hook out of this fish and never turn back? Was my own insecurity as a mother a good enough reason to quit this relationship before it began? Just because I wasn't the smartest, fastest, funniest, or best draw-er, should I shy away from the monkey bars?

I'm still not sure what the right answer is... I'm almost thirty, and have been married for eight years, but I still have a lot to learn about relationships. How much of it is about what I get, and how much is about what I give? And how do my kids interplay in this give-get ratio? I'd welcome any suggestions or words of wisdom, but most of all, I hope this post reminds others that they aren't alone. No matter where you go, there will always be someone who makes you feel (in words or deed) that you'll never measure up. Then again, maybe next time you will be the superhuman über-mom everybody's jealous of...

Rachel is a Baby Bunching mom of a 3-year old and an18-month-old boy who are already being mistaken for twins. She lives in the Chicago area.

a little fa la la la

Last year, I saw this adorable article in one of my cooking magazines about all the yummies to have before and/or after a caroling party Yes, I should have stopped right there....you see where this is going, right? 

Caroling. Who carols anymore? No one, which is why more people should. I talked to hubby who totally endorsed the idea. After all, 'tis the season to spread cheer. I quickly polled a few friends and neighbors to see who would be game. All of them said the same thing: We've always wanted to do this, but just never got organized to. So being the total masochist that I am during the holidays, I took it upon myself to help spread the holiday cheer.

All seven families brought food. Kids, about 20 of them, ran all over the house. When all of us (most who are Baby Bunchers) decided enough was enough, we headed out into the freezing temps. We had kids of all ages, but none of them had done this before. We were faced with a few challenges--a small repertoire of songs (Rudolph, Jingle Bells, Joy to the World and about half of Frosty), the inability to actually walk to each house (kids actually sprinted as if it were Halloween) and then the desire to show off by initiating several mosh pits during the chorus. Oh, did I mention it was freezing?

Fooled once again by a bunch of kids who clearly had their own agenda for caroling. As my friend reminded me after the fifth house: "Not what you pictured? I guess we just have to go with it." And we did. The spirit was there. Most of the houses were surprised to see carolers at their door. Many clapped and a few sang along. The kids begged to go again the next day so I suppose all in all....it was a worthwhile attempt.

My lesson, yet again: lower your expectations. Oh, and practice the songs before you go.

baby bunching during the holidays: permission to simplify

You may have already noticed that the frequency of our posts are slowing up a little heading into this crazy time of year.  Or more likely, you haven't noticed at all because your own life is so crazy during this season that you don't have time to be bothered with our lives. 

In any case, the holiday season is both a blessed and tricky time of year for moms of Baby Bunches of all ages.  Is it just us or does it seem like the daily life of a Buncher is complicated enough without the addition of major machinations required to pull off the holiday season of yours (or your Bunch's) dreams?

Of course, we love all the festivities deep (really deep) down in our hearts.  We're not so Scroogey that we would recommend ditching the season all together, but we DO recommend considering scaling back a little.  And we happily give you permission to do so.

Your children will not be this young forever and life will not be this crazy forever.  If you try to do it all, you may find yourself frustrated that the cookies are burned, the ornaments have been ripped off the tree and broken, and the toddler has spilled a (supposedly non-spill) sippy cup all over your almost-done Christmas cards (as happened to me just two days ago).  Our advice is just to go with it and embrace the madness.

So your tree looks like crap and your cookies taste even worse.  So what?!  If the kids have fun undoing doing the tree and they accidentally rip the wrapping off their presents days (or even weeks) early, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?  Just re-hang the ornaments and re-wrap the gifts (putting them up high this time) and count your blessings that your kids are healthy enough to be so ornery.

We've done posts in the past on how to help your tree survive the holiday season, but we've got a few tips for helping you survive as well.

1.  Simplify.  Don't bake up a storm AND send cards to every person you know AND decorate your home like a show house AND wrap gifts worthy of Martha Stewart's blessing.  Just pick your favorite thing and knock it out of the park - and enjoy yourself doing it.  Let the rest slide.

2.  Speaking of simplification, the easiest thing to simplify is your Bunches' gift list.  Really.  They are 1 and 2 (or 2 and 3).  Even if they're 5 and 6, they're likely getting so much stuff from grandparents and other relatives that they're not even gonna notice if there's just a few well-chosen items under the tree from you.  Honestly, the younger they are, the less we recommend you buy.  Babies adore an empty box and cast-off wrapping paper (toddlers prefer noisy bubble wrap) from other people's gifts to any gift you can buy them.  Plus they get overwhelmed easily and lose interest in opening after just a few gifts!  Save your money for when they're older - they'll be asking for the moon soon enough.

