Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

tastebudding: good food, happy mealtime

Food is a huge part of the parenting gig. We all start out with the best intentions for meal preparations, but Baby Bunching can quickly put a crimp into your wholesome food plan. New baby comes along and all attempts at homemade baby food, always sitting down as a family, and forcing toddler to eat food served come to a screeching halt.

During your many years of Baby Bunching, mealtime will develop into many different scenes. Our philosophy here is to never get started playing short-order cook (you will totally thank us for this later), and start good habits with your kids now--no matter how much it sucks. This is so when they are five they will at least try green beans and not be rude at friends' houses about the type of bread they will/will not eat.

The road to a stressless mealtime can be seem like an uphill battle most days. Getting your kids to sit down, behave at the table, try one food 15 bagillion times over and over, chew with their mouths closed and not talk about potty at the table are all part of challenge. Before even getting to the behavior battles, you have to get them to actually eat the food. Finding good meals that everyone in your family can enjoy is many parents #1 issue because if the food doesn't please, the game becomes a stalemate.

Tastebudding is a new site started by a group of parents, one is our former college roommate, who are working to find a quick, easy solution for parents to find kid-friendly food. The tastebudding team knows how important it is for us to prepare healthy food for our kids. (Yes, they're talking beyond pizza and chicken nuggets, although you'll find a few of those homemade recipes there as well.) The best part kid-friendly recipes are the ones that come from other parents who have tested them on the toughest critics. Tastebudding overs more than just searchable recipes.

Think Allrecipe.com for kid-friendly food + community where parents can also connect and discuss dinnertime manners, school lunch planning or when to start solid foods. The best part is when you submit your recipes you can add commentary on what works best or doesn't. And those who try the recipe can offer up additional suggestions. They've essentially brought the idea of a cooking club to the web.

Pop on over to tastebudding.com and let us know what looks yummy for dinner tonight.

the triumphant return to 'popping in'

While the first two years of Baby Bunching are the most difficult and it DOES get easier, my husband and I have found that in some ways we are emotionally scarred forever by the experience.  For me, one of those scars is my reluctance to run "quick" errands with my children.

Some of my standout memories from my early Bunching days is what a pain in the ass it was to go anywhere.  Big was just 17 months old and while he was walking, he was walking neither well, fast, nor in the direction I wanted him to.  This meant that every time I went somewhere, I would make a minimum of 5 trips to the car - one to carry him, one to carry his brother in the infant seat, one to haul our wheels/stroller of choice for that day to the trunk, and one to dump our diaper bag with the bare necessities (still roughly the size of a pack one would carry to climb Mt. Everest).  Then I would make a final trip with the luxuries such as my purse and coffee, taking a deep breath and 60 seconds to compose myself before walking out of my silent home and entering the chaos that was the car.

Once we arrived at our destination, I would repeat the routine in reverse. Between the rigmarole of getting everyone in and out and the craziness that typically transpired once we were actually in the store, I was conditioned to avoid quick errands with my children at any costs.  As they got older, it got easier in some ways (some people could walk) but harder in others (their walking path of choice frequently led directly to the street/parking lot).  Having two kids in car seats gave me a new appreciation for how convenient the easily tote-able infant bucket seat was.  It was such a hassle to get everyone settled that if we were gonna go in somewhere, we were staying awhile.

I still have an aversion to quick errands.  Even though the Bigs (and even the Caboose) now walk, I still envision tangled car seat straps and tears, dawdling on the way to the door of the store, and the occasional mild heart attack generated by a parking lot sprinter.  It's not even worth it to me to make that quick run in to the store to get that bottle of wine and pint of ice cream I so desperately need.

