By Michelle Young, Trifecta
Last summer, as I fought my way through the never-ending neediness that accompanies a summer with toddlers, I decided I needed some intellectual stimulation. I’ve always known I wanted to go back to work, but with three boys four-years old and under I knew it would be a while before I had the time or the energy to pursue a second career. I decided returning to school would fulfill my need to exercise my mind while it would open doors for me in the future. That said there aren’t a lot of professions out there where “crafty mom” meets Master’s degree so I decided to interpret my creativity in a different way. I looked at all of the things I love about being crafty and all of the things I love about parenting and inevitably came up with a profession that encompassed both in one easy breezy package. I decided I would get my Master’s of Education in K through 8.
Once my husband and I made the decision it was all about locating the best school. There are tons of Master’s programs out there, but my requirements were specific. I had to find a school where I could do 90% of my course work online, I wanted the school to be competitive with other traditional Master’s programs, and the school had to be recognized by the Virginia board of Education. I also wanted the school I chose to be a brick and mortar school first, not second. After doing my research, contacting several schools, and talking directly with the recruitment office for Fairfax County public schools I discovered that Grand Canyon University was going to be my most efficient choice. The school had everything I needed. It is an actual school in Arizona that is over fifty years old, it required extensive practicum observation, it required student teaching, and it required FBI and state background clearance. Essentially, it follows Arizona regulations and applies those standards to all of its online programs. All things considered, GCU was going to provide me with the best education under the best circumstances.
I was ecstatic about my decision to return to school. I loved to idea of getting my degree and then having a usable skill that would give me a professional career after my job as “Mommy toting tots” was less demanding. I knew I couldn’t justify leaving my youngest in full-day daycare at this point, but maybe in two years I would feel differently. Also, the idea of having a state retirement and pension was extremely appealing. Having summers off wasn’t too shabby either. Although I hadn’t thought teaching was my “calling” before, I now felt that it might just be what I was meant to do all this time. So, without delay I started my courses.
In July I began my first two courses at GCU. I was terrified to write my first paper. Sure, I had been blogging and reading a ton since I left the workforce, but I had not had the opportunity to be critiqued on my writing in years. My husband, who is a self proclaimed writer and admittedly better at mechanics than I am, assured me that my writing would suffice. Before I had a chance to really read through my first courses syllabus I found myself in a tailspin of discussion boards and classroom chats. As an online student, a portion of your grade is determined by your participation and active engagement in guided discussions. My brain was literally swimming from all of the posts, material, trackbacks, references, and questions being fired in my direction from my classmates and instructors. To add insult to intellectual injury I was tasked with taking guardianship of my grandfather, who was recently diagnosed with dementia. I really wanted to quite, to just put my education on hold, but I knew I couldn’t live with myself if I stopped. I decided to keep going, even though I was overworked and completely stressed out.
By September I had finished two classes, completed the guardianship process, and managed to keep all of my children alive through the summer. I was mentally and physically exhausted, but I didn’t want to give up. I desperately wanted to have something to show for all of my hard work. I tightened up the reigns and continued on, convinced that things would get easier once school started and I had more free time.
I suppose I was in a fantasy world because things didn’t get easier. The graduate program I selected is very academic and had a lot of hands on requirements. Each class included 15 to 25 hours of practicum observation from until you begin your student teaching. That meant I needed to find child care for the boys above and beyond preschool that was sporadic and temporary. Since I wasn’t “working” this proved to be difficult and expensive. Most of us don’t want to rely on our girlfriend’s to take our kids for ten hours a day, not to mention that watching someone else’s baby bunching brood is not always “appealing." And there aren’t a lot of “babysitters” willing to take your kids on a whim during the day. On more than one occasion I had to ask multiple girlfriends to take one of the boys, which meant an additional hour drive drop off time tacked onto my overall time away from home. The practicum experience was part of the reason I chose this program, but it intensified the experience. I thought I had things under control until I started my practicum observations. All of the sudden, I found myself trying to figure out how to manage my workload again. It was frustrating and completely discouraging.
I decided to reevaluate my life. I had always been really involved with my girlfriends, I joined “moms clubs”, school boards, organized events, and served my community. I loved blogging, sewing, being creative, but with the addition of my graduate work, I just couldn’t continue to perform at super mommy speed. Something had to give! After assessing all of my commitments, I decided there were a few things I had been doing that were really unnecessary. I decided to only commit to doing things that fulfilled me and where I was appreciated. I backed off of my mom’s club commitments, I scaled back my social activities, and I reprioritized my “to do” list. Before I knew it my priorities had been defined and school seemed to fall effortlessly in place.
Before I knew it things were going swimmingly. I had sailed through my third semester and somehow managed to really enjoy the experience. I enjoyed my kids more, I felt relaxed, and I was sewing and blogging more than I had in a year! A few simple changes in my life seemed to make all the difference in the world.
With less than a year to go until I finish my Master’s degree, I’m thankful that I stuck with it. What I thought were sacrifices turned out to be positive lifestyle changes. I ended up not only being able to tackle my course load, but I also found a balance.
For those moms out there who think going back to school is too challenging I offer you a bit of mommy wisdom. It is challenging to juggle young children, a new intellectual endeavor, and all of your previous commitments, but if your goal is to do something truly for you then chances are going back to school or work is just one piece of the puzzle. If you stay determined and don’t give up you’ll probably find the balance in your life, too.
A few notes about going back to school with a Baby Bunching brood:
- Look for a degree program that is competitive and mimics full-time traditional setting programs.
- Make sure you’re school is accredited.
- If you chose to get your degree through an online program, try to find a school that has a physical campus. Employers are skewed towards brick and mortar schools.
- Contact Human Resources professionals in your desired line of work and make sure that they accept the credentials of the school you’re looking to attend.
- Most good schools will not let you “double up” on courses unless you get Dean’s approval. If the school you’re looking at takes flat rate tuition, but allows you to take as many courses as you like in a semester be wary. Even if the school is a good school, this is setting you the student up for failure.
Once you start your degree make sure you have a plan. Map out when you’ll post to discussion boards, when you will complete assignments, how you will fit in projects. This will help you to stay on top of the demands on your schedule.
I hope this article helps you find the balance among the chaos. Whether you’re going back to school or heading off to work, your personal goals are attainable if you stay steady and focused throughout the madness.
Michelle lives in Northern VIrginia with her three boys. She blogs at Trifecta.
Comments