a new chapter for everyone

The oldest of my Bunch starts kindergarten tomorrow.  On the eve of this momentous occasion, I am very, very nervous.  He is fine.  I am an absolute wreck.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted to be a mom.  But I've always envisioned myself a mom of very young children - babies, toddlers, preschoolers.  I never really pictured myself with school-aged kids or, God forbid, teenagers.  Don't ask me where I thought the flock of aforementioned very little people were going to go once they hit kindergarten because I have no idea.  I just know that they weren't part of my Life Plan - until now.

I love being a mom of very small children.  After three of them in five years, I've finally gotten the hang of pregnancy, breastfeeding, sleep training, introducing solids, baby proofing, selecting the best stroller/high chair/car seat to meet my needs, finding playgroups, potty training, traveling with a baby, finding caregivers and preschools that meet my standards, and more.  As a Baby Buncher, I've successfully navigated double strollers, the nap trap, organizing all our hand-me-downs, twibling rivalry, selecting the best outings to keep two preschoolers busy, and sleep/bath/meal time with two babies/toddlers/preschoolers.

But I've never had to make sure a kid's uniform passes inspection or that he wears tennis shoes on PE days.  I've never had to make sure he doesn't miss more than a certain number of days of school a year so he doesn't fail, or make sure he gets there on time so excessive tardies don't lead to absences, too many of which = FAIL.  I've never had to make sure homework gets done.  I've never had to remind a child to make healthy choices when he is choosing his own lunch in the cafeteria line because I'm not there to decide what he's eating.  I've never had to let my kid be friends with children whose parents I don't know.  I've never had to send a child to After School Care because I have a work meeting, and I've certainly never sent him on a field trip on which I wasn't a chaperone.  And this is just kindergarten.

With the birth of The Caboose a little over a year ago, my feet are still firmly planted in the safe and familiar world of Baby, even as I am tentatively dipping a toe into the unfamiliar territory of School-Aged.  I can only hope that sending #2 to kindergarten will be a little easier, and that by the time I get to #3, I will be happily ensconced in the land of science fairs and soccer games and glad to see him go.

But I know that what scares me most about kindergarten (aside from the fact that it places my son squarely out of my control for 6 1/2 hours or more a day) is the fact that the past five years have gone so fast.  Before I know it, the next five will be gone and the next five after that.  As the kids get older and develop their own independent lives, the years will blow by even faster and soon I'll be sending the last one off to college.  Which means that I have only one thing to look forward to.

Grandbabies.

Comments

[JessPond]

This post makes me want to hyperventillate and mine are only 1.75 and 2.25 years old.

Oh dear.

[Emily]

Sheesh, Cara! And I thought I was freaking out! ;) Just kidding! I've actually had all those thoughts over the past two days too. I'm hoping it gets better...

[Eva]

I read your post and wept. Ok, Ok, so I am pregnant with my #3 right now so the hormones are raging. But a part of me wonders if my motivation for no. 3 was getting to hold onto baby years just a bit longer. I am going to have to embrace another coping skill soon though unless I want to populate a small island (kids are currently 2.5, 15 months...and one on the way). I totally agree with you though. I don't like to consider myself a control freak with my kids, but who am I kidding. I can't imagine kindergarten. I am already apprehensive about preschool this year. Too bad a martini is out of the question right now.

[Lisa]

I hate to tell you this but you're right. Once they start kindergarten the time absolutely flies by. Even more quickly than before I think. You're so busy with after school activities, homework, and school projects that the days slip away. My oldest started the fifth grade yesterday. Fifth grade! Next year he starts middle school. I can't even believe it. My little boy is gone. I walked with my two girls (2 yrs and 8 mos) to meet him after his first day of school yesterday. He barely said hi to us before he walked past with a couple of his buddies. I expected it but it was still sad. Sigh.