Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

delish make-ahead meals for your bunch

Finding great make-ahead recipes (beyond lasagna) that you can freeze, are great treasure finds. They are perfect as welcome gifts for new moms or novice Baby Bunchers. They are nice for afternoons when the activities are so crazy you just don't have time to prep a meal. It's a great meal strategy for working moms who may have the time on the weekend, but not during the week. They are even great packaged for sick grandmas or neighbors who need a little extra TLC. And many times on cool rainy days, like today, I use the time inside to do a little meal prep for a busier day.

About two years ago, a Baby Bunching friend of mine--who also happens to be a caterer--passed along her collection of make-ahead recipes. I was looking for something beyond the normal 'cassaroley' type things that I could take to a new mom in town or to my own mom (who is ill) and doesn't have the desire to cook. Since then, many of these awesome recipes have been incorporated into my weekly menu. These recipes have been tested and tweaked by my friend's cooking group--and me--so I promise they are delish! Some of these are so yum, like the Fish Veracruz, you could make them to serve later on for company. My family's personal favorites from this line up include: Chicken Pot Pie, Turkey Meatloaf with Cranberry Relish (perfect for fall), Beef Strognaoff, Mexican Manicotti and Crab Quiche. They all come with directions on how to store in the freezer.

Check out the complete collection of what I like to call Leslie's Make Ahead Recipes. If you have a few of other favorites that you enjoy, let us know. We love to recipe swap. Leslie, if you're reading, let us know if you have any new favs to add to this list.  

(Note: These recipes are posted with permission from my Baby Bunching friend who generously put them together for people to use to help with meal preparation. Please do not take this collection and pretend it is yours. That would be mean.)

baby bunching Q/A: 2 kids, 2 birthdays in a week

A question from Amanda about celebrating birthdays.

Q: Any ideas on how to celebrate 2 birthdays at once? I feel like my oldest got the shaft last year for his first birthday because I was two weeks postpartum. Their birthdays are less than two weeks apart and it seems like it would be less work to only have one party. Also, how can I gracefully tell guests NOT to bringa gift? Between having two kids under two, we have enough toys and books!

A:I feel your pain - we have two birthdays in one week here (my 2 and 5 yos), plus their dad's just a few days later, to boot. We are BIRTHDAYED OUT by the end of the last week of July. What we ended up doing that has worked well is alternating who gets the "big" party. Last year we had a blowout for the one-year old, and the four-year old had a low key party with a few friends. This year, five-year old actually had a big "unbirthday" during the school year because he is a summer birthday and most of his friends are traveling the last week of July as well. That also worked well. Two-year old (who got the big bash last year) just had a small family gig.

That being said since your kids are a year apart (if I read that right) you probably could get away with doing a joint party for a while. Usually peak birthday ages--you know where they talk about birthdays constantly--are from 4 until 7 or so and then they tend to get smaller again. (Meaning a few friends for a sleepover or a movie will suffice.) During that short window, you may just have to do back-to-back parties or find creative ways to include friends from both kids. Playground parties are great because you're not head counting except for food. Pool parties also give you some flexibility with numbers and a broad age range.

To address the present issue, when they are tiny, just say no gifts on the invitation. Most people will be grateful for it. But when they get bigger, it's a bit harder to dodge the presents. And gifts by then are fun for the kids to actually give, too.  We have scaled way back on the gifts we buy them to help offset the gift giving extravaganza.  Also, we have finally shifted our grandparents to checks for the college fund and a small book or something, which helps as well.

tempering toddler tantrums

A toddler's universe pretty much boils down to three things: 1) me 2) mine and 3) love me.  They know exactly what they want, even if they can't convey it in a language that others understand yet.  They haven't yet been completely socialized or conditioned to understand that they can't always get what they want, and they're often physically too small just to go and take what they want.  All of these factors combined mean that life with a toddler is a little like living in the vicinity of an active volcano.  You can expect that it will pretty much erupt at any time, but you can't predict when, how often, or how much.  

Many a toddler tantrum has roots with mom or dad not understanding what he wants, which just sends him (and often the parent, too) spiraling out of control in fury.  Communication issues are one thing (and something they eventually outgrow),  but what do you do when you know exactly what your toddler wants, but it's completely unreasonable?

