Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

baby bunching Q/A: halloween candy

Q: This time of year begins the candy orgy. I'm looking for a few ways to manage the Halloween candy my kids collect?  What do other parents do?

A: This question is a popular one this time of year. If your Bunch is small enough (say under 3) going door-to-door is probably limited to a manageable pile of candy, as you will be lucky to make it to a handful of houses before the wee ones are worn out. However, once your Bunch reaches the age of 4, all bets are off on how this night plays out...and the prizes left behind the next day.

It seems every family has their way to manage this (Linda's house has the Great Pumpkin that comes the week before Thanksgiving to take the rest of the candy away), so we'll throw out a few suggestions we've heard over the years.

--First and foremost, do not let your kids take their Halloween bags to their room. No way, no how! You need to have some control over the sugar and the bedroom does not allow for that. Plus, you'll find chocolate on the sheets somewhere at some point.

--While you're checking your candy for razor blades, go through and pick out all the crap candy--things made in China that probably have lead and melamine in them - the things you know your kids (or you) will never eat--and pitch it. Right then. Right there.  While you're at it, get rid of any remaining choking-hazard candy.

--Some parents like to let kids have their candy fix for the next two days and then start rationing it out as desserts and treats from then on.

--Start a trade-in program. After a week or so when the candy high has reached a level of insanity, give your kids the option to trade in candy for something else....Silly Bandz, pennies, etc. A few dentists in our area are giving $1 for every 1 pound of food brought in. So check around to see what your area is doing.

--Donate it. A few places in our area are also taking candy for the troops. Donate your candy and they send it overseas for our moms and dads who need a real American candy fix now and then.

 --Steal a few pieces of candy a night and squirrel them away to the trashcan so the stash diminishes gradually and unnoticeably.  Be sure to focus on your kiddos' favorites - if all that's left is the stuff they hate, they won't want to eat it.

readjusting to new phases

Just when you have the routine down and life is going great, we promise something will change (growth spurts, potty training, illness, dropping naps, outgrowing the baby carrier, you get the idea).  What worked yesterday may not work tomorrow.

In the first year or so of Baby Bunching, we both got used to never letting ourselves get locked into thinking the way it is today is the way it has to stay. Heck, our kids keeping us on our toes is what makes life interesting.

As we steamrolled (or better yet hurricaned) through the first few years leaving the house a mess, birthday cards unsent and holidays half-assed, at some point it all plateaus. Yep, ladies and gents, you're hearing that right. At some point, you will wake up one more and everyone will sit at the table feeding themselves--they might even be able to pour the cereal, they will dress themselves and you will actually be able to finish your morning coffee. The tricky part is this may continue for a while and you'll fall into that comfortable routine. Then next week you'll wake up and and find yourself scrambling and trying to readjust all over again.

Folks, I have entered into a whole new phase of this Baby Bunching ride and while it is not quite as crazy as before, I'm finding myself at a new level of exhaustion trying to be one step ahead, but still catch my breath.

My kids are both in school now, and while one is still half-day kindergarten, I am finding the required level of both physical and mental energy on the steady increase. Each morning is filled with getting kids out the door. You think that's not hard well consider all the factors. The afternoons are filled with play dates, soccer practice, swimming and music. And for some reason this new phase is causing me to stop and reassess. The downside is I haven't had a chance to take a breath. One activity leads into the next and the next thing I know I'm waking up and it's morning. Here we go again today.

travel for two, two for travel: by car + plane

By Rachel Ostlie

[Editor's note: This is Part 2 of a travel. Find out a bit more about Rachel's lessons learned from a previous trip. Holiday travel, here we come!]

My second trip was a combo car-airplane trip, and significantly less eventful since my significant other came along. Two babies and two parents is fairly manageable.

We were off to visit my relatives in British Columbia, but airfare is much cheaper through Seattle, so we planned to fly and then drive up past the border. The trip going there was better planned: we had a four-hour flight, followed by a nice break in the Seattle area (including lunch at the Space Needle) and then a 2.5 hour drive to Canada. The kids did well with the short spurts, and little baby even slept on the plane. The biggest bummer was that my 2.5-year-old daughter fell on some steps as we were exploring Seattle and cracked her head open. We ended up driving around for two hours, being given directions to one hospital and getting lost, stopping at a pharmacy that couldn't help us, going to a clinic that wouldn't accept children under the age of six, visiting hospital that only accepted patients with a certain type of insurance, until finally being taken in at an ER. Thank God that most emergency rooms take anyone, I didn't have the kids' insurance cards on me and had to fax the info when I returned home.

