Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

baby bunching bests

We know we haven't been great about doing these. It's not that we don't love to read because we do. We both find with our Bunches, traveling husbands, part-time work and daily "needs" from everyone that getting around to rounding up the best posts takes some time. Be patient with us.

But here are a few:

Katie at Sticky Feet has a post about Mommy Guilt and balancing the needs of her three (including a set of twins.)

Natalie from Naddy's Blog is playing with the routine a bit to fit it all in. She wants to know how your daily routine is?

Whitney from Rookie Moms has a great (and quick) suggestion for photographing your Bunch.

Casey from Half As Good as You is going dye free in her house. While this post isn't necessarily about Baby Bunching, I do applaud her effort to change her lifestyle from one dye-free household to another. (Our household is dye-free for other reasons.) But it's inspiring to read about when a family has to make a major change like this.

Jessica at A Parent in Silver Spring is over at DC Metro Moms talking about going back to work. Jess is a FIRL and one of the funniest people I know. She has managed to capture very much how both Cara and I feel about our working from home part-time. Good luck!

baby bunching bites: cornflake-crusted halibut with chile-cilantro aioli

Before you freak because we mention fish, just hear me out. Fish is a huge staple in our household--1-2 times a week. It's good a for-you-food on every level. So if you like fish, I'm going to incorporate some Baby Bunching-friendly recipes from the sea. While fishsticks are yummy and kids can't resist, sometimes it's important for kids to see the real deal. And doing it earlier in their life makes it easier down the road. My kids started out with salmon, and we slowly moved to white fish, which they will now eat not fried or crusted with something. (This did take some time, but ketchup did help ease the change.)

This recipe is a nice transition from fish sticks to real fish.

The recipe is adapted from Cooking Light can use any white fish. I prefer Mahi Mahi (from Trader Joes because it's super cheap and yummy.) It looks kid-friendly and has a nice grown-up sauce that can be adapted any number of ways. Best of all it's super fast to make if you don't have time. This recipe is similar to one that uses potato chips on top (which is really, really good, but fattier).

Aioli:
2  tablespoons  minced fresh cilantro (or even ground coriander works)
3  tablespoons  fat-free mayonnaise (or regular)
1  serrano chile, seeded and minced (or Tabasco, cayenne pepper)
1  garlic clove, minced

Fish:
1  cup  fat-free milk
1  large egg white, lightly beaten
2  cups  cornflakes, finely crushed
1/4  cup  all-purpose flour
1/2  teaspoon  salt
1/4  teaspoon  black pepper
2  tablespoons  olive oil
4  (6-ounce) halibut fillets or other white fish.
Lemon wedges

Preparation
To prepare aioli, combine first 4 ingredients, stirring well.

To prepare fish, combine milk and egg white in a shallow dish, stirring well with a whisk. Combine cornflakes, flour, salt, and black pepper in a shallow dish.

Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Dip fish in milk mixture; dredge in cornflake mixture. Add fish to pan; cook 4 minutes on each side or until fish flakes easily when tested with a fork. Serve with mayonnaise mixture and lemon wedges. I have also baked this in the oven if you don't want all the oil in there. Just lightly coat a baking pan and cook until lightly browned and fish flakes when done.

Other meals we recommend:

• Maple Roasted Chicken with Sweet Potatoes
• Peanut Chicken Satay
• Sausage and Spinach Pasta

baby bunching Q/A: taking 4 under 4 to the store

We received our hardest question on our Facebook page this morning from Baby Buncher Jessica. We're asking our readers to help and hoping collectively as a community we can give her some ideas.

Q: It is so tough with three under three, how do I take a 4-,3- and 1-year old + newborn to the grocery store in a single shopping cart?

A: Our first reaction to this is don't take them all at the same time. But we know there are times when everyone will have to be corralled into the store and you will endure all kinds of funny looks and smart remarks from fellow shoppers.

Our recommendation is to realize you probably won't be able to do your big weekly shopping trips with all the kids in tow. Our friend Tanya whose kids are now 6, 4-year old twins and 2 provided some input on the question. She says that even now, trips with all four were quick ones with bagged snacks as bribes.

