Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

baby bunching bests

Here are this week's Baby Bunching bests. A few newbies in here so enjoy the reads. We're glad to be back into the routine of the new year.

Knowles over at Knowles Notes has changed her game plan for the new year. Now a mother of two under two she's planning to go from defense to offense making herself a priority. Good for you!

Laura over at Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? writes a letter to Supernanny about visiting her house. She follows it up with a play-by-play of why she needed the help of Supernanny in the first place.

Michelle at Mom Without a Map is finding many of her long lost things in "secret" locations around the house. She wonders how her kids would feel if she hid all their favorite things.  

Jessica over at A Bushel and a Peck writes a very moving post about "Becoming Mommy."  I love the reference to how even after 4.5 years and three kids, she still feels like she's playing house. While you're over there, check out her tips on taking your Bunch to Disney.

Susan over at One Year Apart blogs about her preschool admission woes. This is a hot topic at our house these days and one that can be tricky if you're trying to schedule kids who are one year apart in school. A topic we'll touch on in the coming weeks.

Lisa over at Two Boys and a Baby Girl had a brief, but humorous post, about her youngest playing amongst the big boy toys.

cara's red-letter week

Since I share my fair share of parenting-related sorrows here, thought I'd share some follow-up stories on the successes as well.

First up is that Baby is FINALLY on decent sleeping schedule.  He has been on one (sort of) since about three months but it really sucked since he slept in short snatches during the daytime.  At five and a half months old, he is now taking a 1.5 hour nap in the morning, an afternoon nap ranging anywhere from 2 to 3.5 hours and he is in bed by 6:30 for the night.  With no interruptions.  I don't hear from him until 7 or 8 the next morning.  Are you jealous yet? 

We are on 5 straight days of this but I'll probably jinx myself by broadcasting it to the world.  Thanks to those of you who offered comments and support on my previous sleep schedule post.  I would like to publicly recognize Stimey, whose suggestion to hold the baby while he napped was dismissed outright, but in fact ended up being my primary methodology for coping with the past five months.  What was I thinking to dismiss the wisdom of a fellow Baby Buncher and mom of three boys - sorry, Stimey. 

I will now pass this wisdom on to you other Baby Bunchers so that you, too, can promptly ignore it.  After three babies, I have realized that their "adjustment to the world" period pretty much lasts SIX MONTHS, not the three months that most books and pediatricians tell you it does.  My kids all leveled out a little around three months, but they leveled out a LOT around six months.  So don't despair if they are still scheduless disasters at 4 months.  All hope is not lost - hang in there.

Next up is that my workout prayers have been answered.  Yesterday on the way home from preschool carpool, I noticed that a new gym called Snap has opened up just across from my house.  Snap has not paid me to make the following comments, although I wish they had.  Snap is awesome because it is A) close, B) cheap C) open 24 hours a day and  D) month-to-month with no contract required.   It does not have childcare, but the aforementioned benefits mean that I can use it as a bridge solution until the wee one is old enough for us to reactivate our YMCA membership and return there.  So for the next few months at least, I will be working out at any time of day that I can convince some poor soul to watch my children for at least 30 consecutive minutes.  I hit the elliptical for 30 minutes tonight (baby steps) and it felt great! 

Is it coincidental that baby sleeping decently and my desire to return to working out, going back to work, and actually brushing my hair once in awhile have surfaced at the same time?  I think not.  Historically, this is the honeymoon time frame (after baby is sleeping through the night but before he starts crawling) in which I would get pregnant again.  Not this time, people.  I'm officially back to myself.  For good this time.  And it feels damn good.

baby bunching bedding change tip

Baby #3 turned five months old on Christmas Eve and I realized that this weekend, I changed his crib bedding for the first time. Don't judge me - I'm neither a total slob nor a negligent mother.  It's just that he didn't even sleep in it for the first two months and then once he started sleeping in it, he was on a sleep wedge covered with a blanket that I changed weekly, so it never seemed necessary to change the bedding.

All that to say, we had our first overnight diaper leak this past weekend, so my hand was forced.  As I was wrestling to get the sheets off/on around the mattress, the (very thin, non-SIDS-causing) bumper pad, and the assorted crib toys attached to the side of the bed, I remembered what a GIANT pain in the butt it is to change crib bedding.  Believe it or not, I had totally forgotten this.

It reminded me of a tip someone gave me before my oldest was born that totally saved me when my Bunch was very little.  There was a point in time where one or both of them were wetting or puking in the crib on a daily basis.  I would've gone nuts if I hadn't been using this system.

