academic redshirting and your bunch

Can you tell we've got school on the brain around here?  In recent weeks, we've covered the private school application process and also aligning preschool schedules for your Bunch.  Today we're talking about a topic that we're actually personally divided on - academic red-shirting. 

Both Linda and I have mid- July babies - ironically enough, they were born less than 24 hours apart, even though their original due dates were 3 weeks and some days apart.  Both July babies are the younger members of our respective Bunches.  Linda has a girl, and I have a boy.  Both children are really bright, socially outgoing, and have been attending preschool of some sort since shortly after they turned one.  I am pretty sure that we will hold our son back and start kindergarten when he is six and Linda is almost equally as sure that she will go ahead and send her daughter right after she turns five.  One thing we both agree on is that, as with all parenting decisions, what's right for you depends on your kid and your family.

In addition to child readiness, we're also weighing the implications of red-shirting when your crew is Bunched. The thought of having kids just one grade apart is nice.  It's all the sooner you get everyone into kindergarten and you can get back to work or whatever your plans are.  The curriculum, the homework, the teacher's idiosyncrasies, etc. are all fresh in your mind as a parent, so you can help your younger child navigate the school year.  Plus your younger sib has the benefit of drawing on the wisdom of the older one that may have taken many of the same classes (and maybe even the same teachers) just the year before.  It's likely (especially in the high school years) that they end up on the same sports teams and maybe even in some of the classes.  I confess that I even envisioned knocking out all the year's sporting events, school plays, awards ceremonies, and other events in one fell swoop, with everyone being featured at one event.

For this first time this year, I am considering the flip side.  That my sons have VERY different learning styles and it might be nice if they didn't have the same teachers and the youngest didn't follow the oldest one immediately.  That it might be nice for us as parents if we could buy another year's time before having to assume the private school price tag for our second son.  That my July boy acts awfully young compared to some of the older kids in his preschool class, some of whom were born almost 11 months earlier than he was.  Especially as a boy, I wonder what he has to gain from being the youngest kid in his class, even if he is bright.  After all, I can supplement him outside the classroom academically if needed, but I can't really shore up his social immaturity.  And finally (selfishly), the sooner I get them all into kindergarten the sooner I have to figure out what to do with the rest of my life now that the part I most looked forward to (staying home and loving on babies and toddlers) is done.

We still have another year and a half until he turns five and a lot can happen in that time, so I guess I'll just wait and see.  And it won't be the last time I have to make this decision - my youngest son was born almost exactly three years after the second, also in July. 

I know Linda and I will have many more discussions on this topic until we work it out in our heads and figure out what's best for the kiddos.  Anyone care to join in on the conversation?

Comments

[Knowles]

I read an article about this topic a few months ago and am very interested in hearing about other's decision making process. My son was born at the end of July, and although I have quite a bit of time before he heads to Kindergarten, I know we'll be making this very decision sooner than I think.

[Cori Belle]

As a former first grade teacher, I would suggest that if you have any doubts or hesitations, especially as a mother of a boy, consider waiting another year before putting him into kindergarten. Kindergarten is much more academic than it used to be, and doesn't allow for the kids to play and learn those social behaviors like sharing and taking turns like when we were kids. Boys tend to take longer to mature than girls, and this shows up in their (in)ability to focus on a lesson and often in their readiness to learn to read. In my opinion, the best you can do is wait another year and enter your son as an "older" kindergarten, socially and academically ready to learn. The best case scenario is that he is at the top of his class and becomes a leader, whereas if you put him in too early, the worst case scenario is eventual retention and all its potential effects (low self esteem, possibly not catching up, etc). I've seen kids at both spectrums and it is heartbreaking to think that "if only" he/she had had another year at home or in preschool, the child might have had a more positive school experience.

[JessPond]

Oh my goodness, this is a MAJOR source of anxiety for us!

Because our children are a mere 6.5 mo apart this is a REAL issue. LUCKILY the older is a girl and the younger a boy, so we'll be able to send them in seperate grades.

I started worrying about it as soon as we knew they'd be so close together. We KNEW that we didn't want them to be in the SAME grade because it's just too much to have to explain all the time..."you're not twins but what? You're huh?" and I didn't want to MAKE our daughter talk about her adoption all.day.long if she didn't CHOOSE to. I want her to celebrate her adoption and birthfamily but I also want her to be able to be "normal" and blend in if she prefers soemtimes. I'm HOPING that our daughter is mature since she has to go earlier!! As a May baby she doesn't have to go TOO early, but she won't get to slack at all. As a Dec baby at least our son will have a little more time to mature!! :)

[Kate]

Although my kids are 21 months apart, they each fall on opposite sides of the "September 30" line so that they will be one grade apart in school. Unless something drastic happens in the next few years, I plan to send one to K in 2012 and the other in 2013. My parents are both early childhood educators and I think somewhat concerned about the younger one being so young (she's currently 6 months old for crying out loud) but I refuse to make the decision based on MY needs and instead have only been considering what is best for each of my kids. I'm also looking at the big picture, because it's a decision that will affect them throughout college as well...

[Motherhood Uncensored]

My oldest should be starting K in the Fall. I don't have bunching issues, only that I really wish it was a 1/2 day. I posted about it today, actually. I sort of wish K wasn't so academic. Don't they have enough years for that?

[Shell]

I worry about this as well. My oldest has a December birthday, so he's not really an issue and will start K in 2010. My middle son has a May birthday and should start in 2011...but I just can't imagine, unless he makes some huge leaps in development. I see kids who will be in his K class if I send him on time- ones who have birthdays immediately after the September 1 cut off and it seems ridiculous that they would be in the same class. My only hang up is that if I send him a year later, he'll actually turn 7 while he's still in K. It will be at the end of the year, but that still seems like it's so old to still be in K.

[kelli]

We have discussed this issue in my house alot too! My middle son's birthday is in August, so he will be the youngest in his grade (and back to back in grades with my oldest). I think he is going to be ready to start school, and can't imagine holding him back even if his is the youngest in his class. I think he will be fine in school. What worries me more, is my youngest child who misses the school cut off in our state by four days. He will be the oldest in his class, and I worry about him getting bored (and being a troublemaker because he's bored!). He's only 5 months old right now, but I have been thinking about it since the doctor told me my due date!!