Since we're unfamiliar with where you live and the stores you have available, we think it would be worth quickly picking out the stores with the best carts for suited for your current needs. (Note: These needs will constantly change.) For example, Harris Teeter has carts with two 5-point harnesses (perfect for the older kids), but it also has a baby seat so three of your kids can be together. You'll have the wear the fourth one. It will probably be tricky getting everyone into the cart wearing the baby so this may take some practice. You could also have the younger three in the seats and give your four-year old some responsibility to help you shop. This might be the easier option. Target, Costco and a few others are known for their kid-friendly shopping carts. (Hopefully, readers will share some more.)

But many stores now have carts intended to seat two. Put two up front and put two in the cart. Pile food around them. Yes, be careful about who goes back there. That too may change. Tanya suggests that as the oldest one grows making him/her the "line leader" and give that child responsibility to even watch the next in line who could be instructed to hold on to the cart. A product like the tag*a*long may help you keep one kid at your side "attached" the cart. Always bring snacks or treats in case you need it.

Also consider forgoing the cart completely and bring a double stroller, have your four-year old walk and wear the baby. Whatever you fit in the stroller is what you buy.

And if all this makes you crazy....you might look into Peapod, grocery store pick up (Harris Teeter offers this) or buying your groceries online until someone starts kindergarten.

Along these lines...perhaps some of these posts will make you smile:

Raising Country Kids: Two Kids in a Grocery Cart

Blonde Mom Blog: Hell on Wheels

We can't wait to hear some other options!

(Check back next Wednesday for a question on buying a mini van . . . )

12 questions to answer before buying a double stroller

So you're in the market for double stroller?

One of our favorite topics here at Baby Bunching is double strollers. Many of our readers try to forgo the stroller and if in a certain living environment a double stroller may not be for you, but both of us (living in closer in suburban areas outside major cities) found a stroller a must-have.

But you've found out you're pregnant with number #2 and decided you need to get going on the research. Right? Ok, here are a few things to consider before you get overly excited. There are a lot of choices out there, and it may make your head spin to sort through it all. Be not afraid.

It's really not as scary as you think with right planning. We're going to show you how easy it can be. This is a multi-post topic so stay with us as we discuss.

Before you jump online to look at too many brands (Joovy, Graco, Phil and Ted, Maclaren, etc.) and colors (orange, black, pink, polka dot), we ask you stop. Sit down and answer these questions on paper. We're not kidding. Use a crayon if you have to.

1) How many strollers do you have?
2) What you do like/dislike about them?
3) What is your favorite one?
4) What do you like most about it?
5) Where does your stroller live? (Car, garage, foyer)
6) What is the one thing your stroller must be/have? (Light? Easy to maneuver? Cheap? Side by side? All-terrain wheels?)
7) What are your stroller expectations for this new stroller? (Must hold carseat, must keep kids separated, etc.)
8) Are you strong?
9) Where do you live? (ie House, townhouse, apt? City? Suburbs? Country?)
10)  What do you do most with your stroller or think you will do? (Travel, mall, museums, Disney, grocery, trails, running, back and forth to daycare/sitter, etc?)
11)  Will your stroller be riding in your car as another passenger? If so, what do you drive? (Tip: Measure your trunk)
12)  What are/will be the ages of your kids when you make this purchase?

Now you notice, we didn't mention anything about money yet. We're getting there, but first answer these questions honestly. If you don't ever run with your kids or take walks on trails then just rule out anything jogging or all-terrain like. It's a waste. If you're a city girl and haven't set foot in a mall or Costco, we would say this may change your mind about some strollers. If you like cupholders for you or couldn't live without the tray for your kid, note that. If you have back problems and getting your stroller in and out of your minivan is going to be awful, remember that when you're shopping. I had a friend who couldn't lift her 30-pound stroller into her SUV so she never used it. Not a smart buy. If you live somewhere that requires a lot of maneuvering tight spaces or people, then we're guessing the DuoGlider isn't gonna cut it without a lot of cursing.

