By Rachel Ostlie
Many live by the quote from Socrates: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I learned, from the Baby Buncher I respect the most, that “The less examined life is more worth living.
My Grandma passed away last summer, a week after I officially joined the babybunching ranks with the birth of my second child. But before that sad day, as I struggled through pregnancy plus baby, I would sometimes call her for advice. After all, she was the queen of Baby Bunchers – four in four years, and a herd of cows to milk every morning to top it off!
One long-distance conversation, I asked her how she ever managed. My mind was already swirling with the challenges of caring for two babies, making sure they had every advantage, making sure there was no jealousy, doing everything perfect (as I delude myself into trying to do in every aspect of my life).
Her reply was telling. “How do you manage with two babies at once?” I asked. She said, “Oh... you just do.” Which, from her mouth, meant: You do the best you can with what you have. You don't spend time worrying about the future, or agonizing over the past, which are two things she very well could've done with two barns that burnt down and a family on food stamps. Instead, you just live each day, and make it through that day.
I'm not advocating that one should never examine their lives. It is important to step back from the present, evaluate choices, and get a perspective. But for an over-thinker like myself, perhaps a little less examining results in a little better living. This is something my Grandma knew to be true, especially if that living involves two under two.
Rachel is a Baby Bunching mom of a 30-month-old girl and a 13-month-old boy who are already being mistaken for twins. She lives in the Chicago area.
I just stumbled upon your blog and, please forgive me, but it made me smile to see singleton moms comparing their toddler/infant combo to twins. As moms of multiples can attest, there is nothing like it.
Posted by: 3under2 | Jul 19, 2010 at 11:07 PM
Thanks Rachel for the great post. I really needed it today :)
Posted by: Amanda | Jul 20, 2010 at 12:42 PM
@3under2--I don't think the author was comparing her toddler/infant combo with twins. She was reporting that other people *mistake* her children for twins, even though they are not. As a mother of multiples, I try to be aware that some combinations/ages are even harder than twins and I have found that it is isolating and counter-productive to make singleton moms feel like they can never understand my challenges. Three under two is certainly HUGELY, VASTLY more difficult than my soon-to-be three under three household. Snaps to you, mom!!
Posted by: Amanda Too | Jul 20, 2010 at 02:54 PM