Buy 3 sheets and 3 waterproof pads for each crib.  Layer them on all at once - start with a pad, then a sheet, then a pad, then a sheet, then the last pad and sheet.  This way, when someone has an accident involving bodily fluids in the middle of the night, all you have to do (usually, unless it is of Chernobyl-like proportions) is rip off the top sheet/pad.  It saves you from having to wash right that second or wrestle a new sheet on right away.  This way, changing the sheets is really only a complete and total hassle every third time you do it. 

enjoying the calm before the storm

There is a time after newly entering the Baby Bunching game, when things seem blissful and almost peaceful. You've recently delivered a baby (which we're almost sure was easier than the first), your toddler doesn't really care much about the latest addition, and everyone is actually sleeping....for now anyway.

You may recall after your first baby (or perhaps not since you've been sleep deprived, pregnant and had another baby since then) that babies have a very nice--and sometimes short window--where they sleep. A lot! Friends call and ask how you're doing. You respond, "Oh my God, this is so great. I have such a great sleeper. It's so easy." [Note: If you say this, I will smile and secretly roll my eyes.]

Ok, reality check here. You might have a fabulous sleeper. We really, really, really hope and pray you do. But here's what's really happening. When you had the first baby, you fell into this trap. Your baby slept for about 2-3 weeks. You lived your life as usual and then around three weeks it all came to a screeching halt. Baby wakes up. The quiet period is over.

This is probably also likely with baby #2, #3 and so forth. And while it's possible after about the fourth kid that baby will slide right into your routine, we're doubtful that with the second and third it lasts much past the first month.

So, let this be a notice to you. During the quiet period, expecting that it will end at some point (C'mon you just did this so you KNOW) here is our recommendation on what you should be doing now before the storm:

1) First and foremost you should catch up on any sleep. Chances are your toddler still naps so lay down at the same time during some of the 20 hours a day your baby sleeps and rest too. Get caught up now.

2) Spend some time with your oldest. Baby is sleeping and probably not crying much yet (still sleeping) so now is your chance to get rid of the mommy guilts and spend one-on-one time with your toddler.

3) Do whatever administrative stuff you have the energy for (because it won't last long). Meaning: do your thank yous, announcements, phone calls, emails, blogging, etc. Whichever of these you sense is a priority for you. Do it while you have the free time. Tip: phone calls and emails to friends usually gets you a "how can I help response?" You want this. You will need food and help in the coming months. Make the time investment now to reach out and get help later. Pretty tricky, huh?

4) Enjoy the quiet period. Embrace it. Love it. Savor it. Oh, and take pictures. 

Any more tips we may have missed?  

baby bunching lifesaver: the white noise machine

The white noise machine is my new best friend.  Yesterday I realized I had reached a new low when I found myself comparing my white noise machine to that of one of my girlfriends, commenting that hers was better because it was louder.  Really?

With my first two children, I scoffed at friends with darkening shades and white noise machines, claiming that my children slept just as well as theirs and could sleep anywhere, anytime, without special conditions,  The first part wasn't necessarily true, but the "special conditions" part was.  And for the most part, they could.  Because it was freaking quiet.  Baby #1 had the luxury of silence when he was resting and #2 had the luxury of a mom that could keep #2 quietly entertained while he slept.

Baby #3 has two really noisy older brothers and a mom who is outnumbered by them.  He also has, unfortunately for him, light and sound sensitivity issues.  A winning combination, all around.

Enter the white noise machine.

This precious machine, in combination with darkening shades, a pacifier, and a soft lovey named Lamby have made it possible for my child to sleep.  At first in short stretches and now in longer stretches.  And at my friend's house yesterday, it allowed the child to sleep for almost THREE HOURS, despite the fact that there were 10 (yep, count 'em), TEN other children playing in the same house.  I love you, white noise machine.

So those of you Bunchers with sleeping issues, don't be a white noise machine martyr like I was.  Take thee to a Target immediately and get one.  It looks like this.  Better yet, get this one.  It's louder.

review: meal assembly kitchen—let's dish

This year for Christmas I gave my mom the gift of food. She’s sick with cancer and many days just can’t bring herself to cook. She needs the nutrients and while my dad does what he can, I figured there were days they would rather just pull out dinner already prepared and just cook it.

I decided to give Let’s Dish a try. If you live in any suburban area, you may be able to find any number of these meal assembly kitchens: Dinner A’Fare, Super Suppers, or Dream Dinners. Although with the weakening economy, I wouldn’t be surprised if many of these places go out business.  That would be sad because this is a great thing for Baby Bunching moms.

If you haven’t tried one of these and you’re about to become a mom of two under two or recently had a new baby, we would suggest you give this system a try.