A double stroller can run you $50 to $800 or more. Anyone making a purchase this big--even at $100--needs to answer these questions. Feel free to share with us some of your answers. But we want you to think about your answers before we move on to the next step of talking money. Think about them while you're at Costco, the grocery store, the mall, the trails, the sidewalks in Brooklyn, or a coffee shop.

Stay with us . . . we'll move you along to budget, baby bunching things to consider and options.

what kids really learn in preschool

As a follow-up to last week's post on the preschool admissions process for those of you weighing preschool options, I wanted to share a little gem I came across years ago.  Somewhere along the line with one of my three children, I got a wonderful handout on "What Kids Really Learn in Preschool" (from my preschool, natch).  Several commenters last week raised the issue of opting out of preschool, and the list below can easily be adapted for ideas for suggested skill-building activities to do at home or even at playgroups, which is why I've kept it on file for so long. 

I searched and was not able to find a source for this on line, but I've found it so valuable that I'll re-type the whole thing for you girls.  Happy play learning!

"What Kids Really Learn in Preschool" by Barbara Soloman

1)  How to be a student.  Although a preschool room can seem unstructured at times, there are many rules and routines designed to teach children how to conduct themselves in a classroom and be part of a group.  Children know where to put their finished projects, how to walk in line, and where to sit at story time.

2) How to make friends.  Preschool offers opportunities for children to forge friendships and settle differences without the help of a parent or caregiver.

3) How to be independent.  Parents tend to help their children with the small tasks of everyday life.  Preschool teachers, who have classrooms of 10 or more children, encourage students to take more responsibility.  Children learn how to put on their own jackets, wash their hands, and more.

4) How to tell a story.  Children in preschool have many opportunities to hear stories, as well as tell them and act them out with classmates. Children will begin to recognize the importance of the printed word.

5) How to ask for help.  Preschoolers develop confidence and inner strength to speak up for themselves.

6) How to cut and paste.  Art projects are definitely expressions of creativity for preschoolers, but working with scissors, glue sticks, and crayons also helps children develop fine motor skills that will help them with letter formation in kindergarten, and even note taking in high school.

7) How to build a block tower.  When children play with blocks or other manipulatives, they learn to sort and classify.  Building with blocks helps children with spatial skills and gives them an early foundation for understanding higher math concepts.

8) How to recognize symbols, concepts, and rhymes.  Preschoolers begin to identify numbers and letters, and develop a useful understanding of shapes and colors.  Rhymes and songs will also help children academically.  Children who know how to rhyme will learn to read more easily.

9) How to hop, skip, and jump.  Daily outside play helps preschoolers strengthen their muscles and develop coordination.

10) How to investigate and explore.  Preschoolers are natural scientists and they benefit from having plenty of hands-on, self-directed experimentation.

looking for guest contributors

In this new year, we're looking to improve and expand the Baby Bunching site. Keep coming back here as we incorporate some new things to the blog. Perhaps....even a new look will be coming soon. Right now, however, we are looking for guest contributors to write about going back to work, three under three, potty woes, husband being away, dealing with daily nonsense, kids being sick, etc. Email us at [email protected] with your topic idea or just email us and we'll get you set up as a contributor. No need to already be blogging, we'd love to see some new names here.

baby buncher Q/A: life after the infant seat

Q: Currently, I have 1 toddler who is 19 months and another child who is 4 months. We've all just mastered our little dance our loading the kids in the car. One goes in the big boy car seat while the other... one goes via infant car seat into a base. We've also figured out how to maneuver the grocery store with one sitting up in front and the other one in the cart in the car seat.

What happens to my life when littlest one gets too big to fit into the car seat and I have to carry both. Right now my toddler books it every time his sneaks hit the floor. What happens when that both get to walking. How to you get the older one to stay right next to you?

A: When my first child started to near the weight limit on his infant bucket seat, I immediately felt the need to bump him up to a more comfortable ride. Enter the convertible car seat. But my poor second child was literally busting out of her infant seat before I was ready to give in and move her out. Why? Because infant seat meant she was transferable from car to home, home to car, car to shopping cart, etc. Once she was out the seat, I would be left with two kids to contend with in parking lots or even in my own foyer.

