baby bunching Q/A: 2 kids, 2 birthdays in a week

A question from Amanda about celebrating birthdays.

Q: Any ideas on how to celebrate 2 birthdays at once? I feel like my oldest got the shaft last year for his first birthday because I was two weeks postpartum. Their birthdays are less than two weeks apart and it seems like it would be less work to only have one party. Also, how can I gracefully tell guests NOT to bringa gift? Between having two kids under two, we have enough toys and books!

A:I feel your pain - we have two birthdays in one week here (my 2 and 5 yos), plus their dad's just a few days later, to boot. We are BIRTHDAYED OUT by the end of the last week of July. What we ended up doing that has worked well is alternating who gets the "big" party. Last year we had a blowout for the one-year old, and the four-year old had a low key party with a few friends. This year, five-year old actually had a big "unbirthday" during the school year because he is a summer birthday and most of his friends are traveling the last week of July as well. That also worked well. Two-year old (who got the big bash last year) just had a small family gig.

That being said since your kids are a year apart (if I read that right) you probably could get away with doing a joint party for a while. Usually peak birthday ages--you know where they talk about birthdays constantly--are from 4 until 7 or so and then they tend to get smaller again. (Meaning a few friends for a sleepover or a movie will suffice.) During that short window, you may just have to do back-to-back parties or find creative ways to include friends from both kids. Playground parties are great because you're not head counting except for food. Pool parties also give you some flexibility with numbers and a broad age range.

To address the present issue, when they are tiny, just say no gifts on the invitation. Most people will be grateful for it. But when they get bigger, it's a bit harder to dodge the presents. And gifts by then are fun for the kids to actually give, too.  We have scaled way back on the gifts we buy them to help offset the gift giving extravaganza.  Also, we have finally shifted our grandparents to checks for the college fund and a small book or something, which helps as well.

Comments

[Lindsey]

my bunch has birthdays 10 days apart in April. we did a joint Cowboy/Cowgirl party and it was great. you can go all out because it's the only one of the year (in our case since we only have 2 kids) and invite all family and friends. We held it at a local park, had 50+ guests, did everything picnic style, and kept the food to snacks, ice cream and cake. it was a lot of fun and not so hard on the budget, because you're only doing it once, remember? :)

[Krystyn]

Mine are 1 day apart..they will be 2 and 4 this year and they are doing a joint party. My 2 year old really don't know people, so we're just going to hang out, rent a jumpy have some decorate your own cupcakes and snacks and call ti a day.

[Alisha]

You can tell people not to get gifts, but you'll get some anyway... You may just have to get rid of some old stuff. That's what we try to do. We also have bank accounts for the kids and a couple aunts & uncles started giving checks instead, so that helps, too!

[marty]

Mine are 2 days apart, and my older got the shaft this year for his second birthday. We had cake and a balloon (yes, just one - he's easy to please) and sang to him. He seemed thoroughly pleased.

This January, for 3 and 1, I'm planning separate parties - just because it's a first birthday. After that though? Totally planning on joint for as long as I can get away with it!

[Sharon]

It sounds a little crazy but my family actually goes out of our way to have more birthday parties! My older 2 are 14 months apart and we celebrated this year with a combined BIG party for both in between their birthdays. We also had a small family celebration for each of them on their special day. That way I was able to avoid giving either of them the shaft. They loved the whole plan because they felt like they got 2 birthdays each, a small family party and a big friend party.

[megan p]

My oldest two are 12 months and 1 day apart. They will soon celebrate their 5th and 4th birthdays and we have always had joint parties for them. They have never complained about it. Maybe it's that they haven't realized that they could have seperate parties, or maybe it's because they like having them together. Either way, they both seem thoroughly happy with the joint party. Sometimes we even have two separate themese with one cake split in two and two different sets of decorations. I think that the guests like that they don't have to come to two different parties so close together.

[Molly]

Our youngest and the middle will be 2 years apart give or take a week or two (we obviously don't know which way that will go yet since #3 isn't arriving until March.) We're trying to figure out what in the world to do for birthdays this year (thinking an EARLY party for #2 at this point). I haven't even started thinking ahead to the future yet! Since our oldest is 14 months older than #2 I feel like we wont be able to get away with one birthday party for the youngest two when the oldest has just had her own party in January and they're just far enough apart that we can't do a joint party for the three of them so I guess we'll see what happens.