I've posted before that I often wonder if I've done my kids a disservice by having a flock of them right in a row (3 in 4 1/2 years). It just seems that there is NEVER enough of me to go around. The weird thing is that yes, while it was hard Bunching the first two, I felt capable of meeting needs even if I was a little frazzled at times. But as I added a third child and the needs of the other two have grown more complex as they age (it's not just about eat/sleep/poop anymore!), I feel like I'm shortchanging one of the three of them every time I turn around.
A great example is Middle, who has been begging to have the training wheels taken off his bike for weeks. When his older brother was 4 1/2, we spent several afternoons on the driveway, coaching and cheering him on with the entire family. Now that Middle is 4 1/2, his older brother Big (a future X gamer) is hell on wheels and zips up and down the driveway cutting off cyclists, scooterists, and innocent pedestrians alike. It is a miracle he hasn't knocked a tooth out, broken an arm, or split a head open - his own or someone else's. Younger brother the Caboose is in the nightmare toddler stage where he wants to sprint for either the street or the nearest high cliff at any chance he gets with no regard for safety. As you can imagine, we have a hard time getting motivated for the prospect of 19 false starts up and down the driveway and the resulting tears that would surely follow from two-wheeling lessons for Middle.
Fortunately for him, he's nothing if not persistent and he finally wore down persuaded his Dad, who removed the training wheels on Sunday. Bracing ourselves for lots of falls and tears, we let him rip. And then stood there with our jaws open as he tore down the driveway on two wheels on the first try! Damned if the kid wasn't ready to do it on his own!
And this isn't the only time this has happened. Big and I had endless potty training fights until Middle came along and I dropped it because I was too busy. One day when he was about 3 1/2, he walked into the bathroom and peed in the toilet and never had an accident in his pants. Similarly, I was so busy corralling 3 kids at the dinner table that it never occurred to me to hand the Caboose a spoon to feed himself. Until he grabbed a fork off my plate one day right around his first birthday and started eating with it like he'd been using it his whole life.
Now that I've written this, I plan to bookmark it so that I can revisit it anytime I feel guilt creeping in that I'm not constantly coaching one of my kids in some area of skill development. Sometimes, a little self-sufficiency and genuine readiness can carry a kid a lot further than helicopter parenting can.
He he... I love this post. In the last 2 months our older daughter has taught our younger how to do several baby signs, dance the "Quack Quack" Wiggles Dance, put together the big Mega Blocks, pat the dog, growl like a tiger, say several words, point out several body parts and identify a booger all at a younger age than she did those things herself. (We could have lived without that last one.)
Posted by: Molly | Apr 27, 2010 at 02:16 PM
I totally agree - I think the mommy guilt is pervasive and finds an outlet whether you have 3 that are all 5 years apart, or 3 in 3 years! The fact is that the siblings WILL teach themselves and each other things that may fall to the wayside due to demands on mommy. I think it's great!! :)
Posted by: Amanda | Apr 27, 2010 at 02:36 PM
The same potty training thing (and even reading and others) has happened with us with Josie. The later kids may have gotten a little shortchanged on *our* attention, but that doesn't mean they aren't getting attention and learning from their older siblings.
Posted by: Alecia | Apr 27, 2010 at 09:51 PM