My youngest was just about nine months old when I realized the infant seat was just WAY too small for her physique. Of course, she outgrew that bucket seat right about the time that Alex started a preschool where I had to walk him in (up a snowy hill) everyday. Super convenient. Moving her up to the convertible car seat meant I had to look into buying another one since my oldest was only two at the time. 

It can be very difficult to deal with two toddlers who are loose and on the prowl and possibly darting into traffic.

The answer to your question is you become creative and quick on your feet. A few things to note and then I hope other Baby Bunchers will chime in:

--Drive thrus can be your best friend. I didn't have anything I could drive through, but you'd be amazed how far I would drive just for that convenience.

--Parking close to the store or a cart corral is critical. I would often drive around and wait so I could be right next to all the carts so I could literally lift one from point A to point B without having to go very far.

--Invest in a carrier. Ergo holds kids up to a decent weight. Have your littlest one get adjusted to life in this sooner rather than later. This will ensure at least one is strapped to you past the infant stage.

--Make sure you have a double stroller. Pull it out of the car and load them both up one at a time. If your oldest is a darter into traffic then load him in first and strap him in. Then put the little one in once you know he's safely in his seat.

--Grocery store visits will change. You will have one up front still and the second may have to ride in the Ergo on your back or sit in the cart part...not ideal, but you do what you have to. I have seen moms pushing two carts around with both kids. If you are coordinated enough for that, go for it!

--You may be able to play games with them as they get older. One mom I knew put a sticker on her car and when she was messing with the youngest told her oldest to touch his hand to the sticker. This may work for some kids so try it. (I could hear mine laughing at my hysterically....hold the sticker? Are you crazy?!) Another mom calls the parking medians "islands" and if you walk in the parking lot/street it's considered shark infested water. So they run from place to place. This worked well when my kids were 3.

Please let us know what suggestions you have for life after the infant seat.

this is your job; give yourself a break

A good friend of mine once told me...regarding her new job as mom: "There are ups and downs like any job. Some days it's good and some days my "bosses" make me crazy, but it's still the best job I've ever had." She told me this shortly after leaving her full-time job to be a stay-at-home mom for a few years. I took these words to heart all these years and fully agree. (Thanks Jane!) 

Being a mom is the best job I've ever had. And there are days that I think it's too much and days that I know it's all worth it.

As moms we sacrifice so much for our kids, and we can often become a bit masochistic about the things we do day-to-day. As with any job, there are times when working ridiculous overtime hours is necessary. There are times when you have to give in to the boss' demands. But at the same time, along the way, it's often necessary to negogiate a better work environment or rearrange your schedule to suit changes in routine. Don't forget that for most jobs you are allowed "vacation time" and lunch breaks. And while parenting is a 24/7 kind of job, it's important to allow yourself time for breaks.  

I speak to so many Baby Bunching moms who feel guilty in taking time for themselves--whatever it may be. No one expects you to be "on" all the time. That's unrealistic. Perhaps you're "on call" most of the days/nights, but realize that not being with your kids now and then actualy helps you in the long run. Give yourself a break even it you have to plan that time.And the break I'm talking about is not the kind where you zone out during a feeding or flip through a magazine during Dora. (Although these are important as well.)  You may not get a lunch break most days, but perhaps your break comes at breakfast time when your spouse can get the kids while you zen for day.

Any good employer knows that to keep employees happy they have to account for "off" times, whether it is vacation or breaks during the day. Unfortunately, our little Baby Bunchers (aka our bosses) don't fully comprehend this theory as most of them can hardly wipe their own bottoms. They won't come up and suggest you go sit and drink coffee in quiet. Chances are they won't suggest a bath of your own (without them pouring bubbles all over you). I'm willing to bet money that they don't recommend a girl's weekend away while daddy and/or grandma runs the show.