In a scene from my own life - of late, my 2-year old, the Caboose, has an obsession with lights and fans.  He wants to spend all day, every day, walking around the house turning lights and fans ON and then going back and turning them OFF.  And then on, and then off.  Repeat.  Obviously this is not a realistic nor healthy use of time.  I gamely played along for 10 minutes or so, and then made several attempts to redirect him to other toys, sternly telling him I was NOT going to play his game anymore because I had work to do.  This literally sent him over the edge.  He was beside himself in an inconsolable fit of fury.  This led to a time-out to get control of himself, which only further enraged him.  He didn't want hugs, he didn't want his Lovey - I was at a complete loss as to how to calm him down.

He had just woken up from nap and had a snack, so he wasn't tired or hungry.  He was just being unreasonable and no stern admonitions  or time-outs were going to stop him.  This particular fit lasted a good 15 minutes, and what finally shut him up was when his brother offered him a cookie.  Now, why didn't I think of that?

But seriously, as I replay the scene in my head (because I'm sure to replay it in my reality tomorrow), I'm not sure what to do differently.  He knows what he wants and is determined to have it.  While I can give a little, I have to draw a line somewhere - which leaves us at a standoff at that line in the sand.  And how do you reason with someone who is so unreasonable?

Tell us your most effective methods of tempering toddler tantrums.  I'll need a few new tricks in my bag tomorrow, so I promise to test-drive them all.

name your favorite baby carrier

One of the challenges to Baby Bunching is always transportation--by car, stroller or foot. Usually we talk strollers here, but we've had several requests to put together a Baby Carrier Guide similar to our Double Stroller Guide.

But this time we need a little help from our friends. Back when we had our first two, our options for toting our babes were A) sling B) Baby Bjorn and C) cheap knock off of Baby Bjorn. Fortunately, for those Bunchers today, the selection for carriers is nearing that of double strollers. So we wanted to lend a hand on things to consider when choosing your carrier.

We're been taking a mini poll over on our Facebook page. (Please feel free to join in.) But you can leave a comment here or email us directly with your favs. We'll do the research on all the products available and report back on pros/cons and pricing. So what will it be? Ergo, Moby, Baby Hawk, Beco? Let us know.

doing the getting dressed dance

This morning, as I was wrestling my 2-year old to the floor to get him dressed for the day, I had a Baby Bunching flashback to the days when I had a 2 1/2-year old AND a 1-year old to wrestle into clothes - typically several times a day.  The daily infant and toddler fashion show was exhausting enough - by the time both boys were old enough to be on the move and we threw a cat-and-mouse chase into the mix, the getting-dressed routine felt so insurmountable that I often considered staying home all day just so I didn't have to swap pajamas for playclothes.

Somewhere along the line, I learned a critical lesson that simplified things a little.  Have EVERYTHING you need to dress the child right next to you so that once you finally pin him down, you can get him fully dressed - new diaper, clothes, socks/shoes, and yes - even brush teeth.  Honestly, violating the no-shoes-in-the-house policy is worth  sparing yourself the experience of tracking your toddler down 15 times a day to take shoes on and off.  

To do this, it is helpful to have changing stations throughout the house, particularly if you have multiple levels.  I had a changing station with not just diapers and wipes, but several extra outfits for each child (including socks) on each floor of my house.  I'm not neccessarily talking a changing table - even just a changing pad tucked in a corner with diapers and clothes stashed in a basket or other container will do.  And don't forget to tuck complete sets of toothbrushes for everyone at every sink in the house (including kitchen).  You just want to spare yourself as many trips up and down (both off the floor and up the stairs) as you can.

Just be sure that when you finally pin everyone down to get ready for the day, it's AFTER they've eaten breakfast.  Otherwise, you're gonna be doing it all over again in an hour....

 

 

baby bunching Q/A: getting pregnant while breastfeeding

We received this question from Julie. It's one that we thought we'd throw it out there for our readers since neither of us were trying to get pregnant while breastfeeding.

Q: I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 7 month old (2 years and 8 days apart).  My husband finally agreed to a third, but would prefer sooner rather than later. How do you plan to be a Baby Buncher if you're still nursing?   I've reached the point where I'm ok with being pregnant again.  But I'm still nursing, and my monthly visitor hasn't returned yet.  I know it happens to lots of people who don't plan it this way, but is there something I can do?

A: Since Cara was still nursing when she got pregnant (accidentally), and Linda had already stopped nursing when she did, we're going to ask our readers to chime in. But first we did a bit of asking around from some breastfeeding experts.

