the triumphant return to 'popping in'

While the first two years of Baby Bunching are the most difficult and it DOES get easier, my husband and I have found that in some ways we are emotionally scarred forever by the experience.  For me, one of those scars is my reluctance to run "quick" errands with my children.

Some of my standout memories from my early Bunching days is what a pain in the ass it was to go anywhere.  Big was just 17 months old and while he was walking, he was walking neither well, fast, nor in the direction I wanted him to.  This meant that every time I went somewhere, I would make a minimum of 5 trips to the car - one to carry him, one to carry his brother in the infant seat, one to haul our wheels/stroller of choice for that day to the trunk, and one to dump our diaper bag with the bare necessities (still roughly the size of a pack one would carry to climb Mt. Everest).  Then I would make a final trip with the luxuries such as my purse and coffee, taking a deep breath and 60 seconds to compose myself before walking out of my silent home and entering the chaos that was the car.

Once we arrived at our destination, I would repeat the routine in reverse. Between the rigmarole of getting everyone in and out and the craziness that typically transpired once we were actually in the store, I was conditioned to avoid quick errands with my children at any costs.  As they got older, it got easier in some ways (some people could walk) but harder in others (their walking path of choice frequently led directly to the street/parking lot).  Having two kids in car seats gave me a new appreciation for how convenient the easily tote-able infant bucket seat was.  It was such a hassle to get everyone settled that if we were gonna go in somewhere, we were staying awhile.

I still have an aversion to quick errands.  Even though the Bigs (and even the Caboose) now walk, I still envision tangled car seat straps and tears, dawdling on the way to the door of the store, and the occasional mild heart attack generated by a parking lot sprinter.  It's not even worth it to me to make that quick run in to the store to get that bottle of wine and pint of ice cream I so desperately need.

Earlier today, my hand was forced. Responsible for co-hosting a baby shower and needing to pick up the dessert without a spare moment without kids before the shower, I dragged the two Littles to the bakery to "run in" and pick it up.  To my surprise, it wasn't that bad.  The Bigs are both in boosters and can buckle themselves, which is HUGE.  They can open and close the sliding door themselves and are even willing to help me carry stuff sometimes.  For the most part, they stick close to me instead of running like heathens through the parking lot.  The Caboose is much more compliant that they were at his age, so he is mostly content just to walk holding my hand and be buckled back into the seat when we're done.  It did help that I was short one kid, but still - I realized that the past several quick errands haven't been that bad either.

Could it be that after 6 years, I've made my triumphant return to being able to dash into the store for a gallon of milk to go with my wine?

Comments

[jean grow]

My husband and I just celebrated the twins' 3rd birthday, and looked back on the past few years... only to realize that the memories were too fresh and painful. I think he has your reluctance to drag any more than one kid to the store, unless they are lulled into the jogging-stroller-coma that makes children forget they can stand up and create havoc!

My challenge lies more in resistance to moving in, decorating, trying to make our house more than a shell that supports the bunch. It sure doesn't do much to support my husband, who has become both independent (washing all his uniforms) and more supportive than I ever thought he would happily do (he makes all the meals that aren't breakfast, and does much of the shopping). Meanwhile, all it takes for me to lose hope on the housekeeping is one 20 minute nap that allows the kids to rip up my collection of photos of my sister. It makes me want to keep anything worth looking at locked up in the garage in those packing boxes for another four or so years! We've both gained the humility to have people over anyway (at least the wives will feel better about their own housekeeping) and to keep living like college students, using craigslist couches and free rocking chairs, mostly so that we can't be angry about what gets destroyed. Patience has no dollar value, that's for sure.

In another 2 weeks, our little one will turn One, and by then we'll know if the next child will be a singleton or another set of twins. The godparents have already started praying that we can stop our bunch at four instead of jumping straight to five. I'm a little frightened (the statistics run about 1:7 that I'll conceive twins, due to my height) but between the idea that this is our last pregnancy, and that our bunch will be near enough in age to be good company to each other, I am sure we'll survive. What I'm not sure about, is if I will ever get enough sleep to feel intelligent again. I used to be one of the smart-yet-slow-on-the-uptake kind of women, but now it takes me a lot longer, and my ideas seem much less original. Anyone else been there and can offer hope?

[jean grow]

I'd also happily accept prayers that the next one is a girl! The twins are boys, and their little sister could use a little sister herself, if God allows it.

[Renee]

oh i totally agree with this! my (cringe) sister-in-law, is constantly making underhanded comments about how i need "backup" to go to the grocery store with my bunch (1, 3 & 4)(occasionally my mom meets me there and we walk around together). meanwhile her kids are almost teenagers and are all 4 years apart, so what does she know about it, right? when you bunch, there is no such thing as just "popping in" to a store for a few things. even as well behaved as my older two are, it still doesnt remove the ever-present issue of my missing third arm. lol.

[jenni]

cheers to that!

[Sara]

Boy and I thought there was something wrong with me! I cringe at the idea of taking my 2 boys (13 months apart) anywhere alone. I'll skip going anywhere if it means I have to take them. I was thinking that I was just a bad mom for not having it all together. I'm glad to know it gets better!

[Amanda]

I too cringe when I think about taking my two (11 months apart) out alone. In fact, we sold my car because since my youngest was born 6 months ago, I don't drive anywhere. It is a relief to know that it will get better someday...even if it is in 5 years.