3.  With the money saved from gifts, get yourself an sitter elf.  Even just a few hours to address cards uninterrupted, bake a batch of cookies without little people underfoot, or run to the post office without your "assistants" can help holiday stress levels plummet.  And we hope that you have your sitter booked for the company party already.  Cuz you totally deserve a fun night out with the hubs.

4.  Ditch the mental picture of perfection.  Because it's very likely that even IF you manage to get it together and get it all done, someone is going to get sick and throw a wrench into the works.  In six years of parenting, I have yet to escape a Thanksgiving/Christmas season without a holiday trip to urgent care.  I've spent 3 of those 6 years taking shifts sitting up with a stuff-nosed baby or toddler and feeling so grateful that there were relatives in town to take sleepless shifts as well.  

No, the holidays aren't always perfect, but they're ALWAYS memorable.  Embrace it!  And happy memory-making this holiday season!

baby bunching Q/A: diaper bags for two under two

Q: Hey guys just wondering if you have any recommendations on nappy bags for 2 under 2 - what works etc? I have gotten by lately with just carrying a nappy wallet for 15 month old but I remember when he was new in the world I carried nearly everything with me so when newborn comes I will be back to wanting to carry everything with me again!!

A: By the time you are in your last month of pregnancy with Baby #2, you'll have downsized your diaper bag significantly. No more of the giant-ass baby diaper bags where you haul everything in God's creation + the kitchen sink. You're likely down some to a swank Skip*Hop diaper wallet in a cute bag. We're going to highlight a few things we said in a previous post, so bear with us.

When Baby #2 arrives, we're sad to report you'll probably have to upgrade again since now you're toting for two.  

There are a few things to consider if you're in the market for a new diaper bag:

1) Find the smallest bag possible to hold all your stuff. Lay everything you need in your bag out and find one that fits everything and gives you enough room to stuff a baby fleece in if you need to. You're not going ANYWHERE without a stroller so in a pinch that can hold excess stuff. Why do we recommend small? Because you are already juggling a baby, toddler, a stroller, some kind of carrier/sling and some carseat. Don't weigh yourself down with a big giant bag, too. Believe me, when you're physically balancing it all, a lighter bag is better!

2) Don't be fooled by tons of pockets. You need to know how you use your stuff. If you're like me and you just toss everything into one bag, don't fall for the pocket or compartment gag. It just means you'll have to look in more places than necessary to find the binky. If you love having it all organized, go for it. (Secretly, I wish I could be you).

3) When things fall into the deep, dark cavernous crevices of your bag, it's because it's dark. Get a bag with a light (or better yet white) tinted interior. Yes, it may show all the Goldfish crumbs, but anyone who judges you by the tidiness of your diaper bag interior is not your friend anyway.  All my diaper bags except for one were black inside and it was impossible to find anything. With a light interior you're 50% more likely to find things quickly. (Yes, I made up that stat. Sounds good, huh? But I bet it's true!)

4) Finding the perfect bag is like find the perfect stroller. It depends on what you do and where you go. If you're leaving it at the sitter's house, then a big giant bag may not make a difference. But if you're an urban girl maneuvering through narrow streets, something smaller is going to be better. Consider these two things a) Find a bag that attaches in some way to your stroller. Even if it means buying an after market hook to keep it there. b) Find a bag that you can throw on your back or across your chest like a messenger bag.

Now, I personally don't have any great recs for diaper bags. I used a Maclaren bag for a while and I liked it enough to use it a second time around. Cara loved her Skip*Hop which was big enough, yet small enough and coverts from messenger to stroller bag.  She also used an Eddie Bauer Sport Sling Diaper bag, now only available on eBay probably, but beware the dark interior!  Lands End also makes a smaller bag called The Little Tripper. I ran across the Ju Ju Be "BeLight" bag which really says it all. You probably aren't ready for something quite this little, but it's quite possible if you're packing light this could do it. I love that the inside is also light colored (they're reversible, too).

Now, you know we only endorse things here at Baby Bunching that we think are really, really great for Baby Bunchers. I have not tried this one out, but think this is quite possibly the coolest thing ever. The Kemby Sidekick Diaper Bag/Infant Carrier Combo is a diaper bag that converts to a carrier in a pinch. Some mom was definitely thinking. Wow! I'm not sure how long you'd get use out of this, but it says it holds a baby up to 35 pounds so if granny wants to get a another gift for Baby #2, perhaps this is the one to get!

Please feel free to chime in with your favs.