baby bunching Q/A: settling big baby for little baby's nap

This question came from Maura on our Facebook page.

Q: Any suggestions what to do with big baby (29 months) while trying to put little baby (10 months) down for her nap? I tried setting him up with coloring in another room this morning, but he wants to be where the action (aka mommy) is. He creates such a distraction that it's really hard to get her to settle down.

A: We're assuming your daughter is on 2-nap schedule at this point. So this means twice a day you're battling one for the nap and the other to leave the room. Yuck! This can be such a challenge, especially when your older one has outgrown the crib. The trick is to get your toddler involved in something that is so fun he won't want to stop doing what he's doing while you dash to get baby down for a nap. And at 2 1/2 we totally get that your list of options to keep him busy, alone (maybe even on another floor of your home) is limited. We recommend you plan ahead as best you can with a quick bag o' tricks.

If you're only talking about 10-20 minutes to get baby fed and settled, here are a few ideas:

• Set him up with some fun song CDs or books on CD in another room.
• Feed him a snack that you know will take a while to eat. 
• Give him a "project" like a spray bottle of water and have him clean your bath or shower. 
• A short DVD. (Yes, we know you're not technically supposed to do this, but ..... )  
• Puzzles that you know he can do himself might give you some extra time.
• A photo album can keep kids busy for a while.
• Still in a crib? Drop him off there on your way to baby's room with a crib full of fun toys.
• Computer, anyone? Perhaps a bite of the forbidden fruit at 2 is early, but hey, we do what we can, right?

If your oldest is still taking a nap in the afternoon, try getting him settled first and into his room so you can put baby down. If he's not napping, this is the perfect time to institute "quiet time" for him. We are BIG believers in teaching our kids individual play. Kids can and should be able to spend an hour of time in their room, by themselves, reading/playing/listening to music quietly.

Fellow Baby Bunchers, please give us a shout and let us know what works/worked for you.

Comments

[mrs.notouching]

My goodness I didn't even think about this one yet! (baby#2 due in August)... so thank you - I am sure this will be tremendously helpful very soon :-)

[ALD]

I didn't really want my toddler watching any tv...until baby #2 came along. :). I don't know what I would do without Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in the morning. My babies are 13.5 months apart and were both very colicky. I say that sometimes you have to break some rules to get through those early days.

[Nellie]

my kids watch limited TV...but as your learning the ropes of two that are bunched (ok, for the first year), DVR'd shows it is! i wouldn't have survived with out it and my kids are no worse for the wear. no one's ever died from TV and my kids don't even ask for it now. oh, and babywearing. my second napped in a mei tai daily...until close to one. not ideal, but nothing usually is!

[kelly]

I have a 2 1/2 yo and an 11 month old, so I deal w/ this twice a day as well. In the morning, I typically turn on PBS for him, Super Why is his fave. In the afternoon, I've been trying to get him put down first, but it doesn't always happen if baby is super tired. When that happens, I just have him go potty and then go in his room where he gets to read books by himself (he thinks this is a big treat) until I get baby put down. There are days when he comes and wants to peak in at us, but he's pretty good about being quiet and staying in his room.

Is there somewhere you can put up a gate to keep in contained in one part of the house? I would try that. Does he still fit in a high chair? You could strap him into a high chair w/ some playdoh!

Good luck, there is nothing more frustrating than having your little baby almost asleep when your toddler comes barging in and wakes her up!

[jenni]

TV is your best friend. Really.

[Lindsey]

I have my big boy (23 months) accompany me to his sister's (12 months) room when it's time for nap. I give him little tasks like finding missing pacis or shutting the door. The life saver for us is that both of our children put themselves to sleep. So basically we all go through the naptime routine together (turning on the noise maker, pulling the blinds, hugging dolly, kisses, saying "night night") then I leave with big brother. Baby sister goes to sleep on her own. I've done this since they were tiny, moreso out of necessity than anything else.

[Natasha]

I always used to look on time when the baby was napping as special time for my toddler and I to spend together. This would usually include quiet activities reading books, doing puzzles, snuggling up to a favourite TV programme or - for a series of months, actually - role playing Sleeping Beauty. I have such fond memories of this, including wrapping gifts together in the run-up Christmas. The fact that we had some Mummy-Sophie time planned was always a big incentive for her to sit and play quietly by herself while she waited for me to settle the baby for her nap - it might work for others too.

[Miranda]

My kids don't put themselves to sleep on their own. My son 30 months can either watch a short DVD, or I let him set up a marble game that is only EVER played when 1 yr baby is asleep. Or a quick spin in the car would put baby down easily. This is also applicable for going solo at bedtime which is always my worst nightmare.

My son still naps most days and I take them both for a drive at his nap time, or he watches a DVD or music and falls asleep on the couch, perfect as I have both kids in sight. He would prefer a story in his bed but baby won't allow it.

When baby was smaller I would change and nurse her in the living room while my son was there with toys. I would put on the same music and call it sleeping music and my son knew he had to be quiet and baby got so programed that she would fall asleep just hearing the same thing. Everyday. When she was nodding off I would run her up to her bed.

Music, DVDs, and car drives are how I still get through the naps. This is the worst part about bunching, and non bunchers have no idea.

[mandie]

This is the WORST part of my day with my two babies (son is 19 months, daughter is 2 months). My son is too young to understand "wait quietly and you'll get some special time with mommy while baby sleeps" and also too young to be trusted out of my sight for long. Even his favorite DVDs won't keep him distracted - he wants to be with his mommy and baby sister. I've been confining him to his room with a gate at his door, which only leads to a whole lot of screaming. :( I'm hoping as time goes on he'll start to understand that 10 minutes alone in his room (with toys and books and a sippy cup!) is actually fun ... not his mommy trying to ruin his LIFE.

Some good suggestions here (may try the high chair/Play-dough thing tomorrow) and hope to see more ideas added!

[WaltonValarie27]

I will recommend not to wait until you get enough money to buy all you need! You should take the home loans or just consolidation loans and feel yourself fine

[Christina M]

I got mine on the same nap schedule as soon as my youngest could take it. They are 15 months apart and he went to one nap a day WAY before his older brother did. Prior to that, playdough while in his booster, Little Einsteins, dropping him off in his room with some favorite books and/or toys are some of the things I've done. I did not ever try the snack idea for fear of choking. But life got a lot easier when they started napping together.