it takes a bunch to get me to buy a minivan

By Amy Hoang Wrona

With the arrival of boy #3 only weeks away, my husband and I have come to a truce about buying a new car. In seven years of marriage, we’ve rarely had a disagreement involving this much digging-in of the heels, differing philosophies, and exaggerated eye-rolling. The source of all this conflict is the dreaded “M” word: minivan. I want one, he doesn’t. 

When we got married, my husband and I considered ourselves a pretty hip, urban couple. I lived in the trendy U Street corridor in the middle of Washington D.C. Jim owned a zippy sports car and used BedHead hair products to achieve a playfully urban, messy look. Three kids in four years later, we live in the suburbs and neither Jim nor I need expensive hair products to look messy. We’ve held onto our pre-kids cars thus far, but the reality is that there is no way to fit three kids who are all in car-seats, two adults, and a dog in a Honda Accord. The logistics gets even harder when you're considering stuffing the bunch in a Lexus sports car. We are getting a minivan...Honda Odyssey, to be exact. And boy, what an odyssey it's been to come to peace with this decision.
 
When I first got pregnant with our soon-to-be caboose, I let Jim live with the delusion that we'd get an SUV. I even indulged him when he mentioned that he loves Range Rovers (otherwise known as the car with the worst reliability rating on the planet). Cue to the scene where I’m standing in the middle of the street with three kids strapped in a very cute, broken-down SUV waiting for AAA.
 
I let other people first mention the M word. At Christmas, his brother and sisters asked if we were going to get a minivan. He scoffed. No self-respecting man would drive a minivan, least of all him. Minivans, he sneered, are ugly, fuel-guzzling, monsters for people who have totally given up any hope of coolness.
 
At this point, we had already found out that we're having our third boy and I am leaning very heavily toward staying at home with the bunch. Oh, and little did Jim know that I've given up any hope of coolness. I'm sure God is up there chuckling at me as I was one of those very snobby, very judgmental people in my 20s who derided those who owned minivans. I was appalled when my brother got one and sympathized when my sister-in-law looked like she was going to commit hari cari after she got hers. In my form-over-function days, I was convinced that a little discomfort was well worth the self-esteem boost of not driving a vehicle that resembled an upside-down bathtub. Eight years and three pregnancies later, I'm a poster child for not judging until you walk a mile in someone's shoes. Quite frankly all I've been doing lately is imagining myself a couple of weeks post-partum, climbing over the second row of some God-awful SUV after snapping in my newborn, climbing over the head of my eighteen-month old, to strap in my 3 year-old, and shuddering. Honestly, I'm just hoping to get through the day without leaving one of the little savages behind somewhere. I wanted a minivan. So I started turning the thumbscrews myself.
 
I started with the rational reasons: the ease of use with the automatic sliding doors; the number of people the van could seat; the different configurations of the seats; the DVD player; the trunk space; the ability to transport all of the humans and our 70 lb slobbering dog from one place to the next. I then eased into an emotional appeal, citing my quickly failing sanity and my need for any device, tool, or machine that would make my life easier for those first years with three very little, very active, boys. Now, my husband is a sucker for keeping me sane and happy and gave in. Oh, and I agreed to sell my Accord and let him keep his zippy sports car.

My concession was to let him get it in black (which, in his mind, is somehow cooler) and get leather seats, which is great for cleaning up vomit and spilled stuff anyway. So we're going to get a tricked out minivan and have already christened it the Big Black Bus. It's amazing what having a bunch will do to your perspective.

Amy is a Baby Bunching mom to a 3 1/2-year old and 18-month old. She is currently 33 weeks pregnant with her third boy.

Comments

[marty]

I just emailed this to my hubby. The one driving a two seater convertible :)

[kelly]

We love our Honda Odyssey too, and we only have 2 kids! I'm glad you won that battle!

[Emily]

haha...this cracks me up. My husband resisted the minivan too...and now loves it! In fact, I've yet to meet a guy who said, "You know, honey, I wish we'd never gotten our minivan." They all realize that, when you have that many kids, you don't look cool no matter what you drive!

[Hung Hoang]

Great writing ! I am sure that your hubby will find that you were right all along in
chosing the Honda Odyssey. No wonder there is a saying that says behind a successful man, there is a great woman !

[Jerseygirl89]

We resisted the minivan until #3 and I really wish we hadn't. I used to make fun of minivan drivers but now I'm sorta in love with it.

[Lisa]

No minivan for us. My husband was up for anything I wanted, but I didn't want a minivan. I got everything I wanted in my GMC Acadia! I love it!
We rented a minivan once on a trip to visit family and I didn't like it at all. To each her own though...that is why they make so many different vehicles...so we can all get what we want!