Another upgrade from the previous trip-- my husband got an iPad. We put a few videos on it, and while I'm not big on my kids watching TV (we don't even have one in our home), this was a good time to make an exception. No installation necessary.... I just strung some yarn between the driver's and passenger's seat and hung the case on it!

Our return trip from Canada was a little more rocky, involving an early morning, my husband's passport that had expired, a border that didn't open til 8, forgetting to fill the rental car with gas before returning it, and checking in a mere two minutes before they closed our flight. We were grateful, however, for our effective packing. With all the security checkpoints and the cost of checked-in bags, I believe we found the sweet spot for travel with two parents and a baby bunch.

Our equipage consisted of: two rolling carry-ons (one with babies' clothes and one with parents' clothes), a backpack filled with activities/toys for each child, a latop bag for the dad, a backpack/diaper bag for the mom, an umbrella stroller with a hold-on handle, and two carseats in bags. The carseat bags were a life-saver, because you can check them in for free. We went ahead and tossed in our extra shoes and toiletries, saving us the hassle of stuffing them in the carry-ons, and then taking them out at each security checkpoint. (Note: I wouldn't abuse of this, since the spirit of the law is to help parents with kids. Packing your baby's entire library in a carseat bag would be fairly suspicious and may result in paying luggage fees.) Also a life-saver was the hold-on handle (from www.greaterthanonekids.com, but if you're crafty you could make your own). Most of the time I had little baby in the umbrella stroller (which fits through those x-ray machines) and big baby holding on to the handle, which was colorfully made to look like a bee. Any extra hand counts when you are running through an air terminal, I can tell you that!

Lessons learned:

1. Get a GPS or learn to use the one on your phone. You never know when you will have a sick baby that needs medical care in a strange city. 

2. Bring some basic first aid items along wherever you go. You never know when you will have a sick baby that needs medical care in a strange city. 

3. Bring your insurance cards along wherever you go. You never know when you will have a sick baby that needs medical care in a strange city. Do you see a theme?

4. As mentioned in the previous post, get a portable DVD player/iPad/something.

5. Bring an extra sippy cup or buy the disposable multi-pack kind. Our daughter lost hers mid-trip and we spent a lot of time cleaning up spilled drinks.

6. Have plenty of snacks and toys. The winners on this trip were pretzels, stickers, and pipe cleaners. You can seriously do anything with pipe cleaners... make glasses, a tiara, or bracelets, practice shapes, make cars or animals to play with each other, share with other kids, etc.

7. Be creative with your packing, and decide if maxing out your carry-on allotment is worth the hassle. My husband and I grew up overseas and are seasoned travelers, so we enjoyed the challenge. Others may prefer to relax a little more on their trip.

8. Be creative with baby transportation. Double strollers are not airport friendly... so consider options like slings, soft-frame baby carriers, hold-on handles, and sturdy umbrella strollers (which you can check in at the gate).

9.  Pace yourself. Give breaks to babies and parents (sitting in a vehicle or plane does not count) for everyone's mental sanity.

10.  Do not expect to enjoy the travel, but find joy in the small things (like naps, being prepared with extra napkins for that spill, or being together a a family).

In the end, traveling with your bunch is much like any other day: Be prepared. Expect the worst. Hope for the best. And enjoy the ride.

babies, the movie

Last week, with hubby out of town, I had a great time watching Babies, although note here: I think he actually would have enjoyed it. If you have not yet seen this, I highly recommend it.

It takes you through four stories of babies around the world: San Francisco, Namibia, Mongolia and Japan. It's quite a contrast, as you'd expect from each of the countries, but I felt strangely drawn to the Baby Bunching mom in Mongolia as I watched the older brother roll his baby brother out to the cows and hit him with a sock. (Yes, he was my favorite!) Clearly we have come a long way from tying a baby (very lovingly) to the rafters on the bed so mom can get laundry done in a hut and putting a matchstick on a chicken chunk (presumably so baby doesn't choke), but I still felt it endearing to know what we all do to protect our kids. (Prepare to be grossed out by the baby in Africa who poos on his mom's knee and she scrapes it off with a corn cob.) It somehow makes our lives seem so much easier. And who knows, when your kids wake up in the morning you may feel a new sense of energy.

