I will never forget my first playgroup. We were ten women from all different countries and different professions. Most of us just had our first babies, almost all of them were boys and all within six to nine months of each other.
Every Wednesday we met at someone’s house. The coffee was hot, the snacks were plentiful and the company was unbeatable. Looking at us, you’d think we’d known each other for years, but in reality most of us had little in common other than babies and being stranded in the same desert country.
Over the years I have been in and to many playgroups. Some of them great and some of them so bad I never returned. The whole point for a playgroup when your kids are really too little to play with each other is for moms and children to socialize. And there are definite playgroup rules, but ones in particular which if not followed will turn away some Baby Bunching moms. Some of these include: not providing snacks, making me feel unrelaxed and talking bad about my kid.
The dynamics can be tricky if you have a toddler and a baby. If your baby is sleeping nicely in the carrier than you can attend to toddler needs and your own. Toddlers can’t be left to work out all their own issues at this point, as the not-so-proud mother of a biter can attest to. As soon as baby needs feeding or has explosive poo, you’re left to attend to him while toddler can flee, hit, bite, poop, eat something inappropriate, bully some kid. When you are no longer in control of your own environment at home, you can have a problem if no one is willing to help be your eyes and ears.
I realized what made those successful playdates and playgroups so successful was the other moms. Baby Bunchers have to stick together. The best playgroups are where, with your friends, you're greater than the sum of all your parts. Meaning, you may arrive in and leave in chaos, but while you're together everything is better and easier because you have each other.
i meet a group of ladies at gymboree, we were all first time moms and our kids where ranged from 3 to 8 months. it was serious what kept me sane. we were all in the same boat and it was so helpful. after having our second children we have lost touch due to preschool but those ladies really did mean the world to me during that time.
Posted by: feener | Mar 04, 2009 at 06:57 PM
Have you ever heard of the Parents as Teachers group? They are run through the school districts & many of them offer playgroups in addition to a monthly meeting at your home where the "teacher" comes in, brings a monthly developmental activity & talks with you about what milestones your kids are hitting & what you can be working on. These playgroups are how I've met most of the moms I know, which has been really helpful since we moved here not knowing a soul. Here's the website in case any moms are interested:http://www.parentsasteachers.org/site/pp.asp?c=ekIRLcMZJxE&b=272119
You can search by state or zipcode to see if there's a program in your area.
Posted by: Cara | Mar 04, 2009 at 07:09 PM
Have you ever heard of the group, Parents as Teachers? They are sponsored through the school districts & many of them offer playgroups. In addition, the "teacher" also comes to your house once a month & brings an age appropriate activity for each kid & talks with you about where your kid is developmentally & things you can be working on. This group has been a sanity saver for me since we moved to a new town where we didn't know a soul. Here's the website incase anyone is interested:
http://www.parentsasteachers.org/site/pp.asp?c=ekIRLcMZJxE&b=272119
Posted by: Cara | Mar 04, 2009 at 07:12 PM
i agree. while it's not a "playgroup" Mocha Moms has been my lifeline since I became a mom. it's a support group for mothers and naturally they have playgroups and other activities for the kids too. the group has been wonderful for me and that's why i'm a walking billboard for the organization!
Posted by: Justice Fergie | Mar 04, 2009 at 10:01 PM
It sounds like you've had the good and the bad. I've never been fortunate enough to have a play group, but I know when we get together with friends, it's all parents "against" the kids. We all have to look out for each other's kids or it just doesn't work.
Posted by: Krystyn | Mar 05, 2009 at 02:52 PM
We outgrew our first playgroup as soon as my 2nd was mobile. I was the only one even considering a second baby and it became pretty obvious early on that none of the "first time moms" were okay with my toddler being, well, a toddler...I had already gone through the inevitable "loosening up" that happens when you bunch and although my oldest was the youngest among his peers there was no understanding for him doing anything typical for his age while I was running the other way to keep the baby from being squished by another kid. It was really hard to let go of that since they had been *my* playgroup, too, but it was probably inevitable anyway...soon after that we became nap-trapped and have remained that way through the birth of #3. I wish I knew more bunchers now though because I'd love to find another playgroup that was age appropriate for 3 under 4 all at the same time.
Until then, I'll settle for dragging my oldest to playgroups for the girls and hosting playgroup for the big kids at our house while the baby naps.
Posted by: Carol Amie | Mar 05, 2009 at 03:16 PM
uhg, we need a playgroup... i have a really really awesome friend with a son the same age as my oldest. right now she IS our playgroup. and my sanity. but they're moving next week :-(
Posted by: MommyNamedApril | Mar 05, 2009 at 08:12 PM