Earlier today, my hand was forced. Responsible for co-hosting a baby shower and needing to pick up the dessert without a spare moment without kids before the shower, I dragged the two Littles to the bakery to "run in" and pick it up.  To my surprise, it wasn't that bad.  The Bigs are both in boosters and can buckle themselves, which is HUGE.  They can open and close the sliding door themselves and are even willing to help me carry stuff sometimes.  For the most part, they stick close to me instead of running like heathens through the parking lot.  The Caboose is much more compliant that they were at his age, so he is mostly content just to walk holding my hand and be buckled back into the seat when we're done.  It did help that I was short one kid, but still - I realized that the past several quick errands haven't been that bad either.

Could it be that after 6 years, I've made my triumphant return to being able to dash into the store for a gallon of milk to go with my wine?

baby bunching Q/A: playing favorites

Loved this question from Michelle on Facebook.

Q: My girls are 2 1/2 and 1 year, about 20 months apart. My 1 yr old is adorable and my 2 1/2 yr old is, well, 2. She constantly pushes, hits, takes toys from or tries to pick up her little sister. How do I show that I love them equally when I'm constantly on my 2 yr old's case? I feel like I'm playing... favorites because she's an incredibly difficult 2 yr old, and my 1 yr old is so adorable and easy.

A: Not to worry because in another year your adorable and easy one-year old will become the beastly two-year old and your older child will find ways to work the charm to get what she wants. On any given day one kid can be the fav and the other is....well, the punky one. Let it go and realize it's OK to play favs sometimes.

We will let you in on a secret. Being two-and-a-half is hard! Linda remembers her Baby Buncher neighbor swearing it was the hardest age and once they hit three it was much easier. And it was. Right around that time Baby #2 will be full-fledge toddler and into everything in sight. Then you'll have a new favorite for a day or two.  

We continually try as parents to make things fair--the number of Christmas presents per child, the amount of milk in a cup, choosing a story to read or who gets the last meatball (that would be you!). In fact, we make ourselves nutso trying to make things even with our Bunch as best we can. It doesn't matter how hard you try, you will get it wrong! Someone will want the yellow cup one day instead of their usual favorite pink cup and make some horrible comment about how you're the meanest mommy in all the land. Then you'll send them to their room for the rude comment and in the interim they'll somehow turn the little one on you.

As a side note, if you're looking for advice on helping your older child with toys, here is a tip we received from Baby Bunching Tara (mother to 4 kids under 5 at one point.)  If the older child wants a toy from the baby, teach the older child that he/she has to bring another toy to trade with the baby. The baby early on doesn't care what toy he/she has.  The older child doesn't mind the "trade" b/c he just wants the toy.  This teaches the older child that he just can't grab from the baby but he doesn't learn to resent the child for being scolded for grabbing a toy.  There will come a time where the baby cares but this works really well in the beginning. 

baby bunching benefit: if you wait long enough, they will teach themselves

I've posted before that I often wonder if I've done my kids a disservice by having a flock of them right in a row (3 in 4 1/2 years). It just seems that there is NEVER enough of me to go around. The weird thing is that yes, while it was hard Bunching the first two, I felt capable of meeting needs even if I was a little frazzled at times.  But as I added a third child and the needs of the other two have grown more complex as they age (it's not just about eat/sleep/poop anymore!), I feel like I'm shortchanging one of the three of them every time I turn around.

A great example is Middle, who has been begging to have the training wheels taken off his bike for weeks.  When his older brother was 4 1/2, we spent several afternoons on the driveway, coaching and cheering him on with the entire family.  Now that Middle is 4 1/2, his older brother Big (a future X gamer) is hell on wheels and zips up and down the driveway cutting off cyclists, scooterists, and innocent pedestrians alike.  It is a miracle he hasn't knocked a tooth out, broken an arm, or split a head open - his own or someone else's.  Younger brother the Caboose is in the nightmare toddler stage where he wants to sprint for either the street or the nearest high cliff at any chance he gets with no regard for safety. As you can imagine, we have a hard time getting motivated for the prospect of 19 false starts up and down the driveway and the resulting tears that would surely follow from two-wheeling lessons for Middle.

