ready, set, wean!

The American Academy of Pediatric's official stance on breastfeeding advocates "Exclusive breastfeeding for approximately the first six months and support for breastfeeding for the first year and beyond as long as mutually desired by mother and child."   Which sounds awesome in theory.  In practice, I frequently wonder exactly how many of the Academy's voting members on this policy were actually breastfeeding moms.

Don't get me wrong - I am completely pro-breast feeding.  If it is working for mom and baby.  It never ceases to amaze me how breastfeeding can simultaneously be one of the most natural things in the world and one of the most difficult. This is particularly true for Baby Bunchers, many of whom find themselves either pregnant or nursing (or both!) for a minimum of three consecutive years of their lives, frequently more.

I have long held the year-long breastfeeding goal as a standard I hoped to reach someday.  I nursed my oldest pretty much exclusively for nine months and then he kind of weaned himself.  Never much of a cuddler, he just really didn't seem to want to draw sustenance from me anymore.   He was a busy, busy boy and didn't want to be pinned down to eat.   I will confess that, as a first-time mom, I did worry that if I pushed through the apparent urge to self-wean that I would somehow force him to revert and get overly attached and  find it so hard to break the "habit" that I would be nursing a fifth grader.   Figuring that we only had three more months until I could move him over to cow's milk and I might as well dip into those free formula samples from the hospital, I just kind of let it go. Good thing, too, because a month later I would find out I was already two months pregnant with his brother.  Who says breastfeeding is birth control?

Baby Number Two had issues.  Looking back, I think he may have had undiagnosed reflux, but I'll just say that in conjunction with his physical issues and his older brother's refusal to sit still for more than five minutes, feeding was a nightmare with him from day one.  I started supplementing at around three weeks, beat myself up daily for my inability to make nursing work, and finally signed off (with much regret) around four months.  And I regret giving up so soon to this day.

Enter Baby Number Three and I am hell bent on nursing to the one-year mark.  I have been supplementing a little since the beginning once my supply was established (darn, that formula is a slippery slope once you start it).  But we've pushed through all the hurdles and continued nursing and now he gets maybe one 8 oz bottle a day, and not even every day.  We're now trekking along at almost nine months, on target to make the one year mark. 

But this week he started moving - alot.  So much that nursing has become a physical battle.  He now attacks the breast like a ferocious dog, sucks furiously to achieve letdown, and then can't be bothered to stick around for the payoff.  Nope - he's practically crawling out of the room with my breast clamped in his mouth.  When I am able to convince him to sit still long enough to eat, he's either poking my eyes out, clawing at my hair, or shoving his fingers in my mouth.  Or sometimes, instead of draining the breast like he did as an infant, he sips at it.  Luxuriously, at his convenience - when there is nothing more interesting going on in the room.  Somehow he didn't get the memo that breastfeeding is neither a Iron Man triathlon water station nor a tea party.

Once again, my little one's apparent lack of attachment to (or even interest in) nursing is weakening my resolve and threatening to keep me from the one-year mark.   But I'm determined to push through it this time.  Baby Number Three is the final chapter and this is my last chance to show the AAP once and for all that I can run with the big dogs. 

Comments

[Tara Pringle Jefferson]

My goal with both my kids was the six-month mark. Sorry. I'm a little gal (under five feet) and I have big babies. Those two things don't necessarily add up to successful long-term breastfeeding. With my daughter, I got her to the seventh month mark and considered it a success.

With my son, from the first time he clamped down on my nipples, I knew I was in for a rough time. Even the lactation consultant looked petrified. She actually said in astonishment, "Oh, my, he's CHEWING your nipple." Fun times.

I made it to four months with that kid. It sounds like Baby #3 is the same way my son is. Won't sit still for longer than three minutes, likes to pull and tug the nipples, takes his good ol' time getting his nourishment...yup. I can relate.

What matters is that you do your best. As a baby buncher, I'd say you've already gone above and beyond.

[JessPond]

I had SUCH an easy time nursing our son (even with a 6 mo old!) but he was like you described your sons...around 10-11 mo he started to self wean. We limped it to 12, but honestly, I was glad to be done. He struggled with FTT, too, and so I'm not sure that the BFing was THE BEST thing. HOWEVER, he still struggles with it (17mo, he's obviously NOT still bfing), so I doubt it hurt him any either.

My motto is generally...nice if you can, fine if you can't. After all, my (bottle fed, since I was 9w when she was born!) daughter is healthier, really!

