Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

power to the ϋber baby bunchers

We have many readers and contributors on this site who have been given the distinction of "advanced buncher status." Basically, if you've gone on to procreate after your first Bunch, and then subsequently Bunch again....we consider you advanced. Brave. Dedicated. Heroic.

And I'm not quite sure why I'm amazed by celebrities that achieve this status because they have the money and the resources to do things like: send someone else to the grocery store, have someone else make the dinner or hire a cleaning staff. (Is there a pattern here? Do we just need more people to make this thing work?) But Baby Bunching is on the rise and more and more celebrities are joining the ranks--advanced or not: Heidi Klum, Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Britney Spears and Denise Richards.

So congrats Stella McCartney on baby #4 (that's now four in 5 years). At least we know they will all be donning the cutest kid clothes around while she's managing her Bunch.  Feel free to jump in over there and comment with the blog trolls about the baby names because it is entertaining.

Thoughts on advanced celebrity Baby Bunchers? Are they the same as the rest of us?

baby bunching Q/A: the thanksgiving table

Q: How do you keep 2+ kids occupied/entertained at the Thanksgiving table long enough to eat your own food? Seems like just as I finish serving the kids and finally sit down after having to get up 50 times to refill sippy cups, get new utensils to replace the ones thrown on the floor, etc, the kids are ready to take off. I'd like to sit down all together as a family, but maybe this is just a ridiculous fantasy?

A: Good luck! Depending on the age, this might be hard to do. But here are a few things to keep in mind:

1) If you have family surrounding you for this special day, take advantage and give them kid duty. Make Uncle Joe be in charge of one kid and put Grandma with the baby. Have them play sippy cup fetch with the kids or play another round of Uno. It hasn't grown old for them yet.

2) There should be enough food variety for any picky kid to take some time to explore new flavors and textures at the table. Isn't that why we make 20 dishes for 10 people? They should be busy mashing up potatoes with their fingers in a bowl or rolling some green beans around. Just let them if they are happy and behaved enough so you can eat. (As a side note, just found this cute article about kid-friendly side dishes for Thanksgiving.)

3) Get everyone to the table, put the food on, say your blessings, snap your photo and let it go. If the kids are running around while you eat, have a glass of wine and enjoy the fact that you have extra hands to help you clean up later.

4) Keep in mind it is what it is. Whatever Martha-like Thanksgivings you've had in the past, realize you may not see these again for a very long time. Take the china and crystal away from the 2-year old and explain to your mom again why it's not going to work. If the kids are misbehaving and talking when the grown ups are, remind Grandpa that they are 2 and 3 and there's not much you can do about it. Send your cousin to play with the kids and do dinner in shifts. Heck, that's part of being a family.

Chances are it will never be as bad as you think. It's Thanksgiving. People expect chaos and mess and still feel a sense of fulfillment afterwards. In fact, Thanksgiving may be a metaphor for Baby Bunching.

Have a great holiday!

let the turkey eating commence

In all my Baby Bunching Thanksgivings.....all 5 of them.....not one has been bad. Do you know why? Because the turkey and all the accessories are comfort food.

Whether you're battling the kids or battling your own parents, nothing says 'stop-and-be-thankful-and-enjoy-the-feast' like Thanksgiving food. We've done potluck with friends, small and quaint with neighbors and big time with extended family and no matter how you slice it, poultry and it's seasonal accouterments can send the soul into a rare heavenly place. It's one of the few times of year where eating (or overeating) is expected, the plate can be starch heavy, the kids can accepatably wreak havoc, the dinner can be in stages standing up and the desserts can outrank the main course.

Thanksgiving, after you get past the preparations, can be the perfect dinner of starch and dessert. Eat up, be happy and give thanks for your Bunch!

baby bunching bests

Just a little web reading the past week or so. Catching up. We hope you all have a fabulous weekend as it's the last one before the holiday chaos officially commences.

A few thoughts about breastfeeding in public.

A beautiful reflection on unconditional love.

These seemingly healthy snacks may not be. Do a check on yours.

Love the idea of an outdoor birthday party, even in the winter.

Certainly a clever way to disguise your toddler's potty.

As we've said all along, you need your mommy mentors.

baby bunching Q/A: best stroller option for the airport

If you are one of the lucky Bunchers who will be traveling by air this holiday season, which begins next week by the way, you may be struggling with what kind of stroller to bring. We have received multiple versions of this question in the last week.

Q: I need some advice for traveling with my Bunch. We are heading cross country in a month and are staying for 2 weeks. My boys will be 1 year old, and just over 2. We are flying from VA and connect in Chicago. My double is a Baby Jogger Classic, and it's just way to huge and heavy to fly with. The last time we did this we brought the single Zooper and I wore the little one, but that was when he was 4 months old, he's to heavy for all day baby wearing now. I'm considering getting another travel stroller before we leave. Any suggestions? Should I get another double, or maybe just an umbrella single, since I'll be traveling with my husband?

