baby bunching Q/A: getting the bunch to bed

A great (and always popular) question regarding sleep from Baby Buncher Alli. We've touched on many of these points before, but we're always happy to pass the info along again.

Q: How do you handle bedtime when you have one you can't leave alone due to mischief (2 year old) and one who is too little to just leave alone (9 months)!! I still can't figure it out, 9 months into it!

A: Bedtime can be a mad dash to the finish line after a long day of negotiating schedules. The clock can tick away slowly until 7 or 7:30 p.m. and you may find yourself counting the minutes until the entire clan is tucked into bed with vision of sugarplums in their heads.

A few weeks into your new Baby Bunching gig, as you dash downstairs to grab your daughter’s lovey and your baby starts to wail in the upstairs bouncy seat, you may return to find your oldest pouring the last remains of the soapy bath water on your baby’s head, you’ll wonder how you got into this mess in the first place. Bedtime can be a bit messy with bottles, pacifiers, lovies, blankets, books, bath, songs, drinks of water, diapers and the last effort attempt to make a statement for the day by someone. There are nights that someone in your house will have to go this route alone, it’s inevitable that someone is working late or traveling at some point, but for the most part if you can enlist your husband to take a very active role in bedtime, your sprint time to the end will go much smoother for everyone.

Here are a few things you need to remember.

1. First and MOST IMPORTANTLY, get the easiest one to bed first.If your toddler tends to call out a million times for one thing or another and your baby literally will sleep the minute he hits the mattress, then by all means get your baby to bed first. If baby needs 30 minutes of cuddle time prior to the final bottle/nursing session, then get your toddler to bed first. This way you'll only have the one left to manage. Do note, you might have to switch this around as kids grow. Toddler may be a breeze to get to bed today, but next week things can change. Be flexible. If you have both kids who are into trouble and can't be left alone, our go to is to stick baby in his crib for some nice down time with some toys while you get toddler to bed first. At least this way, you know that everyone is safe and usually out of trouble.

2. Stagger their bedtimes. There’s nothing worse at the end of a long day than having everyone meltdown the last 30 minutes before bed. That does not set the correct tone for your upcoming happy hour, right?! Shuffle bedtimes a bit by 15 to 30 minutes so you’re not having to do the last minute things for both kids at the same time.

3. Be firm about bedtime and shorten the routine. In the early Baby Bunching months, bedtime is not the forum for lackadaisical parenting. You have a busy day ahead of you tomorrow. Nighttime, at this stage in your kids’ life, can be unpredictable—waking up due to illness, teething, night terrors, bad dreams, etc—is very common and you need a break from it all as well. If bedtime for the last child is at 8 p.m. and at 9 p.m. you’re still battling someone to bed, you need to reassess somewhere and get your routine back on schedule.

For more great reads on bedtime and sleep, don't forget to check out all our sleep tips.

Comments

[Sierra]

We are pretty laid back parents, except when it comes to bed time aka the start of the few sane hours of the day.
We bathed the kids together, I had the baby in one of those chair things in the tub once he could sit up (b/f he could, I just bathed him in the am), or sitting on a mat in the tub next to the biggies. Then I would get them all in PJs/teeth brushed. Next, I would nurse the baby while reading a story for the biggies, say prayers and put them to bed. Then baby into his crib. At this point, I have my 1 1/2 year old and 3 year old in one room and the newborn in another.

We now have four kids (7, 5, 4 and 8 mos) and I normally get the baby down while the big kids are brushing their teeth, and then do stories, etc with them after she is asleep.

[Alli H]

Thank you so much for the response! This is very helpful advice. Five to six days a week I'm on my own for bedtime (my husband works mainly evenings), and the one thing that I have managed to nail down is rule 1: put the easier one down first. I will work on the rest, and I'll let you know if I learn any new tricks while I'm at it!