Our Baby Bunching friend Andi of Mama Knows Breast reminded us that it is still possible to get pregnant while nursing, that is how she found herself with Baby #2. While exclusive breastfeeding is a great method of birth control, it's not 100% if certain things don't apply. She referenced Kellymom.com who says "exclusive breastfeeding (by itself) is 98-99.5% effective in preventing pregnancy if 1) your baby is less than 6 months old 2) your period hasn't returned 3) baby is breastfeeding on cue (both day & night), and gets nothing but breast milk or only token amounts of other foods."

Sounds like to us if you're not totally breastfeeding (meaning your babe is getting solids, too) your chances of getting pregnant while nursing do go up. It also may mean just tinking with when/how often you nurse. Check out Kellymom.com's page on breastfeeding and fertility as it might give you some tips on what to do. Good luck!

finding 'me' in the middle of a bunch

When my second baby was born, I was immediately pulled into a hurricane of activity--two kids less than 16 months apart, diapers everywhere, bottles of different sizes, crying, sleep issues and an international move on top of that. My days were spent in the kitchen, moving one or both kids from point A to point B, feeding/changing someone every hour and trying to catch a break for myself to pee. Survival.

My life had been turned upside down and sideways with babies, and of course, it left little time for me to focus on "me." I couldn't help but lose some of myself in this chaos.

At church on Sunday, the these was about finding your identity. Finding the "me" you want to be. Who am I? I can say without a doubt the me I was before kids is completely different than the me now. And I'm not talking about the me that said my kids would never eat McDonalds or watch TV. The me that sees things on the street sees them differently now. The me that interacts with other parents, judges less. The me that struggles to make it through a day sometimes can't manage the last bit of tasks before bed.

Basically, the day my second baby was born my life took on new meaning. My role in the world did, too. And for the next three years (until my oldest was about four) what little "me" time I had was spent working part-time, running errands childless or sneaking off for a quicky pedicure. There certainly hasn't been time to sit and ponder my identity.

After a few days of simmering on this topic, I think I realized the answer may be simpler than I thought. Motherhood changes you forever. It forces patience and acceptance. It makes you understand that things are not always as they should be or as you expect. Organization is important, but you have to willing readjust and redirect on a dime. You have to be willing and able to laugh at your mistakes and move on quickly. You have to know when to throw your hands up and just cry "uncle!"

My own "handicraft" is a big part of being me. I am blessed that it translates from place to place and I can find different ways to practice it as I change.

I think when it comes down to it, everyone has some kind "craft"--whether is storytelling, music, mediation, persuading, organizing, constructing, etc.  But I believe that it's important for all of us to find some time during the week to perfect our craft and build on it. Because that designated "me" time makes you who you are. And as your kids grow up, it's the "you" your kids want to know.  

moving big to the big boy/girl bed

Here at Baby Bunching, one of our most frequent reader questions is always about whether to move Big to the Big Boy/Girl bed before Baby's arrival or invest in that second crib.  As a general rule, we pretty much always vote for the second crib, but every kid is different, so you can read a few tips on factors to help you decide here.  Some toddlers are ready to move out of the crib at less than two years old and happily snuggle into a toddler bed, box-springless mattress on the floor, or regular bed with crib rail.  Others prefer the safety of the crib bordering into the preschool years, and you will finally have to boot them out for fear that they willl be there so long that it will be problematic to fit their spouse in there with them some day.

But eventually, Big will need to move on up and the transition to a big kid bed can be just as scary for parent as for child (think: errant toddlers wandering in the night and naptime battles thanks to newfound freedom).   A few tips to make the transition easier:

• Determine your child's readiness - If they're repeatedly trying to escape, it's a safety issue and time to ditch the crib.  Yes, there are crib tents, which are great for very little acrobats (under age 2).  But if your child is a little older, why invest in those when the move to a bigger bed is inevitable?  And beware that what's right for one kid may not be right for the next.  Sometimes, little ones with older sibilings are ready even earlier.  We traveled a lot one summer and my Middle ditched the pack-n-play to sleep with big brother so frequently that by the time we returned home, he was DONE with the crib - he'd been sleeping in various big boy set-ups all summer!
• Get the bed right - Toddler beds are great if you have a crib that converts, but we don't neccessarily recommend running out and buying a toddler bed.  It's another baby item that has a short lifespan, when a regular bed (or mattress without box springs) will do just as well.  Shove the bed up against one corner, get a bed rail for the other side, surround the bed with pillows on the ground for the first few nights, and you're good to go.
• Get the room setup right -  First order of business is thoroughly baby-proofing the room, even if you have an older toddler.  We plugged all outlets, wrapped up all window cords, bolted all large furniture to the wall with furniture straps (yes, there IS such a product) and actually removed most toys.  We put a baby gate across the doorway to prevent midnight wandering.  Then we padded the walls (just kidding on that count, but we weren't far from it).  With all boys, we knew that freedom to get out of bed at will could only mean they would go looking for trouble.  So we tried to head it off in advance as best we could.  
• Talk it up, but not too much - Talk about the move, tie it to a reward if you want, and let your child be involved in room setup and decor, if they're interested.  Make it a big deal, but not TOO big of a deal.  Don't let them pick up on your anxiety.  If there's one thing I've learned in 6 1/2 years of parenting, it's that kids are a lot more resilient that we expect them or give them credit to be.  Chances are, your kid's gonna roll with the change - you're the one that will struggle.
• Be firm - Speaking of you, parents play just as much of a key role in the success of the transition as the child.  Your child will get out of bed.  You must send them back. Repeatedly - until they get it that just becuase they are ABLE to leave the bed, doesn't mean they CAN.  Think of transition to big bed as Sleep Training, Phase II.  You taught your infant how to sleep (hopefully) and now you have to provide gentle but firm reminders on how to sleep in a different locaiton.

Did we miss anything?  If there are any transition tips you've learned, do share!

seeing double with bugaboo

Yes, the news is true. Bugaboo just announced its plans to a sell a double stroller beginning next year. The Porshe of the stroller industry has apparently realized it's missing a huge market out there. But for Baby Bunchers it may be the realization that Baby Bunching is not only très chic, but here to stay.

As many of you commented on our Facebook page, the price tag (not yet released) may require you to sell one of your children thereby not needing the stroller at all. Strangely the stroller looks a lot like others recently out on the market. Or perhaps they are copying the Bugaboo. Is it worth the extra money for the original?

We know stroller knowledge is important to our readers as the double stroller is your main mode of transporting your Bunch. Our Baby Bunching Double Stroller Guide is a bit outdated. And in the past year, new strollers from Peg Perego, UppaBaby, iCandy, Baby Jogger and Britax have all come out with similar looking Bugaboo and Phil & Ted like strollers. Many convert from a single to a double and include a million other configurations.

We know you all rely on us to provide you with the latest and greatest, but we need your help on this. Post here or send us an email at [email protected] or post to our Facebook page what you love/hate about your current stroller or the ones you have used in the past. We will compile it all for you with a newly updated Double Stroller Guide and a few of our favorite picks.

a baby buncher's grocery dream: scan it, pay, go

As Baby Bunchers, we're always searching for ways to make our lives easier, especially regarding chores. I would bet grocery store shopping is probably one of the most challenging for many of us. Unless you go alone without kids, you're always finding the best way to get everyone into and out of carts, through the store and back home again without losing your mind (or a child).

In the past we've offered up suggestions on the perfect cart, the best configuration in the cart and how to get your menu planned before you go to the store. Today, I finally got up the nerve to try the hand-held scanners at my local Giant. I think we may have a winner!

The first time I had seen this system was in Sweden, of all places. I was intrigued by the idea of me scanning all my own groceries along the way, and at the end, just paying and leaving. But with kids ages 8 months and 2 years old, I wasn't brave enough (read: didn't want to take the time) to figure out the system. The scanners reappeared in my Giant last fall, but it's taken me a full year to get up the nerve to try them out.

And after passing by the wall of scanners tons of times and glaring at the scary-looking machines, I finally decided to give it a go when I heard my friend mention that this was the ONLY reason she took her Bunch of three to that grocery store. I went in with my list of 20 items to test it out. I let my youngest (now 5) scan each item. I placed it in my canvas bags and pranced around the grocery store feeling very proud of myself for mastering this technology. (Warning: Make sure your child is not wandering around scanning things you aren't aware of or you may go home with a bigger grocery bill than expected.)

Hands down the best part of this process is the checkout. Scanned my Giant card, scanned the finish bar code, it downloaded my purchases and I paid! Everything is already bagged, and I walked out before anyone else.

Combine this little toy with the double-seated or car cats, and you might have yourself a fun, productive little outing for everyone.