Fortunately for him, he's nothing if not persistent and he finally wore down persuaded his Dad, who removed the training wheels on Sunday. Bracing ourselves for lots of falls and tears, we let him rip.  And then stood there with our jaws open as he tore down the driveway on two wheels on the first try! Damned if the kid wasn't ready to do it on his own!

And this isn't the only time this has happened.  Big and I had endless potty training fights until Middle came along and I dropped it because I was too busy.  One day when he was about 3 1/2, he walked into the bathroom and peed in the toilet and never had an accident in his pants.  Similarly, I was so busy corralling 3 kids at the dinner table that it never occurred to me to hand the Caboose a spoon to feed himself.  Until he grabbed a fork off my plate one day right around his first birthday and started eating with it like he'd been using it his whole life.

Now that I've written this, I plan to bookmark it so that I can revisit it anytime I feel guilt creeping in that I'm not constantly coaching one of my kids in some area of skill development. Sometimes, a little self-sufficiency and genuine readiness can carry a kid a lot further than helicopter parenting can.

saving bunches for my bunch

By Kim Wuenschel, Savings in Spartanberg

Last year was quite a year for my family. You can probably relate to my story... In February we found out we were pregnant - and our son had just turned 6 months old. I freaked out. And that only got worse over the next 9 months.

To add to that stress, in April, my husband’s employer had to cut his pay. In June, a bigger pay cut. Bigger still in August! And the threat of a 4th loomed over our heads in September. That, combined with the new home we’d just bought, a baby on the way, a super high insurance deductible, and knowing that I’d be leaving my part-time job when the baby came, left us stressed. To say the least. I had to find a way (and time) to save money – some how. Or we were going under.

So I started to take couponing seriously. Who know you could save so much with coupons?!?! I now average $20 for a cart FULL of groceries. It’s not uncommon for me to leave the grocery store, with 10-15 bags of groceries, having spent less than $5! And all the grocery savings led to finding savings in all areas of our family life. Even more insane – I manage to have to time to do it all with 2 under 18 months!

Here are my top 10 ways I’ve saved a couple THOUSAND dollars in the last 6 months!

1. Buy your diapers online. Diapers.com has an incredible deal for 1st time shoppers. Order a case of diapers and 1-2 jumbo packs, make sure your total is at least $49 (I get 1 case of Luvs & 2 jumbo Luvs for right at $49). At check-out, enter in the promo code “FREE-$10." That will take $10 off your order. Plus you’ll get free 2-day shipping. PLUS, as a first-time shopper you can request a $14.97 rebate instead of the free magazine. Fill out the rebate form. You’ll end up getting up to 364 diapers (how many depends on the size) for just $25. Then get your husband, mother-in-law, grandma, babysitter, etc, to all do the same for you! 

2. Save on Diapers in the stores. Walgreens & CVS constantly have diapers on sale. And they often offer coupons that are worth cash in their store for buying diapers – Walgreens calls them Register Rewards. CVS calls them Extra Care Bucks. Watch for their sales, use a Walgreens coupon (ask the Pharmacist for a coupon book!) and a coupon you got from being on Pampers or Huggies mailing list. Or one from coupon.com. You can “stack” a store coupon on a manufacturer coupon for the same pack of diapers! Don’t forget to use a $/$$ coupon, too! There’s a $5/$25 coupon for Rite Aid at Redplum.com right now and CVS will honor it! I save lots on diapers at the drugstore when I combine all those coupons! Also – did you know that if you stock up on one size and your child out grows it before you open the package, you can return it to Babies R Us for a store credit?? Even if you didn’t buy it at that store! 

3. Get paid to shop online. Seriously! Use Ebates or ShopAtHome every time you buy something online – like the diapers at diapers.com. They’ll refund you a certain percent of your purchase. For instance… go to Ebates, click on Old Navy – and they’ll send you to Old Navy’s website (while tracking what you spend). Buy some great-looking, cheap kids clothes and then Ebates will refund you 10% of that order! Plus they give you $5 just for signing up. You only need to reach $20 before they mail you out a check. Each store has a different cash back percentage, anywhere from 1-30%. I saved bundles over Christmas! 

