baby bunching bandit

Today marked the third time in as many weeks that I have accidentally shoplifted something thanks to my Bunch.  The first time it was horrifying.  The second time it was kind of funny.  This time it was just ridiculous.

The first time it happened a few weeks ago,  I was at TJ Maxx with my mom and Baby looking for new decorations for my fireplace mantle.  We had several items we were considering, but we were taking too long for Baby's taste.  When he began fussing, I picked him up out of the infant seat, threw the item in my hand in the seat, and proceeded to bounce him on my hip and browse a little longer.  When he COMPLETELY fell apart minutes later, mom and I dashed out of the store.  We calmed him down, proceeded to the next store, picked up the baby blanket out of his seat and found the contraband item (which was, ridiculously enough, an oversized wooden pear).  Never having stolen anything before, I was beside myself.  I left my mom and the baby at the shoe store and hightailed it back to TJ Maxx to confess my sins and pay for the pear.  As it turns out, not only was I NOT arrested on my way back into the store, no one cared and I paid for the pear without incident.  I wasn't even sure if I wanted the pear, but once I had shoplifted it, it had a story so it is now proudly sitting on my mantle.

Fast forward a few days - different store, similar scene (subtract my mom and add a kid).  Get out to the car, buckle everyone in, fold up the stroller, and out falls a $2 tube of glue.  Uh oh.  Late for carpool to pick up Big by this point, so there is NO way I am unloading everyone and taking them back in for $2.  Justify it by telling myself that if I'd remembered to bring my stupid 40% off coupon, I would've saved $2 off my total purchase anyway, so the store isn't really any worse off.  Yeah, right.

Fast forward to today.  Just me and Baby hit one of our favorite joints to stock up on necessities such as diapers, Pull Ups, formula, and baby food.  His infant seat is taking up the bulk of the cart basket and it's difficult to see what's in there, so I make a special effort to group things and make sure that I get everything out of the cart at the register.  Run into a friend at the checkout, chat with her for a bit while checking out, head out to the car and drive home.  At home, take baby out of the seat and out falls...an over-sized hair clip.  ARGH!  I go to the store on a weekly basis, so I will take it back and make it right, but this is ridiculous.

The irony of this situation is that about a year or so ago, I was practically strip searched entering the dressing room of this same store when I had my kids with me.  I was really offended, and the explanation the sales clerk gave me was that "Moms are a high theft demographic for us."  I was absolutely appalled.  And now I'm speechless for a different reason - turns out they were right.  Intentionally or not, children really are the perfect cover.

 

Comments

[Emily]

I can so relate! I accidentally shoplift on all the time! You would think at this point, the Kroger employees would see me coming and check my cart really good, but no. And they never say anything when I bring the items back either!

[JessPond]

Oh my gosh. Once, when the kids were decidedly INSANE during a walmart checkout, I left with my stuff WITHOUT PAYING (accidentally, of course). I didn't realize it at all, because I had just like....bent over before the screen came up to slide my card, and then never did!!! I got to the car and was loading people in and the cashier lady came up and was like "maam, did you forget something?" and I looked at the kids, my purse, and said "no?" thinking everyone was there!!

And I FORGOT.TO.PAY. Oh my gosh. I went back and paid but she was so MEAN about it! I even THANKED her right away for getting me and her response? "Well, it was over $100!"

Uh, yeah, and I want to pay, and it's ALWAYS OVER $100 thankyouverymuch!!

So now we joke that my pic is up on walmart's wall (it's not....that I know of! hahaha).

[Kelly]

I got out to the car one time and realized the gallon of milk hadn't been scanned (self-check was open that day) while wrestling the melting toddler. The next week I asked the checker to scan my milk twice. He was a little incredulous, but thanked me for my honesty nonetheless.

[Suzanne]

I made it out of Target the other day with a tube of lanolin and a can of shaving cream hiding under the baby. It was my first time out with all three kids-- 4, 2, and 6 weeks - I guess I was a bit distracted at check out. I've also paid for stuff and then totally left it at the check out and gone home empty handed, except for the kids.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Haha. Watch out. If you don't return things

*cough DUCK cough*

People get crazed on the internets.

Honestly, we do it all the time, and if I'm not with all the kids buckled in the car, I do. Now that my daughter knows what's going on, I tell her that we accidentally took it and that we need to return it.

[Linda]

Wow, you're a better person then I am. We accidently shoplifted a Soap Opera magazine . . . I just left it outside the store on a bench. I have also been known to shoplift stickers and other craft items on the bottom of shopping carts/strollers. I usually just keep them if they're under $5. Bad mommy example, I guess.