[Heidi]

My first son could suck so hard I would feel it in my back. Nursing was a nightmare and boy, did that kid love to eat. With him, I was engorged for 10 of the 12.5 months we nursed. He never knew formula existed.

I got pregnant with #2 a month later and nursed her exactly 12 months - to the day. She was a big eater too (like #1, every 2-3 hours for at least the first 3 months), but supply just met demand. I was hospitalized when she was 6 mo. old, so she got a week worth of formula (THE hardest week of my life)and then intermittent bottles of formula with sitters (there was some left in the house.)

Number 3 (whom I got pregnant with ONE WEEK after weaning #2 - grrr) got his first bottle of formula at about 2.5 months (I got the flu and dehydrated myself.) Unlike the first two, he is a cluster feeder: he takes 3-4 hour breaks, but then nurses every 45 minutes for about 2 hours. Post-flu, my supply has not returned to normal. Or he has gotten a lot hungrier - don't know which. Either way, my husband gives him formula at the midnight feeding to let me get some rest (hey - I've got 3 under 4 - I need it!) For the first time, I gave him a bottle at 8 this morning (he'd nursed every hour, on the hour, from 3-7AM.) The little monster sucked it down and passed out, giving my poor boobs a much needed rest. I feel guilty, but I'm sure I'll get over it.

That was the long way of saying this: hang in there! I've been pregnant or nursing since March 2004 without a break, and I've never liked nursing, but I'll be damned if I quit before this last guy (who IS our last) will be weaned before his birthday. If I can do it, anyone can. Of course, the minute we're done, I'm getting plastered! (Anyone interested in joining me in the celebration? Mark your calendar for Dec. 11!) Good luck to you and all the other nursing moms out there - you are great women!

[Knowles]

My son is close to 9 months and is exclusively breastfed. But, he's getting VERY difficult to handle and sounds a lot like your kiddo. I don't enjoy bf and am trying to stick it out, especially since I wasn't able to bf my daughter. It's tough but I'm hanging in there!

[kelley]

Help! My son won't stop breastfeeding, and he turned two a couple of weeks ago! Like you said, it VERY hard to break the habit and I have never been the kind of mom that could let their child "cry it out", not that there is anything wrong with that, I actually wish I could do that! My daughter was the same way, I nursed her until she was a little past two also. The only reason she stopped was because I was pregnant with my son and my milk dried up...yep, not a form of birth control. Does anyone know how I can wean him without hurting his feelings? I thought about putting something bad tasting on my breast?!?!? I want to stop...but he doesn't :(

http://www.tutusandchoochoos.blogspot.com

Oh, and by the way...I LOVE your blog!!!I have four kids close together in age, 5 yr. old (adopted) 4 yr. old and 2 yr. old and my 6 year old lives in Heaven. I love coming to your site, it helps me a lot!!!
Kelley

[Jessica]

So funny to read this article! I was searching info in the atlanta area and found your blog. My last to kids are 11 months apart. I didnt know I was pregnant with the second one until I was 14 weeks because I was nursing and thought there was no way I could be pregnant. ehhem...besides the fact that the hubby had just had a vasectomy a week before we found out we were pregnant again! I ended up nursing until he was 9months and them had to switch to formula so I could get a break before the girl came along in two months. Pregant and nursing simultaneously is definitely a challenge. Love your blog and look forward to reading more!

[hollyjean]

One of my husband's friends had FIVE kids and breastfed them all pretty long, a total of 12 years pregnant or breastfeeding. When she found out about our twins and my hubbie's complaints about my lack of energy she ripped him a new one - she said just last year when she weaned the last kid, she suddenly realized how much energy it was taking, and felt YEARS YOUNGER, full of energy... I hope we can all enjoy that pleasure at the end of our boob-sharing times! Goodness knows when I weaned the boys last summer (one week before getting knocked up again) I had this amazing two week energy-filled joy that suprised me, even after hearing about the mother of five. I think the suprising part was that while I had just weaned two 15 month olds - they had only been suckling one or two times a day, and I had no idea that one meal for two kids could be taking up so much energy. I thought they were barely drinking anything, but boy was I wrong!

(In the meantime, their little sister is gonna get suckled all day every day for as long as she wants, 'cause this pregnancy is kicking my butt, and I'm not ready for the next one - I'm too afraid it will be twins again!)

[Padded Nursing bras]

Thank you for shedding some light on this one, I really appreciate it.
Martina

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