If you've seen it, which babe was your fav?

 

travel for two, two for travel: by car

By Rachel Ostlie

Traveling with two toddlers is a Herculean labor. Traveling with two toddlers in our post-9/11 world is even worse.

I had the problem privilege of multiple trips with my bunch this summer and early fall, and I'd love to share my stories with anyone who will listen. After all . . . it's always fun to laugh at another mom's trials.

The first, and most painful, was a weekend car trip. My husband had work, so he couldn't make the 850-mile trip to a college friend's wedding. Thankfully, since I live in a major city (Chicago), my friend had another friend in the area willing to drive. So after a play date and numerous emails to hammer out the details, two moms and three kids (ages 30 months, 13 months and 9 months) left at 5 a.m. to the Deep South. Now, I had spoken to this mom-acquaintance and suggested an early start, saying,“This way the kids will sleep for the first three or four hours of the trip, and it will make things go much easier.” But after moving my kids from their beds to our car and to her car, they were less than drowsy. And her daughter wakes up at 5 am EVERY DAY. You have to wonder why she didn't share this with me!?! The end result was three kids wide awake at 5am, and two moms hitting the road with even less sleep than usual.

We tried to be wise, stopping every so often for diaper/potty breaks, and taking long lunches (curse you, McDonald's, for having an outdoor play place with searingly-hot rubber flooring!). But the trip dragged on and on. Each traveler contributed to the problem. 10-month-old darling was as sweet as can be when my older ones were awake, as she was not much of a crawler and used to sitting around. In fact, she was really entertained by the big babies. But if they were asleep, she began to whine and scream out of boredom, waking everyone else up. My rambunctious and adventurous 13-month-old, already a strong walker, was dying to get out of his car seat in the first thirty minutes. No amount of singing, toys, cheerios, or fruit snacks could placate him for long. My toddler girl, used to having a space of her own, was ready to start a nuclear war after her brother's repeated incursions into her car seat territory. I was in the passenger seat, twisted around like an acrobat, trying to keep everyone happy. Which meant that my fellow mom had to drive. And drive. And drive. Midnight approached and we hit construction traffic in Atlanta . . . and then we finally arrived at our final destination around 1 a.m.

On the way home, less than 48 hours later, my mom-acquaintance strongly suggested that we break the trip in two. A reasonable request, given that I drove less than an hour on the way there (due to baby demands and bleary night vision from glasses I never wear). So I bit the bullet and agreed. She had a restful night in a hotel room with her daughter. I was up most of the night, bouncing between my toddlers who were amused by the new location, each other's noises, and mommy's determination to get them both to sleep. But the return trip was much more tolerable, and I am grateful that I got to see my friend get married.

Lessons learned:

1. Get a portable DVD player/iPad/something. I borrowed one from a friend the night before, and it didn't work!

2. Be as open as possible about expectations when traveling with non-family. 

3. Have plenty of snacks and toys, especially new toys or toys you hid from your children for the past month.

4. If stuck with two babies in one motel room, consider using the bathroom as a second “bedroom.” 

5. Be flexible with others in the same high-stress situation as you.

6. Be creative when it comes to caring for your kids.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Rachel's adventure.....

your top 10 baby bunching questions

Every Wednesday we like to run a Baby Bunching Q/A from one of our readers. We have noticed that many of you have a lot of the same questions. The reason for this? Well, we always have new people coming onto the site as they join us fellow Bunchers.

In an effort to help our readers, we've put together the Top 10 Baby Bunching Questions from our weekly Q/As. We hope you will find this useful. (Please note that many of the comments from people also provide great suggestions, but at the end of each post are other posts related to the topic.) If you have other comments/tips to these posts, please comment within the actual post.

1) How do I prepare my toddler for new baby's arrival?

2) What's the best strategy for room sharing?

3) How do I transition my baby into a big boy/girl bed?

4) What recommendations to you have for syncing up naps?

5) What do you do with a toddler while you're trying to settle the baby?

6) How do you get everyone to bed?

7) What are some tips for potty training a toddler while keeping an eye on the baby? See also the Potty Training series: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3

8) Do you have some tips on helping my kids learn to take turns? 

9) How do other Baby Bunchers manage grocery shopping with everyone?

10) Knowing what you know now, would you still Baby Bunch?

