and my bunch bickers on

As I'm unloading the dishwasher this morning, this is what I hear.

Child #1: I got the green cup.

Child #2: So.

Child #1: Isn't green your favorite color?

Child #2: So what.

Child #1: Ha ha.

Child #2: Bootie.

Child #1: Mom, Alex called me bootie!

Child #2: Schmootie. Tootie. Bootie. Frutti. Well, I have more cereal than you do.

Mom: No, everyone has the same cereal. Please no more names. Please eat your breakfast so we can get ready for school.

Child #1: No, Alex does have more than me. Boo hoo! That's not fair.

Child #2 get ups and does a crazy psycho dance in front of sister then flicks her. Child #1 pinches him back. Child #2 slugs his sister. She cries.

Take this scenario and put it:

--in front of the sink while brushing teeth/washing hands.

--in the bath (this is why my kids no longer bathe together)

--in the car. (my personal favorite!)

--at lunch

--at dinner

--while reading a story.

This is my day. Every day. They are now 4 1/2 and 5 1/2.

I know every sibling duo/trio does this, but when I was 5 my brother was only 2 so the dynamics were different. I'm predicting many, many more years of this. I've decided another side effect to Baby Bunching is elongated periods of sibling nonsense. My only consolation is that hopefully they outgrow it together, too.

I'm about to lose my mind. We've tried taking away marbles, losing privileges, timeouts, 1-2-3 Magic, separating them even threatening to leave by the side of the road for another family to pick up. The bickering goes on and on all day--most often at the table and in the car (where I can't run away). Just when I think I have it fixed it resurfaces. Fighting I can orchestrate, sometimes. But the constant back and forth is wearing me down, and I'm running out of creative ideas to end it or keep it from starting.

I'm taking any and all suggestions from others who are suffering this stage as well.

Comments

[JessPond]

Oh yeah. That's pretty much the way it is here, and mine are 2.

It's been going on since they were maybe 1-1.5?

They pick, scream, shove, hit, fight, kick, push, and yell all. day. long. ALL DAY LONG!

I pretty much enforce "Baby Naptime" with an iron hand. Seperate rooms. Quiet time. You don't have to sleep, but you can't be with each other.

That's the best I have found. Nothing works so far. I'm hoping they get more bribable at some point, but honestly I don't know. I'm also hoping the little one outgrows some of his sensory issues which GOOD NIGHT DO NOT HELP!

[Emily]

I totally feel your pain...mine bicker frequently.
When it gets out of hand, I institute 3 (or however many you want) minutes of silence.
Sometimes the bickering stops and sometimes not, but regardless it does give me a few minutes peace. Good luck!

[Natalie]

I don't have that right now (22 and 9 months) however I definitely have experience with it as three of my brothers had about a year between them. There were a lot of squabbles for a lot of years.(Thankfully, they are all [usually] well behaved, polite preteen/teens now!)

This is a heart issue. They want to make trouble with their sibling. They both know it isn't really about who gets the green cup! Children aren't THAT illogical. It's about 'winning' the mean contest. One thing my parents repeated over and over to them as they broke up the squabbles was "Don't make trouble with your brother."
Substitute sister as needed. ;) Because that is what it is. It isn't about the cup or the cereal or whatever.

Also, don't let the other child respond in kind. This is just feeding the troll!
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)

[Alisha]

My mom made us hug & kiss each other when we got like that. It usually worked.

[Molly]

Our friends have had great success with the rule that if you can't play/eat/sit/etc together nicely, then you will do it apart. If one kid is obviously the instigator, then the other kid gets to do said activity with the parental figure while the instigator does it alone.

[mrs.notouching]

Got no advice, just something I've picked up at one of the parenting conferences. According to some research and statistics siblings who argue more when they are little become much closer friends as adults. So the next time they start fighting just think of it as "bonding" :-) Good luck!

[Casey]

Oh god, please don't tell me I'm in for several more years of this. Mine are almost two and just turned three and this is my life too. One kid will say "no" to the other and make them LOSE THEIR SHIT because so and so told them no, even though they don't know what or why they're saying it. It's in the car, at the table, while we play, snack, bathe, EVERYTHING.

You gotta figure this one out because I need hope for the future. Thank you and good luck.