A: Most importantly, you need some way to secure and transport all member of your Bunch. In these days of tight luggage restrictions, you may be tempted to forgo a stroller if your kids are big enough to walk.  Do not delude yourself into thinking that your two year old, who behaves like an angel at the mall, is going to happily hold your hand and walk through five airport terminals to get to the gate.  Even the most well-behaved toddler will either bolt or refuse to walk in this situation.  Your mode of transportation will depend on the ages of your kids.  When the baby was very tiny, we found it most convenient to throw him in a Baby Bjorn and put the big baby in the stroller.  When they got a little older, the double stroller became handy.  

However, a double stroller is not necessary, and may not even be preferrable for airport travel. If your youngest is younger than 1, you might try some kind of backpacky like thing (a Kelty or even the Ergo). But we support two umbrella strollers if in doubt. Why? They are cheap, light and can pass through most doorways and into bathroom stalls without too much issue.  

So yes, our recommendation on this one is to take your single and get another single umbrella or just suck it up and get two umbrellas to save yourself the headache of ruining your current single. With more and more people gate checking last minute large bags, the baggage guys probably have less patience for any precious strollers that come their way. They will be flung on like the rest of the luggage. Since you're staying for 2 weeks you will probably need a way to transport babes once you're there so if someone else will be with you at all times, go for the two singles. If not, you may need to reconsider a double on the other end.

However, if you're looking for an "excuse" for a new stroller (like we need one of those) this new one from Maxi Cosi might be a fun option and one that you can use after the airport nonsense. Or if you are insisting on a double, a Sit n' Stand might provide you with some options along the way. Linda personally bought a double Jeep twin lightweight stroller for an international trip five years ago. The thing was light and easy to collapse, but the first trip across the Atlantic resulted in a casualty that meant the thing never folded right again. 

alternative cold remedies for you and your Bunch

It's that time of year again - nope, not the holidays - cold and flu season!  As a Baby Buncher, you probably know by now that the only thing worse than a sick baby is TWO sick babies (or maybe a sick husband, but that's another post).  

I'm house-bound today with the youngest 2/3 of my Bunch, who are hacking messes and persona non grata at preschool.  In addition to their nonstop crying and whining (unless napping) I know that no amount of hand washing or turning my head when they cough is going to protect me from their sickies.  Thanks to an extreme sensitivity to medication, I try to steer clear of doping myself and my kids up with an endless stream of cold meds unless I've exhausted all other options (although I do use Motrin to combat fever).  Fortunately, 6 years of parenting trial-and-error has produced a pretty streamlined cold and flu routine - we'll share our top tips with you if you return the favor!

• The SECOND we feel sickness coming on, we start pumping Vitamin C and Zinc.  We discovered this nifty homeopathic product a few years ago for kids - Boiron Oscillococcinum and it's sister product for coughing/hacking - Chestal Honey.  We don't do paid or bribed product reviews here at Baby Bunching, so if we say we swear by it, you can bet on it.
• In addition to stepping up the vitamin intake, pump lots of water/fluids and turn in extra early and take extra naps.  I know - who would've guessed that slowing down/taking it easy could speed up the healing process?!  
• I throw in 2-3 mouthwash gargles (gargles, not swallows) for me (not the kids) for a day or two when I start feeling sickness coming on as well.  I figure throwing a little extra germ killer on germs can't hurt.     
• For dry, germy, icky nasal passages, flush with a nasal spray (I like Afrin or similar products) or saline sprays for the kiddos. Flushing out nasal passages periodically seems to help.
• At night/during naptimes, a warm mist humidifier in the nursery can help.  At some point, someone (probably a pediatrician) told me cold mist is better (safer, maybe?) but I've found that to be a load of crap.  I got the warm-mist with a receptacle for vapors and it works like a charm.
• Speaking of vapors, Johnson's Soothing Vapor Bath (or like generic product) provides some slight bath-time relief of congestion - we use it for kids and adults in our house.
• Linda starts forcing Sambucus for Kidsinto her Bunch. Sambucus is a Black Elderberry liquid that helps boost immune systems.
• Finally, we have yet to try Linda's freakish wet sock remedy, but she swears by it and I'm thinking tonight may be our night. (Soak feet in warm bath water, put cold wet socks on and cover with wool socks. Get into bed immediately and sleep.) It is meant for congestion as it helps stimulate the immune system in the upper respiratory area, but can also work for sore throat and fevers. 

For more traditional "remedies," here are a few tips on getting your medicine cabinet flu and cold ready.

you might be a baby buncher if . . .

By Sharon M.

