what is baby bunching?

  • Baby Bunching™ is two years of pregnancy and back-to-back infants and toddlers with nary a break for you. Baby Bunching means chaos for you, and your little twiblings. No worries, they become good friends as a result of your bunching strategy. You will become strong, creative, organized, calm and at peace with your new lifestyle without even realizing it.

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Feb 11, 2010

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Linda

Since the youngest of my Bunch is a girl, we're pretty sure we'll go ahead and send her even with July birthday. But I often feel the same way about the dynamics. Oldest one grew up way too fast. Youngest one is clearly in the shadow of the first. And while she can certainly hold her own weight or take anyone down in her path, I see the effect Baby Bunching may have had on her. What would it have been like if she'd been just a year younger? I guess you can't dwell on it too much. I'm curious what others have to say on this.

jesspond

Ugh, we pretty much have been worrying about this since the our first was born and I was expecting our second. Our oldest is a girl (May) and youngest is a boy (Dec, of the same year). Our son will HAVE to go when he has to go really, because he's a Dec, but we were so hoping to get them in separate grades so they could have their "own" everything at school (and so that our daughter didn't HAVE to answer 600 adoption questions all.day.long. But it's looking like sending our May girl will possibly not be in her best interest because she's....a little more hyper-wild-lacking any good attention span.

Uuugh!

Sierra

Our second child has an October birthday, and being the oldest in preschool has been great for his self confidence. He and his sister are so close and play together so much, it is nice for him to be the top dog, the one who can do the activites easier than his classmates, the kid who helps. Our third is a march birthday and our fourth a September, I'll probably not hold them back because they'll have time to ease into their age group.

Amy

I recently read a blogpost about when it's best to start school that was excellent: http://planningwithkids.com/2010/01/21/school-starting-age-our-personal-experience/

It's about a Mum's experience in Australia, but it's still applicable I'm sure. We're not quite there yet, but we most likely will decide for our eldest to start when he s already five. Adults I've spoken to that were very young in their class suggest that while it didn't make mch difference when they were little, it had an impact when they were in high school and university. And I've been told that for boys especially it can affect their emotional
development negatively in adolescence if they are much youNger than their peers.

Good luck!

Natasha

For starters, we wouldn't get to make that choice here in the UK. But I'm intrigued - I'm a buncher and I know quite a few mums in a similar situation who have a more cautious, dependent elder sibling, and a confident, outgoing, well-socialised younger sibling (there's 19 months between them). We tend to put it down to them being the second child and always having someone there to play with and show them the way of things - yet what you're suggesting is the opposite of that. Interesting. I know there are other factors - birth experience, nature/nurture - it's got my mind ticking now!

Amanda

Our bunch is only 15 months apart, and the oldest is definitely very mature and well spoken for her age, but she is actually the more socially shy of the two. At home she is a motor-mouth and never stops putting on a show! But in public she is much more reticent. Meanwhile, the younger of the two is super outgoing in public, but not quite as gregarious at home. I think that is simply their given natures and bunching has very little to do with it. We don't have to worry about the school question though since we homeschool! :)

Emily Faulkner

What a great topic! While we are still a few years away from making this decision, it's one I've already fretted about a lot. Both of my kids are on the youngest end of the school spectrum, but I worry most about my son. My daughter was born Aug 26, and my son Sept 30 of the following year. So his birthday is literally the cutoff date for school. My inclination from the get-go has been that I don't want to hold him back for several reasons. First, I feel like he and his sister are growing up almost like twins, and it seems somehow wrong for them to be two years apart in school. Along that same vein, I feel that they will have a lot of the same friends and same activities. And last, he is a big boy. With a daddy who is 6'8", my Charlie has always been in the 95-98th% for height, and I worry that he will really stand out awkwardly if he is the oldest in his class.

With all of that said, the more people I talk to about this, the more I start to question my initial inclinations. Most people say that the youngest kid (especially a boy) in the class tends to have the most social and behavioral problems, and he will be better off being the oldest. And since mine are still only 2 1/2 and 16 months, I don't know how their personalities are going to change between now and then. I'm hoping it's an obvious choice once we reach that point and we will know which decision is right!

Michelle

I am finding the opposite personalities with my bunch. My older son, who is 2.5 years old, is very sensitive, serious, analytical, and shy. His birthday is alo August 20th. Unless, something big happens to change things, he'll start school late. He can already count to 20 and has letter recognition (upper and lower case), so our decision to hold him back will purely be social.

My younger son, 10 months, is showing himself to be Mr. Independent. In fact, my toddler likes to be held and cuddled more than the "baby."

Ashley

I find that my oldest is far more the dependent one of my three, and he is more quiet and reserved (in public, anyway). My second child (13 mos difference) is much more indepedent and stubborn, and in fact she is usually the ringleader when they get into trouble. My youngest (20 mos later) is only a baby, so it's difficult to tell, but he definitely enjoys his brother and sister. I have to think, like Amanda, above, that bunching has less to do with it than just personality. But who knows?

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