4. Get paid to search the web! I’m not pulling your leg! In 6 weeks, I’ve made $20 worth of gift cards to Amazon. For doing nothing more than I normally do. Searching the web. $5 more and I’ll get free shipping for some baby clothes! Or maybe I’ll splurge on myself ;-) How? It’s called Swagbucks! Randomly they’ll award you “swagbucks” for searching the internet. Then you turn around and spend those bucks on any one of hundreds of items. My fav? $5 Amazon gift cards cost 45 swagbucks. I’ll get that many in just 1-2 weeks!

5. Shop around for auto insurance. We thought we had good rates last year before I decided to shop around and see. I was surprised when a national company quoted us $500 less than we were paying! So we switched!! Even though it’s only been a year, I priced checked around again the other day. And switching carriers again, we’re going to save ANOTHER $170! No time to call a dozen different agents?? Me neither! I used a site like 2Insure4Less. It took me about 7 minutes to fill in all the information. And they sent it all securely to 7 or 8 different nationally known companies. Then the local agents called or emailed me their quotes. I love things that save so much time and money like this!

6. Use coupons. YES it really is worth the time to clip them. On average, I spend 2 hours a week planning my grocery shopping trip. And I use $60-$90 worth of COUPONS! Use sites like coupons.com. Even if you just use a few coupons per trip, you’ll save money. 

7. Buy coupons on Ebay. Did you know that people sell coupons for diapers, formula, etc, on Ebay? Well… technically it’s illegal. But they’ll gladly sell you an envelope that just happens to be full of coupons for $5… $7….$10 off baby stuff! For just pennies! Don’t just look for baby stuff. The other day I bought 10 All Detergent coupons for $1.99… I used them at Target and got 10 things of All for just $6.50 total!! Don’t clip and search for coupons… too time consuming. Look on e-bay! Be sure to go to Ebay through Ebates or ShopAtHome in order to get a percentage back, too.

8. Sell coupons on Ebay. Do you get all those formula coupons and free samples in the mail, too?? Even if your kids are out of that stage?? Sell them on Ebay. I sold 7 coupons for Similac on Ebay the other day… made $17! And I got the coupons free in the mail. Woo hoo.  

9. Maximize your coupons. The best way to make the most out of your coupons is to use them when the product is on sale. But that’s a lot of planning… I know! So CHEAT! See the next item for how… 

10. Let a blogger do your planning for you. Head over to Be Centsable and click on “Grocery Store Deals”. Find your state, then the store you shop at. And you’ll see links to websites that share the deals from your store. Each week the websites post the sale ads along with direct links on where to find coupons that match the sales. You can get name brand products for FREE every week, or just pennies on the dollar. And the best part is, the website you’re on does all the work for you. No planning needed! MAJOR time saver!  I’ve more than cut my grocery budget in half using this method! In fact, if you follow the blogger who writes about your store’s deals & coupons, she’ll probably let you in all sorts of other deals online, too. 

I hope these ideas have helped give you some new and creative ways to save money – and to do it without sacrificing the little “me time” you have when your bunch is napping or happily playing on their own. Our time is so precious, but it really can be easy to save big money with a little time.

Kim is a money-saving-tips blogger at Savings in Spartanberg.

baby bunching bests

We haven't run these in a while, but we had a few come up over the past weeks. Enjoy.

Kids starting school soon? Baby Buncher Ticia(FIRL) sent this to Linda. A cute compilation about School Daze.

Katie at How We Roll has a great post about getting back into running after Baby #2.

Mrs. Notouching at Diaper Monologues has moved into her new place while she sets up for Baby #2. In case you haven't figured it out from our blog. We hate moving.

Mandie at Bringing Up Bug & Bee had a post about her great Monday which included a fabulous "2U2" playdate. You rocked that day, Mandie!  

