This question comes from Baby Buncher Kelly.
Q: My baby is now 9 months and has terrible seperation anxiety, so I feel like I'm holding/wearing her all the time and I feel like my poor 2 year old is getting the shaft. Any tips on getting through this stage w/ my sanity?
A: First of all, let us assure you, you're doing the right thing. Wearing your baby keeps her happy and you, since you have one less person to keep track of. Your toddler is probably less bothered by this than you think. By the way, this is the life you will come to know.....for a long time. You only have two hands so unless you can produce two more, Baby Bunching means you will become a master in juggling.
Try not to beat yourself up over it. No matter how close in age your kids are they will both come to realize (in their own time) that the world doesn't center around them. A definite pro to siblings.
Kids will learn patience over time, whether they like waiting for you to finish up with little brother or big sister is not really the point. But they will like having a playmate down the road so chances are they'll take the bad with the good.
A few things to consider:
--Your kids, especially when they're small, really just want you around. So even if you're dealing with baby and still talking to your toddler and engaging with him in some way, he's probably OK with you multitaskking.
--Even small amounts of 1:1 time make a difference. Baby is taking a nap and you need to run around doing laundry, cleaning up and getting dinner ready while you only have one kid to manage. Stop and take 10 minutes (yes, even 10 minutes is huge) to read a book or cuddle with your toddler. Chances are after 10 minutes they lose focus anyway.
--It's a short phase. Soon, both your kids--especially since they are so close in age--will be playing together so you'll be able to play with both of them at the same time. Or better yet, they'll take off, shut the door and play together for 30 minutes while you read a magazine. Score!
Thanks! great post. It kills me when my 2 year old begs 'play with me mommy!' when I've got my hands full with a crabby baby who refuses to be set down... I just remind myself that this too shall pass.
I'm so looking forward to the day they start playing together! :)
Posted by: kelly | Mar 18, 2010 at 01:11 PM
I always hear how mommies just wear their younger babies, but what do you do when you have a 21+ pound 7 month old? My poor guy usually gets left to roll around on the floor or gets stuck in the Bumbo seat or high chair. He loves to be held and snuggled, but my poor back just can't take it!
Posted by: Alisha | Mar 18, 2010 at 02:22 PM
I was so happy to read this post. It was like someone was reading my mind. My 2yr old is constantly asking me to hold her while the 8mos old is left to fend for himself w/ his toys. I feel so guilty because I know I'm not giving the little guy the same kind of attn big sis got at his age. I'm glad to hear this stage won't last long. Thanks for reminding me to cut myself some slack on this one!
Posted by: Jill | Mar 19, 2010 at 12:42 AM
You can wear your 21+ lb 7 month old! I wear my 24+ lb 11 month old, sometimes all day. Usually on my back but some on the front if she's fussy and if your back is bothering you, you probably need either a better baby carrier or a better fitting one. I have a history of back trouble and my DH has a permanent vertebral injury and with the right wraps and carriers we can wear our girls with no pain. :) Check out thebabywearer.com and see if there's a babywearing group in your area for help.
Posted by: Molly | Mar 23, 2010 at 02:40 AM