In about an hour, for $100 or so, you can make four meals that feed six. You can make more if you like. If your dinners usually just feed the grownup members of your family anyway, do the split portions and you’ll be eight dinners ahead.

Turn the cooking session into a Baby Bunching girl’s night out so you’re cooking with friends. But these places are so easy you could even send your husband there to do it—but then you’d be left with both kids alone, so better not. Use it at as a ploy to get a break from your Bunch. I even know one Baby Buncher who said this is what her friends gave her as a baby shower gift...two weeks worth of meals. The shower was actually held at the location.  

These meals are reasonably healthy (healthier than any boxed frozen dinner) and with a few extra meals like this in the freezer, anyone can cook them when you're strapped for time and sanity—dad, visiting grandma or grandpa, doting aunt, good friend.

If you are a novice at this system, make sure you explain to the workers that you’re new and that you just had your second baby in two years. In your sleep deprived state the whole place can be a bit overwhelming.

baby bunching bests

Here we go with this week's Baby Bunching bests.

Marty at Deep South Moms has just discovered that she will soon become part of our Baby Buncher. She's still adjusting to the idea. Help her out.

Jenni at Oscarelli gives us a play-by-play of her day as a new Baby Buncher. Does this sounds familiar?

Momma Bear is running from her littlest one. She thought when her third (in three years) started crawling it would be about keeping the floors clean again and things out of his mouth, but it's been about hiding her noodles. He wants what she's eating so she has to hide her snacks.

Kate over at The Big Piece of Cake writes about how nothing is sacred when you have little ones, but that it all passes so quickly. Enjoy it, she says.

Michelle over at the New Jersey Moms Blog is just getting back to the gym with her second baby. She's having a bit more trouble leaving this one with in the Kids Klub. Since working out was such a hot topic this week, I thought this was a great pick.

Tricia over at Reston Mom wrote a sweet post about how her daughters have become best friends. The younger one broke into tears when her oldest went to a birthday party. She just missed her BFF.

Just added....Super Ninja Mom over at Two Under Two has her carseat recommendations for those with two under two.

the ϋber baby bunchers

Yesterday I took Alex to a make up soccer class. Same location. Different kids and WAY different moms.

I sat down with my kids and looked around. There were four moms--all obviously BFFs and not about to chat with me. But I started counting the kids, who all appeared relatively close in age. One, two, three, four . . . eleven, twelve, thirteen. Thirteen. Holy Crap. Thirteen kids for these four moms. As I began sorting them out into families, I noticed one had three under five. The youngest was about 2 1/2, and there was one in the between that one and the five year old. Another had at least three. The oldest child in this whole mix looked to be about seven and there was not a child under two.

I realized I was in the midst of Baby Bunchers--experienced ones at that. They were taking charge moms. The snack supply and drinks were endless. Crayons, books, video games, bribes all came out of their bags. They were regular Mary Poppins! These ladies had it together.

Then I hear from the mom next to me, "We signed you up for this class. it's a sport. You need to finish or you'll lose your Wii privilege." Ha!

All four moms sat calmly as their older kids played ball on their own (obviously too old for the 4-5 year-old class). The younger ones either sat on mom's lap or ran amok. No worries from these moms as little kids were run over by older ones. Or while the little ones tried to participate in class. I spent the time trying to get Anna to play quietly next to me. I should have just let her run around with other 11 kids who clearly weren't part of the class.

Nevermind that. I was amazed at these women handling all these kids--who all appeared to actually belong to each mom. They sat there laughing, joking, and enjoying themselves as if they were out for dinner with just friends.

I felt I was in the presence of Baby Bunching greatness.

get in shape, girl

New baby is 5 months old and my muffin top is officially starting to bug me.  Such has been the pattern with my other boys too, as well as other moms I've talked to.  Must be the fact that you finally get to sleep through the night sometimes at this age that makes you wake up and see your physical flaws.

Prior to having children, I was actually quite physically active.  I swam competitively in high school and frequently trained 3-4 hours A DAY.  In college and afterward, I naturally cut back on that but kept to a nice steady workout pattern of 4-5 times a week.  I'm always a little lucky in that most of my baby weight falls right off, but I'm left with some disproportionate version of myself that has bigger breasts (a welcome thing), but a longer torso and a doughy tummy. For the first 4-5 months post-partum, I can't even see straight enough to notice my plump, droopy figure.  Then, all of the sudden it hits me like a ton of bricks that I need to get back to the gym.  Unfortunately, 4 or 5 months is also still a young enough age that I am reluctant to dump my precious darling in the germy gym child care center, so how's a girl to squeeze in a workout?

