This time, I'm posing the question and hoping you'll supply the answer. This is not so much a Baby Bunching question as a parenting question, but this blog gets way more traffic than my personal one so thought I'd ask where the experts are hanging out - I am at a complete loss here.
Q: My four-year old has always been a finger sucker, but his teachers this year are strongly discouraging him from sucking fingers in the classroom (with my full support). He has now taken to chewing on his shirts and jackets instead. He comes home from school with the whole top half of his shirt drenched! His finger sucking was never associated with a lovey or anything - he just sucks his fingers out of habit more than anything and the shirt sucking appears to be the same. I could have used a thumb crib or another device to break the finger sucking habit, but short of confiscating all his shirts, I'm not really sure what to do about this.
Help?
A: (from Linda who hijacked this post before it was posted) I am all about the rewards program. Since you actually have proof of if he did or didn't eat his shirt (by the way it looks at the end of the day) you could do a reward system. My neighbor keeps a bucket of a $1 toys or trinkets she's hijacked from the cereal boxes. At the end of each day you could let him pick a cheap toy of some kind if he keeps his fingers out of his mouth or doesn't chew his shirts. Or you could always try my marble system--get and lose marbles based on this.
Maybe he is doing it to soothe himself. Would it be possible to give him an acceptable alternate habit to satisfy his need to soothe. What about something like a worry stone that he can keep in his pocket? Does anyone else have any "acceptable" soothing habits?
Posted by: maggie | Oct 19, 2009 at 07:24 PM
Is he shy? Like Maggie, I think it could be a soothing technique. My daughter did this too in the 2nd grade. She was at a new school and was having trouble fitting in. Once she was more comfortable in the school, the shirt sucking. I'd gently remind him to stop (ask the teachers to do so also) and maybe try and find a rubber ("jelly") necklace that he could chew on instead? I really like the idea of the worry stone too; unless you think that it would end up in his mouth too.
Posted by: Becky | Oct 19, 2009 at 09:41 PM
I have no ideas, but if you find something that works, please post back! My 3.5 year old is a finger sucker - ALL.DAY.EVERY.DAY. His fingers for the brief second when they emerge from his mouth are constantly dripping in drool and wrinkled.
Posted by: Kim | Oct 19, 2009 at 10:24 PM
There could be various reasons for this: habit, anxiety, sensory...the list could go on and on. If he doesn't seem anxious and he does not seem to be sensory sensitive, then I would try to substitute the behavior with something else. All the OTs I know swear by gum-chewing for substitution. There are also jelly toppers that go on pencils, and something called "chewlery". Vibrating toothbrushes give lots of oral input. Alternating chewy foods with crunchy foods are also helpful for substitution. From a behavioral perspective, the rewards system is a good idea. Focus on what you want him to do, not on what you don't want him to do. When you see his fingers OUT of his mouth, reinforce, reinforce, reinforce. Don't make a big deal out of it and don't make it a power struggle. (You won't win.)
This isn't that uncommon of an issue for kids this age and he will most certainly out grow it, so be patient and know it's just a phase...(There is a lot of research out there that suggests that doing something physical [doodling, chewing] while we are learning helps us to store the memory better as we are using more senses at the time. If it helps you, re-frame the issue as a tool that helps him learn better.)He'll be fine, don't worry:)
Posted by: crisitn | Oct 19, 2009 at 10:42 PM
Thanks for the suggestions, girls. It totally IS a soothing and sensory thing - he always has to be picking at something - he sucks his fingers and picks his belly button and when I'm reading bedtime stories, he likes to suck his fingers and pick MY belly button - LOL. Love the worry stone and chewelry ideas, and (duh) have not tried the positive reinforcement yet - he did come home yesterday with a dry shirt - YAY - and I missed the opportunity to praise him. : ( Great suggestions - will try - thank you!
Posted by: Cara Fox | Oct 20, 2009 at 09:30 AM