(If you have a Baby Bunching questions, let us know and we'll be sure to post yours next week.)

having a plan is key

Even as a seasoned Buncher, once in awhile I am reminded of CRITICAL Baby Bunching lessons that no Baby Buncher should ever forget.  Today was one such day.

With the Columbus Day holiday, all three kids were home from school, although hubby had to go into the office.  Life has been pretty crazy lately (and by lately, I mean for the past 6 years), so I had it in my head that we might try to "pop down" to the Children's Museum for some fun and then maybe "lay low" at home for the afternoon.

Both crappy ideas.

Because as you know, there is no such thing as "popping" anywhere with a pack of kids in tow, nor is there any such thing as "laying low" when the adult:child ratio is 1:3.

Without a well-formulated plan, the entire day was, frankly, a giant cluster.  Although everyone was up and at 'em by 7:30 am, I dilly-dallied around until about 9:30 before investigating the children's museum website, only to discover that they are CLOSED on Mondays.  Reeling, I frantically (and unsuccessfully) tried to come up with another plan.  Every idea sucked.  We'd just been to Chick-Fil-A over the weekend, the neighborhoood playground is too hard to manage all three kids without another adult, the library was closed for the holiday, etc. etc.  We I finally decided to have a "quiet" day at home playing in the yard, doing art project, playing games, and maybe watching a show or two.  

HA.

Instead, my kids (including the toddler) spent the whole day alternately tormenting each other and/or me, and trashing my house.  It took 2 attempts to nap the toddler before he finally caved and fell asleep, which was the day's only saving grace because if he hadn't left the house OR napped, it would've been meltdown city by 4 pm - leaving 2 1/2 LONG hours before hubby showed up to rescue me. Without a plan, I was left floundering all day long, darting from one child to another, to meet Constant Needs of the nourishment, entertainment, and personal safety varieties.

Lesson learned here is to always have a plan. Have a plan for the day, for the outing, for the meals, for the vacation, for all of it.  Even if the plan doesn't involve leaving the house, it should include approximate times for meals, naps, playtime, downtime, etc.  I've learned one too many times that letting the day unfold rarely ends well for a Baby Buncher.  And I learned it again today - the hard way.

a little incentive to get your kids outside

We all agree one of the important things we Baby Bunchers need to do, no matter how hard it is, is get out of the house with our kids. It's amazing what a change of scenery can do not only for our kids, but also for our own spirit. Even more importantly is actually getting the kids outside. Fall is an amazing time for kids of all ages to explore puddles and leaves. The weather is often perfect and bug free for the most part.

What we love about being outside is it's free. So if you need to bail when things go awry then it's no great loss. Getting outside is even better with friends. Playgrounds are easier to manage when you have more hands and eyes available. If a playground is too hard to orchestrate at this age, a walk in a park is always better with some company.

For those of you who continually writein to ask about Baby Bunchers in your area, we have the perfect opportunity for you to start your own outdoor Baby Buncher playgroup. And there's even a bonus incentive as well.

The folks at ActiveKidsClub.com have a great website dedicated to getting kids of all ages outside to play. Kari, the founder of the site, has set up an online forum to actually help parents get outdoor playgroups started. You can blog about it, communicate with your group members on her site or solicit new members in your area. Even better the other outdoor playgroups (from all over) post the things they do with their groups so you can actually "borrow" ideas for activities beyond just the playground.

So here's the extra cool part, our favorite children's clothing company--Polarn O. Pyret--is providing an extra incentive to get kids outdoors. (As if hanging with your friends and their kids on a beautiful fall day isn't enough.) If you start a playgroup through the ActiveKidsClub.com, Polarn O. Pyret will give you a $75 gift certificate towards the use of outerwear. (Hey, that's the cost of a fleece and an adorable little hat!)

Start the group via Active Kids Club. Use some of their tips to publicize and spread the word. Get your kids outside. Make some new friends. And get a few free clothes. Sounds like a good idea to us!

baby bunching Q/A: tummy time + running toddler

This question made us laugh our loud so we decided to include this for the week.

Q: How the heck do you do tummy/floor time for a baby with a toddler running around with toys all over the floor trying to "help" the baby roll.

A: A very good question, and this seemingly simple task often ends up as par for the course in Baby Bunching. We remember our toddlers running over baby with a push toy or just literally running over baby if we looked away for half a second. For some (like Linda), it was hard because her second was actually happy to "hang" on the floor unlike her first. So her toddler made this enjoyable activity a constant battle.

