when the bunch gets easier

By Shanna, 3 Cute Kids

For the first several years of my parenting life, my family situation seemed much harder than my friends.  My daughter was only 15 months when my twin sons were born.  We were thrown right into the baby bunching world, and our life became a blur of diapers, formula, milk, and sleepless night.  I would glance with envy at friends whose children would reach the ripe old age of 4 before welcoming a sibling.  Or perhaps had an eight year old to help feed the baby or push the stroller.  I spent many months wishing that just one of my children would sleep though the night on a consistent basis, or was gone to school for a few hours a day.

As a baby buncher, we weren’t able to take advantage of some of the ‘perks’ of having more than one child.  We had to have three cribs and three car seats.  Because of the twins, we couldn’t make do with one bouncy seat and one highchair.  The gender fairy ensured that we couldn’t take advantage of hand-me-down clothing.   So much about life and our family situation seemed very hard in those first few years.

Now I will tell you the secret of moving from a baby bunch to a child bunch.  It becomes easier!  I glance at my friends now, and I can’t help but think we have it easier than most.  Our bunch enjoys the same activities- I don’t have to try and manage family time with a teenager who wants to go to a movie and a preschooler who wants to go to the park.  Because mine are close in age, they all enjoy the same types of activities, and we can move through their developmental stages all together.

Think about school. Except for 2 transition years, they will all be at the same school for their entire school career. I can be active with the PTA, volunteer in the classrooms, and be done.  I won’t have to worry about younger siblings not being allowed in the schools.  They all have similar homework (especially the twins). Sure, I have had three at home for 4 years, but once school age hits, they are all gone for several hours each day!  I won’t deny being a little happy about that!

When we go to a playground, they can watch out for each other.  It is a fact that a child playing alone is not as safe as two children playing together.  When they are in the backyard and I am at the computer… er, I mean, I am making dinner, I know they are looking out for each other.  When one does something slightly dangerous, I have two little tattletales who are happy to run in and report.  The same is true for when one falls and scrapes a knee or gets stuck in the tree and can’t get down.  If there was just one out there, I would be much more nervous and have to keep a much closer watch.  Sure, sometimes they get in trouble together, but it only takes a few moments of silence to set off the warning bells in my head!

We have been through the years of baby bunch, and we have certain routines down pat.  For baby bunchers, getting older means getting easier! I now feel a little sorry for my friends who are trying to juggle the activities of their middle schooler while desperately trying to maintain a sleep schedule for the toddler.  I’m enjoying this phase of child bunching more than I ever imagined.  Watching them become best friends and listening to them giggle at the same jokes (mostly involving poop) makes all the craziness of the baby phase worth it.  We are having fun, and just trying not to think about all 3 going to college at the same time!

Shanna is the mother of 3, 2 boys and a girl 15 months apart in age.  She is a full-time mom, part-time nurse, and adoption advocate.  She blogs about family life at 3 Cute Kids.

Comments

[kelly]

Love this! Good encouragement for when I'm feeling down about my bunch, and makes me feel slightly less crazy now that I'm considering adding another kid to the bunch. :)

[jean grow]

Absolutely the lift I needed. We have the same bunch, but backward, and are waiting for friday's ultrasound to make sure baby #4 is only #4 (and not #5, too!). I can't wait until they can play outside together, and all the daipering is done... yeah, I'm counting down the daiper years for the last baby already.

[erin]

What an uplifting article...just when I need it most!

[Polly]

Thank you thank you thank you!!!! We have a 3yr old and an almost 2yr old and 1 more due in a couple months and I was starting to think I had gone crazy wanting a 3rd so soon but this post reminded me why. It just gets easier!!!!! Thank you again.

[Andrea]

Thanks! I am pregnant with twins and my son will be about 17 months when they are born. I am happily terrifed but glad to hear it has its benefits. Of course I need to get through the first few years. Now if I could just find a stroller for all three of them... :)

[jean grow]

Andrea:
I found that with my twins, they rarely both wanted to hold still in the stroller at the same time, so probably a double stroller with one big kid and one twin, then a front pack for the kid that wants to be close to you. By the time the twins get too heavy for that, the big boy will be walking off/on and capable of hanging on in creative ways, or 'helping you' push the stroller. I get the jogging stollers that don't turn very easily, and one boy always wants his own safety strap along with the right to tilt it backwards and rock his brother. Also, the Kelty Kids basecamp backpack works well to take three kids to the park... I like that you can park a kid in it if you need to. Having control of all three when it is time to move quickly makes a big difference.

[SuperMama of 3 under 3]

get a quad stroller. it's a god send! truly worth the money. there's room for your "snack/drink" cooler in the fourth seat so your eldest and divy out the loot while you get a terrific core workout pushing them all. no need to run or diet when you take a quad stroller out on walks.