With Baby #1, I bought a jogging stroller, hit the road, and walked my way back into shape.  Hubby had a less demanding job back then, so he watched baby in the evening while I supplemented with workouts at the local community center (which has no child care center).

With Baby #2, I got irritated at my figure 5 months post-partum, but frankly, wasn't in any condition to do anything about it until I was EIGHTEEN MONTHS post-partum.  Baby Bunching really did a number on me.  I bought a double jogger, but the kids couldn't stop arguing long enough for me to walk 5 consecutive minutes without stopping, so it was kinda hard to get a "real" workout.  When I finally got back to the gym, it felt so good to be back in the saddle that I literally had tears in my eyes at that first workout.  This time, I worked out at the crack of dawn at hubby's corporate gym (no child care - boohoo!) before hubby went to work at his job that was even less demanding than the one before it.

Now I have a YMCA membership, which should be awesome because not only can I work out there, my kids can swim and play there while I do it.  Except that I am too tired to even load everyone up in the car to get them there, more less work out once I get there.  And said child care center feels germy for a baby this young in cold and flu season.  Big boys have outgrown the double jogger and there is NO WAY I am going on a walk for exercise purposes (or any purposes, really) with all three children by myself.  Hubby has a way demanding job now and I am lucky if he shows up for dinner.  On the off-chance that he does, I hate to dump the bedtime (or even morning time) routine on him for all three kids.

Yet I have got to do something.  I'm thinking my only option is going to be home-based workouts, which other moms seem to like but I have always detested.  I really depend on the external motivation of top-notch exercise equipment and other people suffering with me to push myself to my physical limits.  But at this stage of the game, something is better than nothing, so off I go in search of a decent workout tape.  I date myself by saying this, but anyone remember "Get in Shape, Girl?" from the 80's?  The awesome theme song and those ribbon-thingies are stuck in my head - I wonder if you can still buy those?  Plus I am singing the song to my baby right now while he does Jumperoo and he really likes it...dare I dream that we could work out together?

Any other suggestions?  Or are there magical solutions for carving out more time or kid-friendly workouts that I haven't thought of?  My waistline begs for your help.

hubby needs 1:1 time, too

Since we’re on the topic of one-on-one time, I thought I’d bring up another person I tend to unintentionally neglect: my husband. His one-on-one time obviously went out the window with baby #1. Just as was getting the hang of the parenting gig, he got me knocked up again.

Baby Bunching can put a strain on your marriage. But you already knew that, right? Even this Parents magazine article mentions it.

My husband is one who used to come home, make himself a beverage and sit down to read a book. Still somewhat able to do this with just the one kid, it all came to a screeching halt as soon as baby #2 came around. He would walk in the door and someone—sometimes me—was either screaming or crying. I would fling him a child and continue on with the evening, just grateful to have a second set of hands to hold someone.

In the early days, dates with hubby were hard. It was damn near impossible to find anyone outside of immediate family who would take control of our Bunch even long enough for us to grab a quick bite. I don’t blame them. A good Baby Bunching babysitter is hard to find. So we did the best we could of creating dates at home. We’d get the kids to bed early, order decent take out, get a movie and polish off a bottle of wine.

It wasn’t until my daughter was almost a year old that we felt OK about leaving the kids with someone other than family. It was our first overnight trip that really made it clear for us that we had to make time for each other. And while overnights are good because we all need that one-on-one time with man who shares our bed, sometimes it just difficult to find someone around who will take your kids for the necessary 30-hour getaway that’s needed.

This weekend since the in-laws were in town, we decided to give a day trip a try instead of an overnight. It was awesome. The best part is it’s easier to find people to watch your kids for several hours rather than an overnight. Even with my own parents, since my mother is sick, they don’t have the capacity to entertain kids all day, do the overnight duty, early morning chaos and another day of crazy. So this works well for us and gives us a chance to be together for longer than just a dinner.

Our day together started with shopping returns to the mall. OK, I know that’s not super fun, but then it meant we also got to do some shopping without little people around to comment. We enjoyed a nice long lunch—with drinks—at Legal Seafood. Then we took a four-mile hike through a nearby national park. It was nice to enjoy the falls and not have to hear children whining ‘how much farther?’ Then we hit our local town center area and pondered a movie, unfortunately there wasn’t anything during that window that interested us so we went for more drinks instead. The best part. We arrived home just as the in-laws were putting the kids to bed. So we didn’t have to do bedtime duty either. Bonus!

One of my new year's resolutions is to spend a little more time with my husband. Because honestly, it would be difficult to do this Baby Bunching gig without him.

Please share any tips you have for your one-on-one time with hubby.