No, you probably can't put baby on his tummy and get dinner on the table unless your toddler is strapped into the high chair. And that's exactly what you could do! Baby Bunching is part ingenuity and part sweat. You make it through the process better with a smile and some creativity. Or like many of us, Baby #2 might just forgo tummy time and start crawling before you realize it.

So here are a few ideas:

--Put toddler in the high chair for snack and put baby on the floor for tummy time. Bring in a few foam mats to the kitchen if you need to. In fact, bring everything into your kitchen (if it's big enough) because you're living there anyway!

--Try tummy time in the crib. Go into baby's room and put baby on tummy awake in the crib while you and toddler keep busy nearby doing whatever chores/play that give baby some time to pull up his head and chest.

--Provide tummy time for baby while toddler is otherwise engaged--bathtime (yes, bring some foam interlocking mats into the bathroom or a boppy on a bath mat), reading time or while toddler is napping.

--Realize this is only the first of many times Baby #2 will have to get used to toys and an older sibling making things a bit challenging. And Baby #1 will have to learn that walking on the baby and throwing toys is not OK with a younger sibling.

baby bunching at the playground

We are LOVING this cooler fall weather, which means lots of opportunities to get our Bunches outside to play hard in the fresh air (which translates into better naps and earlier bedtimes).  But we bet that if you're six or more months into Baby Bunching, you've realized that ironically, playgrounds are actually not always the most kid-friendly place spaces when you've got a crawler who prefers wood chips to goldfish crackers and a toddler who's learned how to sprint and wants to explore the big-kid equipment.  

No, not all playgrounds are created equal, but over the years we've learned how to scope out the most Buncher-friendly ones.  Here are a few evaluation criteria for you to use when sussing out play places.

-Ground cover.  Few playgrounds have concrete anymore - if you find one that does, skip it.  Steer clear of gravel, which is a giant pit of choking hazards when your kids are very young.  Wood chips are OK until your baby is old enough to shove them in her mouth.  Sand is usually fine and could possibly entertain older toddlers more than the play equipment.  Rubber surfacing is great - just be sure the day is not too sunny so your little ones don't burn themselves crawling on the surface.

-Age-appropriate playscapes.  If your baby and toddler are both on the move, we really recommend that you stick to playgrounds that only have toddler playscapes.  Toddlers are curious and adventurous creatures, and will likely gravitate towards scaling the most advanced equipment in sight.  If you've got a crawler to spot as well, then stick to the little kid's playgrounds.

-Proximity to street.  Our city has an awesome playground with rubber surfacing and age appropriate equipment.  Too bad it is literally yards from the city's busiest street and only half of it is fenced in.  Clearly, none of the city's Parks and Rec planners have children.  Your Bunch can probably run faster than you can.  Save yourself the stress and find a park set a good bit back from the road.

-Crowds.  Is the park frequented by other people with small children or are there lots of school-aged big kids that will run roughshod over your kids?  Is the park typically very crowded?  Is it easy to keep track of your kids?  Which brings us to a related point...

-Visibility.  Is the equipment laid out so that you can see your kids at all times?  Or is the playground so big that they can slip from play area to play area without you really seeing them and get lost?

-Water hazards.  Kids are drawn to water like moths are to flames.  If you're on your own with the kiddos, might want to steer clear of that park with the sweet little creek running through it.

-Restrooms.  Available?  Clean?  Potty training toddler - need we say more?

-Shade patterns.  Babies and toddlers get overheated fast.  Look for shaded playgrounds or unshaded ones for the winter months, which may give you a bit more warmth in the cool late afternoon.

-Remoteness.  As a mom with very young children, you do not want to be in a remote area alone with your kids.  Our city has an awesome toddler park set back in the woods.  And they use county prisoners to do trash pickup there.  Again, someone in the city left their thinking cap at home.  We prefer to visit this park in groups and steer clear of it on days we are playing by ourselves.

There are a few pieces of gear you need to have on hand for your playground visit, especially if you come with a baby who is not yet mobile. Make sure you always have a blanket (so you can spread out over the mulch, sand, gravel so your baby can sit/lay and watch), a stroller and some kind of carrier. You need your hands free to supervise your toddler as he tries to leap off some ledge or in case he needs to be rescued from a slide.  The best accessory, of course, is a friend.  With multiple adults, you can fan out around the playground and collectively supervise all of your children in "zones" without breaking stride in conversation.  Happy playtime to all!