You might be a Baby Buncher if…

• you started to think your pregnant belly was permanent,
• your OB stopped looking at your chart since they already knew everything about you,
• you had a “Baby on Board” sign on your car for more than 2 years in a row,
• you see your kids' pediatrician more than you see your dentist,
• you get asked the infamous “are they twins?” question,
• you move Big’s clothes directly to Little’s dresser,
• you’ve ever used the restroom while holding an infant and watching helplessly as your toddler unravels the whole roll of toilet paper,
• even you sometimes accidentally put Big’s shoes on Little’s feet (and vice versa!),
• you can count on one hand the number of uninterrupted hours of sleep you get at night,
• you know more about double strollers than which governor to vote for,
• people start asking you if you are aware of birth control,
• there's no room in your car for guests in between the carseats. 


What else would you add to this list?

Sharon M. (mother of four, ages 5, 4, 2 and 8 months).

leave the photography to the experts

Rachel's post last week about toddler portrait roulette was a familiar scene for both of us. Every year we struggle with the entire process: clothing, timing, the actual event, choosing a photo where everyone doesn't look like freaks--you get the idea.

But we have an idea that might make this process better for everyone. There's still some time before the final holiday dash begins so perhaps there is a way to get the photo you want without the tears and have some fun with friends. Yep, you read that right. Two years ago my Baby Bunching friend Susan (four kids under 6) arranged for her favorite photographer to come to her house in her beautiful back yard. She booked him for the entire day. Each of us signed up for 45-minute slots with the photographer. This was a perfect solution for my family. We had her house for bathroom trips or clothing changes, as well as a few snacks she put out for us. The overlap in times allowed moms to actually visit and the kids could play a bit on either end.

By booking him for the whole day and guaranteeing business, the sitting fee was only $40 per person and that included 2-3 sheets of photos + the whole disk of the photos. After that, we were free to order whatever we liked.

And the results....were beautiful. Having kids relaxed in an outside environment with good friends to share in what could be a stressful event made it all that much better.

If you're a photographer and like this idea, feel free to leave your business info here for people to contact you.

craziness

In the world of Baby Bunching, craziness often forces us to move priorities. We apologize for the lack of posts this week. Promise to have one up tomorrow. Crazy school schedules, work agendas, moves, doggies, family health, girl's weekend and leaf raking have somehow prevented us from writing.

baby bunching Q/A: bunching alone in a new place

Q:  My husband is active duty military and while I am able to stay at home with my children, his job requires his absence for extended periods of time on a regular basis, not to mention the fact that when he is at home, he regularly works very long hours and  often leaves before my oldest wakes up and comes home right around bedtime. I would like to know if you have any tips that would ease the transition of settling in with the new baby, or bedtime, mealtime etc. with my oldest (and surviving the baby bunching scene alone). The two will be 15 months apart and I should add that we just moved out of the country, so in addition to the already momentous transition, we also are very far from family and don't really know anyone where we live yet.

A:Congrats on your impending arrival, and how fun that you'll be living overseas. I also raised my two kids overseas, and arrived in a new country when my youngest was 7 weeks old and my oldest 17 months. While challenging, it was an experience I wouldn't trade for anything.

You have a few questions here so let me address one at a time. First of all, surviving the early days alone. Settling in alone will be challenging.

We always like to offer a few tips:

• Get your toddler on a bedtime routine now! This will make things SO much easier later if you can count on the fact that he/she will be in bed at 7:30 and you're not still screwing with toddler AND baby at 10 p.m.
• If you can get someone to come help you out, like a grandmother or an aunt for the first few weeks, that would be worth it. Flights are often cheaper in the winter and having extra hands if hubby is not there, will at least help you get the lay of the land of this Baby Bunching lifestyle.
• Don't be afraid to not do it all. If your toddler doesn't get a bath or eats mac and cheese 4 nights a week, don't beat yourself up over it. No one can do it all, especially alone. So cut yourself some slack. (This will be ongoing motto you have to repeat to yourself.) 

Mealtime, bedtime, new baby and toddler will be chaotic no matter how you slice or dice it--with or without help. It's all part of the game.  But in fact, the first few weeks, what we call the quiet period, may be easier than you think when baby is sleeping all the time. Bring in extra troops when hubby is back traveling and baby has suddenly discovered his lungs.

Baby Buncher Michelle wrote a great post about surviving a deployment that might offer up some other great tips.

From what I have learned about overseas life and hubby being gone is the support system often tends to be BETTER overseas than here at home. People are ready to engage and help out when they can. So it might actually be better that you're there with a closer-knit support system. Immediately join whatever mom's group you can now to get your network in place. Having people bring you meals and stop by to help you entertain two kids is a HUGE help. 

We have so many moms on this site with traveling dads, we'd love to hear your stories as well.