For the first year and a half of Baby Bunching, it was tough. Then it got (relatively) easy as they grew into playmates and would keep each other occupied for hours. Now it is kind of sucking again.
At ages 4 and 5 1/2, my Bunch have really developed into their own little (extremely argumentative) people. Lately, it seems their favorite game is one my husband likes to call "Plaintiff v. Defendant". This involves the children bringing a constant litany of wrongdoings against each other to our attention, such as:
- He hit me!
- He take my toy!
- He knock my bike over!
- He knock me over!
- He eat my cookie!
- He color on my paper!
- He told me I have to eat my carrots!
- He run faster than me! Closely followed by He didn't wait!
- He threw my cars in the mud!
- He said I couldn't choose the movie/story/game!
- And my personal favorite: He talked to Baby when I was talking to Baby! (ever in competition to see who wins the rights to the "Best Big Brother" title)
Such accusations are typically made through tears, and we usually hear the screams and cries of outrage before we actually see the children present themselves for trial. It's usually pretty easy to tell who the perpetrator is, since he's typically trailing the alleged victim by at least a few steps. Unless somene's bleeding, our standard response is to tell them to "work it out as brothers", but lately I have actually found myself wishing that I had some sort of mediation training under my belt.
The constant arguing is no doubt exacerbated by the fact that they are so close in age, both boys, and share a bedroom. Add that to the fact that my oldest is an overachiever and my second is hypercompetitive, and it's a recipe for disaster.
Since everyone is home all day, every day this summer, I've come to the conclusion that a little personal space is in order once in awhile. Oldest boy will go to one camp that his brother is not attending, freeing me up to do some fun stuff with the two littles. I'm in the process of setting up some individual playdates so they can get away from have a break from each other, and I've instituted mandatory afternoon quiet time in separate rooms (not sure why the hell I ever let this fall by the wayside, anyway). My hope is that it will help, because I'm getting pretty tired of playing judge and jury.
I have yet to try this but I hear you treat it like hockey-everyone goes in the penalty box if there is a major upset. If they come to you crying and tattling-both are punished. I guess this teaches them to work it out and each avoids rocking the boat so they aren't punished.
My middle is just two so I think I need to implement soon. But I hear ya-lots of squabbles! Good luck!
Posted by: Jayne | May 27, 2009 at 01:52 PM