Looking for a great Mother's Day gift at a decent price? Just ordered this last week from Cozy Blue, after seeing it on Cool Mom Picks, for a gift and when it arrived, I was delighted. Great gift. Great price. One of a kind. Perfect for Baby Bunching moms who have little time to shop.

cautionary tale: career repercussions of baby bunching

READERS: What are your thoughts on this?

We received this note from one of our readers, and she asked us to share with you. In fact the very one who asked this question back in November. Here is an update on her situation:

I am now 7 months pregnant and got sacked yesterday for no cause! HR even said there was no cause and the manager who fired me had been writing me praise filled emails for my work (I was working 80 – 100 hr weeks on an important project, while pregnant and caring for my 1 year old.) I believe I was fired for being pregnant. I was tipped off a few weeks ago that the employer had hired someone to replace me. Under Canadian law, they need to hold your job for you while you're on mat leave for up to 1 year. So they probably didn’t want to hold it for me. My employer is a major publicly listed company. I am currently reviewing my legal options.
 
Yesterday was really painful…I’m sitting there- with my stomach out to HERE (I’m 7 mos pregnant but look 9!) being fired by a man who only a month ago had praised my hard work and skills…then being told to pack up my desk, give back my computer and be outta there in an hour…after 3 years of loyal employment. As he is leading me out the door…examples of my work (advertising posters I made for the company) are lining the entrance of the main hallway at the office.
 
I know your blog is mom friendly and light hearted…and I love the advice, recipes, etc. But I just wanted to tune the readers in to the career repercussions of baby bunching… Being pregnant with #1…then coming back to work pregnant with #2 can be a career crippler. And I am living proof. I am sure I’ll move onto to bigger better things… But this sure sucks right now… How am I supposed to look for another job or go to interviews…with my belly looking like I am about to pop. And now I also have to deal with the financial, emotional stress and hit to my self esteem for the rest of the pregnancy.
 
Please share this as a cautionary tale…  
Career Mom of Soon to Be 2
(My DD is 16 mos… Baby #2 due June 7).

baby bunching Q/A: settling big baby for little baby's nap

This question came from Maura on our Facebook page.

Q: Any suggestions what to do with big baby (29 months) while trying to put little baby (10 months) down for her nap? I tried setting him up with coloring in another room this morning, but he wants to be where the action (aka mommy) is. He creates such a distraction that it's really hard to get her to settle down.

A: We're assuming your daughter is on 2-nap schedule at this point. So this means twice a day you're battling one for the nap and the other to leave the room. Yuck! This can be such a challenge, especially when your older one has outgrown the crib. The trick is to get your toddler involved in something that is so fun he won't want to stop doing what he's doing while you dash to get baby down for a nap. And at 2 1/2 we totally get that your list of options to keep him busy, alone (maybe even on another floor of your home) is limited. We recommend you plan ahead as best you can with a quick bag o' tricks.

If you're only talking about 10-20 minutes to get baby fed and settled, here are a few ideas:

• Set him up with some fun song CDs or books on CD in another room.
• Feed him a snack that you know will take a while to eat. 
• Give him a "project" like a spray bottle of water and have him clean your bath or shower. 
• A short DVD. (Yes, we know you're not technically supposed to do this, but ..... )  
• Puzzles that you know he can do himself might give you some extra time.
• A photo album can keep kids busy for a while.
• Still in a crib? Drop him off there on your way to baby's room with a crib full of fun toys.
• Computer, anyone? Perhaps a bite of the forbidden fruit at 2 is early, but hey, we do what we can, right?

If your oldest is still taking a nap in the afternoon, try getting him settled first and into his room so you can put baby down. If he's not napping, this is the perfect time to institute "quiet time" for him. We are BIG believers in teaching our kids individual play. Kids can and should be able to spend an hour of time in their room, by themselves, reading/playing/listening to music quietly.