Vacation is important. Time off is critical. Skiing in Aspen may be out of the picture. Perhaps a cruise to Bermuda is not in the cards. But an overnight to a B&B with hubby in the next town or even alone might be in order. When you're making your new year's resolutions for 2010 with things like drinking less coffee, organizing your closets, cooking more meals at home, working out more or spending time with the kids. Don't forget to carve out time now and then for you.

We're not your boss, but we figure your bosses (who are busy getting into things right now) may thank you later for making the decision for them.

best places to take your bunch

It's still very much winter in most parts of the country. With the holidays gone and the excitement of cold, wintery air also gone (c'mon Spring!), we're looking to new places for my Bunch to explore. Every major city is different in what it provides for kids: indoor playgrounds, museums, coffee houses for moms and kids, malls, etc. We're looking to create a useful list for other Baby Bunchers of great places to go or things to do with your Bunch. We understand things change as your kids grow. For example there have many times that the mall is perfect for my kids and two months later I would never set foot in one at a particular age/stage.

Send us an email at [email protected] or post a comment here or at our FB site and tell us these things. Feel free to post this to your mom's groups' message boards as well to pool even more great ideas.

1. City.
2. Name of establishment.
3. What ages you think it's perfectly suited for.

We'll do this a few times a year to try and keep a nice collection of things going/updated for everyone.

get out the pencils, get out the books...

It's that time of year again!  Nope, not the holidays already, but something even more logistically draining - preschool admissions!

You will recall from previous posts that Linda and I are HUGE, HUGE fans of preschool for several practical reasons:

1.  Time for you to spend with Little Baby alone (can you just imagine the luxury of breastfeeding for 20 minutes without interruption?)

2. Time for you to get chores or errands done without the hassle of strapping and unstrapping 15 kids into car seats at every stop.

3.  A mini-break for you, which means you are refreshed when your Bunch returns home.

And last, but not least -

4. Your kids get to make friends their own age and learn to share, craft and play nicely.  Bonus that cleanup is someone else's problem for once.

Linda and I both live in major metropolitan areas.  This means that the preschool admissions process tends to be even more complicated than it was for the two of us to sign our names on pre-filled scan tron "applications" to get into COLLEGE at the University of Texas a little over a decade ago. 

When my oldest started preschool, to get into the school of our choice you had to camp out in your car overnight to get one of the coveted first spots.  I put hubby on notice that pregnant girls (I was pregnant with #2 already) were exempt from that rule and he would have to do it.  Fortunately for him, they moved to a lottery system that year.  Yeah - you heard me, a LOTTERY to get into preschool. For those of you in smaller towns, we do hope that you have an easier time of it.  

So while your Bunch may seem tiny now, please know that fall is a full (and very long) NINE MONTHS from now.  By then, they will certainly look older, more robust, and capable of being away from you for one or two mornings a week.  Especially in larger cities, the time to worry about "Back to School" for toddlers is not in September - it is now.  Here's how to get started:

1.  Survey your mommy friends and neighbors where their kids to go preschool, if they like the school, and why/why not.  In the interest of time, email and Facebook are great ways to collect this preliminary information.

2. Call the top 3 schools that you hear about and find out about schedules, cost considerations, etc.  Do yourself a favor and weigh some of these things BEFORE you make an appointment to do a tour.  A Baby Buncher's time is precious (especially if she's dragging her Bunch with her), so really think hard about what you want in a preschool (a place that can take both your kids, a school that's known to feed into certain private schools, more academic vs. a social-emotional curriculum, etc.)

3.  Set up a tour and take your kid (or at least one) with you.  One of my kids once vetoed a preschool move on the basis that the place smelled like pee, even if the playground was more awesome than his current school.  We can't underscore enough how important it is to go SEE the place - there's no substitute for first-hand impressions.

4.  Make notes of application deadlines and fees, and be sure and ask the Directors about typical/historical space availability so you know what your chances are of getting in.  If you're thinking about sending both of your kids, consider scheduling constraints as well. Sometimes when you're a Baby Buncher, the harsh reality is that being able to get complimentary schedules for both kids may actually outweigh your top choice school for other reasons (location, academics, etc.) 

5.  Start filling out applications and writing deposit checks!

May the Force be with you.