moving big to the big boy/girl bed

Here at Baby Bunching, one of our most frequent reader questions is always about whether to move Big to the Big Boy/Girl bed before Baby's arrival or invest in that second crib.  As a general rule, we pretty much always vote for the second crib, but every kid is different, so you can read a few tips on factors to help you decide here.  Some toddlers are ready to move out of the crib at less than two years old and happily snuggle into a toddler bed, box-springless mattress on the floor, or regular bed with crib rail.  Others prefer the safety of the crib bordering into the preschool years, and you will finally have to boot them out for fear that they willl be there so long that it will be problematic to fit their spouse in there with them some day.

But eventually, Big will need to move on up and the transition to a big kid bed can be just as scary for parent as for child (think: errant toddlers wandering in the night and naptime battles thanks to newfound freedom).   A few tips to make the transition easier:

• Determine your child's readiness - If they're repeatedly trying to escape, it's a safety issue and time to ditch the crib.  Yes, there are crib tents, which are great for very little acrobats (under age 2).  But if your child is a little older, why invest in those when the move to a bigger bed is inevitable?  And beware that what's right for one kid may not be right for the next.  Sometimes, little ones with older sibilings are ready even earlier.  We traveled a lot one summer and my Middle ditched the pack-n-play to sleep with big brother so frequently that by the time we returned home, he was DONE with the crib - he'd been sleeping in various big boy set-ups all summer!
• Get the bed right - Toddler beds are great if you have a crib that converts, but we don't neccessarily recommend running out and buying a toddler bed.  It's another baby item that has a short lifespan, when a regular bed (or mattress without box springs) will do just as well.  Shove the bed up against one corner, get a bed rail for the other side, surround the bed with pillows on the ground for the first few nights, and you're good to go.
• Get the room setup right -  First order of business is thoroughly baby-proofing the room, even if you have an older toddler.  We plugged all outlets, wrapped up all window cords, bolted all large furniture to the wall with furniture straps (yes, there IS such a product) and actually removed most toys.  We put a baby gate across the doorway to prevent midnight wandering.  Then we padded the walls (just kidding on that count, but we weren't far from it).  With all boys, we knew that freedom to get out of bed at will could only mean they would go looking for trouble.  So we tried to head it off in advance as best we could.  
• Talk it up, but not too much - Talk about the move, tie it to a reward if you want, and let your child be involved in room setup and decor, if they're interested.  Make it a big deal, but not TOO big of a deal.  Don't let them pick up on your anxiety.  If there's one thing I've learned in 6 1/2 years of parenting, it's that kids are a lot more resilient that we expect them or give them credit to be.  Chances are, your kid's gonna roll with the change - you're the one that will struggle.
• Be firm - Speaking of you, parents play just as much of a key role in the success of the transition as the child.  Your child will get out of bed.  You must send them back. Repeatedly - until they get it that just becuase they are ABLE to leave the bed, doesn't mean they CAN.  Think of transition to big bed as Sleep Training, Phase II.  You taught your infant how to sleep (hopefully) and now you have to provide gentle but firm reminders on how to sleep in a different locaiton.

Did we miss anything?  If there are any transition tips you've learned, do share!

Comments

[Kelly]

Great post. I've been giving this some thought now that i'm prego w/ #3. #2 will be 23 months when #3 is born. We borrowed a crib for her when big brother was still in the crib, but that crib is now being used by it's original owner, so not an option this time. I'm just planning on seeing how she's doing later this winter. Next question is where to put all the kids since we'll have 3 kids and only 2 bedrooms for them!!!!

[Michelle]

This post is fitting as we just moved big brother into a big boy bed at the grand age of 37 months. I slept in a crib untilmy 4th birthdaay, so I wasn't in aany hurry, plus in the last year my husband deployed and we moved 3800 miles. So far, so good. It has meant a return of nightwakenings for big brother, but he has not yet left the room. The only adddition to your list would be a good top of the gate stairs if you live in a two story house....and a child-proof door knob cover for little's room, so big doesn't go in there to wake up the baby while you sleep.

[Rachel O.]

We moved my daughter into a big girl bed around fourteen months of age. We only had a pack-n-play (no crib) for her, and when it was recalled, we just moved her straight into a bed. The bed with a railing worked out great, since she was too small and afraid to climb out!

Now my son is sixteen months old and we're still struggling with sleep training. It was nice with my daughter, since we just lay down with her til she fell asleep to a CD. We might buy a used toddler bed so we can employ the same strategy with #2... especially since they share a small room, and we plan to move before he would outgrow the toddler bed.

[Tricia Morgan]

We've moved both our 1st and 3rd child into a twin bed before they were 2 yrs. old. One thing that I think helped the transition was we started having them nap in there during the day for a couple months before we made transition at night too. That way I could see how they were doing in there, keep my ears open, and they could get used to it a bit. We didn't have a problem either time moving to night time. With the 1st, we did put a gate in the door. With the 3rd, her bottom bunk has rails all the way around and she hasn't tried to get out by herself - but I think having her sibs with her helps, she'd rather stay with them.

[Erika]

I moved my daughter a month or two before her sister was born, so when she was 21-22 months. In talking with friends, I discovered that doing the transition before she knew how to use a doorknob was helpful! We usually sleep with the door cracked but when it is bedtime or naptime the door gets closed all the way. The room is child-proofed (no diaper creams, plastic bags, cords, etc in reach) and she has a basket of books to read while she's falling asleep if she chooses. We close the door and let her go. It has been about 5 months now and basically we had no problems. Except an occasional mid-night wandering. (We crack her door when we go to bed so she can get up and wander at will. But the door creaks so we wake up when she does. And the stairs are gated!)

Every child is different, but mine is one data point for the fact that it can happen with no problems before age 2.

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