Fellow Baby Bunchers, please give us a shout and let us know what works/worked for you.

instant network of the twibling's friends

My neighbor threw a rockin' good birthday party for her six-year old daughter this weekend. (Think Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift look-alikes.)  Ironically the party was for one of my son's classmates, but it was my daughter (four and a half) who was invited because it was a "girl only" party. Because she's only 16 months behind my son the three of them all play together. And besides the fact that he could hear them all playing in the yard, he didn't seem to mind missing this makeup-laden event.

Invite for my otherchild? This was a benefit to Baby Bunching that I never expected. The closeness in age of my kids can make for instant playdates. (Note: this does not always apply and sometimes could have the adverse effect.) I wasn't sure how this would go over with my daughter since she would be one of the youngest at the party. But luckily since kindergarten now spans from young 5s to almost 7 it didn't seem to be a problem.

She walked in a little timid an unsure--like any other kid for any other birthday party. She was probably a bit behind the preteen rock star songs they were singing to, but she held her own but doing varying degrees of acrobatic like dance moves to woo the big girls.

Today when we attended my son's school for a presentation, my daughter was greeted with hugs by all the girls from the party. Most had no idea she was the big kid's sister. She was their new friend Anna, and they were surprised and excited to see her at school.

potty training: a retrospective

By Natasha Standen, Mutterings and Musings

It's not like I'm rid of it forever (we're expecting baby #3 in August), but potty training seems like a dim and distant memory...of a time filled with anxiety and stress; a time of struggle. I think that for Baby Bunchers, getting the elder child to pee in the potty or on the toilet needs its own rule book!

I did make a rod for my own back with child #1, Sophie. I decided she needed to start pre-school at the age of 2 and a half & at the time, the rules required that she be 'dry'. Looking back (and I know mums that have their kids trained early on and the whole 'elimination communication' thing), Soph simply wasn't ready. But I waded in anyway, at 22 months. Armed with reward chart and treats. With a mop and bucket. With carpet shampoo. (And armed is a specific choice of word - it literally WAS a battle.)

And actually, Sophie was dry quite quickly. But the anxiety of never knowing when - or where! - I was going to find her creating puddles was like something I'd never experienced. It took me back to the newborn days, when I had no understanding of what I was meant to be doing, and just stressed about it. Having read somewhere that pull-ups sent mixed signals, I insisted she stayed in knickers despite our disasters. And we got there over a period of a few days - despite my attention being 'diverted' by child #2, Imogen, who was by now at 9 months old very mobile, and very accomplished at wandering into piles of wee! But I spent a lot of time out and about with both of them, and rarely found a cubicle large enough (or near enough!) for me to deal with this easily by myself.

This wasn't the end of it, of course. Sophie might be dry, but it was almost 3 months before she was able to poop regularly on the potty. And having, then as now, a very fruity diet, she used to soil herself liberally 3 times a day - mainly in her pants. I became an expert in cleaning her off with a baby in tow. (And sometimes in tears.)

The good news was - by the time it came to potty train child #2, I had learned lessons & was ready to wait until Imogen was at least 3 to tackle the issue. In fact, she herself 'told' me she was ready by persisting in taking her bottoms down and taking her nappy off wherever she happened to be! (She had previously 'told' us she was ready for a bed by climbing out of her high-sided cot.) And I used pull-ups this time, particularly if we were going out, which did not set us back one bit. Above all, I knew we would get there in the end and there was no need to stress about it.

And that's the only advice I can give, really. Yes, it's great if you can find someone to look after the baby while you focus on potty training the toddler. Washable car seat covers (and a homemade waterproof cushion) come in very handy. Having a portable potty & child toilet seat may be a must. But the main thing is - don't panic! This too shall pass.

This post has been reprinted with permission by Natasha.

Natasha Standen is a 34-year old stay-at-home mom & church volunteer. She lives in Nottinghamshire, UK. Mother to 5 year old and nearly 4 year old girls, 19 months apart.