Even four years into it, I learn something new every day about Baby Bunching. And frequently, I am re-learning the same lessons for the thousandth time. Like during last week's field trip to the zoo with Middle, for instance, where I made two rookie mistakes:
- forgetting Baby's lovey
- failing to get a babysitter for Baby
I'll spare you the EXTREMELY painful details, but let's just say that the story ended with me bailing on my middle child and leaving him to ride home with another mom while I dragged my sobbing, inconsolable youngest child home. The irony of this situation is that I'd already done this exact same field trip once (with the oldest of my Bunch last year) and I'd done it right (read: hired a sitter to watch the other two). So what the hell made me think that bringing a tagalong sibling this year was a good idea? Well, perhaps that fact that there were easily a half dozen other siblings tagging along with no problems whatsoever, but that's not how we roll in the Fox family and I should've known better.
I called a mommy friend for moral support on the way home from the zoo and she sagely pointed out that at least I had I learned a lesson. Again. GET A FREAKING BABYSITTER FOR THE SIBLINGS.
That afternoon, empowered to take charge after the colossal failure of the zoo outing, I returned home and immediately declined a slew of birthday party invitations for the Bigs that I had been sitting on while I tried to decide if I could either A) make it work with the other two kids hanging off the side, or B) justify hiring a sitter. The day's events were a much-needed reminder that A was a was NOT gonna work and a quick glance at the remainder of the month's babysitting budget removed the B option from the table. I briefly worried about the boys getting wind of the few parties they were missing, but fortunately they are boys and not girls and could give two craps about being included in any social engagement - all they really care about is the cake.
Because my Bunch is so close in age, of the same gender, and have many of the same friends, I am often tempted to think that activities that are appropriate for one will be embraced by the other. And yet, we have a long history of failed attempts at "tag along" outings that date back to our music class dropout in the early days, leading right up to this semester's ball playing commitments (flag football for Big, t-ball for Middle, tears and tantrums for everyone). Honestly, for me it is hard enough to manage the child participating in the activity, let alone his assorted siblings and all of their special needs on the sidelines.
The bottom line is this: Tagalongs are only good in the form of Girl Scout cookies. If it's something really special for one kid, figure out a way to let it be special for that kid only. And carry an extra car seat in your trunk in case another Buncher is learning this lesson for the thousandth time and needs you to bring her kid home.
On the subject of babysitters....for those of us without the luxery of family help, who do you call for daytime babysitting? We have a great teenage sitter for evenings/weekends but I'm SOL during the day. Just wondering what others have done (after losing their minds too...).
Posted by: Andrea | Oct 22, 2009 at 09:23 AM
Tagalongs and Girl Scout cookies- I love that line!
I tend to make this mistake with my oldest two. A 3 year old and a 4 year old boy should be able to do the same things, right? And it's fun with a 1.5 year old in tow. YEAH, RIGHT.
To Andrea- I have found some homeschooled teenagers in my area who make awesome daytime babysitters!
Posted by: Shell | Oct 22, 2009 at 11:15 AM